Make Me Understand

"Val… Val… Valerie…"

I groaned in my sleep and tried to swat away the hands that were shaking me.

"My goddess, Valerie! Aren't you going to wake up? It's already 2 PM."

"2 PM?" I opened one of my eyes and checked my phone in disbelief. It was indeed two already. Did I sleep for a full 8 hours? Wow! The maximum hours of sleep I got these past few months was 4 hours a night, which was a rarity.

"When the hell did you go to sleep last night?" Julia asked while hovering over me.

I rubbed my eyes and smiled guiltily. "At 6 in the morning."

"Oh, dear…" Julia heaved a sigh and looked at me with pity. "You are still suffering from insomnia? Didn't you say you were recovering in your last letter?"

"No, it's not because of that." Julia doesn't need to know I haven't recovered yet. "I was on the phone with Caleb. I didn't realize it was morning already."

"Oh." Julia's facial expression suddenly twisted upon hearing his name. She straightened her back and said as she walked towards the kitchen, "I will heat the food for you. Get freshened up."

I don't know what she's hiding from me, but I decided not to ask unless she took the initiative to reveal it herself.

After freshening up, I went to the kitchen and sat at the small dinner table. She served me a small portion of pasta with a garlicky broccoli side. I took a bite of the broccoli, which surprisingly tasted good. And so did the pasta.

She then surprised me by serving me a slice of banana bread, and a cup of tea. When I gave her a questioning look, she shrugged, "Well, you didn't get up for breakfast, so…"

"Where did you buy these from?" I asked while pointing my fork at all the food on the table.

Julia scoffed and sat down in front of me. "I made it, dumbass!"

"Everything?"

"Everything."

I suspiciously squinted my eyes at her. "You know how to cook and bake now?"

"I live alone! Of course, I know how. I learned… after a lot of trial and error."

"Ah!" I gave her a proud smile because everything tasted good, especially the banana bread–it tasted heavenly. "You gotta teach me the recipe of this banana bread. I love it."

"Sure." Julia rested her chin on her palm and asked, softly smiling at me, "You wanna learn it now?"

"There's no rush. You can teach me when I visit again." Since the portions were small, I was able to finish everything she served.

I then slowly sipped on the tea, preparing myself for what I was about to say next. After finishing it, I wiped my mouth and took a deep breath before blurting out, "I decided to move in with Caleb."

"What?!" Julia suddenly slammed her palms on the table and rose from her seat. The chair fell with a thud, startling me badly. As if I wasn't scared enough, she stared into my soul with her glowing amber eyes and asked in a guttural voice, "You are moving in with him? When?"

I instinctively cowered in fear and gulped. This was the first time I saw her this mad–so mad that her wolf was on the surface. "O-On the 19th," I breathed.

"19th of what?" she asked in a low growl.

A drop of sweat trickled down my armpit as I whispered with my eyes tightly closed, "S-September."

"You're moving in this coming week?"

I felt her hot breath right on my face. She was too close and too angry. Why? Why was she angry? Before I could build the courage to ask her, I heard the sound of things crashing in the living room, and the door slamming shut.

She was gone... just like that.

When I opened my eyes, warm tears trickled down my cheeks uncontrollably. Was it because I was scared of Julia? Or was it because I was hurt? I have no idea.

I don't know how long I sat there in the kitchen, my thoughts spiraling out of control. I jerked back to reality when I heard the door creaking open.

I hurriedly tried to wipe my eyes but my tears had already dried. I quickly lowered my head when I heard Julia's footsteps approaching.

"I'm sorry for losing control earlier," she mumbled apologetically and picked up the chair before dragging it to sit beside me.

"Are you really going to move in with him so soon?"

I'm glad she picked up where we left off because I needed answers. "Yes. Aren't you happy?"

She reached out her hand, placed it on my thigh, and asked softly, "I know he is your mate but aren't you being too impulsive? Shouldn't you wait a few months or years before taking such a huge step?"

I slowly looked at her and couldn't help but speak in an accusing tone, "I thought you would be happy since we would be close to each other again. We will no longer have to wait for weeks or months just to exchange a letter or see each other's face."

"I would have been ecstatic if your mate was someone else." She drew her brows together and slightly tilted her head. "But because it's him, I can't help but get worried for you."

"Then make me understand why you're so worried. I've been asking this to you since yesterday but you simply keep dodging my question." Now that she was calm, I felt confident enough to raise my voice at her.

"I'm dodging because I don't want to hurt your feelings." She held my hand and gave me an earnest look. "Ever since your eighteenth birthday, I haven't seen your genuine smile… until yesterday. You looked so happy when you danced with him. And I don't want to be a bad friend by sowing doubts about your mate."

"You're already doing that by not answering me though." I turned my legs to face her completely, held both of her hands, and pressed her. "What are you hiding from me, Julia? Please spill it out."

"Are you sure?" She raised her brows, still hesitating to answer.

"What is it? Just say it," I retorted impatiently.

"Right. Even if I don't say it, you might eventually hear it from someone else. So, it's better to hear it from me." Julia looked into my eyes and mumbled, "Beta Caleb does not have a good reputation in the pack."

I furrowed. "What do you mean, he doesn't have a good reputation?"

"He is a…"

I gulped and steeled my heart to hear the worst.

"…well-known flirt. To put it bluntly, he has probably fu*ked a quarter of she-wolves in our pack."

Oh, hell! It was worse than the worst thing that I had in my mind. My heart started hammering in my chest, and my breathing got heavier and heavier. I felt a chill spreading from my heart to my entire body. I was feeling faint.

I lowered my head and closed my eyes. And before I could think properly, I asked something that I had been subconsciously fearing all along, "D-Did he sleep with you too?"

"Ew! No!" Julia shrieked and shook off my hand as if she had just touched something disgusting. "I would never sleep with someone like h– Ah… Sorry, no offense to you."

"None taken." I can't explain how relieved I was to hear that Julia was not one of those women, but… Ouch! What was that stinging sensation I just felt in my chest? Why did it hurt so much?

I clutched my chest when I felt that extreme pain again. I couldn't even breathe properly.

"Oh, goddess! Valerie! Are you alright?" Julia held me by my shoulders in panic. "This is why I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would get deeply hurt!"

It took some time for me to finally calm down. I feebly smiled at my worried friend. "It's alright. I'm glad that you told me. I don't know what I would do if I had heard it from some stranger."

"I'm sorry! I really am." Julia leaned over and wrapped me in a tight embrace.

"Don't apologize. You're not at fault."

She looked at me and offered me some advice. "Valerie, I know I shouldn't be saying this but why don't you hold off moving in with him? Get to know him better and see if he treats you well. Sometimes, the fated mates also don't work out. I've seen mates treating each other worse than the enemies."

I nodded, my eyes staring blankly. "You're right. I will talk to him."

Just when I thought the Moon Goddess had finally given me her blessing, I doubted if it was a curse in disguise. I hope that isn't the case.

I don't remember coming to the living room, but I was already holding my phone with a shaky hand and calling Caleb's phone.

"Hey, Valerie!" His voice sounded rough as though he was talking in his sleep.

I gulped dryly. "Um… Hey. Can we meet today?"

"Sure." He cleared his throat and asked, "When shall I come to pick you up?"

"Whenever you're free. I'm at Julia's place."

"Alright. Give me an hour then."

"Okay. See you."

"See y–"

In my tense state, I happened to cut the call while he was still talking. I hope he won't get mad about it. Ugh! Why would he get mad over such a trivial matter? I'm the one who should be mad at him for not waiting until he found me.

I AM mad!