CHAPTER 23
There was a smell of rain around his body, and his clothes were wet, with a mixture of rain and sweat, and his sneakers were soaked, and weighed even more, yet he got off near the shopping mall where he had been earlier with Jan, he sat in a square next to the shopping mall, for some reason, Leonardo thought it wouldn't be good to go home at that moment.
He just sat and looked around, and that area was as busy as the beachfront, or much busier.
One thing that affected him in the past, affected him again, when he saw those people, his mind transformed his vision into big blurs of light, he didn't see what expression people were making, he could only feel what they were doing, and everyone seemed points of light and happiness, and he felt distant and detached from it all.
Leonardo decided to turn on his cell phone, he already had some missed calls from Fernanda, but only she called, so Leonardo decided to send a message, he said he started to feel really bad and thought it would be better to go home, and his cell phone was out of battery.
He just sent the message, and when he saw that Fernanda had viewed the message, Leonardo turned off his cell phone again and decided to walk a little, inside the mall.
His body still had enormous fatigue, he was thinking about what he should do, even with his tiredness, the thought of going home still didn't cross his mind, he knew that if he went home in that state, he would just lock himself in the room again while having to face all the weight and pain of what I was feeling while watching the walls.
Again he looked around, trying to see someone he knew, but he didn't find anyone, he didn't see any familiar faces, and he couldn't even see people's expressions, he just looked around, and seemed to see shadows passing between him.
He was still wearing his competition clothes, with a number glued to the front, and completely wet, he stood out well among the people, he was the only one in that state, he was completely out of touch with the rest of the people in that mall and he wasn't sure what to do, but it had to stay there.
Leonardo learned a lot from Jane, about the stores in the mall, the dynamics between sellers, promotions, bargaining, he even visited some clothing stores that he was with Jane, while looking at the new collection in the window, and even thought about coming back one day. He was getting back to normal.
Soon after he stopped at the same café he always stopped at with Jane, and ordered a Moccaccino, he still didn't feel hungry, just tired and an unusual spiritual weakness.
His order took a while, the place was quite crowded, with several people running in from the rain, and during meetings, Leonardo had to sit at the counter, at least now he could better see the expressions on people's faces.
They smiled, happily, and distracted themselves with each other, embracing each other in hugs, and sideways smiles, little by little indulging in those more private moments of communion between people.
The smell of rain and sweat that Leonardo was smelling started to leave, now he could smell hot coffee beans being roasted, and he was increasingly calming down again, and when his Moccaccino arrived, he drank it in two sips. , he really needs that, at that moment.
People didn't seem to notice Leonardo, not even what was happening to him, it seemed like someone was coming back from the gym, it was something common there, everyone was distracted by their own problems, and with that, Leonardo was finally able to breathe.
Leonardo got up and decided it was time to leave, go home, and maybe try something different, his mother was at home, maybe have a pizza for two while watching a comedy movie, it was time for him to start over the life in another way.
He decided to go out to the shopping mall's food court, he was looking at the options, and while he was deciding which place he would buy the pizza from, he saw Fernanda, Jonathan, Isabel and Marcelle, sitting in a pizzeria, and apparently, they had been there for a long time.
Jonathan was sitting right next to Fernanda, hugging her, but Marcelle was right in front of him, and he directed a lot of glances at Marcelle while she smiled, trying to hide what was happening, now everything started to become clearer.
It was difficult to try to understand why this had happened, or even think about how to carry on like that, but everything was falling apart for Leonardo, again.
Leonardo was very tired, but he would try to see a little of what was happening between them, try to understand a little more where it would all end, or if he could do something other than just observe, he hadn't talked to Marcelle about it yet, but talked to Jonathan.
The moment Leonardo talked to Jonathan, he noticed that Jonathan seemed to feel a little jealous, as if trying to discourage Leonardo from supposedly trying something with Marcelle, he also discovered that Jonathan was unaware that something was going on between the two.
Jane had already spoken to Leonardo about this, often, people who are having an affair are very jealous of the other person, even if it is not official, they try to keep other possible partners away from their affairs.
This was one of the things that Jane told Leonardo to pay close attention to, the other one he would do in a few days, try to make a relationship with Marcelle official, or end it all.
Leonardo thought that he had become colder, that he didn't need these things about dating and relationships, that the way things were going would be fine for him, but that wasn't exactly the case, he needs more, much more.
He knew that Marcelle was a desired person and attracted many looks and people, and from the beginning this went against Leonardo's insecurity, but it could not continue like that.
Marcelle was increasingly becoming someone special to Leonardo, and he wanted to convey this to other people, especially to mutual friends, but things took a turn he didn't expect.
Leonardo continued to observe the dynamics between them, without being seen, without letting his emotions shake him as much as they did earlier, now he was more centered, and only thought about putting an end to it all.
Marcelle continued to smile towards Jonathan, she moved her hair behind her ear and whenever she smiled, she looked at him, and he smiled in return. It was becoming more obvious what was going on, and even more so with Fernanda present, Jonathan must have been acting like this for a long time, as it already seemed to be something natural for him.
Leonardo took his cell phone and turned it on again, looked at the messages and calls, Marcelle hadn't sent him any messages, hadn't even called him, and now she was completely happy and smiling in front of Jonathan.
He looked at his cell phone again, and saw that Jane had sent a message, asking how the race went, Leonardo just smiled, and sent a message saying that he managed to finish at the fifty-six minute mark.
Again he thought of something other than Marcelle, and remembered everything he had achieved in those two months, and everything he had achieved.
Leonardo decided to leave that shopping mall for good, he didn't even buy the pizza, he thought it would be better to order it when he got home, and he walked, smelling the street, trying to push away any thoughts he had about Marcelle, as it was making his stomach shake.
It was just dusk, the stars were shining brightly, just like the moon, it was shining as if it were made of crystal, and it was different from other days.
There was no dark spot, even the night sky seemed to be bluer than usual, very blue, like a dawn, and Leonardo walked calmly, observing each person, each look of his, he captured something different about the people around him.
I looked at some, and saw how happy they were, it was Sunday, and many were already going home at that time, it was all very different for Leonardo, being away from home, on a Sunday and at that time, without Marcelle.
The previous Sunday they were together, they spent the whole day together, they went to the beach during the day, and at night, they walked a little, through the streets of Ipanema, right after watching the sunset from the top of the Arpoador rock.
They were completely happy that day, they spent the day caressing each other, and exchanging kisses, and exchanging happy and joyful smiles, looking good at each other, caressing each other's skin well, they did this more and more every day, they continued to do it. This completely changed the interaction between them more and more, they were able to act completely sincerely towards each other.
When he kissed Marcelle's mouth, he could already feel each lip well, he completely felt the shapes of her mouth, he felt her tongue, the shape, the texture and the taste, and he learned to like every part of Marcelle , and suffered even more, thinking about someone else taking advantage of Marcelle like that.
Leonardo walked through the streets, alone, the blue sky shone and the stars seemed to move across the sky, agitated with something, perhaps it was just his imagination, but he followed, anyway, as he thought about what to do, that was when a message it even reached his cell phone.
It was Jane, asked if he stopped to celebrate with his friends, she was also going to celebrate, but was still undecided about what to eat.
Leonardo called Jane, asked if she wanted company, he was going home, but he could call a taxi and go to her house, if she wanted. She accepted.