Screw Cultivation!

"I HATE cultivation worlds!" 

A youngster's voice resounded in the palace of gold. 

All around Gray, there was opulence. Gold tiles, gold walls, gold furniture, gold statues, a gold fountain on the side, and even gold toilet paper! Yet, he didn't give a damn. 

No, at this moment he was furrowing his brows while sighing and clicking his tongue. 'Oh well, better get back to work I guess...'

He sat in the middle.

He closed his eyes. 

He focused.

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!]

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!] 

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!] 

With every passing second, he was absorbing an ungodly amount of Qi from Heaven and Earth, enough of it to scare even a god.

Then again, most "gods" were simply immortals playing deity as they scammed poor blokes. He knew because he had done the same so many times, until even that got boring. 

He had long grown homesick, this place becoming torture to him. 

"Sigh. System, how long till I can go home?"

Only silence answered him. This "OP" system of his? It would mostly compile information he already knew, recording all the crazy techniques he had encountered in his long life. 

"Fine, how about this? How long till the next reincarnation?"

[69 Sextillion XP Until Level UP!] 

[Please Work Hard! ^_^v] 

In the Golden Palace, endless curses resounded only to stop an instant after. Actually it wasn't that bad. A mere 30 years would pass in a flash! Thus Gray kept training… 

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!]

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!] 

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!] 

So close, he was so damn close he could feel it! 

In fact, he was so focused on cultivating that he totally missed the home invaders that were marching in. At that very moment, a sea of cultivators was pouring in his domain. 

Cultivators… Drug addicts that fought one another for Supremacy. Greedy, treacherous, hungering for power, and always fighting! They were a goddamn plague. 

A plague that came with nonsense like… 

'Courting Death'

'Power is everything!'

'Grovel and beg for mercy!' 

'All the jade beauties are mine!' 

Yet, a bunch of those madmen had come together, carefully treading the golden palace like their lives depended on it. After all, they all knew what this place was. 

This was the Heavenly Palace! 

This was the source of all Qi!

This was… a HUGE deal!

"Careful everyone. Who knows what crazy traps we'll encounter! The Golden Immortal wouldn't just leave his old dwelling open for everyone to ransack!" 

One cultivator wisely added, his entire body drenched in sweat. So far their journey had been smooth sailing, but who knew how long it would remain like that. 

Besides, the dangers weren't just external… 

Heavenly Meng Dao

Sword Saint Zhang Xuan

Crazy Reverent Fang Yuen

Invisible Dragon Wang Long

Demonic God Apostle: Lie Nie

Necrotic Lord Ainz Ooal Down

And so many more…

Light faction? Sword Immortal? Madman? Proud Dragon? Demon? Literal undead? This was a crazy lineup. Under normal circumstances they would have been duking it out already! 

Who knew how long it would take before their temporary alliance collapsed? They were all here to find a way to ascend, but at the first sign of danger… 

"Ah?! Guys, look over there!" 

That's when they erupted in a room of Gold. 

Gold tiles, gold furniture, gold statues, a gold fountain, strange gold rolls, and ALL of it emanating an incredible aura! Yet, it paled compared to the being in the center. 

The Golden Immortal. 

An Old God from the Olden World. 

The Spirit was long gone, but the body was surprisingly intact. 

"A-Amazing! Even from here, I can feel the power!" 

"So can I, but I really thought he'd be more handsome." 

"Tch— Die for a few millennium and see how you look then!"

But as they were all in awe of the being, one of them instantly dashed forward! Why would he wait? If he could devour this God's body he'd instantly rise! 

"Quick, stop him!!" 

"That Goddamn Thrice Reckless!" 

"Hehe, it's all good. I got this. SEAL!" 

With a flash of lightning, rows and and rows of glyphs brightened the room as they all landed on the rogue cultivator and restrained him! 

"There we go. You're not going anywhere, you bast— GASP?!" 

As the prisoner shattered in millions of snake-like swords, they knew they had been fooled! The previous one had been a clone, and as for the real one… 

"As they say, the early bird gets the worm!" 

But before he could reach, his body suddenly started turning into gold?! 

"W-What?! Rebirth Pill! Divine Talisman! Sacrificial Saber! Please HELP M—"

DEAD 

He had died so fast?!

His life-saving measures had been useless. 

"I-Insane! I'm afraid all those golden statues are…" 

"How can a corpse be so terrifying?!" 

"Even dead he's emitting Qi…" 

That's when they felt it. The golden room actually contained a rampaging energy. So pure, so deadly, so boundless! Gasp, that was it! 

They rushed all over the place, grabbing whatever items they could get their hands on! Those items? They all contained that same Golden Energy, albeit in smaller quantities! 

As for the plan...

Step 1: Build some tolerance

Step 2: Slowly Crawl Closer

Step 3: ???

Step 4: Profit! 

And that right there was the beginning of the nightmare. Training was one thing, but they had to do it FAST! They even started popping life savings measures as if rare candy… 

Celestial Resonance Elixir? Gulped down! Heaven's Sword? Absorbed! Primeval Gu? Eaten! Invisibility? Long abandoned! Abyssal Sigil? Used. Undying Phylactery? Sacrificed! 

Millions and millions of Ancient Grade spirit stones worth of stuff were being burned through every second: this was madness! That's when one suggested:

"At this rate we'll lose everything. How about we all agree not to use any treasure? Besides, there seems to be 4 Different Tiers of Energy remaining until we reach the center." 

"Alright, that's perfect! Let's be conservative with our resources, then!" X12

Yet, they all kept blowing treasures up, albeit more sneakily. And just like that they worked hard to reach the Golden Immortal. 

It took a year for Tier 1 

It took ten years for Tier 2

It took thirty years for Tier 3 

There was just one tier left, and god knows how much time?! But that's when the Cultivators turned rabid as they all exploded with power. 

So what if they were half-dead once they reached the Golden Immortal? They just needed a second to steal some of his powers! Knowing this, they went all out! 

"AAAAHHHHH!" 

"RRROOAAARRRR!!!" 

"Rattle! Rattle! Rattle!" 

As they exploded with their trump cards, it wasn't just the air that shook, but the entire Palace! Many of them were even insta-killed, leaving only the strongest six! 

That's when time seemed to utterly stop…

Who amongst them would be first?! 

Who would emerge victorious! 

Who would Ascend?! 

"HEHEHE, I made it!" A certain Sword Saint overcame them all on his flying blade! His hand solidly landed on the God's leg, joy filling his entire being.

Except that was the very moment Gray awoke. 

[Ding! Host Attacked. Retaliate? Y/N?] 

'Naw, no need.' 

Yet, his body still reacted. As the attack landed right under his kneecap, his reflexes kicked in as his leg mightily extended! SMACK! Ah?!... Sword Saint? DEAD! 

Gray opened his eyes to a fountain of blood, before focusing on the red splatter on the ceiling. "Oops? Oh well, better luck next life. Now, pipe down a second I'm busy." 

The crazily powerful cultivators all around? Gray utterly ignored them as he simply resumed his training! After all, he was so very close! 

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!]

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!] 

[+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!] 

He could even be seen smiling, a smile that instantly sent chills down the poor invaders' souls. What the hell was this?! Dead God?! More like Death God! 

Not only that, but they suddenly felt so insignificant. Compared to him they were nothing. Compared to him they were mere bugs! 

"Trash. We're trash. We're…" 

A certain Demonic Nie Lie suddenly started repeating as if a Mantra, shaking all over. And that's the precise moment that his own inner demons decided to strike! 

Those inner demons just happened to be MASSIVE, for he had attained power by cultivating them. That's when he self-imploded. Demonic cultivator? DEAD! 

As for the other ones?! They were frozen in fear, not that Gray cared. [+1 Trillion Golden Sutra XP!] Almost! A little bit more! C'mon dammit! 

[Ding! Congratulation! LEVEL UP!] 

[Mythical Rank → E̴̤̒͒͗R̴̝̰͊̒R̴̘̻̊͂̇Ŏ̵̲R̷̺͒!̸̱̀́ ̵͙̪̾́] 

[Reincarnation Available!] 

"There we go! So what if I can't use spatial magic? This time I'm getting home for sure! I believe!" Gray was already rejoicing, a bunch of cultivators feeling sick. But then… 

[Ding! 10 Billion Reincarnations Achieved!] 

[New Feat! Unlocked Transmigration!] 

"T-Transmigration?! Can I teleport to a new world instantly? Let me guess, still random? How about a modern world at least? Can I keep my powers?" 

[YES!] [YES!] [YES!] [YES!] 

"What are you waiting for?! Send me already! Hell, if I'm lucky I might even make it home directly!" Hehe, he'd soon live the perfect easygoing life! 

[Ding! Initiating Transmigration!] 

[Determining Target World!] 

[Please Standby!]

Never had Gray been in a better mood. Whatever limitations this new skill had, it was bound to be easier to spam than reincarnation, right?! 

But as he opened his eyes, he couldn't help but still.

"Ah? There's less of you guys now?" 

"Y-Yes, Sir Immortal!"

"What happened?" 

A certain Heavenly Meng Dao suddenly felt like killing himself. 

The energy from the recent breakthrough had exorcised the Lich King, a fart had killed the dragon, and even the mad reverend had run away with a time-reversal cicada?! 

Luckily for him, Gray didn't press the issue. 

"Forget it, I'm in a good mood. I'll do a good deed for once."

He did have one healing ability that only worked in his own Palace, but was pretty OP. 

With a wave of his fingers, he sent Golden Tendrils everywhere, the gold statues and the dead cultivators all coming back to life. Except, they looked positively traumatized! 

Not minding their faces twisted in terror, Gray kept going. 

"Clap! You're all so lucky, you get to send me off! Now, should I do a short speech?" 

Send him off? Send him off where? At this moment, an endless number of cultivators awaited his words, perking their ears as their hearts started beating faster.

Except, the speech wasn't what they expected. As Gray recalled the journey full of pointless struggles that had brought him here, he mightily raised both middle fingers! 

"Hehe, I'm bloody out! Screw this world, screw sects, screw the Dao, and screw all cultivators! Actually, now that I look at it, seems I revived a few bastards by mistake…." 

"Screw you!"

"Screw you!" 

"Screw you!" 

"Screw you!" 

As he pointed at them their bodies exploded, turning his Golden Palace a wonderful shade of red. 

This was just in time for an equally bloody transmigration portal to appear and whisk him away. Finally. It was time! But he had barely entered it when... 

[Ding! Wish Granted! A World Where You Can Screw!] 

[Welcome to the Sex-Battle Apocalypse!] 

[Good Luck Surviving ^_^v] 

"What! Cancel! STOP!" Gray hurriedly screamed.

Alas, it was already too late...