7

Chapter 7: six: bonds of blood and waterSummary:

These bonds, she thinks, are just the tip of the iceberg.

Notes:

Aaah thank you so much for your kind words and your constant support! It really means a lot!!

I do not own Naruto.

(The amount of research I put into this chapter is insane, but it was so much fun. I now know how to kill someone in many ways, and possibly get away with it.)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Becoming a Hokage 101

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Second Section

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Chapter Six

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I must admit I used to frown and wrinkle my nose at kunoichi classes, but if you stop to think about it, they're actually a very cool thing.

"Pay great attention to the hemlock and learn how to recognize it. The entire plant is poisonous, and a handful of its leaves are fatal if eaten. Can anyone tell me what is its pathological mechanism?" Uzuki Yugao, a small purple-haired girl, raises her hand. Kohaku-sensei, our teacher for kunoichi classes, nods at her.

"Yugao?"

"The hemlock's poison is a myotoxin. It causes a gradual weakening of the muscles until they finally deteriorate." Hyuga Kohaku, who also happens to be Rin's medic-nin sensei, nods satisfied.

"That is correct. The hemlock is a powerful myotoxin, but it takes up to thirty minutes to affect a person's muscles, and death may occur in the course of several hours."

Next to me, Rin raises her hand. "Kohaku-sensei, isn't there a bird who can eat it?"

"Yes, there is. The quail eats the plant's seeds, but it is immune to the poison. Do you think eating the flesh of the bird is safe?" After a pause, in which none of the ten girls present know the answer to the question, I raise my hand.

"No, sensei. If the bird eats the seeds, then it digest its contents and the nutrients are distributed thorought its body. Someone could die in an 'accident' because they ate the bird's flesh."

Our Hyuga sensei nods, content with my answer, and gives me a nod. "Very good, Chiyuki. Now you girls know how to kill someone and make them suffer thorought it, with the added bonus of having low chances of being caught."

I could only imagine how this kind of class would look like Before. Teaching six year olds how to kill with poison and get away with it would be simply outrageous, but Here they are merely giving us, future kunoichi, more options and more chances to survive in a still male-dominated world. It's a cruel, but cool thing.

"Kohaku-sensei," another girl asks, this time an Uchiha called Makoto, "isn't there an antidote?"

To which the female ninja shakes her head. "There is none."

And for better effect, she lets the sentence hang in the air, until the bell rings and we're dismissed from our final class of the day.

I take my time gathering my notes, messy scrawls of all the types of poisonous plants we've learnt today. Many of the plants are the same from Before, but there are also many that used to be completely safe for me, and now aren't. The antidote system is also new, and entirely fascinating to me; Before, a lot of the antidotes were obtained from horses. They used to inject a small quantity of venom into the animal, enough to create antibodies but not enough to kill or make it suffer. Here, only medic-nin are allowed to treat poisons, because it involves a mix of chakra manipulation and a knowledge of the right herbs that's very particular and specific – and everything is done directly on the patient.

"Chiyuki-senpai." I turn around and see Yugao's young face staring right at me. I don't remember much of her, but I know she entered ANBU at a very young age, like Kakashi did, and that she was a loyal and sensible kunoichi of the Leaf. She was also very cute when she called me senpai, and a very well-behaved child.

"Yes, Yugao?" I smile at her, noting how she seems to fidget minutely and keeps glancing every so often at Rin, who's just about finished gathering her own things and is waiting patiently for me.

"...I was wondering if I could study for tomorrow's test with you and Rin-senpai, if you don't mind." I glance at Rin, who smiles widely and gives me a nod, and I mimic the action to Yugao.

"Sure, we don't mind." Putting my backpack over my shoulder, I motion for the girls to follow me, and we start the familiar trek to Yukari's teashop, our go-to study place and makeshift library.

"Do you like studying about poisons as well, Yugao-chan?" Rin asks conversationally, keeping the smaller girl between both of us. We soon reach the main street, thankfully not very busy at this time of the day, and as we pass by an Akimichi restaurant, I glimpse the Ino-Shika-Cho trio and nod respectfully. Just because I would rarely see them around my father's office, doesn't mean we're total strangers, and one day they would be my subordinates. Hopefully.

"I do. I think it's the most interesting subject we've studied so far in kunoichi classes." I hum in agreement, idly playing with the ball inside my hoodie's pocket.

"I agree. Poisons and venoms are fascinating." My best friend snorts, and the purple-haired girl between us looks adorably confused.

"Of course you'd like it, Chi. It's the subtlety of it, isn't it?" I grin at her, amazed at how well the girl knows me. She's already a force to be reckoned with.

"You know me too well, Rin." She giggles, and I swear my crush on her gets bigger every time she does.

"Sub-subtlety?" The younger girl asks just as we reach the teashop, with only a handful of off-duty shinobi in it. Hikari greets us warmly, quickly leading us to our usual table in the back, which is soon filled with snacks, green tea and notes all over it.

Hikari is Sasakibe-oji's daughter, and she runs the family's tea shop along with Yukari, his wife. It's a quaint little thing that was built especially for shinobi to have a place to sit and relax without having to worry too much about exists and fight strategies. The smell of the place, familiar as my own house by this point, is a pleasant mix of baked goods and dried tea leaves that relaxes my tense shoulders as soon as we sit down. Yukari someway manages to get some very high quality leaves and leaves them to dry herself with some super secret family technique, and I have yet to find a place that sells tea this delicious. She and Hikari manage to get the very best out of every leaf, only fueling my ever growing love for tea Here.

"Subtlety is one of our greatest allies, Yugao. Often enough, untraceable deaths aren't the most bloody, violent ones, but the most mysterious. How long would it take for people to figure out that someone died from hemlock poisoning after eating a common bird for dinner?"

Rin is completely used not only to how quickly my mind jumps from one thought to another, but also the sheer coldness that accompanies it sometimes; Yugao however, looks completely baffled, face scrunched up in an adorable frown.

"So, deaths need to be mysterious?" I hum while munching on some dango, wondering how I'm gonna answer this child. The brunette in front of me, thankfully, saves the day yet again.

"Sometimes, Yugao-chan, you don't want anyone to find out you were behind it, while at other times you want everyone to know that it was you. It depends on your goal, and why you killed that person."

Once more, the sheer absurdity of it strikes me. Here are three small, pretty girls discussing the dynamics of murder in broad daylight, in a public place. I stifle a snort.

'How the tables have tabled. The me from Before would be horrified, no doubt.'

"So... I can also use poison to kill someone and have everyone know about it?" I blink twice, turning wide eyes to the child sitting next to Rin. Well, now I know how she got into ANBU so early. I had seen Yugao on screen once, at the beginning of the series, but I had no idea of what her abilities were. Maybe she would turn out to be a poison expert inside ANBU, with how fast she catches up on things.

"That's right." I try to recover quickly, successful after a sip of jasmine tea. "If you really want to make a scene, you can use the poison found in spitting scorpions, which can cause convulsions up to thirty seconds even after the person is dead. Those are mostly common in Suna, but there's a species that live near the border between Fire and Wind. Even though they're rare, they're not that difficult to get a hand of."

Rin nods, taking a sip of her own tea. "Yup. What's more, some poisonous reptiles, as well as a few species of caterpillars, can only be found within Konoha's dense forests, and a common effect of their poison is brain damage, since a lot of them are neurotoxins. There are plant-based antidotes for it all over Fire country, of course, but if you use it against a foreign shinobi, their prognostic will look very grim."

Like two villains, Rin and I look at each other and burst out laughing, which only makes Yugao even more confused. Poison is our favorite subject out of all things we've learnt in the academy so far, and since she's on her way to become one hell of a medic-nin, it wouldn't hurt to know a few things about some of the deadliest poisons there are. Here, there's no such thing as cyanide or arsenic, but in contrast there are that many more toxic plants.

As for me? Well, the topic is interesting, no doubt, and it's one of my favorites, but ever since the beginning of our second year in the academy the topic has opened doors I didn't even know existed. If I had been worried about dirtying my hands and spilling blood on them, now that wasn't that much of a concern anymore. Sure, I would still have to carry the weight of all those lives forever, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make; much cleaner, less violent deaths somehow took the worst of the act of killing and put my heart at ease, if only slightly. Besides, the plan was to use the dragon persona – the mask – to kill, and I hoped from the bottom of my heart it would be enough to make me feel like less of a monster.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will have to kill hundreds and order people to kill even more, but it doesn't mean I'll ever be okay with it.

Yugao leaves shortly after, surprising the both of us when she asks if we can all study together again some time again. Rin and I agree, and after short, giggly goodbyes, I'm left alone with my friend once again, but Uzuki's departure makes the atmosphere more somber. As soon as the younger child is out of earshot, Hikari comes by with more snacks and tea for us, though Rin only accepts the drink.

"How's Kakashi-kun?" She asks after a while, poison notes forgotten right under her nose. I sigh, no doubt sounding much older than I actually am – even counting the extra years.

I would never be able to thank Rin enough for her selfless and kind friendship, and how she never seemed to push or pressure me despite always taking the band-aid off my wounds at once, without preamble. After Sakumo's death, two weeks ago, we both became that much closer to one another, for a number of reasons. Kakashi was still living with us, yes, and we still shared a room, but more often than not I ended up walking on eggshells around him, and that pissed off both of us. His dad's death was still too raw for him, even though he would always insist he was fine. He was slowly becoming colder and more distant, and I had no idea what to do.

Besides, Rin could be my friend in a way that Kakashi would never be. Female physiology aside, Rin saw me for who I really was: my mind was too bright to be considered average, but in no way was I a genius. When kunoichi classes began, the brunette approached me with open curiosity and a tint of admiration, but she didn't mince her words around me, and that's the thing - Rin doesn't care about Sarutobi Chiyuki. She just cares about Chiyuki, and that's just.

Well.

I didn't realise how starved I was for this kind of recognizement until I started to let other people in.

It's scary, sure, but it's also liberating in a way I hadn't ever considered. I had been too careful of my social mask, building and fixing the cracks as I went, and had completely ignored the pure friendship people could offer me.

It's a mistake I'm not going to make twice.

"He's better. Recently, Tooru-nii has sparred with him between missions, and even though he always loses I think it's good for the both of them, if only to let off some steam." My friend nods, understanding, but going straight for the kill.

"And how are you two?" I groan, slumping in my chair and chomping sulkily on a strawberry daifuku, looking and acting like the miserable six year old I am.

"We're... better, I suppose. I've stopped measuring my words around him, but it still feels stifled, like we're both strangers." I sulk openly, not bothering to hide how upset I am with this entire thing. It's Rin, after all. She would never make fun of me for something like this.

The girl reaches across the table and grabs my unoccupied hand in hers, squeezing it and giving me a comforting look. I manage to force a smile, which comes out more like a grimace, and squeeze her hand back.

"It's just, it upsets me, you know? I've know him for half my life Rin, and we're six . He was the first one to believe and support me when I said I wanted to be hokage, and we spent so much time together, and it felt like we always had so much to say to each other and now it feels awkward to just stand in the same room." It all leaves me in a rush; all the frustrated tears I refused to let loose, all the apologies I still wanted him to accept, all the unhealthy compartmentalization I'd done in the past few weeks.

I'm hurt and I'm worried and I'm frustrated, but I'll be damned if I don't fix it.

'Ah. There's really no turning back, huh? You've really gone and gotten attached to these people.'

The brunette nods, still holding my hand, with a pained expression. "I know you're hurting, and I know how difficult things are right now, but you need to talk to him, Chi." She pauses, looking around the shop pointedly before I catch the hint; a quick scan of the place tells me we're the only clients within it, and no employee is within hearing distance. I nod for her to continue.

"You probably know more about this than me, but Kohaku-sensei said war is approaching, and soon." I bite my lip, agreeing with her. Father had said the same thing a few weeks ago, and that it was inevitable. We would soon be forced to graduate much earlier than expected, and although we aren't going to be sent to the frontlines any time soon, the thought of a war between all the shinobi nations is still terrifying. Still, I have received her message loud and clear.

'Talk things out before it's too late.'

"Yeah, I know. Kakashi does, as well. The timing just never seems to be right."

"Then make your own timing." I blink, startled, then sit straighter in my seat, barely acknowledging Yukari when she comes by with more tea.

Well, that's another look at things. If we're awkward around each other all the time, then it shouldn't matter when I decide to talk to him, right?

I nod, feeling more determined and motivated, and get up from my seat.

"Rin, do you mind?" The girl gives me a knowing and proud smile, then shakes her head. She even makes a shooing motion with her hands.

"Not at all, Chi. Go make things right, I'll see you tomorrow." I can't help but hug her around the shoulders, feeling and hearing her giggles as she returns it.

Then, I'm off.

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I find Kakashi easily after quickly checking our clan's lands, and a wry smile forms on my lips when I see him sitting in our house's veranda, looking like the picture of calmness as he reads a fuinjutsu scroll – the same one I'd begun my studies on the matter with, and that he found easy, infuriatingly enough.

"Kakashi." I call out as soon as he's within hearing distance, and the boy blinks before putting the scroll down, looking at me with half-lidded eyes. He doesn't say anything, but from the way he doesn't go back to his studies immediately tells me he's figured it's time we talk.

"Do you want to go grab your stuff?"

For the past couple of weeks, the only survivor of the Hatake clan has been living with us with the bare minimum for his survival; until last week, he'd refused to go back to the apartment he shared with his dad, denying any kind of money or possession Sakumo had left him, including the ryo on his bank account. Perhaps it had been his way of copying, of admitting to himself that his father was really gone.

After a few seconds of pondering, he nods and rolls the scroll back, putting it back on the room we share and placidly putting his sandals on. Even though things still feel a little awkward, this first step already makes me feel like it's not gonna be this way for long, which makes me feel both anxious and hopeful at the same time.

We walk in silence for ten minutes, an unspoken agreement between us to avoid the busiest streets, choosing instead to reach his former house through alleys and smaller streets. None of us is in the mood for iddle chats and glances of pity. Soon enough, we reach the complex Sakumo and his son lived in, and the boy opens the door with ease. Very few things have been touched or cleaned, mostly the blood on the floor and the fridge that had been emptied, and a thick layer of dust seems to cover the entire house.

Kakashi goes straight to his room without a word, but I pause on the living room. My chest hurts when my mind starts to play tricks on me; it's like I can still feel Sakumo's chakra signature here, which is just ridiculous. No chakra lingers that long in one place, even if the person lived here. Slowly, I walk over to their bookshelf, finding bitter amusement in the fact that the cacti he owned are still alive. Neither of the boys had been an avid reader, but Sakumo had a very interesting book collection, mostly on kenjutsu and different types of swords, although there were also scrolls on fire and lightning ninjutsu and, to my complete amusement, a couple of gardening books – obviously meant for beginners.

The sight makes me snort just as my silver-haired friend comes back from his room with a bag slung over his shoulders, and for a second he looks puzzled until he figures out what I'm laughing at, huffing in the process.

"He never managed to make a plant survive for longer than a month. He even killed the cacti we had. I don't know how those are still alive." His dry tone makes me bark out a laugh, the sight clear in my head: Hatake Sakumo, Konoha's White Fang and a feared shinobi considered to be in the same league as the Sannin, despairing over the murder of his plants.

"I remember father mentioning he had given Sakumo-oji a very strong cactus from Suna, which was supposed to survive under extreme conditions." This time, my friend joins me in my snorting, leaving his bag on the dusty couch and standing next to me.

"He killed that one in two weeks." This time, I can't hold back a laugh, being able to see Sakumo's pout clearly. Idly, I notice the boy next to me has relaxed his posture, and I dare think we're almost back to normal.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi." I blurt out, inwardly hitting myself for being so tactless. He turns impossibly dark eyes to me, and not for the first time I can't read the look in them. He takes a few seconds to reply, but they feel like minutes.

"Why do you still feel guilty?" I lick my suddenly dry lips, wondering how I'm gonna explain this.

"I... don't know, to be honest. I feel like I should have been able to do something." To my surprise, he snorts and crosses his arms, but a quick look at his chakra tells me he's not being ironic or angry, just annoyed at me.

"I get that you want to be Hokage, but you can't carry every death in your shoulders. The old man died for Konoha's sake, and that was his decision, whether it was right or not."

'How did you end up comforting me when it was your father that died?' I think, a mix of emotions inside me, but refrain from speaking.

"I know," I shake my head, my bangs getting slightly in my vision, "it's just hard for me, I guess. It's the first time..." I hesitate, almost saying it's the first time someone so close to me dies.

'Kakashi lost his dad , Sarutobi, the person he was the closest to. Think. Eloquence.' I berate myself before I continue.

"I just never realized how cruel this whole ninja pressure could be." I finish lamely, and I get the feeling he knows that's not what I was going to say, but he lets me off. The boy nods, not taking his eyes off me, and now I can see how calm and at peace he is with this whole thing.

'He's done mourning.' I realize with a start. ' You need to, as well. Not only for your sake, but for Kakashi's and Sakumo's, too.'

"Yeah. He never told me the details, but ANBU is especially unforgiving." He casually agrees with me. Too casually.

"Kakashi," I say seriously, "I'm sorry."

"You already apologized." He grumbles, unhappy the conversation is still not over. I shake my head again.

"No. This time, I want to apologize properly. Sorry for treating you like I have."

Kakashi sighs, closing his eyes for a moment before he nudges me in the ribs, the action so sudden I let out an embarrassing squeak. I can feel him smirk underneath his mask.

"Hey!"

"I already told you; you think too much. What's happened, happened. We need to move forward." A wave of relief washes over me, and I smile. Now this sounds much more like the Kakashi I used to know.

"Yeah, you're right." Suddenly, however, he sombers up, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"When you're Hokage," he begins hoarsely, and I smile internally when an inner clarity hits my mind. His dad's death still hurts. He's not a robot. He's going to be okay. "don't let this happen ever again."

I nod, setting my face straight and giving him the most sincere look I can manage.

"I promise."

Kakashi nods, letting go of me and sighing. I grin, the atmosphere between us finally light and familiar again, and give him a quick hug before he can run away.

"We're not four anymore." The young Hatake grumbles, but gingerly returns my sign of affection, clearing his throat after a few seconds. "Okay, enough physical contact." He says just before lightly pushing me away, and I can't help but bark another laugh.

We're okay again.

'Thank the Universe.'

"C'mon, we gotta finish before dinner." I giggle while nodding, and he rolls his eyes at me before walking over to his father's room with quick, sure steps. I hesitate, not sure if I should follow him, but eventually decide against it in favour of picking up a few books and scrolls off the bookshelf that might be of interest to him later on.

"Hey, Kakashi." I say, loud enough for him to listen, his chakra stable even as he rummages through his dad's things.

"What?" He hollers back, and I distinctly hear the sound of a sword being unsheathed: his father's tanto, the famed White Chakra Light Sabre, which had earned him the White Fang title, no doubt.

"You always say 'when' rather than 'if'. How are you so sure I'm gonna become Hokage?" He pokes his head out of the door, his father's sheathed tanto in his hands, and rolls his eyes at me again.

"Because you obviously want it a lot, and your dad is the current one. You will become Hokage, Chiyuki. Stop worrying."

"I'm not the only one who wants the position, though."

"The old man said you would be our greatest Hokage yet." Kakashi blurts out quickly before going back to his dad's room, looking for an excuse to look busy.

Sakumo believed I would be Hokage – no, scratch that. He believed I would be the greatest .

'Well, someone had a lot of expectations.'

To my surprise, I don't feel resentment knowing Sakumo expected so much of me; in fact, it makes me proud and even more certain of my decision.

'Just you wait and see, ojichan. I'll become a great Hokage and make you proud.' I muse, a content smile on my lips, just as Kakashi's chakra spikes. I turn my head in his direction, confused.

"Kakashi?" A couple of seconds later, his muffled and embarrassed voice answers me, and I laugh freely once more after hearing his answer.

"I found his porn stash."

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There are many things I am aware of, yet don't dare acknowledge. I know all around me there are multiple stimuli just begging me to lose my focus - and, hell, in a shinobi world, that's just the norm, isn't it? The trick isn't whether you can do a certain technique or not; it's whether you can do it well enough under pressure.

I don't feel cold nor hot. If there's some kind of breeze, I don't feel it either. In the back of my mind, my survival instincts catalog every single chakra that's within a two kilometers radius, but there's no need to react to those. All around me, there's one object, and one object only: the solid iron ball placed innocently not two feet away from me.

The task Aunt Hiyori had given to me seemed pretty simple. Place the ball on the ground and try to manipulate the metal without touching it. Easy enough, right? Ninja did their ninjutsu all the time without having to touch the source of their chakra nature.

It seemed simple enough, only it wasn't.

Manipulating chakra outside of your body isn't really something I can explain in logical terms. There's a lot to do with instincts and feels and guts and what simply feels most comfortable.

Projecting your chakra out of your body isn't an issue even if you've got poor chakra control, since it's something we learn to do starting with the most basic forms of chakra manipulation. Oh, no; the real deal starts when you have to not only project it out but also guide it in its path without any sort of chakra coil or path to help you along. Oh yes, there's also the fact that, if not properly manipulated, chakra that's not inside any kind of living being will dissipate and be absorbed into chakra nature in no time at all.

So here's the thing. I had to guide my chakra, boneless in all its nature, towards the metal ball and make it react to it. So far, I haven't been succeeding.

"Still at it, peanut?"

My head nearly turns to the voice on its own, but I can't afford to be distracted now.

'I'm sorry, Tooru. But the war is coming and I've been progressing slower than I'd like. I need to get stronger. Better. For you and me, and for the village.'

A part of my brain register my oldest brother sighing, but my main focus continues to be the metal object. I've been doing this for a week now, switching tactics and going over strategies at night instead of sleeping. A tiny piece of me wants to smile at how pissed off Kakashi always gets, hiding his worry behind snarky remarks.

'You think too loud. Go to sleep already.'

Someone is now occupying the space beside me. He breathes easily and his familiar presence is comforting. I let my body relax, just a little bit.

I can't feel chakra swirling inside me, and I doubt anyone can. It's like trying to sense your blood flowing through your veins; kind of impossible. But when you manipulate it inside your coils, there's a tingle; it's barely there and it only lasts for the briefest of moments, but whether you expel your chakra through your hands or feet, that's where you feel the tingling.

My whole body tingles as I attempt to manipulate the iron ball for the nth time.

At first, it's all good. My chakra obeys me like a well-behaved puppy would. It goes in a wobbly line towards the ball, and the object seems to glow and hum for a fraction of second before the invisible energy dissipates, leaving me frustrated once again.

"Y'know, you always were a natural at things."

Tooru knows I can't answer, but he seems to be content enough with his monologue. I think he's taking the advantage of the fact that there's no responsible adult around to scold him and tell him to stop bothering me.

'Please. As if my brothers could ever bother me. Not even if they tried to.'

"Always. Ever since your headaches stopped and you were this tiny little thing attempting to sense other people's chakras outside the house."

'Breathe in, breathe out. C'mon chakra, do your thing.'

"I remember you crawling up the walls while Asuma slept. It's funny now, but back then it scared the shit out of me."

'That's right, slowly- wait, I don't remember that.'

Focus, Chiyuki.

"Aunt called you a prodigy. Father was terrified."

My whole body tingles for that fraction of second.

"I was too. Still am, actually."

The chakra dissipates quicker this time.

I finally turn my head to look at my brother. My sweet, kind and loving oldest brother, who is my own personal sun. Who looks exactly like a mix of our parents, who is the heir of the clan, who has showed me nothing but unconditional love.

There's softness in his brown eyes while he looks at me, but he's not smiling. It's an odd look for him, seen as I'm so used to his carefree and smiley attitude.

Somehow, I get the feeling I'm really looking at Tooru for the first time in six years.

"For a while, the clan elders talked about making you the heir. Mother was pissed.

He continues to talk as if I hadn't stopped my training. To my relief, his smile is sardonic and small, but genuine.

'Please don't hate me, Tooru-nii. I don't care about what other people think of me, but neither you nor Asuma can hate me. Please.'

"As for me? Well. You know I don't really care about being the heir. They could have made you the heir and I'd probably be upset, yeah, but I'd get over it, y'know?"

No one had ever told me this. I hadn't known just how close I'd been to being clan heir, and how close Tooru had been of being stripped of his birthright, even if he didn't exactly want it. It made my blood turn to ice and fire at the same time.

"And then you nearly got kidnapped."

'Wait a fucking second. What?'

There's no mirth in his eyes when my brother laughs. It's a dry, low sound, one that does not fit him.

"Don't let mother hear you use that kinda language, peanut."

He's looking at me with love in his eyes. A will to protect, to keep safe and to nourish. I hope he's seen the same look in my eyes, because that's all I ever look at my brothers with.

I'm in his arms before I notice. I hadn't noticed I said that out loud, and I don't know who initiated it. Either way, it's… easy. Familiar. Grounding and relaxing at the same time. My brother smells like earth and paper and Tooru , and I'm home.

"Yeah, you were too young when it happened, so I'm not surprised you don't remember."

We're both home, but my brother's mind is elsewhere.

"You were two years old and still getting used to the seal. Headaches weren't as much of a problem as they'd been before, but you still had them occasionally. On that day, father was working late and mother and Aunt Hiyori were busy running the clan, so it was just the three of us in the house. It was raining a lot, so I thought 'hey, why don't we have a pajama party? We gotta enjoy the time away from- from everything'."

Neither of us decides to remark on that stutter. Tooru's voice has started to take on a heavy note, as if he's an adult telling a war story. I snuggle closer to him.

"You and Asuma agreed immediately, so I left you two in my room to grab your futons. I was gone for one minute, tops. One second you were both there, nearly asleep cuddled against each other. The next, there was a flash of lightning and thunder, and you flared your chakra."

Flaring your chakra can be used for many things. In the presence of allies, it can mean a gentle way to let them know you're in the vicinity, or that you're about to enter a room. In the middle of hostiles, it can mean a warning, a signal of distress, a call for help.

It's also something you only begin to learn during shinobi training, and definitely not something toddlers should know.

"I didn't think I was capable of running that fast but, well, turns out I was. I got there just in time to see someone darting out of the open door."

Pressed against his chest, I can feel as he swallows heavily. Mind reeling, I struggle to understand what happened, why Tooru is telling me all of this, and why no one had bothered to tell me anything until now.

"Don't go 'round telling people I told you this, you peanut." He tries for a half-assed joke, but the warning is there all the same. I was kept in the dark for some reason - and I would figure out why. "It's not that difficult to think about why people'd want to kidnap you. You're the youngest kid of the hokage, and at the time you were also the weakest. You're the smart one here, do the math."

I butt my head against his chin, weak enough to not hurt but strong enough that he gets my point. I have no doubt I'm sulking.

"You're smart too. Stop belittling yourself."

"Beli- where're you learning all these fancy words?!"

"Not the point here, Tooru-nii."

My brother huffs amusedly above my head, but doesn't comment any further. Then, he continues to talk, but the moment is lighter than it was before.

"Until that moment, I didn't care about being heir - honestly, I still don't. But I sure started to take training a lot more seriously. Cause, see, peanut, it's not about being clan heir or the strongest or whatever."

Tooru shifts his head to look at me, and there's something so raw in his eyes it kinda makes me wanna cry.

"I'm your brother. I'm your oldest brother, and it's my job to protect both you and Asuma. No, let me finish."

My mouth snaps close. It's not often my brother has something he wants me to listen, and I'll be damned if I don't.

"I was born first, and with that came a lot of responsibilities I don't care for. But it also gave me the opportunity to be the eldest brother of two siblings that are so different yet so equally precious to me."

For the first time in five hours, I breathe in the smell of freshly cut grass and wildflowers blooming. It's awakening, yes, but it feels like an omen. A promise. Something stronger than coincidence or destiny.

"You always were a natural, and it's not difficult to see you're going to do great things. It was natural for you to flare your chakra, it was natural for you to walk on walls, and it's going to be natural for you to manipulate iron without touching it. It's also natural for me to want to protect you, to have the desire to tell you to chill and not draw so much attention to yourself because I'm not sure I can deal with the village elders pressuring you - "

'Ah.'

" - it's natural for me to be your big brother, Chiyuki. Even if you go off on your own and become hokage and do great things and leave me behind - "

'My heart hurts. This shouldn't be physiologically possible.'

" - I'll always be your Tooru-nii. I'll always be your oldest brother, the one who'll protect you from the shadows even if you don't need any protecting - "

'These bonds - they're just the tip of the iceberg, aren't they?'

" - because this job is one I wholeheartedly accepted the moment I was born first. You and Asuma are my younger siblings, and even when you become hokage, I'll protect you."

'These people - Tooru, Asuma, Kakashi, Rin, and so many others - they're Konoha, aren't they? That's the catch. The people are the village. And these people, in particular - '

"It's natural for you to be a prodigy and it'll be natural for you to sprint off ahead while me and Asuma watch your back but - "

' - these people, right here, are my Will of Fire.'

" - it'll be natural for me to follow two steps behind watching your back. Because I'm your brother, no matter how much of a genius you are."

'I will become hokage for them.'

.

.

Constructive criticism is more than welcome, but if you're gonna be an asshole about it, then just don't bother.

Question: under which kage would you like to work for and why?

Notes:

THE. FEELS.

This chapter turned out in a much different direction than I'd originally planned, but I can't say I'm not happy with it. I'm… not particularly well, but I'm getting there. My dog died last week and everything is too raw still, so writing this last part full of feels wasn't difficult. It was quite freeing, dare I say.

Please do tell me what you think about the Sarutobi siblings' relationship.