Chapter 16: Regret

Ethan lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling as the early morning light filtered through his curtains. Sleep had become a rare commodity, replaced by a relentless stream of thoughts and memories that refused to let him rest. The realization of his love for Lily had opened the floodgates of regret, and now he was drowning in it.

He got up and walked to his desk, where Lily's last gift—a simple, handwritten note—sat propped up against a photo frame. He picked it up, reading the words for what felt like the thousandth time.

_"Ethan, remember that you are always in my heart. No matter what happens, I will always love you. Lily."_

The tears came unbidden, rolling down his cheeks as he clutched the note to his chest. "I'm so sorry, Lily," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I should have treated you better. I should have been there for you."

His phone buzzed, snapping him out of his sorrow. It was a message from Tom, checking in on him. Ethan appreciated the concern, but he wasn't ready to face anyone. He needed to sort through his emotions first.

Deciding he couldn't stay cooped up in his room any longer, Ethan grabbed his jacket and headed out for a walk. The fresh air helped clear his mind a little, but everywhere he went, he saw reminders of Lily. The café where they used to have breakfast, the bookstore she loved, the park where they spent countless afternoons.

As he walked, he found himself standing outside the gym where he trained for basketball. Memories of Lily's constant support flooded back—how she would bring him water, cheer him on, and always be there with a smile. He realized how much he had taken her for granted.

Ethan entered the gym, hoping to lose himself in the familiar routine of training. The physical exertion provided a temporary distraction, but it wasn't long before his thoughts drifted back to Lily and the irreversible damage he had caused.

After practice, Ethan sat on the bleachers, exhausted but still restless. The coach noticed and approached him. "You okay, Ethan? You seem a bit off today."

Ethan shook his head. "No, Coach. I'm not okay. I've messed up so badly, and I don't know how to fix it."

The coach sat down beside him. "Want to talk about it?"

Ethan hesitated before nodding. "It's about Lily... and Sophie. I hurt them both, and now Lily's gone. I can't stop thinking about all the things I should have done differently."

The coach nodded, understanding. "Regret is a powerful thing, Ethan. But it's important to remember that we can't change the past. We can only learn from it and try to do better moving forward."

Ethan sighed. "I just wish I could tell Lily how sorry I am. I wish I could take back everything I did to hurt her."

"Sometimes, the best way to honor someone's memory is to live in a way that would make them proud," the coach said. "Use what you've learned to be a better person, not just for yourself, but for the people around you."

Ethan nodded, taking the words to heart. "Thanks, Coach. I'll try."

As he left the gym, Ethan decided to visit a place he hadn't been to since Lily's death—their favorite spot by the lake. The serene environment always brought them peace and happiness. Maybe it could help him find some clarity.

Sitting by the water's edge, Ethan pulled out his phone and started typing a message to Sophie. He had avoided her since the accident, but he knew he owed her an apology, too.

_"Sophie, I know I've hurt you, and I'm so sorry for everything. I understand if you never want to speak to me again, but I needed to say this. I'm truly sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday. Ethan."_

He hit send and stared at the rippling water, feeling a small weight lift from his shoulders. It wasn't much, but it was a start. He knew he had a long way to go in finding peace and forgiving himself, but acknowledging his regrets was the first step.

As the sun began to set, Ethan made a silent promise to Lily. "I will be better, for you and for me. I won't let your memory fade. I'll live my life in a way that would make you proud."

With that vow, Ethan stood up and walked back home, determined to face his regrets and work towards a future where he could find some semblance of peace and redemption.