Chapter Six

Once back at Logan's house, we decided to switch it up. Logan's house was bigger, with more stuff to do. He has a pool outside and a much larger television. Logan's father is a lawyer, who specializes in business, and his mother is a Cardiologist. Logan is an only child. They brought him a house right out of high school and a truck. He is very spoiled, in my eyes. I don't think he has earned his belongings.

 I sit in the corner of the pool, luckily Logan has a fence because I didn't have a swimsuit, so I wear my bra and underwear. 

 Logan is at the grill flipping burgers. I smile. Will this be our life one day? Watching him cook food for our children? 

 I climb out of the pool, grab a towel, and wrap it around my body. I move towards him. "Smells good."

 Logan cracks open a beer. I roll my eyes. 

 "Logan." 

 "It's just one beer Tills," he laughs. 

 "Isn't that how it starts?"

 He laughs, "I can handle my beer, it's the hard liquor that throws you for a loop."

 "Okay." I force a smile. I don't want to push him too far.

 Moments later, the burgers are finished and we are sitting at the picnic table. I took a bite, and they were delicious. 

 "You are still a good cook." I smile. 

"You know it, the best." He winks. 

"And still very cocky."

He laughs, rolling his eyes.

 "Wow, dude, having cookouts without me," I hear a male voice I have never heard before. 

 I see a man walking into the backyard. He doesn't look like the men Logan normally hangs out with. He wears a plain white T-shirt and baggy gray sweatpants with a backward red hat and a gold chain around his neck. I couldn't help but notice a cigarette in his ear. 

 "Tilly, this is Justin," Logan introduces his friend. 

 I smile. "Hey." 

"Justin, this is my girlfriend Tilly," Logan says. 

"Not your baby's mama?" He asks. 

 I hope I could hide the disgusted look on my face. 

"No, we don't have kids yet," he smiles. 

I watch as Justin takes out a cigar from his pocket and lights it. "Wanta smoke?" Justin looks over at Logan. I notice the glare Logan gives Justin. "I don't smoke."

Justin looks at me and laughs. "Oh right, you don't."'

"May I be excused?" I glare at Logan. I am at a loss for words. I don't even know my boyfriend anymore. 

Leaving the table, I feel sick. I want to just go home. I am watching Logan change, and I hate it. 

"Tilly wait," Logan calls after me. 

I keep walking. What should I say? I don't like your new friends.

"Tilly damn it," Logan screams. 

I turn around. I know my face is red. I am angry. "What do you want me to say, Logan?"

"The truth," he looks down. 

"Well, how about you first? When did you start drinking and now smoking?"

"Tilly, you're not my mother, you're my girlfriend, and sorry I am not like you," he tells me. 

"Like me?"

"Yeah, college and a career," he tells me. 

"Knock it off Logan, you can have that too, but you choose to drink and smoke and hang out with people who are not motivating you and are bad influences," I yell. 

"I make my own choices," he tells me.

"Then pick better ones," I glared at him. 

"Tilly, I can't help, I am not your perfect boyfriend anymore," he says. 

"I don't want you to be perfect, but you are better than this. I am not sticking around to watch it," I feel the water on my face. 

"If I don't have football, I am no one. The team was my life, my career, and that's gone," he yells.

I wipe the tears from my eyes. I move over close to Logan. "I know it feels like that, but you are so intelligent, roll in classes, take basic ones, and then figure out what you want to do."

He looks away. "Fine, just get off my back."

I grab Logan's arm. I see little red bumps on his forearms near his veins. It looks like blisters maybe. My world spins. It was as if I was on another person, looking in on my heartbreak. I feel so lost.

"Logan, what is that?" 

He pulls his arm away and steps back. "You need to leave Tilly."

"I am getting help."

"No, you are not because we are over, I don't want you anymore," he yells at me. 

I feel nauseated, like my world has been turned upside down. 

"Logan please, I won't question you anymore."

I feel myself crying, I can no longer control my emotions. I feel shaky and sacred. I am losing Logan, and in a way I never thought possible. 

"I cheated on you with Delilah, she is way more hotter than you," he says. 

I nod. Why would he want me?

Turning around, I walk towards my car. My stomach hurts, my mind spins, and my heart is broken.