chapter 12: your trust in me

Exam session is here. So far so good for me. I'm quite sure I aced the chemistry and history papers. Today is the last paper and it is physics , which I'm scared of. I was so scared of not doing well to the point that I pulled an all night revision.

"You okay Han? You seem tired. Your dark circles are pretty visible" Kim asked

"I'm so scared of today's paper to the point I feel like if I sleep my chances of failing is increasing. I tried to sleep but my anxiety always kicked in and I ended up continuing my revision. Fuck physics"

"Still you should at least get some sleep. Not even an hour Han?" Samuel asked

"I think I did sleep, but maybe only for half an hour... Now that you guys mention it , I just realized how pathetic I sound. "I rubbed my tired eyes.

"How about you just sleep? The exam is still in 2 hours, we will wake you up 45 minutes before the exam." Samuel suggested. I can't lie, I'm very tired and sleepy. So sleepy to the point that whenever I blinked, my eyes hurt. We went to the nurse's office and we asked permission before using the bed. I laid my head on the bed, relaxed my body, closed my eyes, breathing peacefully, and just like that, I am welcome to the dreamland.

It was a quiet peaceful sleep. Thanks to my beloved friends, I can peacefully sleep without worrying about the exam. However I was awakened by the sound of someone reciting something, something about voltage. I opened my tired eyes and turned my head to my left, there is a blurry figure of a boy who is sitting on the nurse's chair. I rubbed my eyes to get a clear image of him and it was the boy with short haired, brown coloured phoenix eyes, mole below his left eye, high nose bridge end, with his thin lips moving as he repeatedly read the same question, probably recalling the formula. Suddenly he stops doing his thing and turns to me. He gives me a warm smile, warm yet melts me, and walks towards me. That is it, the boy who's my height is only around his neck, walking towards me, accompanying me while I was asleep for who knows how long, instead of my friends. I felt so betrayed, yet... thankful?

"You're awake?" He asked me

"Yeah... Why are you here? Where's Kim and Samuel?" I yawned

"Oh, Kim has to go home early because his parents suddenly can't take him from school later, Samuel went to meet the principal because you know why. Fadly has to go to the class because our classmates are in life dead situation where they don't understand energy and he's the only person who ace physics who is awake" he smiles

"Oh..." I said and yawn again. I covered my whole face when I yawn because I do realize that I look hideous. Aiden just chuckled at me and I asked him why.

"It's cute when you yawn" and just like that, another delicate warmth crept up my cheeks.

"Kim told me to wake you up 45 minutes before the exam, you've only slept for 40 minutes I suppose. Go continue your sleep, I know you're still sleepy. Don't worry, I will wake you up, I won't sabotage you." He ends his comfort loving caring sentences with a warm smile. Smile that kills me because I know that it will never be mine.

"Thank you Aiden, I'll continue my sleep. Also the formula for voltage is 'V = I R'. I figured that you might need it for your question" I said and rest my head on the pillow

"Wait, how did you know the question is about voltage?" He asked

"I heard you mumbling reading the question. Use voltage formula" I suggested to him.

He gave me another smile however close to a laugh

"What are you laughing at? I'm sorry if I sound like an asshole. Maybe you're thinking I'm showing off but I'm just telling you. Don't get the wrong idea Aiden. You're pissing me off "I hide my whole body under the blanket.

"What? Han no!" He left out a sigh before explaining himself

"I'm just amazed by how quickly your mind works. You're just awake and probably still blur about your surroundings however, you manage to tell what formula to use just by your half awake hearing. That's amazing Han..." He stops for a while before continuing

"You know? Kim was actually the last person who accompanied you. Fadly was called first then Samuel then Kim. When he was told to go home, he was so worried about you so he refused to go home until he found someone to replace him. I was coincidentally passing this room when he was looking for someone. He told me to study here while you're sleeping because you're so tired from pulling an all-night revision. He told me to wake you up 45 minutes before the exam and when I asked him why and he said because you're so worried of not doing well in the exam and you're not so ready for it. However, from what I see here, you're ready Han, maybe more than ready! What you did was amazing, and to me, it shows that you're so ready for the exam!" He pulled my blanket on my head down to my waist. At that time my grip on the blanket was weak because I was too focused on his words.

"Don't hide yourself Han, listen to what I'm going to say. You're amazing. I don't know who tells you that you're not, because you are amazingly impressive to me. If they told you otherwise that means they are just jealous of you Han! But I know not just them telling you the opposite, you yourself told you that!"

My eyes widened and my heart at once jumped.

"You self doubted yourself so badly and that makes you think that you're not ready! Don't bring yourself down because Han, I'm telling you, you're an amazing person! You never failed to impress me and it kills me seeing you looking down on yourself like this! I hope you can see just how astonishing, incredible and precious you are in my eyes" those words, I can feel my eyes being shimmered with unshed tears. Hearing this from someone who I tried to love out is probably not the best thing but I don't care.

This emotional feeling controls my body, I can't control my body as I come closer to Aiden and before I can stop myself, I've already hugged him. My head on his shoulder, I can feel his whole body stiff up because of how unexpected this hug is, but he quickly relaxed and returned my hug. I don't expect that either but who cares at this point, I'm just thankful.

"Thank you... Thank you Aiden... You don't know how much I need those courage words. Thank you..." I returned to the bed after saying that because I know that things will get awkward if I don't

"You're welcome, go continue your sleep! Don't mind me! You're wasting your remaining time! Don't worry, I will wake you up 45 minutes before the exam. I will, I promise"

"Thank you… You know what Aiden? Make that 45 minutes to 10 minutes. I'm ready for this exam."

Aiden just replied to me with a huge smile on his face. With his cute dimples on his right cheeks and smiling eyes as his smile gets bigger.

"I will, don't worry. Just sleep" he said and returned his focus to the past year paper again.

The exam went well, I'm sure I did so well. I answered every single question and did not question my workings and answers. That's a really good sign. Thanks to Aiden also because he comforted and encouraged me with his words. Maybe to others it's not really impactful, but to me it is, and I just can't describe how thankful and grateful I am. But fuck to Aiden too because I can't really focus answering. Why? Because he keeps staring at me! With his right palm on his chin, head facing me, how can the teacher not scold him?! I once turned my head facing him, so that he would look the other way but my trick failed. He even winked at me. I just replied to him with a pissed off smile. But I can't be really mad at him, I'm still so thankful for him. Thank you Aiden just, how can I grow out of you if you kept doing this Aiden...