Chapter Twelve.

'BUHLE'S POINT OF VIEW'

As I waited for Siwe to have her moment with her mother, I walked back and forth in the empty cafeteria. Thoughts flooded my head. Negative thoughts. I talked to Ayanda two days ago. She lost all faith in Qhamani....... She actually believed that Qhamani was guilty and she was supposed to be her friend. Bullshit. Other than Ayanda, Qhamani's grandmother reminded me everyday that I was wasting my money on the trial...... Qhamani's siblings actually sat me down and told me that they too thought Qhamani was guilty. I didn't think so...... regardless of all the social media stories and the narrative on the news... my baby just had to be innocent. My father was worried about me........unlike everyone else, he didn't say that Qhamani was guilty or innocent but he claimed that I was too obsessed with the whole situation. He pointed out that I was losing myself. Qhamani is my whole future. I can't just sit and watch her get locked up.

I wanted to see my baby walk free and come back to our home. I wanted to see Nelisiwe happy again and no amount of money will stop me. I'll spend as much as I have to to achieve my goal.

"Mr Lukhule." A guard called me and signaled me to walk over to him. Siwe's time was up.

When I went to Qhamani's cell, Siwe was standing outside. Arms crossed, leaning against the wall to the left. Qhamani looked angry..... I thought they'd be a little happier being that they saw each other. The separation sadness obviously over powered the happiness.

"My brother has been touching my child...... where do you go!" Qhamani yelled in anger almost crying. "You're supposed to be taking care of her Buhle!....... I trusted you with that because you made a promise to me that you would!" She cried and Siwe joined her.

I was cut short of words. I was confused. I had work all day and I'm never really home, but I felt at fault. When I looked at Siwe it all made sense now. That's why she isolated herself. My heart was filled with pain.

"Lock him up!" Qhamani continued. "That motherfucker should be in jail for this!"

I was frozen in the same stance. I was angry.

As I drove Siwe back home, I drove right behind the police car that was going to take Belelani away. With Siwe's statement and medical tests, Belelani would get what was coming for him.

"That little monster is lying!" Gogo went on as Belelani was being taken away.

I had Siwe in my arms. I put headphones over her ears with music playing so that she didn't have to hear anything. She laid her head on my shoulder and held me tight, she barely saw anything but she was scared.

A counselor asked Siwe questions in her room. I had lead everyone up to Siwe's room and watched them work ...... I couldn't hear any of the questions Siwe was asked because of the multiple chats that went on in the room...... I just saw her pointing and the officers collecting. The police men and women collected the clothes Siwe hid under her bed after the first rape as well as, all the other garments she remembered wearing on the other misfortunate rapes. Siwe's bed was stripped too and all the covers were taken as proof. After it was all done, I helped Siwe pack a few of her clothes and things she'd needed for school and other casuals. I was taking her out of this house. As I walked out with my suit case and Siwe's nobody questioned me. The wouldn't dare after what just transpired. Gogo was in tears..... I don't understand Zulu but she sounded like she was complaining. Wezi and her mother were comforting each other in a corner, in the living room and Qhamani's father watched me from the kitchen.

"Take care of her." I heard Qhamani's father say right before I walked out for the last time. I nodded my head and proceeded.

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Qhamani's final verdict was in two months. Things were looking great but with law you never know. In a week, I had signed Siwe up for counseling. She needed all the help she could get. I needed my jovial little bestfriend back.

"So for starters........... never ask her about our meetings........... you can only discuss with her when she brings it up." Siwe's therapist told me in my home office. She had just finished the second session with Nelisiwe in her room.

"Okay."

"Secondly......... I have an activity for you........ Siwe told me that you share a special bond with her but she can't open up to you about most issues, face-to-face........ so........ I have a journal for you both...... she will write in it every day after school, and you'll write in it after she goes to bed......... the journal should never leave her study table....... You can write in it from your preferred room but you are to return it right where she'll leave it, which is the study table....... I've already explained to Siwe ..... What you write in the journal should not be discussed unless Siwe brings it up herself, of course. I need you to make him feel safe........ She's been through a lot. Rape...... Medical check ups, an HIV scare, the bacterial infection she has, her mother is in prison for murder...... and before I forget, she talked about her Gogo ...... please please please keep that woman away from her. I won't go into detail, but do just that. Her school is toxic......remove her from there. Take her to Weston Ford........ It's a really good school and they take bullying and mental health very seriously. It's pricy, but judging from everything I can see. I know you can afford it....... Make sure she takes her medication and have a female figure that you and her trust to check the progress with the sores and swelling........ Lastly, keep her away from social media for now. Replace it with another recreational interest."

I took note of everything. I had to go an extra mile to make sure Siwe was okay and that was fine.

As Siwe's therapist advised. I had her change schools. I updated our journal every single day and so did she. I wish everything she wrote down she could tell me face-to-face, nevertheless, our conversations were heart to heart, and I hoped they helped her. I made sure Siwe took her medicine and I had Ayanda check the required progress. To keep track of everything Siwe and I decorated a chart that we stuck on the fridge. All the routine activities were stuck and highlighted. I needed the chat the most because other than everything else I had to do for Siwe and Qhamani, I had work, which made me forgetful. The chart was a guide and it kept every endeavor orderly.

I had Siwe wear sunglasses and a bucket hat each time we were in public places. Qhamani's story or case rather, drew a lot of media attention. Siwe and I's identities were compromised. So we always covered up. To not make Siwe feel like we were held hostage I took her out of the city a lot........ We went as far as Brazil to have a good time with no one breathing down our necks. Siwe did her therapy, and I believe it was of help.

(FIRST CLASS FLIGHT FROM PARIS)

"Can I ask you something?" Siwe said attracting my attention. Her seat was right next to mine.

"Sure."

"What happened to Uncle Belelani?"

"He was arrested............ 18 years."

"Is that why I can't see my grandparents?"

"No no no....... You never asked to....... I didn't think you wanted to see them, but if you asked, I would've taken you. They have nothing to do with what happened with your uncle. You can see them whenever you want to."

"Okay........,Is mommy staying in jail for 18 years too?"

"No..... hopefully not."

".........Is it true that she's not my real mom?"

"She Is...... who told you she wasn't?"

"Gogo."

"What's a mother?" I questioned.

"..............."

"I'll tell you.......... A mother is a woman that does everything in her power to make you happy, she's there when you're sad and angry........ A mother teaches you the world and shapes you to be the best person you can be."

"............."

"Does Qhamani do that for you?"

"Yeah."

"........ then there you have it. She is your mother...... anything else you want to know?"

"When will she come home?"

"We'll know that for sure in a few weeks, but I know and believe that she'll be out just in time for your birthday." I knew that was the major concern With Qhamani's release. Siwe didn't want to celebrate her ninth birthday at all if her mother would be absent.

".........."

"Is that all the questions?"

"Uhm no....... Are you going to have more kids with my mom and when?" Siwe asked making me laugh because of how she asked it.

"I don't know if we are or when........ that's mostly up to your mom."

" Hm....."

"You want a sibling?"

"Of course not........ Who would want to be replaced?" Siwe answered quickly, making us both laugh.

"We could never replace you..... ever. Having another child is not a means of replacement."

" I don't believe it........ all my friends say it changes everything. Parents say that they're not replacing you, but they do replace you without even knowing it."

"You may have a point, but it's not necessarily replacement it's more of growing apart...... when you start acting grown and all, you push away your parents not because you don't love them and not because they don't love you, but you feel the need to be independent....... So parents just stick around the younger ones before they too drift away from them."

"I don't want to grow then........ I can't imagine not wanting to be with my mom and you."

"You're eight........ let's see what happens when you're 10. Hopefully you'll hold the same ground but, I highly doubt it."

Siwe asked a whole lot of questions. She talked a lot and I talked a lot. We barely felt the length of the flight.

"Where do you want to go next?" I asked Siwe as we walked out of the plane.

"Disneyland!" She has claimed. "I've always wanted to go there." she added.

Disney land it shall be.

**************************************************************************************************

"We have a zero violence tolerance." The principal started.

For a month plus, Siwe had been great at her new school and it was actually shocking. With social media being in the hands of the youngest members of this generation these days, I was expecting at least one misfortune. I hoped Siwe wouldn't be the attacker but nonetheless, I understood her reaction and wouldn't want her to be the victim, moreover.

I managed to sweet talk the principal not to expel my little angel. She got a week of suspension though. As I talked to the principal, Siwe was waiting in a separate room. When I was all done with the principal and walked into the room she was in, Siwe immediately ran over to me and hugged me, breaking down.

"I don't want to go here anymore." Siwe repeated it between sobs.

I said nothing, I picked Siwe up from the floor and rocked her. Soon enough she stopped crying. I grabbed her belongings and we both headed to my car. The whole drive was quiet.

"So do you want to explain to me exactly what happened today?" I finally asked.

"............ A girl in my class kept sending me notes about my mom......... I didn't know who she was until today when I found her putting a note in my locker so......... I got upset, and I may have slapped her...... three times."

".......... Did you explain that to the principal?"

"He wouldn't let me."

"........ What kind of notes did the girl send?"

"She said my mom was guilty and she would die in prison and that she was a bad person and that because she's a bad person I'm also a bad person."

"You should give me those notes......... and I hope you don't believe any of the things she wrote."

"..............."

"If you did...... you shouldn't because it's not true..... your mother won't die in prison and she is an amazing mother and person....... You're an amazing person too, you hear me?" I told Siwe who wasn't looking too confident when I peeped her through my rear view mirror.

"I do."

**************************************************************************************************

'QHAMANI'S POINT OF VIEW'

"Guilty!" One of the jury selects read crushing my soul completely. I was serving a life sentence. When I looked back, I saw the look of defeat on Buhle's face. Siwe was crying and Ayanda was clearly confused, but at the same time she held my daughter, comforting her by tapping her shoulder and her back. My whole family was in tears........ My father. Good Lord. My father couldn't even keep his sane. After six years, they finally had the truth. The painful truth. A truth that made my parents lose two daughters......... this truth made them lose a son too.

Was it really worth it?

"Qhamani Ntuli!..... out now!...... you have visitors in 15 minutes. Get clean." the guard ordered.

It was only a dream. That fucking verdict was all a dream. I sighed and placed my face in both my palms. It may have been a dream but It could surely be a reality. I cleaned up and looked the best I could. I was scheduled to meet Buhle in the questioning room. I wonder how much he was paying for these favors.

I was led into the questioning room, it was Buhle and Siwe at the table. I smiled, but my smile slowly faded away when I saw the look my daughter gave me. I was never in handcuffs when she visited, today was the first time, and she was completely taken aback. I sat, and there total silence.

"Shit." Buhle cursed at his phone alarming Siwe and I. "I forgot about my meeting." he continued, and got up. "I'll be back in an hour." he kissed my cheek and started to rush off.

"Wait, how long do you have with me?" I asked.

"Two ..... three hours....... I'll be back soon." Buhle said, and left before I could say anything else.

"Your hair looks nice....... It's grown too....... Who did it for you?" I Asked Siwe who was in a slick ponytail, and well laid edges.

"Buhle did.... His been watching a thousand hair tutorials, and it's really grown yeah........ I started using some oil Nao told me about." Siwe went on.

"Speaking of Nao ....... How is she and how is school?"

"Nao is okay.......... I talk to her over the phone now and school is great."

"What do you mean you talk to her over the phone? why don't you talk to her face-to-face and I hope the phone you are using to make your calls is Buhle or Rebecca's."

"I changed schools mommy....... I now go to Weston Ford, so Nao and I don't talk as much because we don't go to the same school anymore ......I rarely have play dates with her too..............and Buhle got me a phone......... is that bad?"

"Why did you change schools?....... Weston Ford is so expensive and no the phone is not a good thing...... You're eight."

" I just changed schools....... Buhle didn't Really explain........ the kids at my old school used to tease me a lot maybe that's why, but I don't know."

I sighed. So much was changing.

"Okay...... what else have you been doing?"

"Therapy with Miss Williams........ every Monday and Thursday....... Oh...... I made the soccer team at Weston Ford and I'm really good." Siwe said with so much excitement.

"That's good......... does Buhle go to games?" I asked with a little enthusiasm. I didn't even notice until I saw the gloom on my babys face.

"No...... he's usually busy, but Chris comes." Siwe answered matching my enthusiasm.

"Who's Chris?"

"The driver...... Thandiwe and Barbara come too....... They're the Aunty's at home."

"And Rebecca?"

"Buhle kind of fired her...... he said she wasn't doing her job the way she should have"

"Since when?"

Siwe Shrugs.

".............. What else happens at "home".

"We go out of the country every Friday and come back on Sunday or early Monday morning."

I was Amazed. "Where have you been so far?"

".......... Er..... Brazil....... Paris....... New York........ Yeah that's it and next time we're actually going to start our Africa cross out."

"What's that?"

"We'll go all around Africa....... Buhle said that we would start from the top all the way down."

"So you spent every weekend outside the country and some parts of Monday even........ you do no school work on weekends?"

"No I do some....... A little...... if I have any, which I barely have most times."

"Okay..... do you get any visitors?....... Men?........ ladies?...... both at home and on these trips."

"Sometimes yeah...... but I don't get to have any friends over which isn't fair."

"What type of visitors does Buhle get...... like are they ladies my age?"

".......... Sometimes yeah."

".................."

"Why do you keep asking me questions like I'm in trouble?"

" I just want to be updated that's all."

"..........."

"So........ tell me about Weston Ford and all your friends and teachers." I said now adjusting my hostility and negative attitude.

"I'm friends with Darren,Keisha, Lutato, Natasha......" Siwe was clearly excited about her new school and her friends.

When I came down and stopped obsessing over all the changes my princess was going through without me, Siwe and I had a good time or rather a good talk. We talked for two hours straight, and I actually got to hear the full stories of every moment I missed. I felt like I was there for everything. It was amazing to have a normal conversation with my daughter. No baby talk. She was a little lady now.

Buhle only came back when I had 30 more minutes to go back to my cell. Siwe excused herself as we talked.

"I changed the school Siwe went to because her therapist ordered me to........ I don't get why it's a problem when even she told you that she loves her new school." Buhle argued. That's really what we choose to do in the 30 minutes I had with him. Argue.

"She loves it, okay...... but Buhle she never got suspended at her old school."

"This suspension wasn't her fault."

"Exactly!....... And of course it wasn't her fault. I thought so....... what ever, fuck that. Why the hell did you fire Rebecca you didn't hire her."

"I didn't hire her, but I sure was paying her for every month that she stayed.......... Qhamani, Siwe got raped......... what type of a nanny was she if she let that happen five times...... five."

"..........Siwe should not have a phone."

"It's no different from an iPad."

"............."

"............."

"I'm her mother........ I don't approve and that's it. And please don't have her joining sports You won't show up for........... You have your helps watching her, really?...... and the driver?"

"I'm a busy man and I'm trying okay....... I can't be at her games but I have my trusted staff to, and she absolutely loves them...... they're more than just helps and drivers........... they take pictures and videos at every game and with that it's like I'm there. I won't hinder Siwe's hobbies and interests just because I can't be there to watch her games."

"..........."

"Anything else you want to confront?"

"You can't keep getting her the gifts you are and the trips need to stop,......... she'll get spoilt and I can't keep up with that."

"Babe whether you're here or at home I'll get Siwe whatever things she wants and I'll take her where she wants to go too. I'm not doing this because you're here....... I'm doing it because I can do it anytime that I want to and I just do....... and what do you mean you can't keep up with that?...... how is this suddenly competition?"

"Who visits you at the house....... The ladies and the women......... are they cousins?"

Sighs. Scoffs.

"They are friends and people in my business circles if you should know."

"You don't have to lie...... I mean I wouldn't be angry with you if you were seeing one of them...... no sex for a year..... that's just......."

"Don't!....... Don't finish that sentence!......... you're fucked up for even saying that to my face right now."

"............"

"You're making me appreciate only being here for 30 minutes because I don't know how long I would have kept up with your bullshit."

"............"

"Why would you say something like that. In fact, everything you've said has been demeaning, and just........ Qhamani, I'm not being unfaithful. I'm just taking care of Nelisiwe like you asked me to. She's an amazing little girl that is great with school and soccer and she's just so kind and lovable........... And with Miss Williams help, she's developing emotionally too.......... No phone, Trips or helps and drivers can affect that."

"..............."

"......... and my plate is so full I don't even have time to cheat honestly."

"............."

".............."

"........ when I'm declared guilty...... Siwe will be forced to live with my parents....... They can't afford this life you're giving her...... yes, my dad is well to do but this is a lot so I'd like you to stop."

"Really?...(scoffs)...... that's all you can say after everything I just said......... wait....... What do you mean when you're declared guilty......... did you kill your sister?"

"That doesn't even matter.......... This case is very delicate and they want a killer. They can be no better story for the press nor a greater glory for the police department.... They can just pin this on me. It's a really good story...... ' 24 year old kidnaps sister for six years and kills her....... While taking care of her sister's daughter on the side'...." I said and tears down my face freely.

"Babe..... you are not working with legal aid okay. I have you the best lawyer for us and those things don't happen these days........, People are more educated, and they know the cost of a false verdict."

"Two more minutes!" The guard, warned us after entering the room and Siwe walked in immediately after him.

"Please just take care of her....... Always."

"Babe come on."

"Buhle what's going on?" Siwe asked in fear.

"Nothing sweetheart." He replied, agitated,

"I might be here forever my baby and I need you to take care of yourself..... can I trust you to do that for me."

"What does she mean by that?" Siwe asked me crying.

"Qhamani stop saying those things!"

"Baby mummy loves you so much." I went on and Siwe just cried. I was a whole mess because I was crying too.

"I love you."I told Buhle but he didn't answer. This was goodbye.

There was total chaos up until the guard came and collected me.

'BUHLES POINT OF VIEW'

Siwe rushed out crying. I looked at Qhamani's face for a second, as the guard took her away. She was crying like she was drowning in her own tears. I rushed out and searched for Siwe, she was standing by my car, wiping the tears that fell from her eyes.

"You lied to me!" she yelled crying even more.

When I tried to get close, she pushed me away. I waited for her to calm down before I attempted to hug her again and this time she let me.

"You told me she would get out of prison." Siwe confronted.

"She will or she won't.......... I'm sorry I didn't give you both outcomes. I only gave you the outcome I hoped for........ But trust me, she will get out...... she just has to."

"Then why did she talk to me like she was staying in jail forever?.........I want to go." Siwe demanded before I could answer her question, right after breaking the hug. She stood facing the car door. I unlocked the doors and she got in immediately with so much rage.

**********************************************

"Qhamani Ntuli has been found......... not guilty."

I know I don't deserve it, but I was acquitted, I was dismissed of all charges and I was finally going home. When I looked back, I could see Buhle wiping what look like tears of joy off his face. My grandmother was crying very loudly. She called out my sister's name multiple times. She was mourning her death all over again. My mother and Wezi comforted her with fail. My father just stood in one position. He had no emotions whatsoever. I searched for my brother, but I couldn't see him. For a minute there I forgot that he was in prison. The guard tapped me out of my search. It was officially time to go home. I gave a big thanks to my lawyer, who seemed very satisfied with himself. He didn't do much. I did all the covering up.

They had nothing on me with this case. They examined Sindiswa's body bit by bit. No DNA match. One of the test samples they collected was semen. Apparently Luthando was having sex with my sister but only I could know that. He was the psychopath in the situation. He tortured my sister and he was also making love to her, that's just berserk. Being that my sister mentioned nothing she must have been enjoying it. Luthando killed himself minutes after he heard that I was dismissed of all my charges. Fingers turned to him, and since he killed himself, he filled in the blanks. The one who found the body tried to frame his innocent sister, for reasons, unknown.

As I walked to the exit gate in the clothes I had on a year ago on my last dinner with my family, Buhle was standing, leaned against his car. The minute I passed the gate. He rushed to me and hugged me tightly. The hug went on for a while with no words. We just enjoyed one another's embrace.

After we left the sight of the prison, Buhle took me to get my hair, nails, and eyebrows done. I had a well-deserved spa day. I was done just in time to pick my baby up from school. Siwe wasn't talking to Buhle at all for a month. She was still in her feelings about her last visit with me as such Buhle never mentioned today to her, so my little princess had no idea I was coming home today. She was going to be surprised for sure.

I looked at my myself in the mirror as Buhle and I waited in the car for Siwe. For my hair, I got black back braids done. For my nails, I had short white acrylics for my fingers and white stick ons for my feet. I didn't get to do my make up, but my skin was glowing regardless.

"You look so beautiful." Buhle complemented making me blush as hard I did on our first date with very compliment he gave me.

"Thank you." I appreciated and leaned in for a kiss. I missed Buhle's lips and the touch of intimacy.

After a five minute wait, I saw Siwe walking slowly with three other girls. They looked to be so deep in the story they shared. They were laughing a lot too. Buhle and I watched her for 10 whole minutes. Siwe spotted the car, but didn't move. She clearly didn't see me.

"She hates you that much?" I questioned laughing.

"Yeah...... and it's been like this every time I've had to pick her up. She never acts like this with Chris....... she's seen that it's the black Range Rover so she knows it's me. I should try changing cars with Chris..... anyway, hold on tight because we'll be here for a while........ most days I actually go to her myself and check her out of her huddle."

We both laughed.

"You're so patient babe."

" I just have to be she's eight."

Buhle attempted to get out of the car, but I convinced him to sit back. Today I had to get my daughter myself.

"I'll do it this time." I suggested an open my door and stood outside.

Siwe wasn't looking in the direction of the car, but at her friends still. I waited for her to look at me. I wasn't going to call her or follow her. I wanted her to realize by herself.

When Siwe saw me, she screamed at the top of her lungs. She was so loud. She had so many parents and pupils look at her in worry and curiosity. Her friends looked more confused than the general crowd. Siwe ran towards me, dropping her bag,coat and phone.

When she reached me, I grabbed her in a hug and held her tight. I rocked her in our hug as she cried. I cried too. Buhle got out the car and collected Siwe's bag, coat and phone from a friend of hers that was kind enough to pick up after her.

I kissed Siwe all over her face, making her laugh.

"Are you okay my baby...... I missed you so much." I told her.

"Are you back for good?" she asked me skipping my question completely.

"Yeah I am."

"Yesssssss!" She celebrated making me laugh. I put her down, but the hug continued, and the crying had stopped.

I missed this so much. I wouldn't trade this moment for anything in the world. After the school pick up, Buhle treated us all to lunch at his restaurant. The multitude stared but I didn't mind it. I was so happy in the moment I took no notice of my surroundings. When lunch was over, we drove back home. I immediately headed to my room. I missed my bed and the comfortable and clean atmosphere. The view of the pool and the large yard.

I'm grateful.