Chapter 8

I want to show this text to my friend, the owner of the coffee shop, then the Islamic-mosque calling theirs follower. A few man go to there, and I still writings. My this friend have ever said that I look like Prophet Idris, the first human have mission to train other human to write, calculating and make clothes. My friend's name is Ibrahim, he have ever being a president of proletarian. It might be like Tan Malaka, the revolutionary in Indonesia Country. But just a few and little bit knowing Seven Shadows is Tan Malaka, including Heru Joni Putra and Harry A. Poeze that unknowing about Seven Shadows.

@

I'm on dizzy, crisis of inspiration for continue this book. I just surrender with a White Flag song by Dido in my imaginary ears. But I want to keep writings this until all of pages bold. How to do? How I have to do? Much of transportation made a smoke that's more dangerous than cigarettes, so I sipping my ice-coffee and being to thinking slowly. Be calm. I remember that's Abdi said to take a slow to write, when his girlfriend take a fever, then my intuition working. Now I know why his girlfriend got a fever, it same like me after raped by Sonya. I get fever too.

@

I'm on talking with new friend—actually his not new, I know him by a couple of months ago, a trader of food if Ibrahim's owner of coffee-shop—about God, then he and his clothes look like Chinese with a hat, he asking me, "What's your purpose in this world?"

 "I don't know that, I just like a river." Respond me.

 "In your perspective, there is God exist?" ask him.

 "Yes, of course." I said.

 "What's the fact?"

 So I search in Google, but I cannot explain the fact how I believe in God. It so hard, but Ibrahim and my one of another friend asking and asking so on, so I go to half of surrender, with white-flag. With my other friends, after 17 August ceremony with red-white flag and proclamation, I said that I'm agnostic. Believe in God but not believe in any religion. But it's just like the long journeys, I will go back to my Prophet Muhammad side after I write an encyclopedia of religion like Karen Armstrong. I titled the writing-project as "Tuhan dan MahaTuhan[1]", a philosophical and theological with named of author: Pelesetupat.

@

With Ibrahim's internet, I play Krishna's theme song by YouTube. Yada-yada Hi Dharmasya. If I look at my brother, Syahreza Adika Putra [my full name Emil Reza Maulana], my brother always reminds me to Sri Krishna. And because Sri Krishna just only have one brother and one sister, so do I was Balarama, the most powerful man and the most strong man in this world, by fact that I have go to Singgalang mountain just with myself only. And our sister is Larasati, the Subadra who marriage with Arjuna.

 But why I called one of my friend's Revati? Even if she not said she's Revati, but she's an Indian-Malay in Indonesia. She not agree calling Vrindavan by her friends, but I show her that I'm Balarama from Vrindavan in the past-life. I am the brother of Sri Krishna and Subadra. And now I have a brother and one sister that I know from my mom. Vrindavan are more than deeper by me than just only as bullying-words.

 But at one morning when she came to Bukittinggi at my house, might be the second one when she slept in Bukittinggi after in Istana Rakyat.[2]

@

A young-man that I called Raito is newest friendship this Monday on 21 August 2023, he's a reporter especially for foods in Bukittinggi.

First we met actually in a couple weeks ago, it might be in July. But I won't to disturb his work to report Ibrahim that I still call Neo-Socrates—that's make my dreams came to be the next Imam Nawawi, the celibate human going to works and kill the time to learn everything with reading and writing and tafakur-activity, deep into criticism be a Pelesetupat that's similar with Eastern-Plato, so that's why in the first book that's told about me, Emil's Mentation, who works by Pelesetupat on 2016 that's publish by underground-ways were I shared on around of Indonesia that have in Eka Kurniawan's hands when I present at his ceremonial-discussion at one of coffee-shop in Padang, Rimbun Espresso and Brew Bar—make me as him student, even if Ibrahim the Neo-Socrates said, "I don't kind of good teacher for you, not enough to do that."

 "But I know you can," said me.

 Raito following my Instagrams' account with named @bukittinggifoodies and after that he go outside, may be go home or another place to meet his friend or his girlfriend or anything else.

 Someone give me and Raito spicy-corn-cake, I'm on eat this when working this paragraph. The spicy-corn-cake called perkedel jagung (per.ke.del = spicy-cake, ja.gung = corn). Before Raito's go leaving us, I said to someone that I haven't found what I have to call in this story. And I don't want to call him by his own real name. Usually a man that I called Mr. Commandos talk with me, he teach me to loving a girl and find any girlfriend who match with me, but he doesn't know my traumatic-moment after Sonya raping me when I slept at her library.

 I have to find the matching name to that someone gift perkedel jagung, or I have to ask him who's named his chosen?

@

"What's your match named in my story, Dude?" said me.

 "Leonardo de Caprio," said him while smoke a cigarette.

 "No, I wanted to Asian-name!" protest me.

 "Kong Jong Nam!" said Big Aboo who is wanted to call Kim Jong Nam than his own name, Big Bro Arif.

 We're laughter together.

 Then the one gave me perkedel jagung said, "Lim Paw Pew.[3]"

 We're laughter more.

@

I'm missing you, My Love. When I play Loneliness by Putri Ariani in YouTube, my soul is bleeding. Hurter memory, where are you now? It's you know where are you? Is it you still health your body and health-mentality? I'm the most broken heart this world and this earth, even I don't have any-chance to be present in Nadia Kennedy's marriage party. I know I cannot love her anymore. I have to let her go, without shake-hand for the last time.

 I'm missing you, Revati. But when you show that you're playgirl on Padang Beach with a few boys that make me confuse whose your boyfriend right now, might be that's my fault that I did when make my Casanova's pseudo-account.

 I'm missing you, Old Friend. Even if I wouldn't sing the title song Someone Like You by Adele that's told everyone understand English know that's you are have someone similar to the singer or central-subject in the song. My old friend are many, even we're going to better than best-friend, being comrade or brotherhood.

@

I'm on chatting with David Reeve that's he was to like this story is better to send by e-mail than just WhatsApp application. I remember when we're first met, when I first look Mr. Reeve in between afternoon and evening like Santa Claus, he gave me his book, Angkot & Bus Minangkabau that was published by Komunitas Bambu because I just a poor man at the time when I'm so young to get one copy with my own money. Might be Fortuna Goddess love with me so her make Mr. Reeve, sketch his own signature and words of hoping in first page of this book.

 And also because Mr. Reeve I know that I whose belong to be, because his said me as kind of that. So I going to my faith as agnostic, except when I'm on Ms Rida's house I do pray to Allah SWT, but it make me get unlucky. Even I don't know is it heaven or hell is existed. "So, what are you will do next? Still being freedom-intellectualist or how?"

 That's freedom-intellectualist. Finally I know how I explain to the people who exactly I am.

 After this script has published, I will go to visit Mr. Reeve in Australia. I will be a citizen up there, being a teacher of Bahasa Indonesia.

@

I can't sleep last night. It's 22 August 2023 right now, I still typing and I remember quotes from Dale Carnagie, "If you can't sleep, then don't try to sleep. You're cannot sleep are not because you're be upset, that's because you're upset. Not because you cannot sleep."

 I still typing, I'm on writing. I just a poor young-man that have biggest dream in this world since I was 4, I want to make money and marry with beautiful woman. Might be Mr. Reeve have a connection for me to open the door and find a pretty lady. I hate hypocrite-human, I will never be like that. Now, it's all reminds me of any girl that I have ever met. But they all it's be just my past only. Nadia Kennedy was intercourse with her husband.

 One by one gone, until my-time change just empty and make me don't have any.

[1] Gods and The Most God

[2][2] People's Castle

[3] Adapted from Limpapeh Bridge at China Town in Bukittinggi City