Chapter 3

After Ivan left my room, the thoughts filtered back to my consciousness. I was on my own again and I was feeling suffocated once again. I opened the window and allowed the cold Siberian air to filter inside my room. Within seconds, all the warm air was chilled to the point of freezing. The frost nipped at my flesh as I leaned against the window and gazed up in the sky. Turing my body and heart back to frozen waste land of existence.

The moon was set high in the sky and stars were scattered across the sky. How many times I have gazed to the sky and watched the view and thought about them my family, friends and mate. How many times I wished that special wish when I saw a falling star. A wish to be found, allowed home and to be loved but it never came true. That myth about wishing on falling stars another lie given to youth and innocents to keep hope alive. I however am no longer that innocent young girl. Now I am a killer. I destroy given targets and no longer see the world through innocence. She was sold out, sold by the devil himself. This existence I live, this loss I feel, can be directly pinpoint to one person. A person, who I thought loved me, loved me beyond limits. How foolish was I? I believed him when he said it would make me better, stronger, and perfect for my mate. I believed him, when he said I would be sent to a boarding school for just two years. That before I knew it, I would be home better skilled and able to help my mate. How stupid I was. How foolish could I have been? I just did not know then what life had in store. I knew his secret a past and fear so strong he tried to be rid of me. This secret will destroy more than him, once it comes out it will be the end.

*Flashback*

"Why do I need to go? Clarynn, didn´t go to boarding school even Joshua didn´t go. Why do I need to go? It doesn´t seem right. Tomorrow is mating announcement for prince, I need to be there with him so they will see who his mate is." My tears were streaming down my cheek. My voice was hoarse from crying. "Please, think about it, please don´t do that to me."

"Enough Jennifer, you will be sent away it’s only for two years honey and then you will be back. You will be stronger, better and able to be a perfect mate for our prince. It´s only for two years, you will see, it will go fast and in no time you will be back home. Then the prince will announce you, don´t worry about that." He looked me with the same green eyes we share. I couldn´t read anything from his expression and just hope he is right. I don’t want to go.

"Please, I won´t tell anyone. Please, I will be a good girl just don´t send me away. Trust me; I need to be with my mate I need to be near him. Please don’t make me leave. What did I do wrong?" I tried one last time for him to change his mind with tears rolling down my cheek. But I knew better, he never changed his mind, he always did what he wants to do. I should know better than trust him.

He wrapped his arms around me with a forceful hug; little did I know it would be my last as he whispered in my ear, "Jennifer I want to do what is best for you, you need to trust me darling." I sobbed on his chest a little longer and held tightly. Then he released me and kissed me on my forehead before he said, "Go now and pack your belongings. In the morning you need to wake up earlier, you will leave before daybreak." I didn´t have strength to say anything, I just nodded and turned away. Before my hand I touched the door, he called me so I slowly turned part of my body around when he said, "Jennifer, you know I love you honey, remember that always. I love you." His eyes were blank and appeared to be clouded over with expression I could not understand.

"I love you too, daddy." I whispered back.

*End of Flashback*

I should know better but I was so naive then. Why should I not have trusted the one person who should never hurt me? He betrayed me his own flesh and blood, my own father, it is just wrong. How could he? Why was I not important enough to protect? These are the thoughts that constantly haunt me when I am alone. The quiet of the night can be a scary place; it is when I am the weakest. I stood there in the chill of the room not realizing I was shaking all over. This is not due to the cold it is from the soulful cries of my heart due to the betrayal and harm from love. He was my father for God sake; he should have protected me from anything and everything including himself. But what he did was to sell me the first opportunity he encountered where my fate most likely resulted in death. To a place that I would never come back and never return, those were his wishes and plans when he made me leave those many moons ago. My fist were clenching as the rage started to rise up from the depth of my soul, my vision became red and blurred as my canines elongate. They penetrated my lips and I could taste my own blood as they slid through flesh of my lips. Oh how I long to taste the blood of those who have betrayed me and left me to die. Loud raging growl vibrated from the deepest of my chest as I cried for vengeance and peace.

Through the haze, my mind was touched penetrating my dark thoughts as Master kept trying to come forward, "Jennifer! Enough, calm down now, that is an order!"

However in this state I could not find the ability to obey my Master’s command. I let out a loud scream and throw the first thing near me across the room as I fell to my knees. Tears streamed down my cheek as I cried in agony. It has been a very long time since I released any emotion. I kneeled in the frost that had formed in the room. I don’t know how long I knelled there but my joints began to stiffen. I screamed as every ounce of pain I had locked up flooded my senses and consumed me. I cried for my childhood, I cried for injustice, and I cried for the loss of myself.

As I lost control and seeped with sadness, I felt Master stroke my soul. He begged me to take a deep breath and calmed down; knowing that the presence of anyone in this state would mean instant death. He soothed the beast inside and tamed the monster that I have become, the feral monster the Warrior without a conscious. Master’s presence wrapped me in a cocoon of warmth and love. He whispered promises that justice will prevail and that in time they would pay for their crimes. He held me in my mind as a father holds a wounded child. He did not abandon me in time of need he made me believe and want to live. As time passes he was able to get me back to myself and I thanked him for never leaving my side even when I failed him again. I had to remember that they weren´t worth it, nobody was worth my tears and my sorrow no longer did I need to fear. I stood and walked to the window and closed it as the last tear slid down my cheek to my chest. I could feel the moisture seeping into my being. As Master stepped out of my thoughts he reminded me again that justice will find a way to punish them for all that they have done and that nobody can escape from God´s justice, not even a werewolf or a king.