Chapter 2

As sat before him, I caught a look that set me on edge, something was very wrong. Over the years I have been instructed to control my thoughts and expressions as well as read Master as well as the other members of the team without words to know what they were planning on doing next. Based on what I was reading this was a time to listen and observe the Master.

"Jennifer I have the most important mission and your team it is one of the biggest ones you have ever been sent on. You will be leaving tomorrow and I will be following along on this one. Pack your belongings and be prepared." His eyes shifted and knowing that was my cue to be dismissed I stood and headed to leave the room without a word. Before I opened the door, I looked over my shoulder and asked, "Master may I ask where we are going?"

"We are going to the court." With those words my hand froze on the handle, my breath was taken away and my heart was racing in my chest. It was like a bomb just exploded and stood in the path of the shock wave. Master noticed my misstep and asked "Is there a problem Jennifer?"

I quickly regained composure and tuned the rest of the way looking directly in Master’s eyes and assure him that I would be ready, "No Master, not at all."

From there it’s a blur. I have no recall of how I made it back to my room. All I could think about is that I was finally going home. Searing pain began rippling through my body. My chest was on fire, the sound around me was muffled. As I neared my door my thoughts raced about, I was barely able to move. Will they recognize me? Will I run into him? Will I see them again? What will they say? Was I ever in their thoughts? The most painful sharp stab pierced my heart again reminded me of him. No, Jennifer forget about him! I scolded myself. He didn´t want you. He used only your body, sought pleaser from your gift of virtue and in the end rejected you without cause. The emotions that are locked deep with the reaches of my soul that have been tightly incased in ice are threating to break loose and I am struggling to breathe. It’s been a while since the walls and barriers were weakened. I was being overwhelmed by these feelings. The ache is beyond words. It hurts so bad I want to crumble with a think the need to feel, to want…it hurts so much. At that moment, I was about to crumble to the ground being lost to memories as Ivan arms surrounded me. I didn’t want his touch any touch as he held me. It hurts more to know never again, never his, never to be. Ivan’s grip never let go, he held me as I struggled to regain control and pull myself back together. Oh why could he not be more than what he is? Why!?

Ivan has an uncanny way about himself. He always knows what is on my mind. Without him I wouldn´t survive this long. He is a huge part of why I can stand here today and move past the memories. Ivan thought me everything he could, skills to survive, to clear myself of the haunting memories. He became part of my world and my existence. He has become more than just part of the team we meet each other’s basic needs but know it will never be more. We are bonded by the Warrior’s creed and specially joined as family but to feel is to die. This is how it works in a Warrior’s world: no love, no marriage and no attachment. We could be killed anytime and being consumed by a loss will destroy you on a mission.

Do not get me wrong, we are furiously protective of each other and protect what is ours. Master is adamant that we all stay true to that one code regardless of anything else we are family but we have a job to do. Ivan came to Master when he was only 16 years old. Rogues had killed his mate as he fought to protect her and he went nuts after he watched the last breath leave her chest. He became consumed with the rage and killed anyone who came near him. When Master found him, Ivan was feral and lost to blood lust. He had lost his humanity to numb the pain due to loss of his mate the emptiness that existed, Ivan destroyed everything and no longer cared, she was gone and there was nothing left, he was alone forever. Master gave him two options, he could join the academy or to be exterminated. He offered Ivan another way to exist a way to regain control over the monster the lives inside. Ivan is a power all unto himself. Few can challenge him; even the other Warriors outside our team avoid him. Once Ivan told me that he choose Master because this way he can still kill some bastards and that was enough for him in the end. He could live again but never the same as he had been.

Pulling me back from my thoughts, Ivan spoke softly, "Jennifer I know it´s hard and know that I´ll always be here for you. Remember no matter your choices I will remain at your side. I can promise you nothing more but you are not alone I will always be there for you." In that moment he held my eyes with his own as I raised my hand to touch the scar he got that faithful day. It runs from his right eye down his cheek ends down on his throat. As my fingers caressed his scar, Ivan closed the distance and kissed me with fierce passion. Oh yeah, that was exactly what I needed right now, something to distract me, to help forget, something to erase the ache in my heart. Ivan has the power to remove the ache inside. He can cloud my mind from sorrow and torture of living without my mate. I reached up and grasped his flowing locks of dark brown hair and pushed him onto my bed. I need him right now.