Forced Confessions

"I'm sorry," I felt the words erupt out of me and no matter what I did I just couldn't stop the words from tumbling out. It had started to rain and it was already dark out but even so Deku and I just stood there. I felt my body shaking and when I looked down I was trembling. It took a while for me to realize that it wasn't raindrops landing on my gloves.

I angrily tried to wipe away the tears that came unbidden, unwanted things, why do they have to make this so hard?

"Kacchan?" I saw him take a step forward but I set off a small explosion in my hands to keep him away, far away from me.

"I can't stop it, stay back." I yelled hoarse already, but that should be understandable. We have spent all day fighting villains in this forsaken war. Even now I can look around and see heroes and villains alike lying lifelessly on the ground, forgotten in the heat of the moment. The fighting only just stopped a few moments ago and that was only because Deku and I had managed to kill All-For-One, horrifyingly at that. We had spent most of the day fighting and it was a last ditch effort but combining my explosions with Deku's One-For-All we were able to actually rip the bastard's head off his shoulders.

But it came at a price.

Deku stopped in his tracks maybe a millisecond before he frowned and stepped forward anyway. My tears were streaming down my face while all I could do was stand there, praying that I didn't hurt him, or anyone else for that matter.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." The words kept spilling out and I ripped off my gauntlets hoping that if they weren't near me then maybe fewer people would get hurt. Just maybe.

"Kacchan, look at me!" I jumped at Deku's far too close for comfort. Voice jarred me from the endless abyss that is my mind for the moment. So many could have beens, should have beens, WOULD have beens and none of them could happen now and all because of me.

When I was losing focus again Deku grabbed my chin and jerked it up and all I could see were his endlessly beautiful green malachite irises looking back at me. His stare was hard and even with the rain they only sparked with determination, come hell or high water he was going to get his way. My breath stuttered just seeing his usually happy soft features so set and firm looking at me now, practically glaring...

Glaring, that's the word. He was glaring deep into my black soul and I felt like mine was reaching out towards him, pleading for a way to not drown in the guilt that was currently flooding me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking as I tried again and again. Why? Why won't the words I need to say come out? I'm trying so hard but it feels like I'm being buried alive, more and more pressure is being pushed on me every second, making it harder.

His eyes softened as he held mine. I felt his thumb glide along my chin and his eyes drifted down for barely a second. Could I hope? Could I actually dare to hope that it somehow wasn't too late?

"Please," I begged, leaning into his touch, shocking the green eyed man I've been in love with since before I even knew what the word meant. Love, I love Deku. I love Izuku Midoriya and just him standing so close both hurt and soothed the ache in my tattered soul. "Please?" I closed my eyes not daring to look at his face anymore. If he walked away I could handle that, I could open my eyes and put the erasure cuffs on myself and check into a nearby hospital until the effects wore off. Hopefully I won't feel the need to be swallowed up by the ground by the time that happens but it is what it is.

"Kacchan, look at me," I heard his gentle voice and opened my eyes to see his soft gaze directed at me. I blinked a few times, not sure how he could be looking at me like that after what he just found out. What he found out about me.

"I'm so sorry Deku," I whimpered and I meant it with all my heart. How could I ever think he would ever forgive me? How could he just accept the words I had screamed out so involuntarily that even while they were being dragged out of my screaming mouth they shocked me to my core?

No one else was close enough to hear what we were saying now, but only God knows how many people heard the words I screamed out as the villain's head was thrown across the field, the villain Shigaraki had caught it in surprise only to find that he had disintegrated his own mentor's head.

The question is why. Why was I forced to scream out those words? The words I have buried deep in my soul, determined to not let see the light of day even after my lifetime. Why was I forced into confessing my crimes now?

"Kacchan?" I looked up at Deku's soft voice, finding his eyes again and I saw him relax as he took another half step forward. We are almost touching now. I can't look away, he is too close and even if I could his hand was still on my jaw, his thumb gently rubbing along it.

"I didn't mean to, I swear." I could feel my tears finally starting to calm down. Deku was holding my gaze and somehow it was soothing, like I was in a grassy field with clear blue skies and wind blowing my hair around.

"I know Kacchan, I didn't either." I looked at him confused. What does that mean? What did he do that I don't know about? But when I opened my mouth to ask he just pulled me forward and into a small kiss. My eyes widened in shock at first but slowly I relaxed and my eyes finally closed as I kissed him back.

"I love you Deku!" I had screamed it as if it were the last words I was ever going to say but here I am still standing and Deku is actually kissing me. I felt him slip a cuff on one of my wrist and when he pulled away I saw that he put the other cuff on himself.

"I love you too Kacchan. When this quirk wears off we can talk more but not until it wears off, okay?" His eyes were big, round and hopeful and all I could do was nod at first.

"Can I... Again?" My eyes drifted back to his lips again, I know that it was a cheap shot considering for all he knew this quirk was temporary, but I know the truth. I have felt this way for years, I just couldn't put words to it until now. Isn't that fucking shitty?

"Just one more, then you have to wait until the quirk ends." He smiled and I couldn't not notice the blush spreading across his face.

I wrapped the arm cuffed to him around and placed it on his lower back, trapping the arm a little before using my free arm to tangle in his hair. If I only get one more then I'm going to make it fucking count!

My lips met his and he opened easily enough, letting our tongues meet for the first time so we could explore each other. I could hear people in the background giggling and shitty jokes but I just didn't care and Deku either didn't care or didn't hear them.

When we did pull away all I could really hear was our breath as they mixed between us and I saw those beautiful irises watching me. I leaned forward again but he blocked, putting his hand on my mouth and shocking me back to the present. Our bodies were shaking and the fact is that it is still raining and we were sadly not alone.

I heard my squad cat call and whistle as they cheered and I even heard Icyhot groan out "Finally!" as if he had been waiting forever just for this.

"We need to get you looked at to see how long the quirk is going to last," Deku announced as if I wasn't only a couple inches away and I jerked, trying to shake the fogginess from my head.

"Problem children, why can't you date like normal teenagers?" Eraserhead groaned and I finally looked around to see our whole class plus a few older pros grinning like they just won the jackpot.

"Because Kacchan doesn't actually feel this way, he was hit with a quirk at the last second and he started screaming and crying." Deku's words sounded terrible, like it was taking everything he had just to be able to say them. It hurts so bad, all I want to do is hold him.

"It's still true though," I whispered in his ear before he could step away but his face was already so red there was no way I could tell how my words affected him.

I love Deku, the words were foreign in my own head but at the same time they felt so right. Like the missing piece of a jigsaw had finally been found and put into place. I love Deku.

I ignored everyone's groans and general cursing, fuck I didn't know everyone had been rooting for us to get together, in fact the only person who seemed to be actually annoyed was Aizawa Sensei and that was just because one of us was again hit by a troublesome quirk. Although I could see him making eye contact with other heroes as if he were saying 'I told you so.' And now I'm wondering what that is all about.

There was a flurry of activity as the living was checked over and the only people currently under the effects of quirks was me and Icyhot, who was holding onto Shitty Hair's hand like a lifeline. The quirk he was hit with? Something to do with melting? The fuck if I know how that has anything to do with my best friend.

The quirk used on me was called forced confessions which seemed to shock Deku the most. Apparently it found the deepest darkest secret the victim had and forced it out of them whether they knew about it or not. It also forced the victim to tell the truth but I didn't even really feel that part. Now that I understand what these bubbly feelings inside of me are I couldn't keep them down.

"Dinner? We can watch a movie after?" I asked, gripping his hand, not even caring about the erasure cuffs I was still wearing. My quirk is volatile on a good day, so right now when everything seems so new and interesting no one wants to chance my excitement getting the better of me.

"Kacchan, the quirk should be wearing off in a few more minutes," Deku sighed trying to be patient with me. He was insisting on waiting until the quirk wore off before trusting anything I said to be the truth.

"Then let me kiss you until then?" I smirked, pulling him into my arms and holding him there. I'm not forcing him by any means but the feel of him in my arms just felt so right and considering he hasn't fought me at all about it, it's been nice.

"Five more minutes," I heard him muttering to himself while he took deep calming breaths. I waited for the time to pass just holding him in my arms and when it did he set another alarm just in case his timing was off but Recovery Girl was here and when she checked me over she gave the all clear.

I ignored her very judgemental eyes because I just don't care. I finally understand and the only way I'm going to let Deku go is if he wants me to.

"Can I kiss you now?" I asked, still trying to be patient. He looked up at me with his big shocked eyes and very slowly nodded and in the next moment my lips were on his.

Mine at last.