Chapter 53: This Venerable One's Cousin is Certainly Not Very Smart

"Well of course, they all get nicknames, no one gets a pass." Xue Meng appeared to be in quite the good mood, eager to show Chu Wanning the ropes,

"You look pretty young; what are you, five? You must be new to Sisheng Peak then, haven't gotten to know everyone yet. Once you've settled in, you'll find out that the disciples have nicknames for all twenty of the elders." "Oh." Chu Wanning shot him an undecipherable look. "For example?" "Oh man, where do I even start. But it's getting late now and I'm kinda hungry. As thanks for all the pointers you gave me today, I'll take you for a latenight snack down the mountain and tell you over food." Chu Wanning thought for a moment with his head lowered, then smiled and said: "Mn, okay." Xue Meng put away LongCheng and took Chu Wanning's hand, the unknowing disciple and the downsized master walking along the stone steps between the bamboo grove toward the main gate.

"Little bro, what're you called?" Xue Meng asked as they walked.

Chu Wanning answered calmly: "My surname is Xia." "Xia what?" "Xia Sini." [sounds like 'scare you to death']   Xue Meng completely failed to catch on, even happily asking: "That's a nice name. Written with which letters?" Chu Wanning glanced at him sideways with a look reserved for idiots: "...Si as in Disciple Si, Ni as in Disciple Ni[3]. Xia Sini."   "Oooh." Xue Meng, still grinning, kept asking, "And how old are you? Was I right before or what, you can't be older than five?"

"..." Chu Wanning's entire face was dark. Luckily for Xue Meng, he was looking at the road and not his face, or he'd definitely have gotten the scare of his life. "No, the young master guessed wrong. ... I'm six this year." Xue Meng: "Then you're amazingly talented, but not quite as much as I was at your age of course. Anyway, with a bit of guidance, you'll definitely grow up to be outstanding. Say, why don't you quit being Xuanji's disciple? Call me shige,

and I'll go ask my Shizun to take you on as a disciple, how about that?" Chu Wanning managed, with effort, to not roll his eyes: "What did you say for me to call you?" "Shige." Xue Meng, still grinning, bent down and flicked Chu Wanning's forehead, "This is a rare opportunity you know." Chu Wanning's expression was complicated: "..." "What, speechless from overwhelming joy?" Chu Wanning: "..."   The two laughed and chattered as they walked⁠—⁠—at least, Xue Meng thought they were laughing and chattering⁠—⁠—when a voice suddenly came from behind them and ended this line of conversation that might have led to Xue Meng's untimely demise.

"Eh? MengMeng, what are you doing here?" On the entire Sisheng Peak, to have the nerve to call Xue Meng MengMeng[4], who else could it be? Xue Meng started cursing before he was even done turning his head.

"Mo Ran you god damn mutt, call me that one more time and I'll rip out your dog tongue." Sure enough, Mo Ran stood behind them under the clear moonlight, clothes fluttering in the breeze and an easy grin on his face. He was just about to throw a retort to tease Xue Meng some more when he noticed the dainty kid next to him and screeched to a halt: "This is..." Xue Meng pulled Chu Wanning behind him, glowering at Mo Ran: "None of your business."   "Nonono, don't hide him away." Mo Ran circled around and grabbed Xue Meng's hand, pulling Chu Wanning back out and crouching down to give him a careful once-over. He made a questioning noise, muttering, "This kid looks awfully familiar." Chu Wanning, inwardly alarmed: "..." "Feels like I've seen you somewhere before." Chu Wanning didn't like where this was going; if he got busted here, how would he ever face anyone ever again? He took a subconscious step back and turned to run.

"Hold it!" Mo Ran grabbed him with a mischievous grin, then reached out and playfully swiped his nose and said in a soft voice, "Come, little didi, tell gege your name?" The nose that just got swiped felt oily; awkward and self-conscious, Chu Wanning kept trying to back away.

Mo Ran thought he was scared, and laughed as he said, "What're you hiding for, be good and tell gege, is your name Xue?"

Xue Meng: "???" Mo Ran pointed at Xue Meng and asked, smiling, "Is he your papa? Tell the truth, this gege will buy you candy."   "What's your problem Mo Weiyu!!" Xue Meng exploded, face bright red feathers all ruffled, "Wh-wh-wh-what the hell are you thinking?! Y-you're despicable! F-f-filthy! Sh-shameless!" Chu Wanning was also speechless for a while, but secretly felt somewhat relieved: "...My surname is Xia, Xuanji Elder's disciple, Xia Sini." "Scare you to death?" Mo Ran caught the meaning immediately and his eyes curved into slivers of amusement, "Haha, how interesting." "..." "Seriously, what's wrong with you!" Xue Meng shoved Mo Ran away and said angrily, "He's my new friend, butt out already. We're going for a late night snack,

out of the way."   "Okay." Mo Ran moved out of the way, but then fell into step next to them,

grinning and swaggering.

Xue Meng roared at him: "What do you think you're doing?" "I want a bite to eat too." Mo Ran said innocently, "What, am I not allowed?" Xue Meng: "..." Wuchang Town.

This small town had once been infested with all manners of ghosts and ghouls, but thanks to the founding of Sisheng Peak nearby, it gradually regained its peace over the years, and could even be called lively these days.

It was late enough that the night market was already open. The group walked past the many stalls on the sides of the road and picked a gudong soup [hotpot/shabu-shabu] place, taking their seat at a low wooden table in the outdoor area.

"Gudong soup" uses a pot propped over a stove, with the fire burning while eating. The broth is generally very spicy; fresh, raw ingredients are placed on the table and dipped into the boiling broth to be cooked at the time of eating. It was called gudong soup because of the 'gudong' sound of food being tossed into the broth.

This was a famed dish of the ChuanShu province, but Chu Wanning only ate it with clear broth free of peppers; anything spicy made him choke.

Xue Meng was born here, and Mo Ran had grown up around XiangTan; both of them were used to spicy food, and naturally assumed that 'Xia Sini' could also handle it.

When they sat down to order, Xue Meng called out a bunch of dishes with familiarity, and added: "With extra peppers and chili oil in the broth." But Chu Wanning suddenly tugged on his sleeve and said quietly: "I want a twin pot." "Wha?" Xue Meng thought he had misheard.

Chu Wanning's expression was dark: "Twin pot, half spicy half mild." Xue Meng: "...You aren't from here?" "Mn."

"Ah." Xue Meng nodded in understanding, but there was surprise in his eyes as he glanced at Chu Wanning, "To have left your home at such a young age, it's really so... sigh, nevermind." He sighed and turned to the waiter, "Alright, twin pot then." But there seemed to be a hint of resistance in Xue Meng's tone.

Soon enough, he found that he indeed was not imagining things, that Xue Meng really was reluctant to just accept it, fussing incessantly as they waited for their food: "Shidi, when in ChuanShu, do as the ChuanShu people do⁠—⁠—you gotta learn to eat spicy foods. How're you gonna get buddy buddy with people when you go out if you don't eat spicy? You don't have to know the local dialect,

but spicy food is non-negotiable. Oh yeah, where are you from, anyway?" Chu Wanning: "LinAn." "Oh." Xue Meng mulled it over, but knew little and less of that southern region, so he asked while nibbling on the tips of his chopsticks: "Do you guys eat rabbit heads over there?" Before Chu Wanning could even respond, Mo Ran had already piped up from the side with a smile: "Of course not." Xue Meng shot him a glare, and Chu Wanning also looked over at him.

Mo Ran had a foot up on the wooden bench and an arm propped casually on his knee as he skillfully twirled the chopsticks in his hand. Seeing their reactions,

he grinned and tilted his head: "What? Why the look, they really don't eat that."   Xue Meng turned to ask Chu Wanning: "Is that true?" "Mhm." Xue Meng went back to glaring at Mo Ran: "How did you know that? You been there?" "Nope." Mo Ran pulled a funny face, "But Xia-xiong and our Shizun are from the same place, don't you even know that Shizun doesn't eat rabbit head? When he picks cold dishes at Mengpo Hall, it's either tofu with scallion or sweet osmanthus lotus root, look for yourself next time if you don't believe me." Chu Wanning: "..." "Ah, I guess I never really paid attention before. I haven't had the guts to look at what's in Shizun's plate ever since that one time I saw his breakfast, too scary." Xue Meng rubbed his chin and let the distaste show on his face,

"Shizun's tastes are really beyond words. Did you know? He actually eats savoury tofu pudding."   Chu Wanning: "..." As he spoke, Xue Meng actually turned toward him and said, sincerely and with the utmost importance: "Little shidi, definitely, absolutely, do not take after Yuheng Elder, or no one will want to eat with you. Remember, rabbit head and spicy foods are both mandatory, and when you have tofu pudding for breakfast,

do not eat it with savoury sauce." "Don't forget about the seaweed and dried shrimp." Mo Ran added.

"Right, seaweed and dried shrimp too." It was a rare instance of Xue Meng and Mo Ran uniting against a common enemy. "Absolutely unacceptable." Chu Wanning looked at the pair of idiots, face devoid of expression: "Oh."

Their dishes came in short order: fresh and crispy bamboo shoots, vividly green cabbage, tender tofu, succulent fillets of fish, thinly sliced rolls of lamb neatly piled on a porcelain plate, meat fried to a crunchy gold and sprinkled with cumin and pepper flakes, and a jar of freshly made soy milk on the side, the little table creaking under the weight.

Food brings people together, especially a lively meal like gudong soup; a couple plates of lamb and a few cups of soy milk later, even Xue Meng and Mo Ran's strained relationship became more relaxed in the thick steam, at least for the time being.

Xue Meng scoured the spicy broth with his chopsticks: "Oi oi, where's the brain I put in here?" "Isn't it attached to your neck?" Mo Ran laughed.

"I meant the pig brain!" Mo Ran bit his chopstick with an impish grin: "Mhm, that's the one." "You god damn mutt dare insult me——" "Oh hey! Your brain floated up! Time to eat!" Xue Meng walked right into his trap in a moment of excitement, yelling: "Put your dog paw away! Don't even think about stealing it, that's my brain!" Chu Wanning sat on his little stool, leisurely drinking his jar of sweet soy milk while watching the brats bicker. He was in no hurry; the entire mild side of the pot was all his.

He finished the soy milk and licked his lips as if wanting more. Mo Ran saw and asked with a smile: "Does little shidi like it?" Chu Wanning took a moment to digest the fact that he was just called 'little shidi' and internally calculated the possibility of making him not do that, only to arrive at the conclusion that his chances are practically zero, so he could only reply dryly: "Mn, it's not bad." So Mo Ran turned toward the waiter: "Excuse me, another jar of soy milk for my shidi here."   And so Chu Wanning contently began drinking a second jar.

He had always loved sweets, but he got a cavity from eating too many pastries before, and Tanlang Elder had to go to quite the trouble to restore it for him. Since then, Chu Wanning has refrained from overindulging in sweets for the sake of his thin face.

Being stuck as a kid had the unexpected benefit of letting him eat all the sweets he wanted.

Mo Ran watched him eat with his cheek propped in a hand: "Your tastes are just like Shizun's." Chu Wanning choked a little but managed to maintain his placid expression:

"...Is shixiong talking about Yuheng Elder?" "Yup." Mo Ran nodded with a smile as he pushed a steamer basket toward Chu Wanning, "Try this. I think you'll like it too." Chu Wanning picked up a leaf-wrapped steamed bun from the bamboo steamer and took a small bite; warm steam gushed out from the bun, and inside the soft, glutinous wrapper was a sweet bean paste filling.

"Do you like it?"   Chu Wanning took another bite before nodding: "Mn." Mo Ran smiled: "Then have some more." The three of them chatted while eating. Chu Wanning suddenly remembered the earlier subject, and, after finishing his fourth bun, asked Xue Meng with feigned nonchalance: "By the way, young master, you mentioned earlier that every elder has a nickname. If my Shizun Xuanji Elder is called the Rubbish King, then what's Yuheng Elder's nickname?"    

Author's Notes:

The yin yang pot thing comes from that joke "How to tell when a Sichuanese person is utterly disappointed in you", the following is abridged with the characters from this novel.

How to tell when the young master of Sisheng peak is utterly disappointed in you?

Xue Ziming: Okay, yin yang pot then yin yang pot it is.

How to tell when elder Yuheng is utterly disappointed in you?

Chu Wanning: Sure, no sugar then no sugar it is.

How to tell when the little handsome Shi-Ge from Sisheng Peak is utterly disappointed in you?

Shi Mingjing: Aye...okay, looks feminine then looks feminine it is.

How to tell when LinYi Rufeng Sect's Ye Gong-Zi is utterly disappointed in you?

Ye Wangxi: Unseen then unseen it is.

How to tell when Kunlun Taxue Palace Elder Shixiong is utterly disappointed in you?

Mei Hanxue: Heh heh, like above then like above it is.

How to tell when this novel's main character is utterly disappointed in you?

Mo Weiyu: Hmph! Big scumbag then big scumbag it is.

Meatbun: … Hang on, looks like someone from above is giving up?

[3] Chinese is a highly contextual language and many characters are pronounced the same, so usually you use the character in a word to specify which one it is. Here CWN essentially bullshits XM with "Si like a disciple named Si, Ni like a disciple named Ni" and XM just, accepts it,

[4] 萌萌 chinese equivalent of 'moemoe'