What is Pain?

Lilith Rosier disapparated with a crack, reappearing at the imposing gates of Malfoy Manor. The stone pillars rose high above her, casting long shadows in the fading light of the summer evening. She pushed open the wrought-iron gates, a sense of satisfaction washing over her. Another mission completed, another victory for the Dark Lord.

The air around the manor was thick with the scent of blooming roses and freshly cut grass, a stark contrast to the blood and chaos she left behind. As she walked up the long drive, her mind wandered to the thoughts that had been plaguing her since the beginning of the summer. She had successfully completed three missions now, each one more challenging than the last. The thrill of the hunt, the rush of power—it was intoxicating. But as the new school year approached, a different kind of dread began to take hold.

Returning to Hogwarts. The thought gnawed at her, a dark cloud over her otherwise triumphant summer. The facade she had carefully maintained for so long felt like it was cracking. The sane, studious girl she pretended to be was a mask she wasn't sure she could wear any longer.

Inside the manor, she was met with the familiar opulence and the chilling silence. The grand entrance hall was dimly lit by the flickering light of torches, casting eerie shadows on the marble floors. Bellatrix would be waiting for her, ready to celebrate their latest victory, but Lilith's mind was elsewhere.

As she climbed the staircase to the second floor, her footsteps echoing through the empty halls, she thought about Bellatrix. The dependency she had developed on Bellatrix was unsettling, even to her. It wasn't just the power and the dark magic that drew her in; it was the twisted bond they shared. Bellatrix was more than a mentor; she was a mother figure, a source of both fear and comfort.

Lilith entered the drawing room, where Bellatrix was lounging on a chaise, her dark eyes gleaming with a predatory light. She looked up, a smile spreading across her face. "My dear Lilith," she purred. "Another success, I presume?"

"Yes, Bella," Lilith replied, her voice tinged with pride. "It went perfectly."

Bellatrix rose gracefully, crossing the room to embrace Lilith. Her touch was both gentle and possessive, a reminder of the power she held over her. "You've done well, my darling. The Dark Lord will be pleased."

As Bellatrix pulled back, Lilith met her gaze. "Bella, the school year is starting soon. I'm not sure I can keep up the pretense. It's getting harder to...fake it."

Bellatrix's smile faded, her expression turning serious. "I understand, Lilith. But you must. The Dark Lord's plans require you to be at Hogwarts. You are his eyes and ears there."

"I know," Lilith said, her voice wavering slightly. "But it's different now. I'm different. The things we've done, the things I've become... I don't know if I can hide that anymore."

Bellatrix's eyes softened, and she cupped Lilith's face in her hands. "You are stronger than you realize, my dear. You have power and control. Use it. Channel it. Remember, you are Lilith Rosier, a force of darkness. But you must also be Lily Rose, the student. The balance is difficult, but you can manage it."

Lilith nodded, trying to draw strength from Bellatrix's words. She knew she had to maintain her cover, but the thought of returning to the mundane routine of school life was almost unbearable. The thrill of the missions, the rush of dark magic, the bond with Bellatrix—it was all so consuming. How could she go back to pretending to be something she was not?

As she lay in bed that night, the weight of her dual identity pressed heavily on her. The darkness that had taken root within her was growing, feeding off the chaos and destruction she had wrought. The dependency on Bellatrix, the need for her approval and guidance, was a chain that bound her tightly.

The thought of leaving Malfoy Manor, leaving Bellatrix, filled her with a sense of dread. Hogwarts had once been a place of learning and ambition, but now it felt like a prison, a place where she had to hide her true self.

Lilith closed her eyes, trying to push away the anxiety. She had to focus. She had a role to play, and she couldn't afford to fail. The Dark Lord depended on her, and so did Bellatrix. She would find a way to maintain the facade, to balance the light and the dark.

But deep down, she knew that the line between Lily and Lilith was becoming increasingly blurred. The darkness was taking over, and soon, there would be no going back.

As the dawn broke over Malfoy Manor, Lilith made a silent vow. She would return to Hogwarts, she would play her part, but she would not let the mask slip. She would remain Lilith Rosier, a disciple of darkness, even as she pretended to be Lily Rose, the dutiful student.

With Bellatrix by her side and the Dark Lord's mission guiding her, she would find a way to navigate the treacherous path ahead. The darkness within her was powerful, and she would use it to achieve her goals, no matter the cost.

The day Lilith Rosier was to leave for Hogwarts dawned with a mix of melancholy and anticipation. The air at Malfoy Manor was thick with the knowledge of her impending departure, and Bellatrix Lestrange was more attentive than usual. The twisted bond between them had only grown stronger over the summer, and the thought of separation left a palpable tension in the air.

Lilith stood in her room, her trunk packed and ready. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting long shadows across the ornate furniture. She gazed at herself in the mirror, her reflection a testament to the transformation she had undergone. The girl she once was had been replaced by a powerful and deranged young woman, consumed by darkness and ambition.

A soft knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. Bellatrix entered, her dark eyes gleaming with a mixture of pride and something deeper. "It's time, my dear," she said, her voice a low purr.

Lilith nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. She followed Bellatrix down the grand staircase, her mind racing with thoughts of the journey ahead. As they reached the entrance hall, Bellatrix turned to her, a rare softness in her gaze.

"I have something for you," Bellatrix said, pulling Lilith close. She pressed a deep, lingering kiss to Lilith's lips, a kiss filled with possessiveness and dark desire. Lilith melted into the kiss, her senses overwhelmed by the taste of darkness and power that Bellatrix exuded.

When they finally pulled apart, Bellatrix smiled, a twisted glint in her eyes. "Remember who you are, Lilith. Remember the power you hold. Hogwarts may try to suppress you, but you are stronger than that. Embrace the darkness within you."

Lilith nodded, her lips still tingling from the kiss. "I will, Bella. I promise."

With a final, lingering glance, Lilith stepped away and disapparated, reappearing at King's Cross Station. The bustling crowds and the mundane chatter of Muggle life were a stark contrast to the dark opulence of Malfoy Manor. She made her way to Platform 9 ¾, her mind still consumed by the taste of Bellatrix's kiss.

The Hogwarts Express was waiting, its scarlet engine gleaming in the morning light. Lilith boarded the train, finding an empty compartment near the back. She settled into her seat, the compartment filling with the familiar sounds of students reuniting and exchanging summer stories.

But Lilith's mind was elsewhere. The taste of darkness lingered on her lips, a constant reminder of Bellatrix's influence. She stared out the window, the passing countryside a blur as her thoughts raced.

How could she pretend to be Lily Rose, the diligent student, when every fiber of her being screamed to embrace Lilith Rosier, the disciple of darkness? The duality of her existence felt like a prison, the mask she wore suffocating her true self.

As the train journeyed north, Lilith's thoughts remained consumed by Bellatrix. The bond they shared was more than just mentor and protégé; it was a connection forged in darkness and power. Bellatrix's kiss had awakened something deep within Lilith, a hunger for the chaos and destruction that defined her new life.

The Hogwarts Express finally arrived at Hogsmeade Station, and Lilith disembarked, her mind still a whirlwind of dark thoughts. She joined the throng of students making their way to the castle, the familiar sight of Hogwarts looming in the distance.

As she crossed the threshold into the Great Hall, the chatter of excited students washed over her. But Lilith felt detached, her mind still tethered to the taste of Bellatrix's kiss. She took her seat at the Slytherin table, her expression calm and composed.

Dumbledore's welcoming speech began, his voice a beacon of hope and unity. But Lilith's thoughts were miles away, lost in the darkness that had become her constant companion.

The school year had begun, and Lilith Rosier was once again at Hogwarts. But the taste of darkness lingered, a reminder of the power and chaos that awaited her beyond the castle walls. She was a disciple of darkness, and nothing would change that. The facade of Lily Rose might be necessary, but Lilith Rosier would always be the true face behind the mask.