46. Illogical

(275 stone Bonus; Guys Vote! We are very close to the Top 20)

He was cut off by a sudden gust of wind that sent leaves swirling around them. The temperature seemed to drop several degrees, and an oppressive feeling of dread settled over the clearing.

"Well, well," a chillingly calm voice echoed from above. "What do we have here?"

Sora looked up, and his eyes widened. Perched on a branch directly above them was a figure that radiated menace. Red hair, pale skin, and eyes rimmed with dark circles that spoke of sleepless nights and barely contained madness. It was Gaara of the Sand, and he did not look happy.

"Oh, sweet merciful ramen," Sora muttered. "I was not expecting the final boss to show up this early in the game."

Hanabi shot him a panicked look. "Sora," she hissed, "that's Gaara of the Sand. He's a psychopath, what do we do?"

Sora's mind whirled. This was bad. Very bad. Gaara was way out of their league, even with all their tricks and disguises. But they couldn't just run - Gaara would catch them in an instant.

Then, an idea struck him. It was crazy, potentially suicidal, and absolutely ridiculous. In other words, it was perfect.

"Follow my lead," he whispered to Hanabi and the clone. Then, louder, he called out, "Ah, Gaara of the Sand! We've been expecting you!"

Gaara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You have?"

"Of course!" Sora continued, warming to his theme. "We couldn't very well start the party without the guest of honour, could we?"

Confusion flickered across Gaara's face, momentarily replacing his murderous intent. "Party?"

"Yes, yes!" Sora exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "The Grand Forest of Death Mixer! It's only the social event of the season. Didn't you get the invitation?"

Gaara looked utterly baffled now. "Invitation?"

Sora turned to Hanabi, his expression one of exaggerated shock. "Yumi, darling, please tell me you sent out the invitations like I asked!"

Hanabi, catching on to Sora's madness, played along. "Oh no!" she gasped. "I must have forgotten! I was so busy arranging the chocolate fountain and the dance floor!"

The clone, not to be outdone, pulled out a clipboard from somewhere and began furiously scribbling notes.

Gaara's sand began to swirl agitatedly around him. "What are you talking about? There is no party. I'm here to kill you and take your scrolls."

Sora gasped dramatically. "Kill us? But then who would lead the conga line? Who would judge the 'Most Creative Way to Disable an Opponent' contest?"

He approached Gaara, seeming oblivious to the danger. "Look, I know you're probably upset about the missing invitation, but let's not let that ruin the festivities! Why don't you come down and join us? I hear you're quite the sand sculptor - maybe you could give us a demonstration?"

Gaara's expression was a study of conflicting emotions. Confusion warred with anger, curiosity with bloodlust. His sand writhed around him, as if unsure whether to attack or retreat.

Sora pressed his advantage. "Come on, it'll be fun! We've got games, and snacks, and I was just about to start my world-famous shadow puppet show. You haven't lived until you've seen 'The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja' performed entirely with hand shadows!"

To everyone's shock, including his own teammates', Gaara slowly descended from his perch. His sand settled into an uneasy swirl around his feet.

"I... I've never been invited to a party before," he said, his voice a mix of suspicion and something that might have been longing.

Sora beamed. "Well, there's a first time for everything! Now, let's get this party started! Yumi, cue the music!"

Hanabi, still playing along, pulled out a small flute from her weapons pouch and began to play a jaunty tune. The clone, in a move that surprised everyone, suddenly produced a pair of maracas and started shaking them in rhythm.

Sora turned to Gaara with a grin. "So, what'll it be? Pin the Tail on the Ninja? Bobbing for Explosive Tags? Or maybe you'd like to try your hand at our pinata? I warn you, though, it fights back!"

Gaara stood there, utterly bemused, as chaos erupted around him. Sora began an elaborate and entirely improvised dance routine, occasionally grabbing Gaara's hands and trying to make him join in. Hanabi's flute playing grew more enthusiastic, if not necessarily more skilful. The clone had abandoned its maracas in favour of juggling kunai while riding a unicycle (where it got the unicycle from, no one knew).

The other genin teams that had been approaching, drawn by the earlier commotion, arrived to find this scene of utter madness. Many turned right around and left, deciding that whatever scrolls might be had weren't worth dealing with... whatever this was and also due to the bloodlust Gaara was emitting.

As Sora spun Gaara around in what he claimed was a "traditional Konoha victory dance," he caught Hanabi's eye and gave her a subtle nod. She understood immediately. While everyone was distracted by the impromptu party, she slowly began to guide the group towards the edge of the clearing.

"You know," Sora said conversationally to Gaara as they "danced," "I think this party could use a grander venue. What do you say we take this shindig to the tower at the centre of the forest? I bet we could really liven up the place!"

Gaara blinked, his perpetual frown deepening as he considered Sora's suggestion. "The tower? But that's where we're supposed to go after obtaining both scrolls."

Sora's grin widened impossibly further. "Exactly! Think about it - we'll be the life of the party AND the first to complete the exam. It's a win-win!"

The sand jinchuriki's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You have both scrolls already?"

"Of course!" Sora proclaimed, producing both the Heaven and Earth scrolls with a flourish that would make a stage magician proud. "What kind of party host would I be if I didn't come prepared?"

Gaara's sand swirled agitatedly, but Sora pressed on before the redhead could fully process his mounting confusion and anger.

"Now, my sand-sculpting friend, shall we lead this merry band to victory?" Sora asked, gesturing grandly towards the forest's centre. "I bet with your sand abilities, you could create the most incredible conga line this forest has ever seen!"

As if on cue, Hanabi's flute playing shifted to a lively conga beat. The clone, still unicycling, began to bounce in rhythm, creating a bizarrely hypnotic spectacle.

Gaara caught between bloodlust and utter bewilderment, found himself nodding almost against his will. "I... suppose we could go to the tower."

"Fantastic!" Sora cheered. "Alright, everyone! Conga line to victory!"

With a showman's flair, Sora positioned himself behind Gaara, placing his hands on the jinchuriki's shoulders. Hanabi, still playing her flute, fell in line behind Sora. The clone brought up the rear, somehow managing to unicycle in time with the conga rhythm.

As they set off through the forest, Sora began to sing:

"Ohhh, we're congaing to the tower,

Through this forest full of power!

Dodging traps and ninja foes,

Where this journey ends, who knows?

Hey! Conga!"

To everyone's surprise, including his own, Gaara found himself swaying slightly to the beat as they moved. His sand, rather than attacking, began to form intricate patterns in the air around them, almost like party decorations.

Other genin teams they encountered along the way could only stare in slack-jawed disbelief as the world's most unlikely conga line danced past them. Some caught up in the infectious rhythm, found themselves joining the line before they even realized what they were doing.

As they congaed deeper into the forest, Sora's mind raced. He had bought them some time and avoided immediate death by sand burial, but he knew this charade couldn't last forever. Sooner or later, Gaara would snap out of his confusion, and then they'd be in real trouble.

But for now, as he conga-ed through the Forest of Death with a jinchuriki, his disguised best friend, a silent clone, and an ever-growing line of bewildered genin, Sora couldn't help but think that this was shaping up to be the most entertaining Chunin Exam in history.

Little did he know, their conga line to victory was about to encounter a few unexpected bumps - and twists - along the way...