Talking

(Levar Point of View)

After like 30 minutes, I can't be in this room anymore. I stand up and open the door but it's locked. I guess it's good that Asaka made the giant hole in the door. I leave the room and I head into the bathroom. I put the kitten into the litter box and I get into the shower. I can't even look at myself. I just let a man fuck me. I can feel some of his sperm inside of me. I feel so dirty. I hate this. I can still feel his touch and hear all the comments about me being a girl. I fall onto the ground as I shower. I turn up the water until it is burning my skin. Maybe this will help the feeling to go away. I hate this. I keep turning the heat up until I can't anymore. I do hear the door open and then close. I look outside of the shower but I don't see anyone or the kitten and there is a lot of steam and new clothes. It seems like sweatpants and a sweatshirt. My other clothes are gone. I guess Asaka did that for me. I lean back into the shower as I sit under the hot water. 

Once the water starts to get cold, I get up and I actually clean myself up. I dry myself off. I put on the clothes. They are a bit big on me but that is fine with me. Some boxers had a note on it that reads, "Hi darling. I understand you are scared but I have the kitten with me in the living room and I think we should talk. I understand if you don't want to and you can head straight into your room. I will be in the living room when you are ready." I set the note down. I look at the litter boxes and see the kitten went to the bathroom again, which is good. I look at the mirror and all of my skin is bright red from the water. Some of my skin is peeling off from the burning. I might need some lotion or something for my skin. I grab myself a cup of water and I drink it. 

I look back at the note. Should I go talk to her? She killed someone with no hesitation. What if I am next? I reread the note. I should make sure that the kitten is alright at least. I head out into the living room. I see Asaka kind of playing with the kitten but seems to be looking at him more than anything. I just stay at the doorway. Asaka soon notices me as she puts the kitten in her lap and starts petting him. 

"Come sit down. I'm sure you don't want to be near me right now but you can sit on the couch with me or in the chair in front of me."

I pause for a second before sitting down in the chair, I am too scared to look at her so I just look in my lap as I play with my fingers. There is silence for a moment before I ask," how many?"

"How many what?"

"How many have you killed?"

"Listen, it's not like that. This isn't something I normally do."

"Then you should be able to tell me."

There is a pause before she mumbles, "4." I look up at her and I see her looking at the ground. "That is how many I have killed."

"Why?"

"For work mainly. I have seen a lot of injustice so twice now, I have killed someone just because I believe they deserve it. The other two were because I was startled and just starting out."

"When did that happen?"

"I was 18. I had just joined and the others scared me a lot as a prank so when I got scared because of a criminal, I shot. I only hit someone a few times and only twice was it fatal. I still regret it."

"What was the first injustice you have seen?"

"The criminal was well known for killing and then raping them. He went to court several times but was always let go. I hated seeing what was happening so I killed him."

"That's not what happened with the one you just killed."

"I know. But you have to understand. He was part of the mafia. He is part of so many deaths and then he touched you."

"What if it was someone else?"

"I…" There is a pause. "I probably wouldn't have reacted as bad as I did."

"Why me then?"

She looks up at me. "Because I love you. I don't know what it is but I do. I love you. I need you. I have been craving to hear you call me ma'am again, to hold you again, to just keep hearing your voice, and I really want to just keep you here with me. I don't want you to leave."

What? She wants to keep me? Why? And she loves me? And she craves me? She killed someone and it's because she wants me? What is going on? This has to be a dream, right? There is no other explanation for this.

"Listen, I see your shock and if it helps, I won't do it again. I will keep my cool. I won't hurt anyone just because they touch you. Just please don't leave. I need you. Please."

"That doesn't make any of this right. I should leave."

"Of course. I understand. How about you name the kitten while I get you something to drink before I take you home?"

"Fine."

Asaka gets up and puts the kitten on my lap as she leaves. I look down at the kitten as I start petting him. I guess I can go with Lev. I smile at Lev when he starts rubbing against my hand. He isn't purring though. I wonder why. He seems happy in my arms and being pet by me. I lifted him up.

"What do you think of the name Lev?" He doesn't really react. He just looks at me. "Well, I guess your name is Lev now." I smile at him as Asaka soon comes out. I set Lev down on my lap. Asaka hands me some coffee.

"There was some coffee left and you seem to like coffee so here you do."

"Thank you." I start drinking the coffee as I play with Lev.

"What did you decide to name him?"

"Lev."

"Is there a reason why?"

"It means lion and he kind of looks like one."

She nods her head. I soon finish the coffee but I start feeling really weak. I go to stand up but then I fall. Asaka catches me. "I'm sorry," is the last thing I hear before passing out.