chapter 14
"Uhmm…these are all Zack's, why are you setting them on fire?" I ask Curiously.
She puts on a sullen face. "Do you think it's easy for me? if I could, I would burn down his room," she says, and I exhale. "It's hard to believe that my only son is gone. And no matter how hard I try to pretend that I'm not hurting, it changes nothing." Tears falls out of her eyes. I and Jeremy share a quick gaze. I'm confused, I almost thought she was doing it for some other reason. It's not likely to see a mother burning her son's things just because he died.
"That doesn't give you the right to burn them." I stand on my ground despite seeing her tears.
"What should I do with them then? Decorate his room and pretend he's coming back?" She asks in annoyance.
I keep quiet for a few seconds. "No, you're right. You should burn them. Burn every trace of him in this world. But know this, it still doesn't change anything either, and it won't lessen your pains. I know how close you and Zack were, and I know you're now mute to the word sorry, but let yourself grieve and let yourself grow. It would do more justice to you than trying to burn down his existence," I preach, and surprisingly she nods.
"Is that how you got past him, letting yourself grieve and grow?" She asks.
I shrug my shoulders. "Who said I've gotten past him? His murderer is still out there, I can never get past that," I tell her.
She chuckles. "You're a very smart girl, Arianna, I've always wished I had a daughter just like you," she says and I feel uncomfortable.
"What about Mr. Freeman, I don't see him around?" Jeremy reminds me.
"Yeah, I didn't see him at Zack's funeral."
Cassandra exhales and takes a seat on the couch. She sucks her teeth. "He collapsed the moment he heard the news, and we had to rush him to the hospital. He's in a coma," she exhales again. Oh my God. I can't imagine what she's going through right now. It's likely to happen. Zack and his dad had a strong bond like that of conjoined twins.
"We?" Jeremy asks. I look at him skeptically. Why is he this interested in Mr. Freeman, not like he has met him before?
Cassandra smiles, then grimaces. "Our manager and I. We were on a business trip," she explains.
"Oh, I see," Jeremy utters. Something strange is going on. Why is Jeremy asking unconcerned questions, and why is Cassandra replying to him? Cassandra should be angry at him. He's the one person everybody has been saying killed Zack, but she's calm enough to answer his questions.
"Uhmm, I was hoping I could pick up some of Zack's stuff."
"Of course, Honey," she says as she stands up. "Anything you want, you can have it." I smile. She escorts me and Jeremy to Zack's room and leaves us there. Zack's room looks untouched since the last time I saw it. Untidy bed, littered pillows, and a shattered lamp.Has anyone not been here?
"So, what are we looking for?" Jeremy asks.
I exhale, "I have no idea. Let's just look around. If you see a treasure you'll know, right?" I start to litter the room more. First, it was his spacious closet, then it was beneath his bed. "Nothing." I stand up, panting. Then I notice Jeremy is doing nothing, just relaxing on the wall, hands in his pocket. Is this his way of being supportive? He just doesn't care about going to prison again. "You don't always have to be a GI Joe, you know," I say with both hands on my waist, still unable to get a hold of my breath.
"What's that?" He moves from the wall as he asks with creased brows.
"A soldier, a heartless one," I explain.
He raises his brows. "You think I'm heartless?"
"Are you not?"
He scoffs. "You don't even know what you're looking for, Anna," he says, and my lashes flutter. He has a point. It would be difficult to look for something you don't know. "Didn't he leave some clue or something," he asks. While I think if there was any clue Zack might have left, the door cracks open and gets our attention. I smile, happy to see that Matthew cares enough to make it.
"Damn, why's this place so messed up?" He wrinkles his face, and I roll my eyes.
JEREMY.
The fact that I care so much about her has made me uncontrollable. I didn't think I'd do this again. I thought after five years in juvie, I'll come out, and we'd move to another neighborhood and I'll start a new life where Arianna Langford won't be in it, but that's not happening. It's as if I'm in a loop, where history keeps repeating itself, and I always get to be the villain. If Arianna keeps popping up in my everyday life, I'll just keep doing what I do best.
*
The moment Matthew steps in, I feel my heart hardens with hatred.
"You invited him?" I ask Anna.
"What? Is this some kind of tea party that needs an invitation?" Matthew says.
"NO-O," Arianna utters, looking at me with wide eyes. She breathes out and sucks her teeth. "I know you guys can't stand each other, but we're going to be convicted soon! And the only way we can stop that is if we work together," Anna preaches.
"What? Are you afraid to go to prison? You should be, guys like you usually don't last a day," I threaten, and no matter how tough Zack may look, I can feel his fear.
"Okay, no one is going to prison!" Arianna admonishes. She exhales. "Look, I know this is difficult, but I'm going against Mr. Langford's every rule just standing this close to you. So please, can the both of you just tolerate each other for the time being?" She's asking for a favor. The first in five years. Do I grant it? No, I've done too much already. My phone chimes and I bring it out of my pocket. Just like I thought, Prishka Singh wants to meet. I suck my teeth and look up at Anna who is still hoping I accept her request.
"I'm sorry, but I've got a date I need to prepare for, so…" As I walk out of the room, I hear Anna scoff. Wow, it must be disappointing for her that I refuse to be under her shadows once again. That's how she is, that's how she has always been. Wasn't that the reason she was angry at me, because I stopped listening to her and was always having fun with Mikeala? She loved being in charge of me, and it always pains her whenever I refuse her. But who am I kidding? She's still in charge of me now, but luckily, she doesn't know that. Of all the places she could meet, she chose Kreamy that's filled with over 50 people. She likes acting normal and innocent like she knows nothing. As I get into Kreamy, I stand beside the door, viewing Everyone. There, I see her. It's not that hard to recognize someone with the longest dark-straight hair in Stoneybrook, it's slick and shiny. Approaching her table, I see that she's busy with her phone, and there's an untouched milkshake in front of her. As I sit on the chair across from her, she startles, then she smiles.
"JEREMY JACOB OSCAR!" She puts down the phone, seeming excited to see me.
"It's good to see you too, Prishka Singh."
She sucks her teeth. "No, no it's not good to see me," she says, and I look at her with squinted eyes. "I only appear when something or someone has gone down," she adds, and I exhale.
"Speaking of, I heard you're Anna's Attorney," I tell her, curious to know her main objective.
She smiles. "Well, you know what they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," she says.
I nod, then suck my teeth. "Yeah, but sometimes it doesn't fall, it's plucked," I say, and she sighs, looking at me like a monster.
She fakes a smile. "Speaking of pluck, I heard someone plucked Zack, do you know anything about that?" She looks at me suspiciously. I can't do this with her, withhold the truth. I do it with everyone but not her, that's because she'll eventually find out, and it's also because I need to know someone knows the truth about me but isn't nailing me to the cross.
"Are you going to help her?"
"Should I?" She asks, and I put down my head. "She seems sweet, I get that's why you did what you did, but you have to tell me the truth, Jeremy. We can't be on the same path as we were five years ago."
"Just help her," I practically plead. I'm finding it difficult to divulge anything to her. This is different. I wasn't afraid because I knew I was responsible for Mikeala's death, but someone else killed Zack without hesitation, someone dangerous.
"Who killed Zack?" She asks plainly, her face slightly grumpy. I look at her quietly. Should I tell her the truth? She's the only person I can trust to keep her mouth shut, yet she's the only person I know that shouldn't keep her mouth shut.
"I don't know," I whisper, and she scoffs.
"You want to do this? Make me force the truth out of you?" She groans. I roll my eyes. Is that a skill she's proud of?
She scoffs and falls back on the chair. "Did you kill Zack?" She keeps asking questions that are one step closer to the truth, it won't be long till she figures it out, and I'm beginning to frail.