My Empty Mind. My Future

Chapter Thirty-One:

I blankly look at the horizon I just silently look far beyond without any thoughts. Nothing at all simply blank.

"What are you doing my Lady?" Wei asked when she came.

"Staring." I simply answered.

"What are you looking at?"

"Just… staring."

Wei looks at me seriously and I can see it through my peripheral vision but I just keep staring for nothing. I don't know but my mind suddenly filled with nothing, it just empty. Simply empty even my vision was blank. As if everything that surrounds me looks empty, nothing but just an empty plain.

"What are your thoughts? Tell me." Wei seriously asked.

"Nothing. Really. Nothing."

"I don't believe you, so tell me what is it? What is troubling your mind?"

I deeply sigh. "Have you ever felt or experienced that everything that surrounds you suddenly looks empty? As if… there is nothing. Just simple. Nothing. Empty."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know too." I honestly answered and then I sat down on the grass. "I just simply see nothing. But even my mind was all blank. I just lost my mind and felt so relieved."

"Is it about the dream that you were talking about?"

"… Maybe that's one reason. But still, I don't know." I said as a shrug and still my mind doesn't function. "I feel nothing at all, Wei. As if, I'm not belong here."

"What are you talking about my Lady?"

"Wei, what if I give them what they want?"

"What! No! You cannot! And even Sir Haimon won't let that happen."

I smile because she was right, Haimon won't let me die but that dream I had dream. I already understand it now. It took me long before I finally understand it, I saw myself, the different self of mine. Myself from the future… that only means, I will soon die just to fulfill that future I saw. Though I know, Haimon won't allow it to happen no matter what happens. He will eventually give up his life just to save me but for how long will he do that?

I am not so sure he can save me until the end. Not that he cannot fight but because there are lots of risk that he or we need to sacrifice. Sacrifices that will never prevent if he will choose to save me and I don't want that to happen, I just couldn't accept it.

I love Haimon with all my heart and yet that love will never be enough to save me from the hands of our own kind. The desire to escape the curse given to us will still prevail over them. That whatever restraint will do they will and still will make way for the appointed sacrifice to take place.

"Hard to explain it now, Wei, but…" I look up to her. "No matter what happens, please don't let Haimon get hurt. Because he is the only man that I ever love even till my next life, I will always love him." I honestly said that grips my heart as I see bright light from nowhere and I knew it was only me who can see it for that, I am so sure. My time is up.

Present…

I'm awake not because of the sun ray that hits my eyes but because of the sudden tears that fall out of my eyes. I just woke up, crying for a reason I don't know. Even my mind suddenly felt so empty that even my whole surrounding became empty and tears me more.

I just silently cry with a heavy heart even though my mind was too light like cotton, my heart feels like rock. Heavy and full for a reason I couldn't explain and when the door suddenly swings open the first and last person that I badly wanted to see was there shock as what he saw. But I don't mind it, I just jumps out of the bed and run through him.

Without a word, I hug him so tight as if this is the first time, I see him. I just miss him so much it hurts. I don't know if it is my feelings or it is from someone. Yet I don't care at all I just wanted to feel him. His warmth and his warm breath that is all I wanted. Nothing else just him!

"Shu?" Haimon speaks but I keep quiet and let myself cry in his arms as I keep holding him tight and he did the same way. He holds me tight and let me cry in silence.

Oh, I miss you so so much, Haimon. My heart screaming but the voice I heard wasn't my voice, it came from someone else that I don't know who. But then, I couldn't resist it and let it handle me even though it really puzzles me. I just let it and hold my husband so tight as if I don't want to leave him again. Never again!

Sage's Residence

"Sai?" Netro asked when he saw me standing at the door post looking at him in silence. "What are you doing here?"

"You saw it."

"What?"

"The vision that you saw," I directly replied because I knew he saw another vision.

"How did you know?"

"You knew I'm one of the Original Witch, and you know how powerful we are to the point that we can also see future just like you."

He sighed. "You were right, I just couldn't believe that…" he suddenly paused and I knew what stop him.

"What you saw is the truth. Her memories will soon restore."

"Then, the sacrifice…"

"We don't know yet. The future can still change so let's just rely on their pure love. It may help them to change the future that was already written."

"I hope so."

"We need to believe not only hope that is our only chance." I replied as we both have the hope and believe grip into our hearts, and I really wish this time it will end.

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