CHAPTER 24

Leonardo arrived with a serious expression on his face, after watching Jane for a few moments, he just forced a smile on the side of his face while still thinking about what to do. Leonardo had decided to keep the phone off. 

Jane was completely energetic, she wore sports shorts, similar to those from Crossfit, she was always very comfortable at home, even with Leonardo present, she wore a white shirt with a drawing of the character from Perfect blue, and left her beautiful blonde hair tied up. 

She didn't notice the difference in Leonardo's expression, nor did she feel the dejection he was going through at that moment, she just hugged him and asked him to sit on the sofa while she asked him a lot of questions about how the race had gone. 

Jane's eyes watched every movement Leonardo made, she looked at the expressions on his face, and the movements he made, and smiled between one speech and another. 

"Do you want to go eat an açaí?" Jane asked. 

Leonardo thought for a while about how to respond, his eyes emitted a bright glow, but his body seemed heavy and covered with a thin cloud. 

"I really need to go eat something, I'm exhausted, I went to the mall but I left the food there." 

Jane opened a smile that would make anyone's heart soften, and with a friendly and sincere look, Leonardo managed to open a smile. 

He was seriously thinking about whether or not to talk about everything that happened, but at first he just decided to talk about the race. 

Jane decided to change her clothes, she put on a plaid skirt and a white dress shirt, she could manage herself in a wind, and soon looked ready to record, but she just accompanied Leonardo on a night walk. 

Jane was quite happy, even more so knowing that Leonardo had reached his goal, she needed to know more about what it was like for Leonardo to achieve all that, she asked several questions about what each step Leonardo took would be like. 

Leonardo answered each of Jane's questions, with a brief smile, it seemed like he was being interviewed, but Jane's expression made him calm down completely, it looked like a summer night, but there weren't so many colors in the sky. 

Leonardo talked about everything, he talked about the laps he did, about how difficult the start of the race was, passing through so many people, starting surrounded by people, and trying to find the best place to put his foot, he needed to talk more and more about the running and pushing away the thoughts that made him even more depressed. 

They entered a diner on the same street as Jane's house. 

"Two super-large açaís, please." Jane asked the attendant while she was leaning on the counter, her voice was like music to Leonardo at that moment. 

Jane loved eating, it was her favorite pastime, and even more so listening to Leonardo's stories, or commenting on her videos, they soon left the cafeteria and walked calmly down the street again. 

"You look pretty haggard, the run really got tiring." 

"But in the end I think I could have done better, I still feel very energetic." 

"You must be acting strong, you should get some rest, we better go back to my apartment." 

As they walked back to Jane's apartment, they passed in front of a mirrored store, he thought about how things had changed, and remembered a day when he was with Marcelle, laughing, drinking açaí, passing happily in front of a store like that one. 

"You should talk more, I'm getting embarrassed now, it feels like I'm talking to myself." Jane laughed. 

"No really, I'm listening, this is important too, you know?" 

Jane closed her eyes at Leonardo and laughed again. 

They had just entered the apartment and Jane had already thrown herself on the sofa. She was in a completely different emotional state than Leonardo, he decided to be closer to Jane, for that reason. 

Soon they thought it would be better to put some videos from YouTube channels that Jane followed, they always did that, she loved learning new ways of recording and exposing herself on the internet, so she followed YouTubers from all over the world to learn new things, and whenever Leonardo I was at her house, they did a little of that. 

He devoured the açaí, but he could barely feel the flavor on his lips, he continued to think about everyone else going to celebrate after the race, and he couldn't be part of it all, he also didn't understand how Jonathan could deceive Fernanda like that. 

Fernanda had already commented to Leonardo about some things, which made her suspicious of Jonathan's nature, in addition to him often leaving at night to fix something in the store or meet a customer, he started to appear with some brands, until one day he appeared with scratches on his back. 

After that day Leonardo began to suspect Marcelle, but he didn't mention his distrust to Fernanda, he wouldn't even know where to start, as they were all friends, he thought he could be mistaken, and in the end, betray the trust of practically everyone at once. 

Jane put on a video by a Japanese YouTuber, who talked about routine things and travel, and Leonardo quickly remembered that he was already thinking about organizing himself to go on a short trip with Marcelle, but even that was cancelled. 

While Leonardo was watching that video of the Japanese YouTuber, his body started to change and he missed Marcelle more and more, he felt more and more the need to get over it all and be with her. 

This feeling was really present with him, there was something in his mind telling him to ignore it all and just enjoy what was happening between him and Marcelle without caring about anything else around, there were several things like that going on in his head, and it was something like that had held him by her side these past few weeks. 

But when Leonardo saw Marcelle's body lying on the bed, he just thought about how someone else was also making her smile, enjoy and be happy, and thinking that she was satisfying herself in someone else's arms also made him suffer until the bones. 

Jane commented on several things in the video, even the way the YouTuber expressed herself, but that wasn't catching Leonardo's attention, he continued thinking about his relationship with Marcelle. 

After a few more comments and a daytime silence from Leonardo, Jane stopped the video and asked what was happening. 

Leonardo thought about ignoring the question and saying it was no big deal, but his body acted out of sincerity, and cried out for him to talk about everything. Leonardo did it. 

"You know, even today I catch myself thinking about the first days I spent with Marcelle, how everything was new, and everything seemed perfect, even the fear I felt, everything seemed to pull me slowly, it was a big change in my life, a pleasurable change. 

Jane was silent, a silence took over her body, like never before, and only the sound of the television echoed in the room. 

He started talking about how Jonathan was interacting with Marcelle, the ways they exchanged glances, how Marcelle ignored him when Jonathan was around and about everything Jonathan had said about Marcelle, and about Isabela. 

Leonardo began to unburden himself, and slowly collapse, he felt a great tightness in his chest as if it were a scream trying to escape from within. 

He talked about what he felt, about wanting to ignore all the signs he was having just to be able to spend more time with Marcelle, he talked about how the last few weeks had been and the amount of emotional conflicts he had to endure. The fear of leaving Marcelle aside and being alone again, and he thought about the friendship he had with Jonathan and everything they had experienced together, so many years of living with him. And not knowing if he had really changed that much. 

His emotions were guiding him in two opposite directions, and his body was beginning to succumb, and Leonardo was just trying to arrange one more moment with Marcelle, his body was screaming for more moments with her, while a good part of his emotions had already distanced themselves from everything that happened. . He needed time and space to think, and looking at Jane in that moment, he found everything he was looking for. 

Leonardo's eyes were filled with tears, and his face became even redder, even though his skin was very dark, it was clear how difficult it was for him to talk about it all. 

"Maybe we should take a break and go out for a bit." Jane spoke. 

"Um... I guess so... that would be good." 

Jane adjusted herself on the sofa and looked directly at Leonardo, she seemed to be expecting something from him, and her eyes were shining completely, and Leonardo just got up and was ready to leave. 

She changed her clothes a little, put on yoga pants, and a cream-colored wool coat, she had a certain ease in getting ready, it seemed like anything looked good on her, while Leonardo was still in his competition clothes. 

But she said not to care about that, and they left, and walked a little through the streets of the Humaítá neighborhood. 

 . . . 

The street was a little colder than usual, and everything seemed static, still, even the people seemed still, without moving, and the yellowish lights of the bars and restaurants also seemed motionless, as if they were lights from a glance, watching everything go by. 

They didn't want to stop anywhere, they just walked while Leonardo breathed and looked at people, doing everyday things, and acting happy at the end of a Sunday. 

He was still a little hungry, but he decided to just walk until they reached a square, it was completely empty, and there they would eat food. 

"Let's talk a little more." 

Leonardo sat on a bench in the square and Jane followed him. 

"Maybe I should put this story aside and wait for everything to settle down, wait for the truth to come out on its own." 

"You shouldn't act that way, if something hurts you maybe it's better to avoid it and walk away, there are many good people in this world waiting to meet you." 

Jane held Leonardo's hand tightly. He looked surprised, but determinedly held Jane's hand. 

"I think that's it, but maybe I should get used to doing everything myself, like when it was before, it was always easy for me, so it should continue to be." 

"I've also been having to solve everything myself for some time, just creating everything for my channel, taking care of my apartment, and I know how difficult that is, and it demands a lot from us, and there are days that are harder than others, but we are stronger people than we seem, and that's what you need to trust." 

Now he was able to think a little better about the matter, it was his fear that made him cling to Marcelle, regardless of how much he suffered, it was the fear of being isolated at home again, of no longer having company to run, or talk to, If he could no longer walk around the streets of Rio de Janeiro and see new places, he felt this fear constantly. 

Jane knew well what Leonardo was feeling, but she didn't console him with words, she continued to show affection and attention through gestures, and hugged him a little, she knew that the part of the person talking and expressing themselves was fundamental and left the way free for Leonardo to vent and share what he felt, at ease. 

Jane's hug took Leonardo by surprise, but he felt full again, and confident. 

The desire that Leonardo felt for Marcelle had overcome the flesh, it had overcome several things, but now, that same desire was the sword pointed against him. 

After a few more statements, Jane decided to leave that place, he seemed to feel a little cold, he wasn't wearing the best clothes for walking at that time, so they went into a restaurant and ordered some pieces of pie and some watermelon juice. 

There were a lot of people in that place, Leonardo and Jane stood out a lot, they seemed very different from everyone in that place, although Jane had a natural presence that attracted everyone's eyes. 

The pie had a sweet and excellent flavor, Leonardo had cut out the sweets some time ago, and soon returned to savoring every texture of that night pie. 

"You know, this fear you're feeling is normal, you shouldn't let it get you down." Jane spoke and finished munching on a pie. 

"You should face your fear head on, let everything change and that you can change with it all, everyone goes through this and feels the same fear as you, but you can't let it bring you down." Jane continued. 

She continued saying that Leonardo was an incredible person, very handsome, intelligent and pleasant, he would soon find new people, to share the things he liked most, soon he would have new running companies, he didn't need to have this fear of changes, because the people would always find each other. 

Leonardo felt that he was still very insecure about himself, he felt how much this was hurting him, he had already tried in different ways to overcome it. 

New clothes, new paint in the room and at home, new perfumes, he kept his haircut, he had changed a lot of things about himself, and he knew that this would soon change the way he thought about himself. And changed. 

He changed, and several times he put aside self-criticism to think well about himself, several times he left bad thoughts aside so he could tell Marcelle what he felt. But his body still held onto that old insecurity he felt before. 

After eating a little and ordering some food to take away, Jane and Leonardo returned to her apartment, Leonardo just thought about walking her home, and as soon as they arrived in front of Jane's building, she invited him to spend the night there. 

Leonardo was still shaken, his body seemed fragile, somehow, and he didn't even know what to think, as his thoughts flew away, in a feeble attempt to keep thoughts about Jonathan and Marcelle away. 

He just accepted it and didn't even think about what was going on around him, or the clothes he needed to change and things like that. 

As soon as they went upstairs, Jane said that she had some clothes that might fit Leonardo, a black My Chemical Romance shirt and basketball shorts, which for some reason someone had given Jane as a gift, but she had never worn. 

Leonardo went to take a shower at Jane's house, he needed to wash off those night lights, and above all that he had gone through in that day, and his body seemed renewed in the face of that cold water that fell on him, all the memories seemed renewed and cleaner, purer. 

Still under the shower, he remembered the race again, and everything he had done, and how much Fernanda and Isabela had worked hard that day, and so had he. 

Now Leonardo's mind began to return to its place, and he began to think about the good things he had done, not only that day, but in the last few weeks. 

As soon as Leonardo got out of the shower and put on the clothes that Jane had given him, he smelled Jane's perfume, and took a deep breath of that essence. 

Leonardo immersed himself in Jane's beauty several times, but he always managed to keep the bond of their friendship strong, he knew that she had no romantic interest in him, but it was complicated for him to be in the presence of someone who was so passionate for so long. 

Jane looked at Leonardo with a serious expression and then asked: "Do you want anything else?" 

Leonardo smiled and replied, "Maybe yes, there are a lot of things I really need, but now I'm satisfied, you're really a great person." 

Jane didn't respond, just looked more contemplative, but thought it best not to say anything, she looked back at the television and Leonardo sat next to her. He still had a very closed expression, he knew he said too much, and he still wasn't used to opening up like that. 

"Do you want to talk about something else?" Jane asked. 

"Not exactly, I think this time I'll just enjoy your company, you've been a very important person in my life, even more so at this moment." 

Jane hugged Leonardo's body, and commented a little about the videos, they decided to change to music videos, and watched a Paramore show, and Jane knew all the songs, this changed her mood completely, she seemed completely different, she was more lively and exuded joy. 

The atmosphere was really pleasant for Leonardo, he knew that it was always better to be among people, he knew how important it was, and even more so, when he shared those moments with someone who really cared about him. 

They managed to watch the entire show. And it was already very late, they decided to go to sleep, Leonardo had already slept on Jane's sofa once, and he thought it would be better. 

"You can lie in bed with me, it won't be a problem." Jane spoke and seemed to have no concerns about sharing a bed with Leonardo. 

"I don't think I'll be able to say no this time." 

He just responded and watched Jane walk slowly to the room, he was quite nervous, but he thought this was normal for Jane, she had a lot of friends, she must do this often. He just took a deep breath and continued. 

At first, they just lay down in the dark, talking about something, they looked at the ceiling and talked, their voices were softer, softer, talking in that silence was something really pleasant. 

Just the darkness and their voices resounding in that huge room, Leonardo didn't know how to feel about it all, he had been with Marcelle in the same way several times, but he felt he couldn't have the same type of conversation with Jane. 

The silence and their voices echoing off the walls, and now, he was able to share the same thing with Jane, it was unlikely, being with Jane like that, but he knew it didn't have the same meaning, it wasn't the time for romance, and it made his chest tighten, yet, it was something truly precious to him, Leonardo considered moments as the most precious asset for him. 

As their voices resounded endlessly, he felt sleep coming closer and closer, and faster, and Jane's voice became softer and gentler, it seemed to come from something far away, and reached Leonardo's ears with depth. 

Soon after commenting on how sleep was appearing, Jane approached Leonardo, and with her body still lying next to him, she hugged him, and soon after, Leonardo hugged her in return, and his arms were around her, and they continued talking. 

The conversation had a slower pace, but the voices still came out softly, that was when Jane caught Leonardo's attention, she asked Leonardo to look at her face, and as soon as Leonardo looked, Jane kissed him.