Volume Five

He was right about that. It's been years since I had an ice cream, it took me even longer to speak better English. Well to be fair any type of language. My father didn't think they speaking any language was good. If it wasn't fighting then it wasn't useful, they didn't bother me not knowing how to speak to anyone one. I spoke to people with my body language, that is how I could communicate with my Dad. That was another way of me not speaking out of tone. I just wanted to be able to have a normal conversation with my father, maybe I was asking too much of him. That wasn't his goal for me. He didn't want a father and son relationship with me, his goal was master and slave. After years of doing what I was told I felt as if maybe I was wasting my talents that my father had showed me. I couldn't perform the same moves as my Father, I couldn't move as fast as he could. Nor could I do the same task that requires amount of strength that he could do. So why does he want to me to become something that I wasn't made for?!, he has to see that I'm not meant for this lifestyle. I'm not giving up on myself I'm just accepting the facts. I want to become great like my father not cause I want to impress him, actually it's the opposite my father was blessed. I want to prove to hard work beats God given talent. I have a long way to go until I achieve that moment, I'm talking all this. Hell I haven't even sparred with anyone yet. Maybe my father could spare with me, no that wouldn't work for him. He would be just wasting his energy on me, he sees me as nothing but a waste of a good nut. Even though he sees me as such he still train's me in the way of him. His training must have been really killer. I'm barely improving on my own, what am I doing wrong. Why am I not improving at all?!. After twelve hours of training with several moments. Such as shin conditioning, punching water so I could get used to being hit in the face. Doing leg sweep's for the last three hours. Drenching in sweat my father Jackson Buster entered the training room. Well he calls it that I call it my room, my home he had entered. This is my territory he has no right to enter my home, I rushed my father with hatred behind my momentum. Of course he wanted me to attack him to see if I had made any type of progression. I went for a double leg takedown, he see it coming so as I came closer to his legs. A size twenty inch kneecap was met by my face. The impact has broken my nose, with also damaging my eye socket. I felt my shull began cracking after the impact. My left eye was causing me to see blood on the left side, that is all I could see. While fading away from my father. He knew that this is his moment to make his move. Before I could fall down In agony, he grabbed me by my hair. I wanted to kick or scream I couldn't make a single noise. I was in his total control, while seeing the DNA of Jackson Buster. His DNA was being wasted on me. How could I be his son we are clearly not in the same league?!, why can't I get any better at Fighting?!. I want him to pay for what he had done to me, the constant nightmares that man had cause me to have. His echo through my ears causing me to hear two versions of him. The right version of him was the version I knew all of my Life, " you've been training for all of your life. But yet you've been stuck in the same place ever since the beginning of your training. Maybe I should have had sex with someone else besides your mother, I thought that maybe having a son. Would give me the chance to continue my legacy. I was wrong you will never be a Fighter. I want you to kill yourself before I see you again!". He was right I haven't made any improvements with my training I was wasting my time and his. I'm sorry mother I couldn't be good enough to see you again, my life doesn't deserve another Chance. So why should I keep going on?!. I have done nothing with my life, training for years yet still a beginner. Why?!,why?!,why?!,why?!.I just want to feel the sweet taste of victory. I can't feel that the way I am now, so what can I do to improve myself. While completing with myself. A side of my father that I've never heard, his voice sound very stunned. " Son I'm glad of your improvement. Think about I remember when you couldn't even look at my way, now your challenging me in combat. So you have made me proud, don't take this to your head you have a long way to go until your abel to defeat me. Until that times come trust me the progress that you made it nothing but a stepping stone for your greatness. Not every time your fail is a failure, the greatest moments come from failure. I know that better than you do. I didn't fall in terms of fighting I failed in terms of being a husband. I can't go back on that mistake!." I was confused on what I was hearing. Why did I hear two versions of my Father?!, also why is this version of my father Gave me hope. That isn't the person I know. Maybe it's cause of my injury. After that moment, that was the last time I heard that version.