chapter 13: only you can do that

It has been weeks since Alex came to school, just today Miss Clara told us that he is transferring to another school. Aiden's name was pretty spreading for a bad reason. Rumors about him being a bully spread around but only for a few days because overshadowed by the rumor of us dating. I honestly felt bad for Alex, sure what he did is creepy and so not normal but I still think he shouldn't be humiliated so harshly by Aiden...

Our math teacher decided to show us our papers early so that we could make corrections. I counted both my paper 1 and paper 2 and overall I got an A with 93%. Slightly decreased from my previous exam but I'm still grateful. During this time, the sound of people saying "Yeah I passed my target" and "fuck I failed again" will be heard. Also, people ask each other for their marks so that they can feel better about their marks, also showing off that they did better than their friends. Although I'm curious about others' marks, I think it's better not to go around and ask how much they earned because it's just too awkward and painful to handle.

If you get lower than them you will either be surprised because you thought you did so much better than them or you will be humiliated by their egoistic narcism that makes you rethink your self-worth, which I don't need. Not to mention the type of students that will guilt trip me with their "Oh you don't need to see, you're higher than me!" Bish I know I am, I just need to feed my narcissism so that I can walk around in confidence every day, knowing that I am better than someone, at least, at something, HA!

"Han? How much did you get?" A group of my classmates asked me. Really surprised me with how brave they are. So highly confident with their grades that they dare to ask about my marks

"93%... I dropped a little though..." Gotta keep it cool and humble y'all.

"Of course! When I thought that we could surpass you! We only got 80%"

"That's already good! What are you guys saying? Don't study to be at the top, study for your own good instead" bitch I'm a hypocrite.

"Wait 93%?! No way! Karina surpassed Han! She got 97%!" A student from behind shouted. What?

The view of the whole class ran towards Karina to make sure she surpassed me and once they looked at it they started to clap and congratulate her.

"Wooo finally someone surpassed you, Han!" They laughed. Humiliated, that's the only word I can use to express what I am feeling. Fuck you guys, I swear you will never get a decent job! Talking shit about me as if they are the ones who surpassed me when it was Karina.

"Congratulations Karina. You worked hard so you deserve it, "I smiled. I'm not mad at Karina. Why should I be mad at her anyway? Because she surpassed me? Mad because she worked hard? That's stupid. I appreciate every single person's efforts. What I hate is the people that tried to bring me down. Instead of being happy for Karina because she gets an A, they are happy for her for surpassing me.

"Hey, it's okay. I know you're holding your rage right now but please keep your cool. You're going to look like a loser if you let it go" Fadly said as he patted my back. I just smiled at him back as a thank you.

I swear to god, my life is the hardest! Have to always appear perfect! And it sucks so much that whenever I show little flaws, people will start shitting on me! No one will ever understand how hard it is to be me. Have to wake up 2 hours early before my dad sends me to school because I have to make sure my body smells floral. Extensive skincare and have to do my makeup carefully because I have to look "perfect but natural". I have to skip meals because I can't gain weight or people will start to say I look unattractive! Have to study for hours every night because people will make fun of me for not being able to stay at the top! I'm so sick of my life! Fuck my hard life!

*

It's time to go back home but I'm just not feeling it. I told Fadly to go before me because I needed to finish writing my notes first, of course, it's a lie though. I just spent the time laying my head on the table while staring at an empty seat, thinking about my self-worth.

"I'm such a pathetic loser" I laughed

Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"There you are!" He said and ran closer to me

"Come on, let's go down. Your father is waiting. He has been waiting for almost half an hour already and-" he suddenly stops.

"Are you okay Han?" I just nodded at him without saying anything. Of course, he can tell I'm not. He takes a chair from my other side seat and sits next to me.

"Is this about earlier?" I nodded again. He let out a sigh.

"Han, how much did you get?"

"90%"

"And how much did you think I got?"

"70%?"

"No."

"60%"

"No"

"65%"

"Han stop pretending I know you think I failed, no need to pretend, stop trying to not make me feel bad. Just say your real number"

"30%"

"Fuck you I got 12%"

"What the fuck!" I was so surprised that I suddenly stood up

"What the- how Aiden!"

"That's what happens if you don't study but hey at least I remember my circle theorems" he proudly says

"Aiden that's so bad, what are you going to say to your parents?"

"They don't really care about my studies so why should I be worried?"

"Lucky you..."

"No Han, lucky you," he said

"You got an A! 90% is above amazing! Han, did you forget what I told you the other day? You need to stop self-doubting yourself! Stop bringing yourself down because that's what stops you from making you think that you're not enough and amazing! Who cares if they shit on you and celebrate because a random girl-" "Karina is our classmate Aiden..." "-surpassed your math grade? Remember, those people are the same people who are not getting an A like you. Probably failing to like me."

"Don't talk of yourself like that Aiden."

"See? Hearing someone bringing themselves down is bad right? That's to me too. I don't like it when you bring yourself down, you're a spectacular person Han!"

I can feel a tender smile forming on my face, filled with a warm glow and gratitude, the feeling of being touched and genuinely appreciated... Only he can do that.

"Thank you, Aiden... You are always the one to make me feel better. Let's go home now. My dad is probably mad right now..."

"Just now realizing it huh?"

I packed my stuff into my bag and walked out of the class. We walked down together with him walking on my right, by my side.

"You should study more Aiden, 12% is very concerning..."

"Maybe you can teach me? Next exam you need to teach me" He turns his head to his left and lower it to the level of my face. His adorable smile and small giggles, is he flirting? Or genuinely asking for help? Whatever.