Chapter 8: Xenia

Xenia p.o.v.

Before Father could reply anything, I hurriedly walked and stood behind Annie. I'd to just remove my hood and glare at Father Nicholas and he had already known what I wanted.

Clearing his throat he looked back at, a rather too cheerful-looking Annie, " Forgive me, but that place is no good for a lady such as yourself.", He replied politely, giving a side glance to me. Stupid Father...sometimes he acted too humble. Perhaps, I am the only person who had always faced his wrath.

" But Xenia lives there...so why can't I?", Annie whined, "and it's just for today.", She stated, her fingers still wrapped around his palm, to which Father didn't even notice. He let everyone touch him like this...just not me.

If I even accidentally touched him, he acted as if I had sinned...as if my body literally had thorns that could lance his skin...or my touch is burning him. I won't lie, this offends me, is something wrong with me...or he thinks that I am dirty?

The way he was acting around me for the past few days... just made me think that I'd done something so terrible that made him do this to me. I think...no, I am sure, I ruined our relationship, the only person who had understood me, who treated me like his daughter...my filthy desires just made me act like a whore in front of him. Of course, it would be awkward for him to hear my sinful confession, who would want to listen to their daughter's sexual desires anyway. What was I even thinking when I did that...and at top of that, I kissed his jaw and purposely tried to seduce him, he might have speculated my intentions that night...I wrecked everything and I have no idea how to make it right, but, before that, I had to deal with this horseshit.

I put my hood back and strolled angrily in front of Annie, " You should stop comparing yourself to a queen, lady Annie."

" A princess...", she interrupted, " I didn't see a crown on your head yet."

Fucking bitch.

" Show me my quarters, father...", She ordered, to which Father responded by walking towards our tower, like a good priest he is, he never denied anyone...again except me.

Taking a deep sigh, I started following them, endure it; just for one day Xenia...then Annie will return to that big castle for good, I assured myself walking slowly, enjoying the sweet essence of rose in the realm, which intensified at the strong whiff of cold wind.

This entire place is surrounded by massive strong walls, in the middle of the place there is our holy mother church, surrounded by this beautiful rose garden, behind it there is a small backyard where people often sit for work and talk and just beside the garden there is a big rectory, where everyone lives...nuns, children and sometimes we provide shelters for homeless too and I love working there, for my people...seeing a smile on there faces is the best feeling in this whole world.

And then, at last...there is this haunted tower, at the farthest corner of this place, it's the tallest and gloomiest building of this village and rumours are, some ghosts live in this tower. I started to think that they were just rumours as I am living here for almost six years now and the only ghost I'd encountered is Father Nicholas himself.

" Don't you have any maids here?", Annie asked, slowly walking up the narrow stairs, which will get more slender by the third floor as this place is broad at the ground and get slimmer with each floor.

" No.", I replied harshly, not liking the way her hand clenched tightly to Father's muscles, whenever she took a step. Even I hadn't grabbed those strong muscles like this...I hadn't even touched them.

" My heart bleeds for you cousin, living in a place like this... ", Annie mumbled, her voice a little breathless after sauntering so many stairs, " Do you want me to talk to uncle on your behalf... He will surely listen to me, everyone at the castle loves me."

Of course, everyone at the castle loves Annie...everyone treated her like a real princess...She could be a beautiful queen too...the king and queen treated her like his own daughter...Bullshit. I am tired of hearing things like this. And I knew every time Annie flaunted this deliberately, knowing this will hurt me...knowing that I felt sad seeing people had just replaced me, even my own parents. And now, she came here to perhaps took away the only person I have, my Father Nicholas.

But again, he is not mine...he belongs to everyone. And there is no such thing as 'mine' to begin with anyway. Anything could be taken away from you, anywhere, anytime...no matter who you are, a queen or a peasant.

" No need, I denied him before. I don't want to return to the castle.", I told the truth, I really don't want to go back there, not until I become a real queen and I love here more than at the castle so...

" But it's your home.", She countered, finally reaching the fourth floor as we stood in front of my room.

" No.", I denied, turning around and leaning over the pillar, " This... is my home.".

Annie gasped, watching outside the window with me. Gigantic mountains, glimmering in bright yellow sunlight, so high...that it felt their peaks were touching the cloudy blue sky. Cold wind, nuzzled our skin like a feather...air mixed with the fragrance of wet soil and flowers, so fresh that it could soothe the mind and even soul. Who would want to go back to the castle after living here in this heaven...in the presence of god himself.

" You can use Xenia's room for today.", Father Nicholas said from behind, making us look back at him. My hood wasn't on my head anymore, taken away by the sharp wind. I didn't bother to wear it back as inside this tower, I live however I like. If Annie wanted to snitch this to my father...she can, I don't care.

" Thank you, father.", Annie rasped, walking inside my room but then stopped and looked back, her amber eyes met with Father Nicholas, " And I appreciate it if we could talk alone..."

Before he could reply anything she smiled mischievously and ran inside my room, closing the door behind her. What the serious hell was that... Father Nicholas also seemed taken aback by her peculiar behaviour as he looked between me and the closed door, before coming closer to me, " Why is she here exactly?", He asked, whispering lowly.

" I don't know.", I replied, my eyes peering up at him, his skin glowing as the sunshine radiant on his face, the long black cassock wrapped over his strong muscular body made him look untouchable and sinfully appealing at the same time. The silver cross, loosely resting over his chest; a reminder for me not to think like that...like this, like I could literally die to feel his body over me, under me... thrusting inside me viciously.

" When was the last time you talked to our spies?", Father Nicholas asked, and then, I met his gaze, his angry blue eyes were already glaring at me...staring at me as if he'd already known what was I thinking. His jet black hair was wet and pushed behind, making his sharp features look even more apparent, his jaw clenched like he had been holding himself back from saying something and the way he was looking at me...it's so...I don't know, formidable perhaps? To everyone, he behaved so politely...his eyes literally showed gentleness but to me, it was just anger. And for the past few days...it's getting unbearable now.

" Weeks ago...", I somehow replied, still feeling goosebumps erupt in my entire body due to the way Father Nicholas had been staring at me, so angrily... as if he will literally eat me alive.

" Xenia, I told you to talk to them at least twice a week", He groaned making me look down at the floor, " I am sorry...", I mumbled, " I will go talk to Micheletto right now."

" No, No...not when she is here.", Father hissed, " Later."

I nodded my head, feeling stupid. Micheletto is one of our spies, who gave information to us about everything and anything happening around here. When Father was a Duke, he had control over a group of these lethal spies but after becoming a priest, he freed them from his service until three years ago, Father called them back and introduced them to me...However, they were expensive but loyal too and they all are mine now, mine to control, mine to use but like an ignorant person I am, I always forget to meet them. If only, I talked to them before then I would have known the reason Annie came here, so foolish of me!

" I am downstairs, call for me if you need anything.", Father asserted, " And just ignore her, you know she wants to anger you on purpose."

I hummed in response and he turned around to leave, but then suddenly I grasped his hand and he stopped. I needed to ask about his behaviour towards me...it's getting too much.

My cold hand touched his warm big palm, so big and rough compared to my small one. His fingers locked with mine, eluting a shaky breath from my lips but then he flinched and unexpectedly removed his hand, turning around, he gazed down at me, " What...", Father Nicholas snarled...his voice harsher than ever.

I tried...I tried so hard to push back those tears but they just fall over my cheek like they had been waiting for this exact moment. What did I do wrong... I simply just touched his hand, the same way Annie did, and that time he didn't even notice it but now... the way he cringed under my touch as if I am some filth.

" Nothing.", I mumbled, my eyes locked down at the floor, don't want him to see my tears.

" Xenia, I..", He took a step closer, whispering gently this time but I step back, still staring at the floor, " just go.", I murmured and then heard him sigh before Father Nicholas turned around and left.

Taking a deep sigh, I wiped my tears. Fine, if he wanted to do this way...then so be it. I will never ask him about his behaviour now, he can do whatever he pleased. I will be married to King Aldrich next year anyway then Father could live peacefully in this haunted tower alone, I'll never bother him again...will not even come to meet him.

Then he could live happily, far away from the vulgarity like me.