"I didn't know we were close enough for me to tell you about my loss." Her eyes reflect guilt as she realizes how she pushed away her friend for years and only used me when it was convenient. If this were Yugin, he would have forgiven her already. He never had a backbone, but I don't care either way. I was just pretending to like her, playing a role in our fake friendship.
I have no idea why Hana distanced herself from "Yugin," who had always treated her with kindness. Ever since I pretended to die and took on my twin brother's identity, Hana's behavior towards me changed drastically. She used to be vibrant and full of life, but now she seems reserved and distant despite constantly being in the company of others. Her physical appearance may still give off an outgoing impression, but her personality has become closed off to those around her.
"Yu. . .Yugin. I don't -"
" You don't know what? Why are you here? You made it very much clear how you viewed me." I am offering her something she has never received before. That is honesty and frankness. Everyone around Hana is constantly trying to please her and gain her favor. She surrounds herself with people who always agree with her. For someone to genuinely show admiration for her character and still stand up to her, will undoubtedly alter her outlook on life.
She waved her hands frantically in the air, trying to speak, but I talked over her, making her feel insignificant. My goal was to describe how she had treated me all these years and make her too exhausted to argue back. I know Hana is not a malicious person; from what I know about her, she avoids confrontation unless necessary. However, this situation was different because there was no fire in her eyes, only regret.
"I'm . . . I'm sorry, Gin." Her legs buckled, and she crumpled onto the wooden floor. Her voice shook with raw emotion as tears streamed down her cheeks, creating wet trails on her flushed skin. She frantically wiped at them, apologizing over and over again in a broken, desperate voice. But her eyes remained fixated on the ground, unable to meet mine as she was consumed by overwhelming shame and guilt.
Despite my efforts to appear unaffected, I couldn't deny the satisfaction of this view. But I couldn't laugh now; I'll save that for when I'm alone. For now, I have to play the role of Yugin and act like a spineless fool. It's my job to comfort her, as that is what he would do. Right?
"I didn't. . . I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry. . ." I frantically dropped to my knees and gently stroked her forearms, trying to offer comfort. I knew I had to be careful with my actions, as Yugin would have been in this situation. My impulsive behavior had caused her to feel vulnerable, but I couldn't push her away now. Instead, I wanted her to beg for a more significant role in my life so that I could manipulate her like a puppet. Regret would eat away at her, and she would do whatever it takes to repair our strained friendship.
"Gin, I am sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to break away without issues. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean to use you. I just-"
"Let drop it, Hana-"
"NO!" Her tiny frame launched into my arms, her fingers digging into my skin like claws. She buried her face in my neck, staining it with tears and mascara. Her grip was tight as if she never wanted to let go. She mumbled incoherent words, but I could feel her desperation. I couldn't break free from her embrace, just like I couldn't escape the memories of my childhood. She reminded me of my parents, always acting without considering the consequences of their actions. They were the reason I am the way I am. The arrogance of humans never ceases to amaze me, and I know this well because I too am one of these despicable creatures. When given the opportunity, I have no qualms about devouring my prey whole, simply for my own amusement. And now, Hana will fall victim to my power and dominance. She will become my plaything until I reign as the ultimate deity in this world.
"I will make it up, gin, I promise!"Her sobs echoed through the empty room, a pitiful symphony begging for my forgiveness. A smirk played on my lips as I pulled her closer by her small waist, relishing in the power I held over her. She was nothing but a toy to me now, a puppet whose strings I controlled. This was only the beginning with us.
****
I woke up to the news that my school had aired a list of students and teachers who were killed. Hana was sleeping on my bed as I sat in my father's room, writing down each name on the list. I take full responsibility for Kevin Smith's death, but I have no involvement in any of the others. My peers thought I was stressed about an exam when I secretly wrote Kevin's name. The rest of the victims are high-achieving students and the teachers are people who teach those types of classes. Can the other user be someone on the honor roll list? It would make sense, but with over five thousand students at our school, it's hard to narrow down. Despite both Hana and I being in the top 20 on the honor roll, we're still alive. I have a trump card that protects me from being killed by the death note, but what about Hana? She may excel academically, but she's not naturally skilled. She often copies my work to get by, which is something most people know about her. As I ponder this, I can't help but rub my temples in frustration, trying to figure out who the other user could be.
" This is getting interesting, reminds me of one of those dramatic soap operas that my co-workers discuss." Edel's inquisitive yet entertaining voice whispered directly into my ear. I sat on the bed, facing the TV, with Edel's body right next to mine. He imitated the way humans appear to be deep in thought, his finger tracing along his sharp jawbone as his empty eyes focused intently on the TV screen.
"I'm glad you are enjoying yourself, front role seats at that." I couldn't resist the urge to let a hint of sarcasm slip from my lips. Watching Edel's amusement at this brutal fight makes me question if he's more twisted than he appears. It's possible that we share a common interest in breaking down and dominating others.
Edel and I were about to resume our conversation when we both heard unstable footsteps shuffling down the hallway. I quickly signaled for Edel to hide from Hana's view. She called out my name, searching for me with concern in her voice. I hastily tucked my notebook under the mattress before exiting the room. Hana stood before me, her tired eyes barely open and her hair disheveled.
"Hana, you are up early. Wassup?" I make an effort to be kind and approachable towards her, as I know I have already caused her a lot of emotional distress. I will save that for another day.
She shook her head with a hint of sadness, and I knew right away that something was wrong. When she wasn't content, she often acted like a child by puffing out her cheeks and making her eyes appear more squinty and teary. And here I was, standing in front of Hana Choi looking like an oversized toddler.
"What's wrong, Hana-"
" The day of the school incident my mom have been missing. That morning was the last time I saw her and now she won't answer her calls. No one knows where she's at."
There have been more disappearances, and it's highly likely that a death note user is responsible for them. With the ability to write anyone's name in the book and use the red arrow to manipulate people, it wouldn't be shocking if Hana's mother was a victim of this power. But who could it be? Who among the users would do such a thing to Hana's mom? Oh wait, that's a ridiculous question. It has to be Jiei Kato. It's the only explanation that makes sense. My mother and Hana's mom were always close, even before any of us were born. She convinced my mom to leave my father and marry her new partner after my twin passed away. That day, my dad swore that was when his life went downhill. I can't possibly tell Hana about this. It would reveal too much about this supernatural phenomenon and expose me as one of the suspects. What she doesn't know won't cause her harm. " We can try to find her." I have to give her some hope, I can't let my prey sway away. The pouting face she once had slowly vanished as a hint of hope lingered in her eyes. She went back to her content self.