A New Plan

I lifted my eyes and gave a wistful smile, not responding.

He reached out, pulling me closer, and suddenly asked, "What's wrong? You seem distracted today."

I really wanted to ask him why I was his only one. Undeniably, he had been the one consistently offering me help, and he was the only one who could assist me in a meaningful way.

This assistance had, over time, turned into a dependency. Although I wanted to avoid this issue, it was there, lying between Joy and me, creating a rift that left me uneasy and insecure.

But paradoxically, what coexisted with this issue was my fear of losing him. I wasn't sure if it was the dependency or the person himself that I was afraid to lose.

Like today, because I didn't know his true feelings or how he saw me, I felt unhappy.

But I also knew that it was not easy to demand such answers.

"It's nothing, ... maybe I'm just a bit tired!" I evaded, "I want to go back now!"