Chapter 4

"What are you still doing here?" Li Yan called to Xiao Niang as she burst into their small kitchen.

Xiao Niang slowly looked up from where she was bent over the stove preparing the family's evening meal and gave her stepmother a once-over look.

Her clothes were rumpled, her hair had fallen out of its tight bun, and she was heaving in deep breaths. It looked like she'd run straight from wherever she was coming.

"Making the evening meal." She looked in the pot and stirred the food. It was burning at the bottom, she noted.

"Enough with that nonsense, something more important has come up." Yan paused, waiting for Xiao Niang to ask her what it was.

But, Xiao Niang simply stared at her blankly not saying a word.

Tired of waiting, Yan hissed at her stepdaughter still excited. "Do not tell me you have not heard the news?"

"What news?" Xiao Niang kept her voice as bland as ever, showing Yan no emotions.

"The Emperor's men went around the village today putting up signs. They say he will be allowing peasant girls to participate in the Crown Prince's wife selection alongside the noble ladies."

Xiao Niang's heart skipped a beat, and she dropped her spoon, a peasant as the crown princess, such a thing had never happened before. It had never even been heard of and for a good reason. It was madness, the nobles would never accept it.

Satisfied that she had finally got a reaction, Yan hurriedly continued her story.

"The Lord will choose the participants tomorrow. I simply cannot believe this, my Li An will get a chance to become royalty."

Xiao Niang picked up her spoon once more and tasted the food. It tasted slightly off.

"Is that all you had to say stepmother?" She asked as she went around searching for the ingredients she needed to fix the taste.

"How dare you speak to me that way?" Yan huffed. The scent of wood smoke spread around them as the two women stared at each other, both refusing to back down.

"It's alright, mother." Li An soothed her mother as she joined them.

The air felt stifling with the three of them cramped into the small room, there was barely any room to move. Xiao Niang stared at the crooked shelves stacked with jars searching for what she needed to fix the taste of the food.

Xiao Niang stole a glance at her younger half sister Li An, and she could see why Yan was sure she would be selected.

Almost 19, Li An was the spitting image of her mother and a beauty to behold. Her dark hair was silky and flowed when she moved, her skin was much paler than half the ladies in their town and her eyes contrasted perfectly with her skin.

With her flawless porcelain skin, delicate features, and a graceful nature, Li An looked more like she belonged to a noble family than to a family of peasants like them.

"Nini," Hua Yun burst into the room and paused as she took in the scene warily.

"What are you doing in here? You know the smoke isn't good for you."

"I know," Hua Yun kicked at the dirt. "But, father wanted to know how much longer the food would take"

"Not much longer now, Pet." Xiao Niang stared at her sister sadly as she pat her head, she was losing more weight with each passing day.

Her veins were becoming even more pronounced, they desperately needed to get her medicine.

"Who is it? Is it the Emperor's men?" Yan demanded, grabbing Hua Yun by her shoulders and shaking her. Her wide eyes moved about and her breaths came in short gasps. She looked insane.

"Stop that!" Xiao Niang snapped prying her stepmother's hands off Hua Yun. Hua Yun swayed unsteadily on her feet before clutching at Xiao Niang's skirts, to hold herself upright.

The oppressive heat bubbled around them, sweat beaded along Xiao Niang's forehead and dripped down her back, but she refused to wipe it.

"You know better than to do that." Xiao Niang spat at Yan. "Especially when she's not had her medicine in such a long time."

"You baby the girl too much. How do you expect her to get married and have a family if you refuse to let her do even the smallest things?

She cannot cook, she cannot clean, and you refuse to let her even work on the farm." Li An spat. Hua Yun's hands tightened even further on Xiao Niang's skirt.

"We have had this conversation many times before An, she does none of those things because her doctor says they are not good for her." Xiao Niang hissed, covering Hua Yun's ears with her hands.

"Enough An," Yan interrupted. "So much wasted beauty." She sighed as she left, taking An with her.

"I feel the same, mother. Someone might marry the sickling one day, but no one will ever marry the bastard." Li An replied loud enough for Xiao Niang to hear, the false innocence in her tone making the words sting even more.

Xiao Niang glared at her sister with hate as An shot her a smug smile over her mother's shoulder.

"Nini?" Hua Yun called hesitantly.

"Don't worry about anything, darling, and go get some rest. Look, you're shaking on your feet, all this stress isn't good for you."

"But?"

"Off with you now, dearest, I have to finish up here before father gets angry."

Xiao Niang waved to Hua Yun with a big smile. Hua Yun shuffled her feet, looking behind her every few steps.

"Bye." Xiao Niang waved.

"Bye." Hua Yun whispered softly.

Xiao Niang let her smile fall once Hua Yun was out of sight. She rubbed at her aching chest.

What An had said wasn't anything new, shed heard it whispered hundreds of times around the village.

It was a phrase she'd heard hundreds of times before 'No one will marry the bastard' people whispered whenever she passed by.

She thought she had come to terms with it years ago.

So why did the thought of never getting married or having a family hurt her so. Yet, for some reason, the words felt heavier tonight, pressing against her ribs like a weight.

Marriage hadn't been a dream of hers, not since she was six, yet the idea of being unworthy of it, left a sour taste in her mouth.

The most she could ever hope for was being a concubine, her father had told her this many times, yet the thought of being one turned her stomach sour. Why did it still hurt so much? Why could she not come to terms with her fate?