Conflicted Feelings

As joy swelled within me, Anne, another of my maids, spoke words that cast my heart into the depths of despair. Her words descended on me like a chill, wiping away my smile and burdening me with guilt.

"Love is a splendid emotion, Your Highness. Yet, it must never be self-serving. It is pure, free from any falsehood or deception. To truly love someone is to be incapable of causing them pain," she imparted in a soft voice.

Her words struck me like a ton of bricks. A heavy realization dawned on me, and my heart plummeted. The bubble of joy surrounding me burst as I recalled my true identity. I had been deceiving Prince Killian all this time. I was not the princess he was destined to marry. I was simply an imposter.

The smile on my face disappeared and was replaced by a look of sadness and guilt. How could this happen? How could I fall in love?

I had been living a lie, pretending to be someone I wasn't just so I could complete the task. My goal of coming here was clear. I just wanted to save my brother's life. Meeting Prince Amelia and taking her identity was just a means to get closer to achieving my goal. 

I knew that if necessary, I would have to marry in her place. That was the deal between me and the princess. I had been prepared to marry whomever Princess Amelia was destined for. However, falling in love with Prince Killian has complicated everything.

How could I love him and deceive him at the same time?

What would happen if the truth got out?

What would happen if he found out that I was not the princess he thought I was?

I felt a lump form in my throat, and my eyes began to well up with tears. After that intimate moment with Prince Killian, I was so caught up knowing that I had fallen in love with him that I failed to remember all the other things. I failed to remember that I was an imposter princess. I failed to remember that I was here on a mission. I failed to remember the consequences of my lies and deceit. 

With a heavy heart, I closed my eyes and came to a conclusion. Even if I loved Prince Killian, I could never confess my love to him. I couldn't let myself sink deeper in love for him. I had to be clear-minded and focused on my goal. 

If one day, I am exposed, at least I wouldn't be hurt, nor would I see the look of disappointment and betrayal in his eye. This would be for the best. 

"Your Highness, are you alright?" Anne's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I forced a smile and nodded, trying to hide the turmoil that was raging inside me. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you," I said, my voice trembling slightly.

Without another word, I dismissed my maids and asked to be left alone. I needed time to process everything that had just happened. As I lay in my bed, my mind kept going back to Prince Killian. I couldn't deny my love for him, but I knew that I had to let him go.

Just then, I gasped, my eyes widened, and I sat up on the bed. Clenching my fist, I realized that I had almost forgotten about my task. What was I doing? I was here, thinking of love and Prince Killian, while my brother was fighting for his life.

That mysterious man had given me the ultimatum. He had warned me that I must find the ancient book within two days if I  wanted to save my brother's life. 

So, what was I doing here instead?

Holding my head in my hands, I realized that this was not good. I couldn't believe that I had almost let my emotions cloud my judgment. My brother's life was at stake, and I had to focus on finding the book, not on my feelings. I needed to get my priorities straight and focus on saving my brother's life instead of dwelling on my personal desires.

Later that night, my heart was in a complete frenzy as I stood in front of the mirror, watching my maids doll me up for dinner at the royal dining hall. My mind was filled with a million thoughts, but one thought stood out the most — the thought of meeting Prince Killian.

I didn't want to go to the dining hall. I was scared to face him, scared that he would see the love in my eyes for him. Love and lies can never be kept hidden for long, and I didn't want to be discovered. 

"Princess, are you alright?" I heard Emily, one of my head maids, ask me with concern. "You seem lost since this morning. Is there anything on your mind?" 

I shook my head. "I am alright." 

Hearing this, Lily, another maid, couldn't resist teasing me. "Her Highness must be lost in thoughts of the Prince," she chuckled, earning a smack from Anne, another maid.

"Lily, please, stop teasing her Highness," Anne scolded Lily, who simply nodded with a mischievous grin.

After I was dressed, the guards escorted me to the royal dining hall. Holding my gown, I couldn't help but feel nervous as I approached the hall. The thought of facing the prince was making me dizzy, but I steeled myself to remain focused. 

As I entered the hall, I saw the King and Queen already seated at the head of the table. I curtsied and greeted them, my voice trembling. The Queen smiled at me and asked, "Princess Amelia, are you comfortable with your stay in the palace?"

I nodded and thanked her, trying to control my voice. I took my seat, and just as I was beginning to relax, the King asked, "Where is Prince Killian?"

At the sound of his name, my heart missed a beat. Striving to maintain composure, yet internally fraught with anxiety, I inadvertently glanced towards the head guard, Marcus, who promptly updated the King.

"Your Majesty, I regret to inform you that Prince Killian will not be joining us for dinner. He is not feeling hungry," Marcus announced.

The King showed no reaction to Marcus' words and simply commanded, "Let us begin the dinner."

Relief washed over me, and I inadvertently let out a small sigh. Yet, a touch of sadness lingered. The memory of Prince Killian hurrying away after our intimate encounter in the royal library haunted me.

Was Prince Killian avoiding me?