The Movie

31st Oct 1992

Great Hall, Hogwarts

I gave Dumbledore the signal and the lights were dimmed. The braziers around the hall burned lower, while most of the candles got snuffed out. The giant floating pumpkin heads became the solitary sources of light in the darkened hall. It was then that the room's front lit up with an enormous screen of light, on which appeared three words for everyone to see -

KUNG FU PANDA

"What is Kung fu?" Ron whispered, looking confused.

"Be quiet!" Ginny whispered back.

The scene opened with a mysterious warrior making his way across a rugged landscape.

Narrator: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose Kung Fu skills were the stuff of legend.

He was so deadly in fact that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness.

The audience looked on in disbelief as the warrior defeated hundreds of enemies with complete and utter ease, all while the monologue continued to extol his awesomeness and attractiveness. Soon, the Furious Five appeared and bowed in respect to the warrior.

Monkey: We should hang out.

Warrior: Agreed.

"This is ridiculous!" scoffed Malfoy.

"Ridiculous," Crabbe and Goyle echoed mechanically, while their eyes remained glued to the screen.

The action continued with the warrior leaping off the mountain with the Furious Five into a sea of bandits. He was about to face them heroically, when something strange happened. The scene ended abruptly and in place of the fearsome warrior there lay a panda in a room full of kung fu posters and souvenirs.

Everyone almost laughed out loud realising that what they had been watching was just a dream.

"That was just a dream?" Crabbe asked slowly.

"Aw!" said Goyle in disappointment.

The panda, whose name was apparently Po, sighed. He attempted to kick himself to his feet, but alas his belly was too worthy a foe. People chuckled watching his amusing antics, but their humor turned to confusion when he went downstairs.

"Wait! That's his dad?!" Hermione asked aloud in surprise.

"Shh!" commanded all those around her.

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly and turned to me. "But he's a goose!" she whispered.

"So?" I smirked.

"So," she repeated, annoyed, "how's his father a goose when he's a panda?"

"You tell me." was all I said, leaving her annoyed.

Meanwhile, the view shifted to the courtyard of jade palace, where the audience got the first taste of what kung fu was. One moment, Shifu was sitting peacefully playing a flute, the next he moved like lightning. The audience gasped as he wielded the flute like a staff - deflecting, blocking, dodging, parrying - and sent the attackers flying.

A great contrast was drawn in the next scene between the uptight Master Shifu and the zen Master Oogway. Even watching him for the first time, everyone could glimpse the wisdom held by the aged tortoise from his words.

Oogway: One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

As Shifu started panicking on how to stop Tai Lung, Oogway drew his attention to the Dragon scroll.

Shifu: But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become...the Dragon Warrior?!

Everyone looked at Master Oogway, anticipating a profound answer.

Oogway: I don't know.

Dumbledore lightly chuckled. "I like this Master Oogway," he commented.

"He's cryptic and annoying. Of course you like him," sassed Professor McGonagall, though she did it wearing a smile.

The next day, a tournament was announced to choose the Dragon warrior. All the citizens of the Valley of Peace made their way to the Jade Palace, including Po; although he faces significant trouble from his old enemy - stairs. As a result, he arrives late and the gate shuts on his face.

The students in the Hall chuckled at Po's humourous attempts to view the proceedings, including tieing fireworks to a chair and launching himself in the sky.

"Should we be trying that, brother mine?" said Fred, watching Po climbing up into the sky while shooting fireworks out of his arse.

"Sadly, I don't think either of us has the proper bulk to withstand that kind of landing," remarked George, watching Po come down.

"Agreed," said Fred, morosely patting his lacking stomach.

Po succeeded in entering the courtyard to the delight of the audience, but then came the big twist. Oogway grabbed Po's hand and lifted it up for all to see.

Oogway: The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!

The audience watched in stunned disbelief as the amateur Po was chosen instead of one of the Furious Five. Meanwhile, Shifu's messenger arrived at a prison carved into the side of a frozen mountain, which was guarded by armored rhinos. Here, the audience got their first look at the infamous Tai Lung - a muscular snow leopard bound in a giant piece of tortoise shell and chains.

"That's Tai Lung?" whispered Hannah, unimpressed by his chained form.

"He doesn't look like much," Susan agreed, watching him not move a muscle when the Rhino commander stepped on his tail painfully.

After the Rhino and the goose left, a feather landed in front of Tai Lung. HIS EYES OPENED.

"Eep!" whimpered the girls, watching him grab the feather with his tail.

Back in the Jade Palace, Po met Shifu, who made it abundantly clear that he didn't like the panda. A stroll through the Training Hall displayed Po's Kung fu skills, or rather lack thereof. The audience watched in sympathy as Po's went through the gauntlet, or rather the gauntlet steamrolled Po.

Po: How did I do?

Shifu: There is now a level zero.

The Furious Five were no better, making fun of him and shunning him until Tigress told him straight to his face that he was a disgrace to Kung fu and should leave.

"Why are they so mean to him?" said Harry angrily. "He didn't ask for this. It was Oogway that chose him."

"I hear you. It's not his fault," agreed Neville. "Some people are just jealous."

Oogway found Po under a peach tree. He patiently listened as Po laid bare his frustrations and doubts about his place in the Jade Palace. Many of the students who were not academically gifted and sometimes felt like outsiders in the school, found themselves empathising with him.

Oogway: You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

Oogway's advice about focusing on the present gave not just Po, but also the watching students a lot to digest. At Chogun Prison, Tai Lung used the feather to pick the lock and burst free from the armour. His terrifying display of martial arts shocked the gathered witches and wizards, who had always seen muggles as weak and powerless.

The calm, almost amicable way in which Tai Lung conversed with Shifu's messenger frightened the audience more than any display of violence. It was clear that Tai Lung was no mindless beast driven by rage, but a terrifying enemy in complete control of his actions.

Meanwhile, Po is reinvigorated after his talk with Master Oogway and continues training with gusto, much to the annoyance of Shifu.

Shifu: The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it. To take his strength and use it against him...until he finally falls or quits.

The audience cheered at Po's tenacity and winced as Shifu kicked him down the mountain. As Tigress told her story, the audience came to know of Tai Lung's backstory and finally understood how Shifu turned into a sourpuss.

Shifu received news of Tai Lung's escape and immediately went to meet Oogway. The old tortoise assured Shifu that the Dragon Warrior could defeat Tai Lung as long as Shifu believed in him.

Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!

Oogway: Maybe it can. If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.

Oogway's act of nurturing the peach seed strikes a chord not just in the hearts of the students, but also the teachers.

"That's what we as teachers must always do: have faith in all our students," Dumbledore said to the staff with a light smile.

Watching Oogway calmly accept his end was the emotional peak of the film. Everyone looked on respectfully as the wise tortoise dissolved among a flurry of peach blossoms, forever changing his student's mind. Unfortunately, Po's mind also changed after hearing about Tai Lung's imminent arrival.

"He wants Po to fight Tai Lung?!" Ron whispered to Seamus in bewilderment. "Is he out of his bloody mind? All he did till now was beat the crap out of the poor panda!"

After the Furious Five left to fight Tai Lung, for a moment it seemed like Po's part in the story was over. But then, Shifu discovered that Po was surprisingly good at Kung fu, as long as he was properly motivated.

'He's going to train Po with food?' Ginny thought doubtfully. Then she looked at Ron and remembered how the only time her mom could get him to do his chores was when she denied him food until the work was done.

The audience felt hopeful watching Po go through the training montage and emerge as an warrior who could go toe to toe with Shifu. But those hopes were put in jeopardy when they watched the Furious Five confront Tai Lung on the bridge. Even Tigress, their leader was no match for Tai Lung's ferocity, and it took all of them working together to match his prowess.

"Yes!" cheered the students, watching the Five finally send the bound Tai Lung plummeting into the mist. But their elation was short-lived.

Tai Lung: Shifu taught you well....but he didn't teach you everything.

The audience watched, horrified as Tai Lung rendered the five comatose by striking their nerves with brutal efficiency, proving he had been playing with them all along. Their defeat made Po lose his newfound confidence, until Shifu gave him the Dragon Scroll. Everyone watched with rapt attention as the fabled scroll was unrolled, but no one was prepared for what happened next.

"WHAT?!" Hermione uttered in disbelief. "How can it be blank?"

"Shhh!" said Luna forcefully with narrowed eyes.

"Sorry," Hermione whispered an apology to her friend who was supremely immersed in the story. "Why is it blank?" She asked me.

"Who knows," I said with a straight face. "Let's see if you can figure it out before Po." She cutely hmphed in displeasure.

Meanwhile, left with no other choice, Shifu ordered the evacuation of the valley, while he stayed behind to face Tai Lung. The audience was dismayed, knowing that his former student would most likely kill him. Po felt completely miserable, not knowing what to do. In this hour of need, help came from an unlikely source.

Po's Dad: To make something special, you just have to believe it's special.

Hearing this, the audience is reminded of Master Oogway's last words. Comprehension dawns on Po, and he finally understands that the scroll never mattered in the first place.

"He already is the Dragon Warrior!" Hermione said enthusiastically in realisation.

Tai Lung appeared in front of the Jade Palace like a gust of wind. The following fight between the master and his former student sent shivers across the tables. Their dialogue revealed the true reason for Tai Lung's fury.

Tai Lung: All I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how proud you are, Shifu! Tell me! TELL ME!

Tai Lung's rage-filled strikes eventually overwhelmed Shifu. As he laid defeated in the scroll room, Shifu confessed that his pride over Tai Lung was the reason for his student's ultimate fall, and apologized for it. But it was too little, too late for Tai Lung. He was about to strike Shifu down, when Po finally made it up the stairs.

Contrary to the previous nerve-wracking fight, the climactic battle between Po and Tai Lung was light-hearted, even downright funny. The students chortled at Po's unorthodox techniques, like using cookie-vision to scale the building.

Tai Lung tried to strike Po down with his nerve attacks, but Po was able to defeat him with his new panda-style fighting and finally ended Tai Lung's rampage with the mysterious Wuxi Finger Hold. The movie came full circle with everyone acknowledging Po as the Dragon Warrior and Po finding Shifu alive, who still gets irritated at his new student's antics.

THE END

The screen of light slowly faded and the candles and braziers brightened up the room once more. For a moment, there was complete silence in the Great Hall. I waved my wand and my projector came flying back to me.

Clap! Clap! CLAP! CLAP!

It started slow; with Harry, Neville and Rachel at the Gryffindor table leading the charge, but soon it turned into an avalanche of applause. All the students, including the Slytherins, were openly demonstrating their appreciation for the wonderful film. Even Professor Snape was clapping softly along with the other teachers. In fact, the only people who were not looking pleased in the Hall were a surly Malfoy and a clearly distressed Lockhart.

"Thank you, thank you..." I stood up and gave a bow to my delightful audience. "It makes me glad to know that you liked it...that I could bring some joy and happiness to you with my story," I said with a smile, as the audience quietened to listen to me.

"Even though all these years I have stayed out of the public eye, the publishing House has always forwarded me all the letters that were sent to Richard Castle. I know many of you here wrote to me, thanking and praising me for my works; encouraging me to carry on and do better," I said in a solemn voice, looking around the hall. "Thank you for that. You have no idea how much it meant to me... still does. So, really... Thank you." I smiled, as the Weasley twins whistles sounded above the other cheers.

"On that note, let's say goodnight and meet again tomorrow," I said. "And remember, as Po showed us, while tomorrow may be a mystery, what we do today can improve all our tomorrows." The students clapped one final time, before Dumbledore sent everyone back to their common rooms.

"Hello again, Mr Carlisle," I said, walking up to the reporter. "So, how did you find the movie? Did it live up to your expectations?"

"I think I can safely say that my expectations were completely blown away in every way," he responded. "I find myself oddly at a loss for words...although I'm sure I'll have plenty of things to say tomorrow in my article. Good things, by the way. What you have achieved is simply ground breaking. Good night, Mr Carter. Something tells me that I'll see you again someday. So, until then, good luck." He shook my hand.

"Good night, Mr Carlisle. Take care, Mr Billingsly," I escorted them out of Great Hall. My parents and the Greengrass couple were the next to go, after having offered me their congratulations on a very successful performance.

"Well, that was a very entertaining evening, I must say," Dumbledore said, walking up to me.

"Thank you, professor," I said. "So, how long do you think Lockhart is gonna stick around here?"

"Oh, my dear boy. Between you and me, I think he might just be packing his bags as we speak." He said as his eyes twinkled in amusement.