Struggle Is Real

As I slowly come to, I'm met with an intense wetness and painful cramping in my stomach that leaves me tossing and turning, clutching my belly in discomfort.

It's the second day of my period, and I'm on high alert for any signs of staining - it's always the worst day, with the heavy flow making me feel like I'm gushing.

Despite years of dealing with this, I still can't get used to that uncomfortable sensation, and my anxiety is heightened by the fear of getting stained in class.

To make matters worse, my entire body aches from yesterday's beating, adding to my misery.

I removed the bandage Kendrick applied last night, and since I don't have a replacement, I'll leave the injury uncovered for now.

Despite my discomfort, I need to get ready for class today. On a brighter note, my conversation with Chisom last night lifted my spirits.

She apologized profusely for standing me up yesterday, explaining that her phone had died during an online project, and an early morning class had left her unable to make it on time.

Although I expressed my frustration and anger over the phone, I opened up about my ordeal, and Chisom listened with empathy, promising to make amends by picking me up at 8 o'clock this morning.

I toss off my blanket and struggle to stand, feeling a tightness and heaviness in my lower abdomen.

As I approach the light switch, I notice a faint sound of music playing outside - it's a Rema song, one of my favorites!

I can barely make out the tune, but the distinctive beats and lyrics are unmistakable. I'm a total fan.

I flick on the light switch, but Kelly immediately starts murmuring complaints, tossing and turning in frustration.

"You should be grateful I woke you up," I say with a chuckle, heading back to my bed to grab my phone.

"Otherwise, you'd be complaining that I didn't wake you up," I say with a hint of sarcasm.

"Just five more minutes..." Kelly mumbles, her voice muffled by her pillow. "I'm sure it's only three o'clock."

I hold up my phone with the cracked screen, "Uh, nope! It's already 6:35! Rise and shine!"

"Come on, Mandy... I don't feel like going to class today."

I drop my phone on the bed and head towards the wardrobe, "You don't feel like going to class?" I repeat.

"Of course I don't, I'm the one who's heartbroken here! I'm not exactly in top form to go out and face the world today, you know?"

I shrug as I scan my hangers for a dress. "Well, I think that's a good idea."

I pause and glance at Kelly. "But don't eat any of my food."

Kelly looks at me innocently, "Why would I eat your food?"

"You always like to eat the food I make, and you don't even cook. I'm worried you might devour everything in the pot and rummage through my things."

"I won't, I won't. Just let me be," she mumbles as she drops her head back onto her pillow, but I'm not convinced.

I shake my head and continue getting ready, pulling out a black jean short that falls just below my knees and a long black long-sleeved top to cover my backside in case of any menstrual stains. I want to be prepared and feel comfortable today.

I gather my essentials and set them on the bed, including my towel, which I drape over my shoulder.

Then, I head to the bathroom to freshen up. After a few moments, I finally feel ready to take on the day.

I've got my nerves under control, and I'm feeling excited for my second day of class.

Despite my menstrual cramps, I manage to whip up a quick meal of noodles. My appetite is lacking due to the discomfort, but I leave a small portion for Kelly, reminding her to eat it before it gets cold.

I'm not feeling inspired to cook much else, so noodles will have to do.

With my dishes done and my bag packed, I feel a sense of accomplishment flood through me.

I had pulled an all-nighter to complete my assignment, but it was worth it. Now, I'm feeling more confident and prepared for the day ahead.

Kelly, on the other hand, is still cozy in bed, her blanket wrapped snugly around her waist.

I grab my phone and struggle with the cracked screen as I dial Chisom's number. She answers almost immediately, assuring me she'll be here soon.

To pass the time, I decide to sit back in bed and scroll through my phone, waiting for her arrival.

But then, my eyes land on the WhatsApp logo at the top of my screen, and I scroll down to reveal a message from Daniel.

I squint, struggling to make out the words, and finally, the text comes into focus: "Hey Mandy, how are you? How's everything going?"

I press my lips together, feeling an inexplicable sensation, one that I can't quite put my finger on.

It's as if I'm hesitant to respond, almost as if I'm betraying him by reading his message.

But we've always chatted regularly, and I've never felt this way before.

I shake off the feeling and scroll down to respond, my fingers tracing the rough, damaged skin on my phone's screen.

As I type out my response, I can't help but wonder why I felt that sudden pang of hesitation.

But then I type out a reply: "Hey Daniel, I'm good, and things are going well over here, I guess."

Then I hit send, and the message disappears into cyberspace. We end up chatting, and he asks about my first day.

After some hesitation, I share my experience with him, including getting beaten up and my phone getting broken.

I also mention that a friend saved me, but I don't reveal that it was Kendrick. He assumes the friend was a girl, but I correct him, saying it was a guy.

I sense a hint of jealousy in his response, which makes me feel guilty for not being clear about my relationship with Kendrick.

But as we continue chatting, I realize that I don't have romantic feelings for Daniel. I thought I could move on with him, but I don't think so.

Besides, he's far away from me, and those kind of relationships don't really work out, so it's a no no.

But I'm not sure why I didn't clarify my relationship with Kendrick earlier, but I'm glad I can be honest with myself now.

I exit the chat, using the excuse that I'm running late for class. Maybe I'll clarify things with him tonight.

Moments pass, and Chisom calls that she's on her way to pick me up.

I decide to use this opportunity to familiarize myself with the environment, so I won't have to depend on anyone to help me find my faculty building next time.

As soon as she arrives, she gives me a big hug and apologizes profusely for not being able to help me yesterday and for what happened to me.

She promises it will never happen again, but even her assurances can't change the fact that it did happen.

After an awkwardly emotional moment, we head out of my room and start making our way to my faculty building.

I'm grateful for Chisom's support, but I know I need to take control of my own navigation and safety on campus.

As Chisom leads me to my faculty building, I'm keenly aware of our surroundings, my head spinning left and right as we chat.

I'm determined to memorize every detail of our route, making a mental map to ensure I can find my way back.

When we arrive, I breathe a sigh of relief, feeling a sense of accomplishment that I'm not late today - a small but significant victory!

After a warm goodbye hug with Chisom, I step into the building, surrounded by the hum of conversations.

The atmosphere is electric, with students engrossed in animated discussions, while others scramble to their seats.

Amidst the bustle, I feel unexpectedly calm, and I take a moment to collect my bearings before making my way to the front row.

I settle into the same spot I sat in yesterday, then pull out my notes from my bag.

And also, I notice that no one seems to like sitting in the front row, but I prefer it. I've always preferred it.

As I wait for the lecturer to arrive, I scan the room for Niella, wondering if she's already here or just running late. But she's nowhere to be found.

I shrug, thinking I'll give her, her notebook another time.

Then I begin flipping through my textbook, but my eyelids soon grow heavy, and I rest my head on the table.

Just as I'm starting to doze off, a thud beside me startles me awake.

I turn to see a fallen textbook with sleek blue covers and some writing on it.

A yellow hand reaches down to grab it, and my gaze follows the arm up to the owner's face. To my surprise, it's Faustina!

As soon as our eyes meet, Faustina quickly hurries off, leaving me staring after her as she rushes to the back seat.

My mom has warned me to stay away from her, and that's exactly what I plan to do.

I won't chase after her like I did last time; I'm done with her. She can avoid me all she wants.

Just as I'm thinking this, the lecturer arrives, and I'm excited to see it's a woman - Mrs. Adaobi, our English teacher.

She exudes confidence and authority in her flowing gown and glasses, immediately commanding the class's attention.

As she begins the lecture, the class falls silent with her voice the only one echoing in the class.

I'm really enjoying university so far - referring to today, and I'm determined to keep it that way by attending lectures early, doing my assignments, reading books, and making friends.

I'm focused on creating a positive experience for myself, and I won't let anyone - including Faustina - derail me from my goals.

Speaking of making friends, I realize it's an area I need to work on because I'm bad at it.

Soon enough, the lecture comes to an end, and as Mrs. Adaobi leaves, the class erupts in noise again.

But then, I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I look up to see Niella!

Her presence instantly puts a smile on my face, and I quickly hand her the note I've been holding onto.

"Thanks for yesterday," I say, and she responds with a warm smile, "no problem."

She sits down next to me, and my excitement grows, and I watch as she puts her book away and turns to me with a curious expression.

"So, I never got to know your name yesterday. Do you mind telling?"she asks, and I happily introduce myself, "My name is Mandy, short for Amanda, or Chimamanda."

Niella nods thoughtfully. "It's interesting how Amanda is also an English name," she says, and I smile wider, enjoying our conversation and the connection we're making.

But just as we're getting started, a voice interrupts us, "Attention everyone!" A male figure at the front of the class calls out, but I'm too distracted to listen to what he's saying.

I feel a sudden and intense rush of blood flow, and I clench my teeth, trying to cope with the uncomfortable sensation.

Ugh, I hate menstruation! And to make matters worse, I can feel the bumps all over my skin.

This is so frustrating! I feel like my body is betraying me, and I just want to focus on what that guy is saying, but I can't.

Why did this have to happen now?!

Just as I'm trying to manage my discomfort, I notice the guy who was talking is now walking around collecting notebooks from everyone.

I frown, confused - what's going on? What note is he collecting?

I was too distracted by my period to listen to what he said, and now I have no idea what's happening.

I glance over at Niella, who's rummaging through her bag, and ask, "Did you hear what he said?"

She looks up with a smile and explains, "He's collecting the assignment from yesterday."

I breathe a sigh of relief, feeling a bit better now that I know I've completed mine.

"Thanks," I say to Niella, and she nods before putting her book away.

I pull out my own notebook and set it on the table, ready for when he comes by to collect it.

As we continue chatting, Niella and I discover we have a lot in common - from music to movies to TikTok videos.

We laugh and chat, and I start to feel more at ease around her.

Despite my efforts to focus on our conversation, though, I can't shake off the discomfort of my period.

I try to push through, not wanting it to ruin my newfound connection with Niella.

I can literally feel the blood flowing, and every time I laugh, it's like more blood is rushing out.

The cramps are making it worse, and I find myself squirming in my seat, worried about standing up. What if I've stained my clothes?!

I have an extra pad with me, but I don't know where I can change if I need to. I'm trying to stay calm, but it's hard not to worry.

Luckily, my long top covers my butt, which helps reduce my anxiety a bit. And I manage to keep smiling, trying to hide my discomfort as I continue chatting with Niella.

I'm determined to enjoy our conversation and not let my period get the best of me!

But then, I'm relieved when another lecturer, Mr. Michael, our math teacher, arrives and distracts me from my discomfort.

As the day goes on, lecturers come and go, assigning us work and leaving me to deal with my growling stomach and worsening menstrual cramps.

The discomfort is unbearable, and I can't help but think about how I should have brought food with me. But for now, I have to endure.

To make matters worse, I remember that Kendrick is coming to pick me up soon, and I haven't even gotten up from my chair since class started.

Niella is now at the back of the class, chatting with some people, and I'm hesitant to ask her for help.

I feel stuck and unsure of what to do, trying to balance my physical discomfort with my desire to maintain my independence and not burden others with my struggles.

I would have loved to ask Niella for help, but she's too far away. Great, just great.

I'm left to suffer in silence, waiting for Kendrick to arrive and hoping that I can make it through this ordeal without any further embarrassment.

As the last lecture comes to a close, the class starts to empty out, but a few students linger, chatting with each other.

The room is gradually clearing out, with some students packing up their belongings and others engaging in conversations.

Just as I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one left, Niella calls out to me from the doorway, "Hey Mandy, see you tomorrow!"

She waves enthusiastically, and I return the gesture with a smile, trying to hide my discomfort.

I'm grateful for her friendly gesture, but I'm still anxious to get out of there and find some relief from my menstrual cramps and hunger.

Just as Niella disappears from sight, Kendrick walks in, his eyes fixed on his phone as he approaches me.

He's dressed in his signature baggy style, which makes my heart skip a beat.

His backpack is slung over one shoulder, and he's wearing a black earpod in one ear, adding to his effortless cool vibe.

My heart flutters at the sight of him, and I can't help but feel drawn to his laid-back charm.

But then he glances directly at me, and our gazes lock.

I watch, entranced, as Kendrick approaches me, a smile spreading across his face.

He takes the empty seat next to me and turns to me with a warm gaze. "So, where should we go?" he asks, his minty breath wafting into my nostrils.

I feel a rush of excitement at his proximity, but my discomfort and hunger still linger, making me hesitant to respond.

"Uhm, we don't need to go anywhere," I respond softly.

"In fact, I don't know anywhere. I just wanted to talk to you.'

As I glance around, I realize the hall is now empty, with only the two of us seated in the front row.

I double-check to make sure, and yes, we're alone.

Then I turn back to Kendrick, my expression changing to one of embarrassment. "Do you know where the toilet is?" I ask, trying to sound casual.

But Kendrick lets out a short chuckle, and I stare at him in confusion.

"What's funny?" I ask, but he just shakes his head, "It's nothing, I promise."

"Why did you laugh then?" I ask with a slight frown.

"It's nothing really," he says with a smile.

I reluctantly let it go and then ask again, this time my voice lower.

"So do you know where the toilet is? I really need to go."

Kendrick's smile widens, and he nods, "Yeah, I know where it is. Let's go."