Love In Limbo

We pull up to my lodge, and I notice a few people milling around, chatting in the evening light.

I take a deep breath, trying to figure out how to thank Kendrick for the meal and the bandage earlier, because I feel now is the right time.

My palms are sweating, so I discreetly rub them on my lap while sneaking glances at Kendrick.

He's engrossed in his phone, and I'm unsure if I should just get out or express my gratitude.

But I'm pretty sure he's waiting for me to leave, so I think I'll just go. My thanks probably don't matter anyway.

But Kendrick has being really confusing, and I need to understand why he's acting this way.

I take another deep breath, swallow hard, and turn to face Kendrick. That's when I notice his subtle frown, and I frown.

I wonder what's troubling him, what's causing his brow to furrow ever so slightly.

Is it something on his phone, or is it a thought that's weighing on his mind?

I find myself wanting to know more, wanting to uncover what's behind that faint frown.

I try to sneak a peek at his phone, but the dark screen guard isn't permitting me, so I focus on his face instead.

But then, my heart beats a bit faster as I prepare to speak.

"Kendrick," I say, and he turns to me, still frowning slightly.

My heart rate slows as I search his eyes for a clue, but his expression remains enigmatic, leaving me wondering what's behind that frown.

Then, Kendrick turns off his phone, puts it away, and smiles at me, which only adds to my confusion.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, still smiling.

His question throws me off for a moment, but I remember my gratitude.

"I just wanted to thank you for the meal and the bandage," I say, my frown gone.

"No big deal, I don't mind at all," he says, his intense gaze making me frown again.

His eyes seem to see right through me, entrancing me in their warmth. But I shake my head, feeling a bit uncomfortable, and reach for the door handle.

"I'll be going now. Thanks," I say.

But then he calls out, "Wait," and I pause, turning back to him with curiosity.

"Can I talk to you for a bit?" he asks.

I hesitate for a moment, but my curiosity gets the better of me, and I settle back into my seat.

"Sure," I reply.

He takes a deep breath before continuing, "I'm sorry."

My eyebrow shoots up, wondering what he's apologizing for - yesterday's drama and harsh words, or something more?

"I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday and for everything that came out of my mouth," he says with a faint smile.

"Why are you apologizing?" I ask, "You're not making any sense."

"Just listen to me Mandy," he says, and I find myself relaxing a bit.

"The truth is, I didn't mean any of it," he continues, but i'm still lost, so I press for more information.

"What are you talking about? You said a lot of things yesterday - which ones are you apologizing for?"

He looks at me with a genuine expression, "Everything. I'm sorry for everything - for saying I didn't like you, comparing you to Kelly, and forcing a kiss on you."

I'm stunned by his words, "Kendrick, I don't get you," I admit, trying to make sense of his apology.

"Can you please explain what's going on? I'm having trouble understanding why you're apologizing for everything when your actions seemed so deliberate."

"I'm so sorry Mandy, but honestly, I don't like Kelly, I-"

"What?!" I interrupt, shocked.

"Yeah, Mandy, it's you I'm into."

My heart skips a beat and my eyes widen in surprise.

"I really like you, Mandy, a lot. I don't have feelings for Kelly; it's you I'm interested in. Kelly was just a distraction because I couldn't get you out of my head after you left. I needed someone to take my mind off you, and that's when I met Kelly, but I don't like her romantically."

I'm lost, my mind buzzing as I struggle to process his words.

"Huh?!" I exclaim.

Kendrick nods, and I'm even more perplexed. "What do you mean Kendrick?" I ask, my voice trembling.

"Yesterday, you told me you didn't like me, and now you're saying you do? That doesn't make any sense."

Kendrick sighs before responding, "Mandy, I was trying to figure out if you liked me for real or if I was just a crush. I know it was stupid, but I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me."

Kendrick's eyes seem sincere, but I'm having a hard time buying it. Can he be telling the truth?

I shake my head, "I don't know, Kendrick. I'm done trusting you. I need to move on."

I see the pain in his eyes, but I'm not going to fall for it. I'm moving forward, and I'm not letting him hold me back.

"You know I have a boyfriend, Kendrick, so I think it's time for you to move on too."

I turn to leave, but Kendrick calls out, "Wait!" and I turn back to him, my hand still on the door handle.

But I'm caught off guard when he pulls out my room key - the one with the blue key holder - from a small compartment in his car.

"How did you get this?" I ask, my confusion and annoyance simmering.

"Didn't you return it yesterday?"

I thought I had it with me the whole time. How else would I have unlocked my room?

He hands me the key, and I take it, feeling a jumble of emotions.

"Sorry I didn't give it back yesterday," he says, his eyes apologetic.

"I was hoping we could hang out, but I guess you need your space, and I should try to move on, but it'll be hard."

His words hit me hard, and I feel a pang of pain and guilt. But yesterday's hurt still stings, and I'm not sure I can trust him again.

"You should know it won't be easy," he says, his gaze intense. "I waited months to see you."

I take a deep breath, my voice rising slightly. "But you just stopped talking to me over the phone."

"How could you do that?" I add, my emotions simmering just below the surface.

"I didn't want to," he says, his voice filled with remorse.

"I thought you were avoiding me because you didn't like me. So, I gave you space."

I look at him incredulously. "You thought I didn't like you, so you started dating Kelly?"

"I told you earlier that Kelly was just a distraction," he explains.

"I don't have feelings for her. It's you I like. I've liked you since that day at the hospital, and I want to be with you."

I'm torn, unsure if I can trust him again. A part of me wants to give him another chance, but that wouldn't be fair to Kelly.

I sigh, feeling drained. "I don't know, Kendrick. I need time to think."

He leans back, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, and I'm left feeling like I'm stuck in a whirlwind. I have no idea what to do.

Then, out of nowhere, he asks, "Can I at least have one last kiss with you?"

I'm taken aback, my eyes flying open in surprise. "One last kiss? Really?"

He opens his eyes, his gaze intense, and says, "Come on, Mandy, it's the least you can do. One last kiss, and we're done. You can go back to your boyfriend, and I'll try to move on."

I'm unsure, my mind racing with conflicting emotions. "One last kiss," I think to myself, the phrase echoing in my head.

Finally, I nod, trying to sound firm, but my voice comes out shaky. "Fine," I say, my heart racing with anticipation.

Kendrick's gaze pierces mine, his eyes burning with intensity as he seems to probe my very thoughts.

He inches closer, his eyelids drifting shut, his head angling sideways in a soft, sweet gesture.

I keep my face still, my eyes locked on his, but my heart races wildly, threatening to reveal my inner turmoil.

Then, his lips brush against mine, a soft yet passionate touch that ignites a spark within me.

I feel myself melting into the kiss, my defenses dissolving as he pulls me closer.

His hands cradle my neck, his lips moving against mine in a gentle yet insistent caress.

I surrender to the sensation, my eyes drifting shut as I allow him to kiss me.

The pleasure is intoxicating, and I find myself opening up to him, permitting him to deepen the kiss, our tongues intertwining in a sensual embrace.

He savors every moment, and I get lost in the passion, but then he pulls away suddenly, his hands still cradling my neck.

Our eyes lock in a fierce stare, and he whispers, "I really don't want this."

I'm confused, unsure how to respond. The abrupt withdrawal leaves me disoriented.

He gives me a soft peck on the lips, and then releases me, leaving me dazed and wondering what just happened.

"I'll catch you later," he says, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything.

I nod quickly, still feeling a bit dazed, and my hand makes a beeline for the door.

I grasp the handle, push it open, and step out, slamming it shut behind me.

I start walking back to my room without looking back, my eyes fixed on the ground.

I'm too mortified to check if anyone saw us kissing; I just keep my head down and hurry back to my room as fast as I can, trying to escape the awkwardness.

...

I burst into my room, shut the door behind me, and then flip on the lights.

Then I make my way to my bed and collapse onto it, still trying to process the kiss. My lips feel tender, and I touch them, remembering the sensation.

I stare blankly at the ceiling, my mind racing. Is it really over? Can I move on?

But...

I'm left wondering what's next, my heart still tangled in our complicated past.

I let out a deep sigh and stretch my arms out to the sides, wondering if anyone witnessed our moment and how Kelly would react if she knew.

My mind swirls with questions and uncertainty as I lie there, trying to make sense of it all.

Then I jump up from the bed and start pacing around the room, lost in thought. I feel like I'm going crazy, questioning every move I make.

I need someone to tell me what to do, because I'm clearly not trusting my own instincts right now.

I collapse onto the bed again, throwing my hands up in frustration. I'm so done with this back-and-forth in my head!

I just want to know what to do, but every option feels like a risk. Ugh, I'm so unsure!

Do I still have feelings for kendrick? Definitely yes.

Do I want to be with him? I don't know!

But then, out of nowhere, Faustina's face pops into my head, and I immediately forget about Kendrick.

My eyes go wide with surprise as I think, what on earth is she doing at IMSU?!

I rummage through my bag and finally find my phone, but the sight that greets me is unbearable.

It's barely six months old, yet it looks like it's been put through a grinder. Geez!

I shrug it off for now, thinking I'll deal with it later.

My priority is to make a call, so struggle to press the dial button, but finally manage to call my mom, and she answers right away.

"Hey, sweetie, how are you?" she asks, her voice warm and cozy, with the TV chattering away in the background.

I feel a wave of relief flood through me just from hearing her voice. Now, I just need to spill everything to her and get her take on this crazy situation!

"Hey, Mom, I'm good," I reply. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

"What's up?" she asks, and I take a deep breath before telling her about my encounter with Faustina, leaving out the part about Kendrick.

And after revealing everything, my mom is equally shocked, her voice filled with concern.

"Amanda, stay away from her, okay? Don't get mixed up with her," she warns.

I quickly agree, "Okay, Mom, I will."

We chat for a bit longer, but the conversation is cut short when I hear the doorknob turning.

"Mom, I have to go," I say hastily,

"Bye!" I hang up the phone just as the door slowly opens.

But then, it bursts open, and Kelly storms in, leaving the door wide open.

She marches straight to her bed and collapses onto it, her body language radiating distress.

Has she discovered the event that occurred between me and kendrick? Oh no, this isn't good.

I quickly get up, close the door, and lock it, ensuring our privacy.

As I turn back to Kelly, my fear and concern deepens. "Hey, uhm, what's wrong?" I ask.

"I hate him!" She suddenly yells.

The sudden outburst startles me, and I recoil in shock. But just as quickly, her anger melts into uncontrollable sobs, leaving me stunned and perplexed.

But then, Kelly's just loses it, and she begins to trash her bed, ripping off the covers, and sending pillows and blankets flying everywhere. Even her bag isn't spared from her fury.

I dodge an incoming pillow and step aside, watching in concern as Kelly breaks down on the bed, her body shaking with sobs.

I approach her slowly, my arms at my sides, and ask softly, "Kelly, are you okay?"

But she's beyond consolation, her hands covering her face as she yells, "No, I'm not okay!"

Her body wracks with sobs, and she demands, "What did I do wrong?!"

My heart sinks, realizing she must have discovered my secret about Kendrick and me.

Then I sit down beside Kelly and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Kelly, it's not what you think," I say softly.

"Then why did he do this to me?!" she wails.

I take a deep breath and try again. "Kelly, I'm sorry..."

Buy she interrupts me, her voice cracking. "What are you sorry for?"

She turns to me, her eyes blazing with pain. "It's not your fault...I guess I wasn't perfect enough."

"Don't say that, Kelly. You're perfect for him."

"Then why did he break up with me?!" she yells.

I'm taken aback, my eyes flying open in shock. "Huh?!" I exclaim, realizing Kelly has no idea about Kendrick and me.

But did she just say Kendrick broke up with her? That can't be right.

"He told me to meet him at the cafe...and he said he didn't want to do this anymore."

I withdraw my hand, frowning in confusion. Why would Kendrick break up with her? Didn't we agree to move on?

Kelly's anguish pours out as she asks, "Wasn't I perfect enough? What did I do wrong?"

I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close, trying to offer some comfort, but I have no words to soothe her pain. I'm just as lost as she is.

I'm not gonna lie to her and say everything will be okay when it's not. I'm probably the reason Kendrick dumped her.

All I can do is rub her back and let her cry on my shoulder.

...

Later, I start cleaning up her bed, putting all her stuff back in order.

She's still in the shower, and I'm relieved nothing's broken. But as I tidy up, I can't help but feel like I'm cleaning up the mess I made.

After finishing up, I settle into my own bed and grab my phone to text Kendrick.

I hesitate for a moment before sending the message: "Hey, want to meet up tomorrow at 5 pm after lecture?"

To my surprise, he responds right away: "I'll pick you up."

I feel a pang of guilt as I set my phone aside, realizing that I'm essentially betraying Kelly's trust. This isn't right.

But we just need to talk on why he broke up with Kelly. She didn't do anything wrong to deserve any of this.

I let out a deep sigh and pull out my notes, including the one Niella gave me, and start filling in the blanks.

I thought Kendrick was genuinely interested in moving on, but now I'm starting to wonder if he's just playing me. Or is he genuinely interested in me?