Chapter XXXVII - Sickness (part 2)

Without realizing, a tear flowed down my eyes, towards my ears because I was still laying my head.

I can hear Valey's sob from the other side of the room, while Barett is trying to calm her down.

Ah... Don't cry for me. Please?

"Guys... Please. It's not like I can't live without using magic."

The others turned their face towards me, once more. I nodded to them with a strong smile, holding down my neck from letting out a cry.

Hod signalled the others to leave the room. They all nodded and turned towards the door, with heavy steps. Once the others had left, he himself stood up.

"Thank you, Rize."

I looked at him with my tears still flowing down.

"If it wasn't for you, we would have died in the dungeon. If it wasn't for you clearing that many red orcs, a lot of adventurers would have gotten hurt or killed. If it wasn't for you, that guy who was swallowed by the snake, would have died."

He then lowered his body and head, bowing at me.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I couldn't do anything, Rize!"

He said loudly as tears slowly fell down his eyes. I simply smiled at this scene.

"Oi. It's not like I'm going to die."

I said that with a little chuckle, but he is still bowing.

Damn it, man... Don't make this any sadder than it already is.

A few seconds later he lifted his body and walked out of the room while wiping his tears and snorts. Once I'm sure I'm alone, I lifted my hand to cover my eyes. 

And I cried heavily, while smiling at this crazy tilting life.

A life... without magic, huh?

.

Apparently after I slapped my face to the ground at the Office, I was asleep for a whole day. Klane was very worried as to why I didn't wake up sooner, so she called the doctor.

The doctor had taken a look at my condition and mentioned how bad it was. It was a good call, otherwise my condition could have gotten worse.

The doctor ordered me to get a healer immediately and the healer had gone through a long healing session on me, starting from the first bell till the second. The healing was supposed to keep my magic soul from cracking any further, and it took a long time because the damage was already severely bad.

Jrake and Klane explained to me all the things about my sickness, a few hours after Hod and the others left.

They told me that in order for me to control my magic soul from cracking, I need to stop using magic. And since this sickness also affects my strength, I have become so much weaker compared to before. Right now, I can feel as if I'm down to at least a fifth of my original strength. 

Though my magic points still show the same, I can feel the restrictions my body is going through. This sucks.

So, I can't use magic, my body is a lot weaker, and my hands just can't stop trembling.

And I just... can't stop crying for some reason.

Jrake and Klane had to hug me before they left the room. They told me that I can leave any time, just that I needed to always remember to do healing sessions on myself at least once a day. They looked at me once with a pained face before they closed the door.

After they left the room, I cried heavily again.

I lowered my body to the bed, and I looked at the ceiling.

I thought I already decided I won't be weak from the beginning. Then why am I crying like this?

Never once... had I thought I was this bad of a crybaby. Although, the source of the sadness wasn't exactly the thought of losing magic.

It's the fact that I almost died. Again.

I was so close to dying again. When I fell on the floor of the Office that night, I could feel the grim reaper waiting right next to me. It felt so painful that death might've been a saving, that was how close I was to dying.

Tsk... I just can't rest easy in this world, can I?

I guess this is my punishment for being too naive. I relied everything on magic, ever since coming here. I enchanted my body using magic so that I can move easily and lift heavy things. I used magic to slice through the body of monsters. And recently, I used magic to burn corpses of red orcs.

I relied too much on magic that I forgot. My previous life didn't have magic, but I can still become the second best student in my school.

I don't need magic.

I can live normally.

I don't need it.

I lifted my body and got out of the bed. My body is so weak, and I can barely stand normally. However, I kept on trying to force myself, no matter how hard it was.

I tried walking around in the room to see if my body could get used to moving. Turns out it can. After walking inside the room for five minutes, my feet slowly got used to walking and my hand can move normally. 

I left the room after I got used to moving, and I guess this is a little earlier than anyone expected.

"Rize?"

Klane looked at me with a surprised expression. She is currently handling an adventurer at the receptionist.

What time is it? Why are there so many people here?

"I'm feeling fine now, I want to go back."

"But, are you sure you are really... Fine?"

She tilted her head a little downwards. The adventurer in front of her followed her gaze to look at me.

"I'm sure."

"Hmm..."

I continued my walk while waving my hand at her. She then continued her business with the adventurer, who seemed to be asking what's going on.

As soon as I opened the door, the sunlight burned my eyes.

It's noon... Holy hell, how long was I out?

I turned my path and walked straight to my inn. The sounds of carriages and people walking here and there can be heard more sensitively from me. And the longer I walk, I can feel it getting even worse.

It's the same feeling I get when I'm tired, close to passing out. I am back to how I was when I first arrived in this world.

"Tch."

I decided to take a rest and eat at a small diner nearby.

"Hey, it's the young lady!"

Huh? Does the shop owner know me? Did I come here often?

"Good day, uncle. A single chicken soup, please."

"Chicken soup in the middle of the day? Your funeral, lady!"

He turned his back and started cooking, and I turned around to see the road outside. The sound of carriages moving around and people talking can be heard normally as I controlled my breathing. It's much louder than before, and it felt like my senses somehow turned more sensitive than before.

I am... very tired. How long was that walk? Three minutes? Maybe four?

Doesn't matter, that walk was very short. Doesn't even reach a quarter of a kilometer. And yet, I was tired beyond normal.

If this goes on... what will I do?

After eating my chicken soup, I walked back to the inn, which wasn't as far from the diner. Once I arrived, I quickly sat down on the floor and meditated.

Usually when I meditate, I am able to feel my magic energy much better. I can feel it flowing through my body as if it was my blood.

But right now... I can't feel a thing.

Panicking, I tried using magic. I conjured a very small fire ball in my palm, and I let out a sigh in relief.

So, I can use magic. But, why can't I sense my magic energy?

I took out my magic tool that can calculate my magic energy and points just by imbuing it with magic. But as soon as the results came out, I was shocked.

My magic energy is... Only 9.

And my magic points are 7653.

Well... This is surprising.

Whatever is going on with this sickness, apparently it didn't affect my magic points. But, it did affect my magic energy.

Maybe the sickness is attacking my ability to regenerate magic energy?

Like a broken glass cup. Every time you fill it with water, the water will only flow out.

I tried focusing on gathering energy from the air. I checked my magic energy once more, but it only rose to 13.

Usually, a single second of gathering energy from the air can give me at least 50. But now it only adds 4.

This is certainly... abnormal. However, I think I get the gist of what's happening.

I ended up doing a healing session on my body, since I myself don't know what to do. This is my only option. I need to learn to heal myself 24/7 as well as continuing to gather energy at a mass amount.

I did a healing session for three hours straight afterwards. After that, I fell on the bed because I'm too tired, and I slept until the sun went down.

Is this... how my life is going to be from now on? Wake up, do little chores, heal, and go back to bed?

It's so... depressing.