18. One man army

(A/n - Bonus chapter for 75 Powerstones, keep them coming guys)

The clones obligingly started slapping their thighs in a poor imitation of a drumroll.

"Synchronized swimming!"

The drumroll came to an abrupt, confused halt.

"Uh, boss?" one of the clones piped up. "Don't we need, you know, water for that?"

Naruto blinked. "Oh. Right. Okay, new plan! We're going to master the art of... making ramen without burning down the kitchen!"

This suggestion was met with enthusiastic cheers from the clones. However, before they could embark on their culinary adventure (and potential fire hazard), Naruto felt a prickle on the back of his neck. The feeling of being watched.

Now, for most ninjas, this would be cause for alarm. For Naruto, it was an opportunity for dramatic flair.

"Whoever's out there," he called out in his best 'mysterious ninja' voice (which sounded more like he had a bad cold), "show yourself! Unless you're Ichiraku Teuchi here to tell me I've won a lifetime supply of ramen, in which case, please continue hiding and building suspense!"

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the rustling of leaves and the faint sound of someone facepalming in the distance. Then, with a graceful leap that spoke of years of brooding practice, a figure dropped from a nearby tree.

Sasuke Uchiha, the last loyal member of his clan and reigning champion of the "Most Likely to Glare a Hole Through Solid Objects" competition, stood before Naruto with his trademark scowl firmly in place.

"Dobe," Sasuke greeted, somehow managing to infuse the single word with enough disdain to wilt a cactus.

"Teme," Naruto replied cheerfully, immune to Sasuke's aura of doom and gloom after years of exposure. "Come to join our ramen-making extravaganza?"

Sasuke's eye twitched. "No," he said flatly. "I came to... observe."

"Observe?" Naruto repeated, tilting his head in confusion. "Observe what? The majestic dance of the Naruto clones? The intricate art of not setting water on fire? The-"

"Your clones," Sasuke interrupted, his patience wearing thinner than Choji's resolve in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet. "I wanted to see how you're making solid clones when you couldn't even make a regular clone in the Academy."

Naruto's face lit up like he'd just been told ramen was now considered a food group. "Oh, you mean my awesome Shadow Clones? They're the best! Way cooler than those lame regular clones. These babies are solid, they can think for themselves, and they can even use jutsu! And when they dispel, I get all their memories. It's like having a whole army of me!"

Sasuke listened to Naruto's excited rambling with growing interest, though his face remained as impassive as a statue. A very grumpy statue. "And the chakra cost?" he asked, his tactical mind already whirring with possibilities.

"Oh, it uses a ton of chakra," Naruto said casually as if discussing the weather rather than a jutsu that would leave most ninjas passed out on the ground. "But that's no problem for me! I've got chakra to spare!"

Sasuke's interest visibly deflated. Of course, the one useful thing the dobe could do required more chakra than Sasuke had in his entire body. Just his luck.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, which in Uchiha-speak could mean anything from "I see" to "I'm secretly plotting world domination."

Naruto, however, was not done. An idea had formed in his hyperactive mind, and once an idea took root there, it was about as easy to dislodge as Jiraiya from a hot spring.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said, a mischievous glint in his eye that would have sent any sane person running for the hills. "Wanna fight?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Fight? You want to fight me?"

"Yeah! Come on, it'll be fun! We can use everything we've got, no holds barred!" Naruto was practically bouncing with excitement now.

Sasuke considered the proposal. On one hand, fighting Naruto seemed about as productive as trying to teach a rock to swim. On the other hand, it had been a while since he'd had a good spar, and maybe, just maybe, the dobe had learned something useful along with that clone jutsu.

"Fine," Sasuke agreed, his tone suggesting he was agreeing to a root canal rather than a friendly spar. "But we should have a referee. This could get... messy."

Naruto's grin widened to impossible proportions. "I know just the guy! Follow me, teme!"

And so, the unlikely duo set off deeper into the training grounds, unaware that they were about to kick off a chain of events that would involve more property damage than a drunken Tsunade on a gambling spree.

As Naruto led Sasuke through the training grounds, the Uchiha couldn't help but wonder what kind of referee the blonde had in mind. Knowing Naruto, it could be anyone from a talking toad to a sentient bowl of ramen.

His musings were interrupted as they entered a small clearing. There, defying gravity and common sense, was a small red-haired boy sticking to a tree with his back, looking for all the world like he was trying to become one with the bark.

"Sora-chan!" Naruto called out cheerfully, causing the boy to lose his concentration and fall unceremoniously to the ground with a yelp.

"Naruto-nii," Sora grumbled, rubbing his sore backside as he stood up. "What have I told you about sneaking up on me when I'm defying the laws of physics?"

"To do it more often?" Naruto replied cheekily.

Sora rolled his eyes, then noticed Sasuke standing there, looking as out of place as a smile on Orochimaru's face. "Oh, hello. You must be the famed Uchiha. I'm Sora, professional chaos instigator and part-time gravity denier."

Sasuke blinked, unsure how to respond to such an introduction. He settled for his usual grunt of acknowledgement.

"Sora," Naruto said, practically vibrating with excitement, "we need a favour. Sasuke and I are gonna have an awesome ninja battle, and we need a referee. You up for it?"

Sora's eyes lit up with interest. "A battle between the Last Uchiha and Konoha's Number One Unpredictable Ninja? This I've got to see. But are you sure you want me as a referee? I'm not exactly known for my impartiality. I once declared a potted plant the winner of a staring contest."

"You're perfect!" Naruto exclaimed. "Plus, you can make clones to watch different parts of the battlefield, right?"

Sora nodded, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Oh, this is going to be fun. Alright, I'm in. But first, ground rules. No permanent maiming, no setting the forest on fire unless it's absolutely necessary for dramatic effect, and if either of you summon any creatures larger than a house, I reserve the right to ride said creature into battle against the Hokage Monument."

Sasuke stared at the small redhead, wondering if everyone in Konoha had gone mad while he wasn't looking. Naruto, on the other hand, nodded as if these were perfectly reasonable conditions.

"Deal!" Naruto said, shaking Sora's hand enthusiastically. "Okay, teme, you ready to get your butt kicked?"

Sasuke smirked, falling into a ready stance. "In your dreams, Dobe."

Sora created seven clones, spreading them out across the battlefield. "Alright, gentlemen," he announced in his best 'official' voice, which sounded about as authoritative as a kitten trying to roar. 

"I want a good, clean fight. No biting, no hair-pulling, and absolutely no genjutsu that makes your opponent think they're a chicken. That's just cruel. Now, are you ready?"

Naruto and Sasuke nodded, their eyes locked in an intense stare-down that would have made lesser ninjas spontaneously combust.

"Then let the battle begin!" Sora shouted, quickly retreating to a safe distance. Which, given the participants involved, was probably somewhere in the next country.

For a moment, nothing happened. The two genin-to-be stood perfectly still, sizing each other up. A leaf drifted lazily between them, carried on a gentle breeze.

Then all hell broke loose.

Naruto's hands blurred through seals. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" he yelled, and suddenly the clearing was filled with a sea of orange and blonde.

Sasuke's eyes widened fractionally - the only outward sign of his surprise at the sheer number of clones. But an Uchiha never backed down from a challenge, especially not one issued by the dead-last of their class.

With a flick of his wrist, Sasuke sent a barrage of shuriken whistling through the air. The clones reacted instantly, some dodging, others deflecting the projectiles with kunai of their own.

"Is that all you've got, teme?" the Narutos taunted in unison, their voices creating a bizarre echo effect.

Sasuke smirked. "I'm just getting started, dobe."

And with that, he charged into the fray.

From his vantage point, Sora watched in fascination as Sasuke engaged the clone army in taijutsu. The Uchiha moved with a grace that belied his young age, each strike precise and calculated. But for every clone he dispelled, two more seemed to take its place.

"It's like watching a one-man war against a sentient orange jumpsuit factory," Sora mused aloud, earning strange looks from his own clones.