26: Scared

Celeste's POV

The pack remained eerily quiet as every house and inch of the pack was inspected. Xavier stood behind me, arm around my waist, as he linked with his warriors to confirm what we already knew. Christopher is gone. The guard to the cellars was found disoriented, saying she was struck on the head and must have passed out. She said as soon as she awoke, she linked her mate who rushed over and investigated, finding Christophers cell empty, shackles picked open. No accompanying scent was found but there was no way he got out on his own. So either it was an inside job or it was one of the scentless rogues. Xavier is extremely upset, his form more tense than mine. A member of his pack got hurt and we believe a rogue made it essentially to the middle of the grounds without detection. His thumb stroked up and down the bare skin at the edge of my shirt and I used those sparks to tether me to sanity. He could be coming after me. He could be working with the rogues now, with Malum. . Some part of me hopes this is an inside job, that way we can weed out the problem without Malum. If I can go my whole life without meeting that monster, I'd be happy. 

Xavier's grip tightens. "His scent was found going west, unaccompanied by any scent but a second set of footprints were found. No one from the pack is missing so those two mean it was definitely a rogue." 

"What do we do? Do we go after him?"

"Yes." He sways on his feet and spins me around to face him. His face is marred with frustration and worry. "Perhaps this is a good chance for us to find where the rogues are banding together. To find Malum." My blood goes cold. I don't want to do that. I think. I- I want to live in a fantasy where my friend is okay. I'm scared of the reality; whatever it may be.

"Are you going to keep the council updated? Maybe now they'll send some support?" I phrase it as a question, knowing asking him about the council is frustrating territory. He says they've been practically the opposite of helpful for all that's going on. It doesn't help that they apparently aren't the easiest people to get a hold of. 

"Only as much as they need to know. Knowing their history, we'd be better off asking the vampire council," he scoffs. I furrow my brows, not knowing anything about that species council. Xavier sees my confusion. "They're known for never lending a hand to another species. Their council is notoriously full of themselves and believe everything they'll ever need can be handled internally." I nod in understanding. He pulls me closer, still swaying us slightly, kissing the top of my head. I nuzzle my nose into his shirt and inhale.

"Is Lesa okay?" I was extremely worried about her the minute I was told Christopher was gone. She wasn't at dinner with us and though I had seen her prior, it had been several hours. Xavier, already seeming to know my train of thoughts or maybe having a similar track of his own, sent Jacob and Josh to go check on her. Zay and Shia went to the cellars to investigate further. Shia told us she sensed no magic in the air, meaning very little possibility of a witch, magi, or faerie being involved. She said that there were some kinds of magic that's sneakier than others but that she's very good at seeing what's there, given her vast experience and long life. 

"She's pretty shaken up. As soon as she's calm, they're going to bring her back here so we can keep an eye on you two." I nod, knowing that makes sense. He pulls me back and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "You are the two most important people in my life, you understand that, right?"

"You're the most important person in my life, Xavier." My words are honest. I'm beginning to love the people in this pack, even the members I don't know too well yet. But he's. . He's Xavier. He's my mate, my other half, my person. Every day I feel as if I'm one foot closer to being in l-

I shake my head to clear the thoughts. Ancillary snickers. Now is not the time.

"Are we still doing the ceremony this weekend?" I hardly think now is the time for big celebrations when there's so much we could be doing.

"Yes," he says quickly. "We won't let such an event ruin your time." I blush. "Besides, this is just as important for our pack than it is for you." Our Pack. My blush deepens. "Spend tomorrow with Zay and Josh, go get that new dress you were thinking about and if you want, a haircut. Though I love your hair as it is now." He takes a couple strands in his hands and softly runs his fingers over it. 

"Maybe just a trim." I blink up at him, a bit of a blush still staining my cheeks.

"I'd love it no matter what," he says with a soft, slow kiss to my cheek. He turns my head to the other side and kisses my other cheek, lips also finding my nose before his lips meet mine. He pulls away far too quickly but I let it end, knowing we have more important matters to attend to right now. "I think I'd feel a lot better if you slept in my room tonight, love." 

"I'd like that," I admit. 

'You'd like more than that,' Ancillary teases. As of late, my dreams have been taking a turn. . Like the minute Xavier kissed me, my mind flooded with what more he could possibly do. I often wake up, drenched in sweat and whimpering. Never fulfilled in some way. Twice I've found myself going to his door, one second away from knocking and asking for something I don't even know. Maybe I should talk to Zay about it. . . 

"Lesa is coming back to the pack house right now. I need to talk with the guys, will you be okay on your own?" I hesitate before nodding. Christopher isn't here. He's gone. That means, at least for tonight, I don't have to worry. 

"I'll be with Lesa," I say. "If she's okay with it."

"Good, I'll have a warrior to guard for you both." I nod. "I need you to go back to training, little one." I nod again, knowing he's right. "We can cut back on your lessons but your self defense skills should improve too." His grip around my waist tightened and I placed a hand on his arm, rubbing my hand up and down in a soothing manner. He nods back towards the door and we left the patio where we had been for the last half hour or so. 

The warmth of the pack house envelopes me, a stark contrast from the approaching winter outside. I take a peek inside the dining room to see the dinner I worked so hard on abandoned on the table, plates still in place like a paused movie scene. The poor salad with homemade dressing is already beginning to wilt. Xavier tugs my hand and we go to the living room. I pull him to the couch, cuddling into him as we wait for everyone to get here. I blink slowly, tiredness beginning to hit me as I lay in the comforting hold of my mate. My head lays against his chest, our legs tangled together as I'm practically in his lap. One of his hands strokes up and down my back while the other holds my head to him. He takes deep breaths and I rest my hand over his heart, feeling it beat steadily. I play with the edge of his shirt with my other hand before he takes the hand on my head and gives it to me, letting me play with his fingers instead. I bring his hand to my cheek and nuzzle in, looking up at him with wide eyes. I've never felt so complete, despite the circumstances happening around us. He leans down and presses his lips to mine, our lips mingling for what both felt like forever and not nearly long enough. His hand on my back trails lower, stopping just below my ass hesitantly. I don't know how to tell him it's okay other than kissing him deeper. I copy what he did just the other night, licking my tongue along the seam of his lips. He groans, his hand finally slipping to my ass and pulling me even closer to him. Our two hands, still connected, tighten their hold on each other as his other hand begins to squeeze my ass. I gasp and his tongue invades my mouth. His shirt is now scrunched in my free hand. He pushes us up and I fall fully into his laps, my legs on either side of his waist. His tongue traces every inch of my mouth, not giving my poor tongue a chance to fight against his. He pulls back, freeing my hand and tilting my chin up. My eyes flutter close, hands going to his shoulders, as his lips hit the corner of my mouth and jaw. He trails his lips down my neck. I gasp as he gets to my collarbone and he growls, grip on my ass tightening. I feel something poking me down there and it sends an aching tingle through my spine. The fog in my head clears just enough to process that it's him and I gasp again, he pulls me closer to him as his mouth begins to suck on just the right spot. My mind swims, hands tightening on his shoulders. His hand leaves my chin, going down to my waist. One wouldn't guess it would be possible to be closer but he pulls me to him, grinding my core down on his hard bulge. I whimper.

"Well damn, Xavier. At least take her virginity in a bed."

My eyes fly open as both of our forms freeze. Xavier growls low in his throat, pulling me close to him as his head whips around to where Jacob, Josh, and Lesa are standing. The boys are chuckling to themself as Lesa looks slightly grossed out. I quickly push myself out of Xavier's hold, a hard task, and go to Lesa. 

"Are you okay?" Her eyes and cheeks are red, as if she's been crying. 

She gives a tight lipped smile. "As okay as I can be." I nod. "And you?" Her hand reaches out and finds mine. I intertwine our fingers and squeeze. 

"I'm having some pretty bad anxiety but you and Xavier are here and that's making it better," I say honestly with a deep breath. I'm trying to get better at the whole "openness" thing. It's hard. 

"We'll be okay." She squeezes my hand again.

"Would you like some company right now or do you want to go to bed?" It was getting pretty late and though I was tired I felt like I was far from falling asleep. 

"This is going to sound silly but can we have a sleepover?" I furrow my brows. A sleepover? "We can have it in the entertainment room? All of us?" She eyes Xavier and the guys. I turn around to Xavier and he shrugs. 

"Whatever you want, little sister." She smiles tightly and excuses herself to the bathroom. Xavier pushes himself up from the couch and comes over to me, pulling me back to him. "The guys and I are going up to my office, Jared should be here soon. We can meet you in an hour?" He phrases it as a question and I nod. "I'll tell Zay and Shia but she's leaving tomorrow so don't be offended if they don't join." I nod again. He kisses the top of my head and leaves for his office, Jacob and Josh trailing behind him. 

I go upstairs, changing into a pair or pajamas and grabbing my blanket. I wrap it around me before dropping it, leaving my room and going to Xaviers. I open the door, peaking into the quiet room. He won't mind. I grab his blanket and head back downstairs for the entertainment room. When I get there, Lesa is with one of the warriors who's moving the couches according to her instruction. When he's done, she gives a satisfied smile and a thank you. "Celeste, this is Carter. Xavier sent him to stand guard outside, though I told him we're fine." She rolls her eyes but gives Carter a soft smile. 

"It's an honor to meet you, Luna." Carter offers me his hand; I place my hand gently in his. 

"It's nice to meet you too, Carter. Thank you for looking after us, though I'm sure Lesa could handle her own even though she shouldn't," I give her a pointed look, "right now." I glance down at her stomach and her hand goes down to rub over her small bump. 

"So it's between Disney's Mulan or Pixar's Soul." I shrug, having no idea what any of that meant.

"I kind of remember Disney?" I give her a 'sorry' look and she shrugs, pressing a few buttons on the remote. I throw Xavier's blanket down on the couch, positioning a few pillows where I want to sit. Zay and Shia walk in, two buckets of popcorn and other snacks in their hands. I smile as Shia dumps the junk food on the table in front of the couch. Zay sets down the popcorn. Lesa presses play on the movie and a castle makes its way on the screen. I settle down into my pile of pillows, wrapping Xavier's blanket around me.

Lesa sits next to me and Zay and Shia sit on her opposite side. Lesa holds her hand out to mine and squeezes once our hands meet. Through the movie, she would squeeze my hands several times. I always gave a tight squeeze back. 

The guys, Jared excluded, and Xavier joined us about a half hour before the movie ended. Xavier smiled at the sight of me cuddled up in his blanket and sat behind me, pulling my form onto his lap as he steals the popcorn from Lesa. The movie ends and Lesa turns on another. And then another. Everyone except us has fallen asleep at this point. Lesa's hand is still in mine, she squeezes again.

"I'm scared, Celeste," she confesses to me quietly.

"Me too," I admit just as quietly. "Me too."