Chapter 3 :: rèside

The Space in our Heart

Chapter 3

      Standing in my royal blue lantern sleeve ruffle hem dress. I stood. Lips parted as I stared at Zion who's now kneeling down on one knee in front of me.

"Zion- what?..." I gasped, my trembling hand gripped the bouquet of sunflowers, while the other's on top of my lips. My heart hammered in my chest as he smiled at me, pulling out a black velvet box from his back pocket.

"Jade..." My eyes grew wide as tears brimmed in them. I bit my lips hard when he gently grabbed my trembling hands.

"Can you make me the happiest man tonight..." His piercing gray eyes locked on mine. Pausing.

He took a deep shaky breath. "Will you marry me, darling?."

My lips quivered. Nodding quite to eagerly saying yes with voice pitched too high. Overjoyed. I tackled my now fiance in to a hug, making us fall to the grass covered ground.

We both laughed, kissing me gently before leading us both to stand. He started at me, his hands cupping my cheeks.

"Then can I?"  I looked at him puzzled. Pulling out the ring from the box then looking at me, then my hand.

"Oh! Y-yes!" My eyes averting his when my cheeks grew red. I was too excited. He then gently put it in my ring finger, slowly leading it up to his lips. His gaze never leaving mine as he did.

"I love you, Jade." He said

I stared at him, my smile never leaving my lips as I replied. "I love you too."

◆     ◆     ◆

       Two months ago, if you told me something like this would happen. I'd laughed at your face then tell you to piss off, but...

Why is this happening now? Why has it have to happen now of all times, and why would he even propose to me when he and my sister are having an affair...

I sobbed, followed by fat tears slowly streaming down my cheeks. Why did he do this? Am I not enough? In those eight years—just how long have they've been having... this?!

No, wait maybe... just maybe it's a mistake on my sister's part?. Gnawing the insides of my cheeks, I bend down to pick up the phone. It's cracked. Of course.

Looking at the previous exchange of messages only broke my heart further, like an already broken glass. Only to be crashed more till the powdered remains exists. Why did I even think it's a mistake.

Their third year anniversary was only two months ago. Two fucking months ago. The same two months where he proposed to me! Oh, how can I be so blind... so stupid?!.

Was the ring really meant for me? Or was it an accidental proposal due to me 'accidentally' receiving the message meant for her?... Come to think of it he called me the same endearment he had with my sister, the only idiotic thing I did was to brush it off!. Like always.

I was too blind. My love for him blocked all those obvious hints of Zion and my sister having an affair were treated win an excuse of them 'getting along'. My eyes trailed from the phone, down to the tiled floor.

I need to get out, to breath. To escape. I can't stay here, I don't want to, it feels like if I stayed here longer I'll go insane. All of this... Happening all at the same time are to overwhelming. I stubbled out to the kitchen.

That one moment my heart were fluttering with excitement for our evening and all that's going to happen after that. Our plans... My plans for our future as husband and wife.

I wish I could go back to that moment where I was still blinded by the loving, loyal façade my fiance was playing, but at the same time I don't want to.

My fingers gripped the cold countertop further cracking the already damaged phone underneath my hands. I stared down the trash... Why?.

These tears that seemed to never stop are already getting annoying. I don't want to cry anymore! I don't want to look pathetic anymore.

"Jade honey, I'm here!" That familiar grandiose, high pitched way of speaking. Mom.

I immediately wiped my tears away, plastering a smile. "Mom, can I talk to you for a moment."

The clicking of her jimmy choo's were hurried as it echoed down towards my direction in the kitchen, revealing here wearing a white Chanel dress with gold frills with detailed design to her matching coat.

"Oh honey why aren't you still dressed, and that face!" She walked towards me cupping my cheeks."why so... You look terrible, honey!"

"Tell me what's wrong." She said

My lips formed into a straight line. "Right... Thanks. Mom can we—."

"You know what nevermind mind, we will talk about that later. For now let's get you dressed." She let go of my cheeks and now pulling my hands up to tye living room where my dress laid.

"Mom please listen—." I pulled my hands stopping her. "It's... I..."

"Jade, honey. I know you're nervous I felt that too, but right now you need to look your best for tonight alright." She said giving me a warm smile. I can't phantom how I can't word out what happened, I could just shove the phone on her face to let her know what happening. But I can't. Why can't I?

It just seemed like my body doesn't want to. I nodded at her, she then proceeded to pull me. I don't know why I'm acting like this. Maybe shock for all that just sinking in, but one thing is for sure I don't want that bright smile on my mom's face to vanish... Even for just a while longer I want to see her in this happy state...

I don't know how of when we got up here in my room but we did. How she pulled my fazed self and at the same time grabbed my dress was unknown. But I'm here now in my bathroom zipping my dress up. It was a nude floral print sweetheart neck lantern sleeve dress. Simple but romantic.

I got out from the bathroom to which was were mom is waiting. "What do you mean? Okay that's fine."

"Mom? What's wrong?."

She turned towards me frowning a bit. "Your sister said that the catering had a bit of a hold back so, she's dealing with it. Then, Zion's nowhere to be found so, she'll be looking for him as well."

My face fell. I can't say I didn't see this coming, but it still hurts.

"It's so not like those too to—"

"Mom lets just get to the make up." I cut her off. Turning my back to walk towards my vanity. Damn this sucks. I sat turning my head away as my tears fall. This suck big time.