ICE ME DOWN

Gabby:

Everyone went on the search for clues about my sexuality. I had been influenced by Lisa, they believed and there, the sort for proof began.

The Reverends got tired of calling me in for questioning and tests. They only channeled their hope on my someday exposure.

"No lesbian can hide in Louis Nobis," Reverend Charity challenged my innocent claims. "If you are one of them, angels will bring you to me."

Until then. Until I wear my graduation gown out of this taunting school!

I do not care. The Reverends' threats and students' gossip, none bothered me. Their attitudes didn't affect my confidence as a student. Except for losing Lisa and struggling to see Uriel without aiming for her neck, I am all right.

I miss Lisa. I didn't understand her agony until I slept the night and woke up to an empty bed and friendship.

Like Lisa, I hate Uriel now. I sweat when I see her. It worsened after Reverend Charity reassigned Emily to Mentor her, giving wings to their sudden togetherness, and increasing my rage.

Their sudden friendship annoys me the most especially when Uriel comes seeking Emily in class and dormitory — the guts and boldness. Her act like Lisa never existed tripled my hatred.

I have almost succeeded in slapping her beauty out of her a few times but as usual, she got rescued by her new guard dog.

"Keep your cool, Gabby, or you will get yourself in trouble," Jeriota warned.

Jeriota had appeared with Emily when I nearly hit Uriel the last time. While Emily took Uriel out, Jeriota dragged me to a corner.

"You are getting out of hand," She said. "You need to start behaving."

"I didn't call for your advice!" I yelled and made to walk out but Jeriota pulled me back.

"Don't provoke me, Gabby," she shone those lifeless eyes at me.

"You don't scare me."

"Don't push it."

"Or what?!"

She shut her eyes as I screamed all over her glasses. She remained mute and when I had enough of her wrinkled forehead and tight lips, I pushed her out and made to walk away but she drew me back, pushed me to the wall, and pinned me roughly to feel pain.

"You are hurting me…" I cried.

"I told you not to push it," she tightened her grip, piercing her fingers deeper into my skin.

"Stop, please."

Yes, I am scared of Jeriota. When she acts so abusive and emotionless, I fear her.

"Do not test me again," she warned and I nodded helplessly.

She freed me, stared at the bruise she inflicted, made to show some concern, but kicked against it and walked away.

"Psychopath!" I yelled to her hearing. "Bitch!" I cursed again but this time, I broke down in tears.

No, I am not crying for Jeriota. I am crying because I am stressed with everything that is going on.

I miss Lisa. I feel so alone and lonely without her.

"Bitch!" I cursed no one in particular; at Uriel, Emily, and Jeriota. "Bitches!" I hope they are burned to ashes.

The school became abnormal for me. Everything turned uninteresting and for the worse, three months to graduation turned unreachable. And the worst, Jeriota refused to call me to the hideout.

Since Lisa's incident, everybody had been playing holy and godly. Adding to the unknown spy sent out by the Reverends to mark the students, especially me, nobody wants to be the next Lisa.

Students don't walk in pairs anymore to avoid suspicion. Even those I know of their sexuality, pretend to be the straightest girls ever.

Although I know the fear will fade in time and everything will return to normal, I am impatient. I can't keep up with my stress. I do not care about the rigid atmosphere but my stress and how to deal with it.

Jeriota messed up my method of reviving stress. My once sole action doesn't do the magic anymore. No matter how long I touch myself, I reach only filthy sweats rather than orgasms, and it is frustrating.

Jeriota hasn't spoken of the hideouts or anything close to it. Even when I provoked her to get her to insist on punishing me, she boned away without a word.

I do not miss her, don't get me wrong. I only miss her usefulness. I have gotten used to her smell and taste, which has become my only stress revival. Despite her refusal to go down on me again, I still reach my goal by clicking her dry.

The stress has taken over and left me restless. I lay in my bed unable to sleep at 2 am. While every other student was sleeping, I rolled over my bed, inhaling and exhaling.

I climbed out of my bed. I couldn't hold up anymore. I must find the solution to my frustration or I will run insane.

I walked through the dark dormitory to my destination. The power supply at Louis Nobis is disabled at exactly 11 pm. No one is expected to be awake after midnight, but see, I am not no one.

I headed to Jeriota's bed corner with a blank expectation. She should be asleep but that isn't my contention. I am ready to crawl into her bed, pull her underwear, and bring her out of the dreamland with a sweet sensation.

Jeriota is not a screamer. I know she wouldn't scream awake; she may fight me out, but we are in a dormitory filled with students, and neither of us would risk being caught.

This is crazy. I am acting crazy but I am helpless. I am desperate.

I reached her corner and there to my disbelief, Jeriota was sitting on her reading chair and table, studying under a dimmed rechargeable torchlight.

It was shocking to see her studying at that hour. It was not as though we have a scheduled quiz or is there one I didn't know of?

No! This is merely how addicted she is to studying.

Everyone has an addiction, I confirm it now — little addictions like gaming, snacking, or s*xing. Only Jeriota has a studying addiction.

I have developed into mine though, which I have come to have a taste of.

I took a satisfying moment to admire Jeriota's shiny and concentrated face before her lantern. She hasn't felt my presence. She feels nothing when she is before her books.

"So serious," I said as low as she could be the only one hearing that.

She casually blinked up to look at me. Jeriota didn't look shocked or scared to hear a voice out of the blues. Anyone would think she knew I had come, except I understood Jeriota and her unfazed emotion.

Jeriota's thick personality has her occupying the only secluded corner in the dormitory. She dwells with her reading table and chair, bed, and mini wardrobe, with no student as her neighbor. No one wants her around.

To be clear, Jeriota is the only student with a reading desk in her corner. Who wants the anxiety of reading in the dormitory after classes? Only Jeriota.

"What are you doing here?" She asked coldly, eyes returned to her books.

"I can't sleep."

"Open a page of your textbook," she tugged her glasses. "Your type sleeps before completing a sentence."

Well, I didn't try that because I didn't return to the dormitory with textbooks. I am not Jeriota. I am Gabby who reads novels during the studying period. And no, I do not need a novel to sleep, I need her.

"Can I open you instead?" I pleaded earnestly and I saw Jeriota flickered at my words.

"I am not a sleeping pill, Gabby."

Jeriota's eyes flickered, but her tone remained as untouched as a serial killer.

"You have been avoiding me, why?"

"Avoiding you?" She cuffed.

"Are you shaken by the whole drama not wanting me anymore?"

Her lips twined in anger as I spat her fears. Her eyes shut before the rays and when she reopened them, I realized my mistake.

"I do not want you," she gritted. "I will never want you. I call for you when I need you, and I haven't needed you lately. So please, Gabby…" She shot the bullets in her eyes at me. "Go back to bed before I lose it."

"But I want you." I stood my ground. I need to provoke her the most to gether too dog what I want.

"Get out!"

"I miss you."

Jeriota suddenly pulled me as I said those words, and stomped my face on the books before her in anger, pining me still and gripping my head hard.

"What? Do you have feelings for me now?"

I struggled to free myself but she is stronger than I am. I did nothing but moan in pain.

"Do you?" She whispered in anger.

"No…"

"Don't stir me again, Gabby. Don't!"

She let go and I staggered backward, crashing on her mini wardrobe and bringing her neatly hung clothes to the floor.

"Gabby!" She rebuked my fickle stamina. "What is wrong with you?!"

"I am sorry," I muttered.

I bent over to pick them up, shaking as I did. I shouldn't have provoked her. How did I forget the ill side of a provoked Jeriota?

Anxiety has added to my stress. Jeriota's tone and stare teamed it up. With Jeriota at reach, I am clumsy and indecisive.

I am not usually like this; I am a mother of five adult men, a sister of four grown men, and a daughter to an aged man, yet, Jeriota's presence makes me pee.

Jeriota stood up, pulled me from the squatting position, and squeezed my wrists to inflict enough pain to make me screech.

I twisted and twirled to free my hand, but she held me tight.

"You…Do you like to piss me off?"

"I am sorry," I pleaded to be untangled.

"You miss me?" She asked coldly and I saw through her glasses how unaffected she spoke.

"No…"

The truth is that I do not know why I said I missed her. I didn't, not in the way it seemed. I only missed getting my revival.

"No?"

"I will go back to bed. Let me go."

"Why all of a sudden? You succeeded in interrupting my studying and you want to go to bed. What should I do with you, Gabby?"

"I am sorry," I went pathetic and feeble. "I will trouble you no more."

"I need you now," she said with her same unchanged expression. "Will you refuse me?"

"Jeriota…"

She surveyed the dark dormitory. Although I could not see anything or anyone, I heard snores and sleeping breaths of our classmates. And for Jeriota, I was not sure what her double eyes saw.

"This is not the right place," she exhaled weakly. "Not the best time."

"Yes." I agreed quickly. "I will go back to sleep then."

"I didn't permit that." She shook her head. "You can't sleep, I remember," she smirked and her face shone before the light. "Let's do something about your little insomnia."

She returned to her chair, leaving me pinned to a spot.

"Pick up my clothes!" She ordered.

I bent over her clothes again and picked them but Jeriota directed that I don't re-hang them.

"They are dirty now, can't you see?" She said, "I will have to re-wash them, and you have to pay for the laundry."

I looked at her with contempt. I had indeed come for Jeriota but I hate when she subdues me to her command. It would be better if we simply get what we want, but no, Jeriota has to enslave me to her needs and ignore mine. She enjoys that power.

"When you glare like that, you boost me up," she mocked. "Put the clothes on the box and come over here."

I dumped her clothes and strolled toward her. I stopped before her reading table and she adjusted on her chair and smiled.

"I love your night dress."

Her eyes went warm as she admired my red gown. I may be wrong again. It may not be an admiration. It may be her domineering fun compliments.

"Smile when I compliment you," she continued. "It doesn't come often, you know."

She huffed when I said nothing. To proceed to her need, she spread her legs and nodded me over. I made to walk across the table to her but she objected.

"Through the table, Gabby." She smiled.

"What?"

"No?"

"I hate you."

"Good, don't ever love me."

I stood still, protesting against her order.

"Gabby," her smile disappeared. "Crawl to me now!"