Him and I

"definitely not" I responded to the text with an angry sticker, but I can't say I wasn't loving the conversation, inwardly I wished he would get more nasty.

"Can I ask you.." I texted.

Lucy caught me smiling like someone who's wedding was tomorrow "is he the one?" She asked.

"Huh, who please?" I turned to stare at her as I looked at her tongue pointing out, licking every part of her mouth. What a silly girl.

"You're not serious" I said , laughing at her weird behavior.

"Ask me what, tell me" he texted.

---------------

The lecturer walked in looking so stressed as he told us all, to get ready for our first test, whispers erupted abruptly as everyone stared at one another.

"We just had two classes from him and now he's going to give us a test?" A girl beside me asked surprisingly, so was I. Honestly I haven't even read for this man's test. At that moment I felt nervous and unstable. I can't fail in university, that wasn't my promise to my parents.

I sighted Philomena as she walked in, one look at the class she noticed there was something wrong, she greeted the lecturer and came directly to were I sat.

"Is there something I'm missing?" She asked.

"Well nothing much, the news now, is we are having test, history 101"

"Like now?" I nodded in response, I myself didn't know this was how studies would be here, gosh I prayed for it not to hold, I couldn't bear failing...

"I'll dictate the questions now, take note" the lecturer said as he walked seat by seat.

-----------

I sat in the library thinking of how my test went, wondering if I actually wrote something reasonable, inwardly I pleaded and wished the man would give another test, at that junction were I felt my studies at the University has just started to take a rough turn, I got a message from Michael on whatsapp.

"How's your studies going?" He texted with a love sticker, this lightened up my day.

"Well it wasn't really as fun as I thought it would be"

"But why?"

"I couldn't write my first test properly, I'm not even certain of my score"

"So sorry about that, but we'll see in church today right?"

"I don't know, maybe"

"What's maybe, I want you to be there" this statement got me so in need of him, I honestly needed a close friend at this moment, and seeing how things are going between us, he's actually been one of the closest people to me now at university.

"Okay, I'll be there" I texted with a smiling sticker.

"Great".

------

"So what happened, why didn't you write well?" Michael asked as we sat close to each other outside after church service as usual.

"I didn't prepare for it Michael" exhaling slowly I smiled sadly at him, he smiled and held my hand.

"Relax, everything would be fine alright"

"I hope so" his warm personality was so encouraging to me, at that moment I felt like resting my head on his shoulder.

As time went by Michael and I became close but not too close cause we always fought, and the reason for our fight was always because of jealousy, he would find me talking to a guy and get pissed off, and I felt the same anytime he talked to a girl, most especially when the conversations takes too long and in the middle of it there are suspicious remarks.

--------

"Katherine" he called out as I sat outside the church waiting for a friend of mine.

"Why are you always getting pissed at me?, I didn't see you at rehearsal last week and I know it's because you're angry with me"

"It's nothing please leave me" averting my gaze away from him.

"How far boss" a male fellow said as he shaked Michel while walking past us.

"I'm good, are you heading home already?" Michael asked.

"No, we still have stuffs to pack out of the hall, I'm still around"

"Okay, good" Michael said in response as they shaked and he walked away.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Why?" I asked, looking angrily at him.

"Let's talk okay" I felt the seriousness in his voice as I responded "yes" I knew our conversation would always end with us making up, we acted like people in a relationship, people around thought we were in a relationship but honestly we weren't.

"It wasn't my fault, I loved him and he loved me but anytime I tell him about us going into a relationship he would say things like "his not good for me and if he would date me, he would hurt me".

He wanted a relationship with me but wasn't ready to accept it because he couldn't be faithful to just one person.

Clearly I was seeing a red flag, but every time I tried to find someone else, my thoughts went back to him and he wasn't ready to date any other girl because of me.

----------

It was midday I went to see Michael, since he proposed for us to meet, this was the second time going to see him at his place. Last time I went with a very good friend of mine who knew him but right now I'm standing at the front of his room door alone.

"Come in" he said as he held my hands, calmly bringing me into his room. I won't say I wasn't a bit nervous and shy, cause honestly I was.

"It's good you're here, be free, be free with me okay"

"Okay" he was shirtless, it would have been more sexually attractive if he had six packs but unfortunately for him he didn't, he only had those charming smiles.

"So I asked you this question online yesterday, I didn't get an answer" he said as he sat close to me on the bed, I could feel my heart beating fast, every sensation in my body wanted to make out with him...

"What question" I asked as I bit my lower lips, breathlessly I stared at him sexually, I could feel he was getting the message my body was portraying...

Suddenly he kissed me, holding my waist tight as he pulled me up from the bed, pushing me towards the wall, I wasn't a good kisser but he was or I thought he was, cause I clearly didn't know how a good kisser should kiss, he sucked every saliva that gathered in my mouth, gosh I literally thought he was going to swallow my tongue the way he sucked it.

"I don't want sex, please" I said as his hands moved all over my body.

Same did mine.