chapter 24: the things I did to make you mine

However, my foolish acts got me into trouble with my parents. My neglect of studies made my parents mad at me. I failed almost all of my subjects, I only passed three subjects and all three were below 65. I placed last in the class ranking, this has been the worst result I have ever gotten.

My parents were really mad at me, we had a big fight. Although it was my fault, I refused to apologize and continued to add gasoline to the fire. They eventually kicked me out and I used my money to stay at a cheap motel. Because of my limited money, I can't afford to wash my uniform at the laundromat. I also starved myself because I was scared that I wouldn't have enough money to pay the rent.

For three days I stayed at the motel. Finally, I checked out because my money was running out. I hadn't had a proper meal since the day I left home so I decided to buy something from the convenience store. After buying a cheap cream bun, I walked outside. In the middle of my walk, someone tapped me behind, and when I turned to see them. It was Han. My eyes widen in surprise, I can feel the shocked cold air passing me. He asked me about my condition and it broke me. I went to hug him to hide my tears, but my sniffing was still hearable.

When we sat on the chairs outside the store, I explained to him what happened. Han, being the kind person he is, offered me to sleep at his place. When I tried to turn down the offer, he hugged and comforted me, my tears were coming back.

At Han's house, his parents are so nice. They let me stay at their house and even let me call them 'mom & dad'. A step closer to becoming Han's boyfriend, no, Han's husband. Seeing Han have adorable interactions with his parents makes me jealous. I miss my parents but my ego is still high.

Han's parents also let me use Han's uniforms so that I could go to school. It's Monday and my first day at school after a week of being absent. I can't sleep very well because of my nervousness. I was awakened by Han's alarm but still sleepy so I decided to just wake up after Han woke me. I opened my eyes slightly to see what Han was doing, he grabbed his towel and went to take a shower.

After hearing the bathroom door being opened, I quickly pretend to be asleep with my eyes slightly opened. His body is so alluring, his hairless body, pinkish tantalizing nipples, cute belly button, suckable collar bone, and slightly looking abs. He takes a look at me first before turning his back to me and taking off his towel from his waist. My heart beats even faster in excitement. His beautiful body is now seen by me. His waist looks like a great handle to hold when I fuck him. I fully opened my eyes to have a better view of his fantastic body shape. He looks so seductive, even just from behind. I want to wake up, hug him from the back, and kiss his neck passionately, but I hold it in.

When he left the room, I quickly took off my shorts. My morning wood was just excited even more when I saw Han's body. I spit on my hard dick and start stroking it. I grabbed Han's pillow and started to fuck it so that when Han is asleep, he can feel my dick's presence. Suddenly came an unholy and disgusting idea to me, but my lust had already controlled my sanity. I went to the bathroom and took Han's boxer to smell. It was fuck. I inhaled every single part of it. The smell of sweat mixed with a slight odor, makes me moan in great pleasure.

I went back to the bed with his boxer on my face, still smelling it intensively. I started to fuck his pillow once again but this time with Han's boxer on my nose. I played with my nipples to add pleasure. I continued to thrust his pillow, imagining that it was Han. I constantly moan his name, praising his hole. I was so out of mind. After about ten minutes, I felt like to cum. I quickly threw the pillow away and grabbed Han's towel. I placed it under my penis and aimed my shots at it so that when Han is drying off his body, my cum is spread all over his seductive body. To his neck, shoulder, legs, hand, waist, underarms, hole, every single part of his body.

Later that morning I also learned that Han wore makeup before going to school. Han is a very perfect boy, he is good-looking, adorable, brilliant, rich, talented, popular, has a loving family, he has everything. I have always wondered what a guy like him was supposed to do to keep life interesting, I wonder what it felt like to be him, life must have been easier.

But I was wrong, it's all only an image he shows. Behind that perfect boy, hides a severely insecure and self-doubtful true self. Although with all his true flaws, I still can't help but like him even more. It kills me so much when he puts himself down because, to me, he is the most amazing person. The way he works hard to be at the top fascinated me. However, I hate the way he kept taking people's words as his purpose of living. I want him to know that he is beautiful, brilliant, and perfectly imperfect.

"...but I want you to know that you're beautiful in my eyes, in the eyes of people who love you, who care about you, so, why don't you just care about them?" I said to comfort him who was crying. It's refreshing to see him crying, it's nice to see someone like him also have flaws, I fall for him even more.

*

Han and Saff started to get extremely close. A student saw Saff sweetly back-hugging Han and started the rumor of them dating. The rumor was highly spread until the other blocks knew about it too. It annoyed me wherever I went, I heard the rumor. My jealousy was at its peak, It had fully taken control of my sanity. I also secretly turn Han's alarm off so he will wake up later than usual so that I can come to school earlier than him. Why? So I can start to silently collect Han's letters and throw them away without his knowing. Enough with Saff, I don't want any other competition.

Sure what I did is extremely wrong, but I don't care. I have fallen for Han this deep, that I can't even find any way back up to the surface. The only thing that can keep me surviving is by owning Han, he must date me.

Although it's not Han's fault that the rumor happened, I still can't help but be upset with him. I started to act cold towards him but he still kindly treated me like before, it made me feel awful but my ego was too high. It was like that until the night came, I opened my door and saw Han at my table with my bag opened by him. I started to panic and walked towards him to snatch my bag back. We had a really bad fight. I wish I could stop because my ego refuses to. I thought I was winning until I brought up the lie that I never thought would have its consequences.

I was so out of mind, I was possessed by pride. I made a fake explanation to make my lie even more convincing. A wise girl once said that to make a lie true, you need several lies. While a lie produces another lie, and that lie produces more lies, I'm so ashamed of myself. I forced Han to stand right in front of my confession so that he could witness my fake happiness. I want him to regret not loving me back, I was so desperate to make him regret it.

The next day I went to school extra early to meet Mabel from the other block. She agreed to help me, only if I paid her. Although I was actually saving money, I still paid her. I have already forced Han to witness my confession, I even told the whole school that I am going to confess my love to a girl later, ain't no way I back down. I need to make Han devastatingly regret it. I want him to beg on his knees, crying with his snots coming out, short of breath.

However weeks passed, there were no changes and my contract with Mabel was about to finish. On the last day of the contract, Han still didn't show any sign of regret, instead, he seemed so supportive and unbothered when I told him about Mabel, that I started to regret my decision to fake date her. Why aren't you jealous of me Han? Why do you seem so okay about it?! I was so stressed and decided to hang out alone in the town.

That's when suddenly I had the idea, my final idea to make Han mine. No, even if he doesn't tell me he loves me, I'll still strive to make him mine. I don't care how long it takes, Han has to be mine. I need to be the one who he's sleeping with. I faked my drunk and asked Han to pick me up. When he arrived, he asked me about Mabel, he ate the first bait. I continued to act drunk while complimenting Mabel and thirsting her so that he would get annoyed, and he did. Han eventually confessed his love to me. Although it was all my plan all along, It still surprised me that he confessed.

I really miss him wrapped by my arms, his head laying on my chest, his scent. I then confessed my feelings toward him also and explained about me and Mabel's situation. Yes, this all along are my plans. From the very start, informing Han that I was going with Mabel although it was just a lie, so that when he arrived and saw me alone he would ask about Mabel's whereabouts. Pretending to be drunk so that he will have more courage to confess.

"I like you so much, Han. I dreamed of you every night. Every day I tried everything so that we could have a single sweet interaction together. I have always been jealous when I saw you received and read letters from the juniors. I was insanely mad when I heard people shipping you with Saff that I came up with a plan to throw away every letter dedicated to you. I'm so jealous of the pencil and pen that you used to bite because of your old habits. I'm so jealous of the paper that you touched with your hands. I'm so jealous of the straw you used to drink that touched your precious lips, Han. That's how crazily in love I am with you Han! Please! Please date me! I beg you, please! Let's date Han, I want to date you! I want to walk around with our hands interlocked, let all eyes see that you belong to me!" I confessed.

Han's eyes are so beautiful. The way they are sparkling with tears on their way to falling. He nodded and agreed and that's when my dull world became bright once again. The blooming fluttering feelings tickle me inside. The tears that he held up earlier have now fallen after a blink. As the tears fell on his cheeks, he left out a gorgeously flourishing smile. A smile that I always dreamed to be mine, is now officially secondly owned by me. I hugged him even tighter, my happiness was overflowing, and it felt like I was winning in life. It felt like a dream that I never wanted to wake up. Finally, he's mine. Han is finally my boyfriend. After two years of chasing, the run was finally over. His smile, his laugh, his sweet gestures, his hands, lips, kisses, legs, his whole existence, is now mine. Han is my boyfriend.

"Even if you tried to run, I would still chase you. If you want to break up, I won't give up to make you rethink your decision. I will chase after you, I won't let you just break up with me cheaply or just because you're bored, I won't let that. You're going to be my boyfriend, Han, I won't let you go easily, Han... If you wanted to run away or were scared, then this is the only time I'll allow you, I won't chase you." I warned him. My love for him just started blooming intensively. If he decides to run away, then this is the only time I'll probably let him go because I know that the moment we start dating, my love will continue to grow and he will have a hard time to throw me away from his life.

Han just nodded while his head was deeply buried in my chest. A relieved smile and tears came out of me. I tighten up my embrace and kiss his head. His soft hairs that I miss brushing with my hand when he's asleep.

"Finally you're mine Han... Finally, you're my boyfriend."