Him and I

"I'm not going to have sex with you," he muttered softly as he stared seductively at me. I took a deep breath. I tried to clean off the stain of his saliva on my lips as he forcefully grabbed me by the waist and kissed me again.

My hands went down his underwear, only for me to feel a hard figure underneath his underwear, "gosh, what's this?, Why's his pecker this strong?" I asked inwardly, this was something I've never seen before. I might have been taught about it in highschool but I didn't know it was going to be actually this hard.

I pulled away from his grip as I tried to control my anxiety, I was too afraid of having any sexual intercourse.

"I told you I won't sex you" his eyes averted mine, his facial expression could show he wasn't bothered about my sudden resistance.

He went to sit on a plastic chair close by, I didn't want him to think I was afraid of him or something so I went and sat on his lap.

"There you go, I told you if you let me kiss you, you would be free with me, see how easy it is for you to put your body close to mine" he smiled as he picked up his phone from the table close by.

"Was this guy asking me those questions about sex and kisses online yesterday, because he planned on doing something like that today?, Gosh I can't allow him have sex with me never, I need to realize that this guy isn't meant for me, if he can't date me and want a serious relationship with me that means we are wasting our time " I said inwardly.

"Do you know what this is?" His phone was faced towards me, At first I didn't understand what the picture was, or what exactly the picture meant, it was used as his wallpaper.

"What?" I asked as I looked loser, what I saw gave me the creep but at the same time got me completely honey, it was a picture of a man, with his mouth on a lady's pussy, gosh I couldn't exactly understand why he was doing that, but breathlessly I stared seductively at it.

"What it's called is, oral sex" he smiled nastily and started pressing my butt, I immediately removed his hands and got up, this wasn't the first time he was doing that, he tried touching my butt the first time I came, but I pushed him away and it got him completely angry.

"I..I..I can't have sex" I promised myself never to do so except I'm married, but that thoughts didn't stop me from thinking about what I just saw on his phone, honestly one part of me wanted that and the other part of me got too afraid that in the process of that happening, sex could take place.

I was still a virgin, it's something I protect the most, I take my virginity as a present to my husband and I didn't want someone taking it away from me.

"I've told you I won't have sex with you" he stood up to arrange the bed, he wasn't the only one staying in his room, he had a roommate.

"Next time, I'll have to close these cottons properly, so someone doesn't see us" he whispered to himself but I clearly heard it.

No wonder at first, before the whole kissing stuff started, he had to stand up to make sure the whole room was completely closed, from the door to the windows, only a few cottons were left unclosed properly.

Suddenly a whatsapp text came in, he picked up his phone and smiled.

"It's my ex, she stays next door" he said as he did a voice note for her, clearly what I read from her text, she wanted him to come over, so he could her fix something, "how weird, he's still relating with his ex, I can't believe this, you must certainly be a playboy Michael, and I can't help but think, you are using me" I said inwardly as I gave him a little space and sat angrily a bit far from him on the bed.

"Are you okay" he asked, staring at me for a few minutes and then focusing on his phone again, and this time around he kept on smiling.

"What a stupid fellow" I said inwardly.. She must be saying something sweet and he's falling for it. I so hate him for his playboy personality, but what made me feel I was different from any girl he liked before, was because of the caring attitude he showed towards me.

Like how he defended me in church against one certain lead vocalist and also when I got to learn from a closer friend of mine that he rejected dating other girls because of me.

But still I don't understand him, he said he loved me but can't date me, then why can't he let me go. I wondered as I sat on my own, he acted as if we were dating, but anytime I try to love someone else, he gets hurt.

"What exactly do you want from me Michael?" I asked inwardly as I kept my gaze on him.

Michael is an average guy, with aged looks, he had a bad boy and good guy personality which made girls want him, honestly I can't help but think I was attracted to him because of his bad boy aspect, I felt like he needed someone to change him and I was willing to help.

But what scared me was losing myself in the process of helping him out. He wasn't that handsome but his smart behavior and other cool personality made me fall for him.

Firstly I got attracted to him because he played an instrument, the piano and because he knew how to sing and Loved music. I saw him as someone who could be of help to my music ambition, yeah I wanted to be a circle artist.

"Emm... I think I should start going back home" I said to his hearing.

"Oh really" I nodded and gave a quick smile.

"I believe what happened would be a start of something beautiful between us, you don't have to be afraid or shy around me anymore" he said as we both stood up.

I took a deep breath and nodded.