A Matter of Sincerity

After calming down a bit I manage to gather my thoughts and decide to turn my attention onto something somewhat unrelated: Magic.There is magic in the novel [Love is a Heartbeat Cadence]. As I have practiced magic before I died, this is of course something incredibly important but also interesting.9Thankfully I have been blessed by the same element as I was in my previous life, but I can only hope that water is connected to the same traits as they were in my previous life if at all. I'm not entirely sure, as the magic systems aren't the same.9I'll be using Lily's memories as basis for my understanding of their magic, though she cannot actually use it yet.The novel I have reincarnated in, [Love is a Heartbeat Cadence], has their magic based on magical beings called 'Fairies' and 'Mana'. If you are blessed with the protection of one of these faeries, they will let you use magic in return for using your internal energy which is the mana that recharges constantly during the day and night.The fairy-types fall into the groups of four elements and then light and dark. Your internal mana is generally attractive to one of these six types, and this can be refined by heritage. The more attractive your mana is to a certain group of faeries, the bigger the probability that they will find you interesting and thus bless you. The more powerful faeries prefer the 'purer' kinds of mana. Because of this, it's obvious that nobles have a bigger probability of being blessed, creating a natural hierarchy in the society. While it is technically possible to be blessed by more than one fairy, apparently faeries do not like sharing the mana from their benefactor.I, as Lily, has been blessed with a Mana-type highly preferred by water faeries, meaning that I should be able to gain the blessing of a so called 'grand rank fairy' in the future.11Lily is eight now, but she hasn't been blessed yet. Honestly it's rather late, as nobles of high rank are usually blessed around the age of five to seven. If possible it would be a good thing to solve this one way or another to prevent people from looking down on our family.As for the magic in my former life. There was no so called 'Mana'. Rather than these flimsy winged 'faeries' we spoke directly to the gods in the ground, water, fire or air. We prayed to these small gods for their miracles. How much they would accept to help us depended solely on the degree to which they favored us. For standardized prayers they asked nothing in return, but for answering questions, or specific requests, they would demand something in return. Something of benefit for themselves. I once had to pull a rickshaw out of a river because I wanted to know which direction my friend went to and the water god was sullen over the rickshaw hindering its movement.The favor of these gods could be increased by getting better at things which the gods favored. In my case, water gods have a certain preference for physically strong and perceptive people. While Lily's body is in no way strong, I assume that the perceptiveness from my former life is brought along to some extent. At least I hope so.Honestly, I would prefer using the same kind of magic as I did from my old life... the familiarity, system and honor of it cannot be compared to the magic of this world. Sadly, I'm unsure whether I can use it, as elemental gods are usually very weak outside the empire.Before anything else I should find out whether or not I can even find any gods. In case that fails I will worry about those 'faeries' aft-CLANK.I glance to the door cautiously at the sound.Someone just unlocked the door....I wait a bit, but the door doesn't actually open. I consider attempting to use magic just in case, but I'm not sure it would work, nor that this body could even use the same level of prayers I was used to.I had been poisoned just a week ago, so I have little choice but to be cautious of something like this in case the other party didn't mean well. Still, if this was an assassin they weren't doing their job well. They were wasting time. There's a probability they were waiting for me to open the door though.As they wish. I'll face them head on. I still have a bit of leftover anger from dealing with Adela too.I walk to the door and open it just a bit. I let it stand open for a moment. As there's no reaction I open it wide and take in the surroundings. Apparently no one had been waiting outside the door... but my brother's shoulder is peeking out from the connecting hallway just a bit away. Umu. He would make a horrible assassin that is for sure.To think I got worried over this. My shoulders sink with relief at what I guess is at worst a pretty move for revenge on his part. Still, this stupid brother of mine was an important character in the novel. He was one of the first to start fawning over the innocent heroine, and being the brother of the villainess made sure that one of the story arcs included him taking revenge for everything Lily had done to him. Considering the behavior of his mother and sister, the sweet and naive Heroine must have been a sight for sore eyes. Now, as for one of the many reasons why he hates his sister... You see, a few months ago Lily pushed him down the stairs.Their relationship was bad before that, but turned grim after that incident. In the novel it even became a trauma for him, and he detested noble women after that. As for his personality... well, at first it would be steely and cold, but as the heroine warmed his wounded heart he slowly turned into a person simply in denial of his own feelings instead.I figured his purpose was likely to get me in trouble for going out of my room or... perhaps he was expecting me to walk down the stairs so he could make it an eye for an eye. It would be easy to just ignore him, but... this was a mistake that Lily had made. Lily was the main cause of this conflict, and as Lily it was my responsibility to repent for her sins towards those that should be my allies rather than opponents.I end up gnawing on the inside of my cheek for a moment. There was no way he would simply forgive me just with a change of attitude if he truly had a trauma and grudges. It would require more drastic measures. As little as I want to beg for forgiveness from a child, I have little options in the matter.I step up to him and kneel to the ground in my pink nightgown. As I place my hands on the floor in front of me as gracefully I bow forward into a dogeza. I know from Lily's memories that this is not the standard way of kneeling or begging for forgiveness here. I know that it looks odd, but even across cultures I know that this should speak for itself. The formality may be difference, but the submission is the same."Older brother! Please forgive me for pushing you down the stairs!" It was only right for me to plead for his mercy with pure sincerity no matter the form in which it comes, even if a display such as this may be overwhelming for him. Still, in four years he will be an adult. He must be prepared to face this.I hear his feet move, probably from surprise that I found out, but I still feel a cold gaze on my back as he collects himself.A long and tense silence ensues. This is nothing odd for me, I've seen someone have to hold this position for hours because he ended up saying something inconsiderate of a dead samurai and the general that was in town did not take kindly to it."No," he responded after a short while. I sort of expected as much. As I said, Lily and Eric did not get along well. He may be thinking it is a trick."Please! I have realized that my behavior has been unacceptable. I will accept any punishment older brother wishes for." I reply back without moving to get the sincerity across. I don't intend to move before he accepts to some degree.It was quiet again for a while after Eric steps back a bit. He should be considering a sort of punishment at this point. I don't mind waiting and just close my eyes patiently. It's not that the posture is in any way comfortable. Lily's body is quite stiff for a child as well."...Okay..."I look up at Eric with a bit of surprise. I thought he'd make me endure it longer. I am met with a sullen expression. And the punishment? He looks uncomfortable, but doesn't say anything else. At all."Thank you," I responded to his forgiveness. This was unexpected. I was certain he would have desired something in return or a sort of punishment. Perhaps he is not adding it as he finds it impossible to properly forgive me and just wants out of the situation?Still, this would be a good sign. It means he doesn't take pleasure in hurting people. I stand up with the best attempt of physical elegance I can with this frail body, and give a small curtsy."Then, good night, older brother."He stares at me with that same look of discomfort and returned my good night with a certain hesitance. That was the first time he had said good night to Lily. He may not have looked me in the eyes, but was meaningful event, however small and incomplete it seems.It may not seem like much, but it should hopefully make Eric consider that I may really have changed rather than merely try to make him let his guard down.A step in the right direction does not mean it is solved though. Gaining trust after everything the two of them have been through is not that easy.