chapter 17

It's easier than I thought. Who leaves their keys under their doormat these days? It's not a break-in if you use the front door, is it? The door cracks as I open it slowly. I step in first. The atmosphere changes immediately. A familiar smell of liquor and cigarettes. Alisyn enters after me, but Arianna is still fidgeting outside. "Anna?" I whisper, and she startles. I raise my brows at her, she nods and steps in.

                    ARIANNA.

Lights out. Windows opened. Books are all over the table. Burned cigarettes on an ashtray beside the tin liquor. She has been busy, and I am scared as hell.  I close the door behind me.  "She smokes," I mumble.

"Seems like she's more than just a detective," Alisyn says, looking around with her flashlight. 

"Are these Zack's?" Jeremy asks me about the books littered over the table. I'm not sure, but I recognize the one with the back cover of a bikini lady. How to sex your life. Thinking about it makes me want to puke. I remember when he first got it. He was supposed to be reading the novel Professor Sheldon gave to him, but instead, he was busy studying how to sex his life. Zack can be the most stupid person I know at times, but he doesn't care how stupid you think he is, and maybe that's the reason I love him.

"Yeah. Most of them," I say. The door clicks, and I jangle. Alisyn immediately directs the touch to the door. As I look closely, I see Matthew. I take a deep breath.

"I thought you said you weren't coming," Alisyn says to him.

"I changed my mind," he says, looking into my eyes. As he closes the door, my heart skips again.

"Jesus Christ." I place my hand on my chest. Jeremy sits on the couch and turns on the laptop which is on top of the piles of books. "What are you doing?" I ask as I look into the laptop.

"Logging into her email account," He says. Matthew and Alisyn join in. I watch him type his way into Detective Chrome's laptop. How on Earth did he unlock it? He clicks on the Gmail app, then gets into her inbox. There are tons of messages. Jeremy kept scrolling through them and it made me dizzy. "There." He taps on a message which says:  I'll get you this time, it's a promise. We look at each other. I gulp my saliva. The message was sent to Zack the same night he died. Detective Chrome killed Zack.

"Oh my God," Alisyn mutters.

"Now we just need to prove that she met Zack that night."

"She did," Matthew utters. We all look at him 

"How do you know that?" I ask curiously.

"Because I saw her," he says, and my eyes grow wide, the same as the tears that gather in them.

"What?" I say with a small voice.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Alisyn asks.

"Because I wasn't sure…" he says, and then he sighs. "Look, when Grandma had a stroke that night, I thought that was it. But when I took her to the hospital I was told that I can save her, that's only if I deposit five thousand dollars, and Zack was the only person that could lend me such an amount of money."

"You mean the money you earn from selling drugs to him." I scoff.

He sighs. "Have you ever thought of why Zack was using drugs? Doesn't it bother you?"

"You really think there's something you can say to me that'll justify your actions!"

"No, I don't. But Zack was Vulnerable, A. It's like he needed it to survive."

Jesus Christ! "Vulnerable?!" I yell. "Kiss my black ass, Matthew."

"I'll love to, but now is not a good time."  I laugh in annoyance. He's making jokes?

"Do you think this is funny?" I'm becoming angrier with every second that passes by.

"No! I don't," Alisyn butt in. "I know I might not have a bright future, but I want one anyways. So it's either you keep it down right now, or make it louder in prison."

"Okay. Do you remember anything else? Like, what was she wearing? The exact time you saw her? Like anything?" Jeremy sounds anxious. I thought he was not bothered about going to prison, his mama probably took care of that.

"Ummm. She was wearing a black trouser suit, her hands were inside the pockets, like she was hiding something in it."

"Probably the murder weapon," Alisyn insinuates.

"That's not strong enough…" Jeremy says. He grits his teeth, raking his fingers through his hair. He looks desperate, we all are.

"Wait. The Freeman has a CCTV camera at their house, right?" Alisyn says. We all share a gaze of hope. She's kinda smart.

"Exactly. If Chrome went to Zack that night, the CCTV footage would capture it," I say.

"We'll present the text she sent to Zack and the footage of her entering Freeman's house to court…" Matthew says.

"Checkmate." Jeremy smiles. Alisyn's ringtone sets my body on edge.

"It's Izzy," she says and picks up the call.

"Hello?" She utters. "Oh no," she adds after a few seconds, then hangs up.

"What is it?" I ask, worried.

"Detective Chrome canceled," she replies. Okay, I think this is the right time to panic.

"We need to go, right now!" I say frighteningly.

"Chill," Jeremy tells me as he stands up from the couch. "If she canceled, then why isn't she home?" He asks. We look at ourselves. No idea.

"Probably went for an errand. Either way, we need to go," I warn them.

"Okay. Let's go," Jeremy agrees, and I immediately head to the door, Matthew follows, then Alisyn. When we get to Alisyn's car, I notice that Jeremy is still inside.

"What is he still doing there?" I mutter to myself, and Alisyn shakes her head. Just as I set to go back inside, Jeremy finally decides to come out. It's hard to trust him when he keeps a lot to himself, but no matter how hard I try to resist him, I can't. 

"Let us go," He says, striding to us. Alisyn drops me and Jeremy close to the house before heading towards her.

Striding home, "Why did it take you long enough to come out?" I ask him. He stands still, and I do too.

"I was looking for Zack's diary. If Detective Chrome wants it, then it must be important," he says. The diary, I almost forgot. I had no idea Zack had a diary. It's going to be harder than I thought, but nevertheless…

"It doesn't matter, we already know who killed Zack. Whatever is in that dairy, I'm sure it all points to Chrome," I say, he smiles slightly. We continue striding home. When we get to the house, I touch the drain pipe. "Time to be a monkey." I let out a breath. I hear Jeremy chuckles. I can see he's enjoying this. "You can go now, I'll take it from here," I tell him.

"No. I need to make sure you get to your room safely," he says.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Yeah," he replies. If only he could climb up to my room on my behalf. I don't want to let myself believe that I've got him back. It's too easy, and easy things usually don't last.

"Okay. Here we go…" I hold onto the pipe tightly and drag myself over it. It takes me more than 5 minutes to get to my room. Climbing up is harder than going down. Before I close my window, I wave him a goodbye, and he smiles. He waits till I close the window before heading to his house. I cannot believe he's using the front door. I envy him for not having strict parents like me. As I turn to face my room, I see Mr. Langford seated on my bed. My heart hits my chest and continues to pound.

"Where are you coming from?" He asks. Okay, okay…Arianna just accepts the fact that you're going to die tonight. I am too frightened to open my mouth. "Young lady, I asked you a question!" He yells as he bolts up. My heart pounds faster. And I'm still not able to talk. Mom burst through the door. She looks at me, and I see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Let's just calm down," She tells Mr. Langford.

"No! Elizabeth, she never listens to me and it's becoming a habit," Mr. Langford says, and I almost scoff. That's a big fat lie.

"That's a lie." I have no idea how that came out. He glares at me, but I shake out my fears. Mr. Langford is the CEO of Do and Don't. He makes you live the way he sees fit. He'll make you love the things he loves and hate the things he hates. I have never felt his love for me. So many strangers had shown me more love than my so-called father would ever show me in a lifetime. "All I do Is obey you. All my life I've done everything you ask me to do, to the extent that I no longer feel like I'm living my life but yours. You tell me who to talk to and who I shouldn't talk to. You tell me where to go and where not to. Arianna, wear a green shirt and not a red one. Arianna, do not step outside the house today. You tell me when to close my eyes and when to open them, when to drink water and when not to. I live my life to your expectations, so don't you stand there and accuse me of not obeying you because that's what you made me live for!" Tears streak over my face.

He keeps quiet for a second. "If you were such an obedient child as you claim, then Mikaela would still be alive," he says, and my eyes grow wide. Mom shakes her head, stepping closer to Mr. Langford.

"Malcolm, enough," she mutters to him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask curiously. While Mom is Shaking her head at Mr. Langford, my curiosity increases.

"You think I don't love you? You're right. It's hard to love a daughter who killed someone at the age of Eleven…" My heart begins to cut, and I'm beginning to lose strength.

"Malcolm!" Mom yells, and Charity rushes into my room. "Enough!!" she groans

"Mikeala died instantly when you pushed her to the ground. Yes, Arianna, you killed her. Lucky for you, Jeremy was willing to take the blame for it. While you were outside, we were busy covering up your mess. We made it pretty convincing by putting up a CCTV camera. You weren't supposed to see that, that was why I kept telling you to go home, but then you ran back into the house…" he narrates, and I fall to the ground.

"That's not true," I sob. "That's not…" tears shower down my face.

"Baby," Mom rushes to me. She kneels and wraps her hands around me. I hold her hands and cry as loud as I can.

                       JEREMY.

It takes one to know one. Whosoever defines you by your wrong, they are the most harmful people. I started seeing hell when I was eleven. Don't argue with me when I say, they are not always light at the end of the tunnel, they are just tunnel after tunnel, and I'm starting to get used to it. Just when things start to fall into place, something terrible happens, and lucky for me, I'm always prepared to face it. Lying face up on my bed, I keep ruminating on what the text means. My phone rings from beside me, and I pick it up, it's Prishka. I click the accept button.

"Hello?"

"Okay, you remember when I told you that life is a son of a bitch the day you were arrested…? This is exactly what I mean."

"What is it?" I ask simply, throwing and catching Anna's baseball.

"I went to every hospital in Stoneybrook, only to find Mr. Freeman's name registered at Ambrose Catholic hospital…"

"So he's hospitalized?" I ask curiously.

"That's what I thought, but when I asked to see him, they said it is restricted to visit him."

"Why?" I sit up.

"Because it's not him," she says. I'm confused, like, completely lost.

"I asked someone I knew who works at the hospital, and she said Mr. Freeman was admitted three weeks ago, on March 14th, but was later moved. She said she suddenly started seeing someone else in Mr. Freeman's room and when she asked, the doctor told her to let it go and never to speak about it to anyone"

"March 14th?" I let out. "That's Zack's birthday, that was the day he died."

"Exactly," Prishka says.

"That means Mr. Freeman never left Stoneybrook. There was no business trip, he was here all along." Things are becoming more and more complicated. Do I reach out to him and just ask if he did it? No. It'll be risky if he suspects that I'm against him.

"I secretly met with the wife of the imposter, it was hard for me to make her talk. She said during the night of March 14th, a lady came knocking at her door, offering to help her sick husband who has been suffering from a stroke. She said the lady asked for something in return, which is for her to register her husband with another name, and never allow anyone to visit him."

"That must be Mrs. Freeman."

"I thought so too, but I was wrong," she says, and my curiosity grows wider. It's as if my head is about to explode.

"Who is it then?" 

"Someone we know very well," she says I know a lot of people pretty well, but those people seem to be clueless in this case. Who is the dangerous female I know very well? Damn! I rake my finger through my hair. I got the answer two seconds after asking the question.

"Delilah," I let out.

"Exactly. The lady told me she overheard them talking about sending Mr. Freeman to New Orleans, so I figured if Mr. Freeman was hospitalized in Stoneybrook, which means he must be unhealthy, I decided to look around a few hospitals in New Orleans. It was hard, but when I saw your mom at a coffee shop, I knew for sure that she was connected. I tail her and Finally find out where they are keeping Mr. Freeman. It's like a private scientific lab, I know for a fact that Mr. Freeman is in there, but I can't get past the front door, the security is tight," she narrates. Why am I not surprised? For where Delilah goes, evil follows. But what I don't understand is why she's doing this. 

She barely tolerates Mrs. Freeman but yet they are working together. What is she trying to achieve by keeping Mr. Freeman hidden? Whatever the reason that is, I don't believe it's good.

"Thank you Prishka, but I think you should come back to Stoneybrook," I tell her. Strangely, Prishka is one of the few people I care about, and I have to keep her out of danger. I know she thinks she can handle it because her job involves dealing with dangerous things like this, but I'm starting to think that this is not just any murderer case, It seems like achieving a goal in whatever way is necessary. This is a first-class murderer.

                         ARIANNA.

I finally understand why it was hard for me to get past Mikeala's death. I can't believe I killed her. What does that make me? A Murderer? My heart burns and tears pour from my eyes. I keep squirming on the bed. I cry till my eyes start to hurt, and no matter how hard I try to stop the tears, I can't.  I desperately wish this is a nightmare and I'll finally wake up to find out that all of this is a lie. I keep pinching myself…damn, God, it's real, I killed someone, I'm a murderer. I cry till sunset, and I no longer have the strength to stand up from bed. I feel weak, I feel pain.

"Baby! Arianna?" Mom bangs on the door, probably worried I might have harmed myself in a way. I want to, but I don't even have the strength to do that. I sniff and drag myself up. I might end up dead if I let the guilt feed on me. I trudge to the bathroom and turn on the shower after taking off my clothes. I squat, and let the water pour on me. It's hard to distinguish between tears and water, but not when every drop of tears hurts your eyes, It's like I have a sore around them. After bathing, I dress up for school and head downstairs.

Charity and my mom jerks up from the dining chairs as they see me coming from the stairs. They are staring at me with moist eyes. I hate it when they look at me like that, like I'm a dying cancer patient. I think I'm worse than that, I took someone's life, I don't deserve to live.

Mr. Langford is busy with his scrambled eggs. I felt it when he said he doesn't love me. I deserve worse than that anyways

"Ahem," I clear my throat and proceed to the door.

"Honey." Mom jerks forward. I look into her eyes and I see how worried they are, but I also see the mother who has been lying to her child for the past five years. She did it to protect me, I get it, but Jeremy is also someone's child. "Break…" Unable to complete her sentence, she breathes in. "Are you okay?" She asks. Who else hates it when you're asked impossible questions? Let's see, my father told me he doesn't love me, and I also found out that I killed someone at a very tender age…oh I'm thrilled about all of that.

"I'm fine, I feel good," I tell her. She nods hopefully. Striding to school, all I can think of is Mikaela, the day she died. I think we were on Jeremy's balcony. I was playing with my baseball, while Jeremy was swinging Mikeala on a swing set. I felt bored, I think. I remember going to Jeremy and telling him to come to play baseball with me, but he refused because he was having fun with Mikeala. I was angry. Thinking about it now, I am angry.

"Stop playing with this theft and come play baseball with me." I remember whining like a jealous friend. Mikaela took a hold of the swing's chain, stopping it from swinging further.

"I won't tolerate you calling me a thief." I think that was what she said.

"Oh, you are a big, big thief." I agree, I was a very sensitive child.

Mikaela's face was stoned. "For the one hundred times, I didn't steal your book, I earned it!" She yells as she pulls from the swing. I felt happy that I was able to make her angry, she was having the best time with my own best friend.

"Yes, you did." I brought out my tongue at her. "And I'm going to take it back." I threatened, or did I? I remember running into the house, and she chased after me. I picked up the book from Jeremy's shelf and held it protectively to my chest. When Mikaela stepped into the house, my grip tightened just as her face did.

"Give it back!" She yelled at me, and I stuck out my tongue at her. She ran to me and tried pulling the book from me. "Give it back," she cries.

"No, it's mine!" I tried pulling the book from her grip.

"Guys!" Jeremy ran to us. "Stop it! Please!" I think he actually shed some tears.

"Arianna!" I heard Mr. Langford call me, but I was so determined to take back my book, which I knew was no longer mine. "Arianna, enough!" Mr. Langford yells even louder. It didn't scare me, but I knew I'd be in bigger trouble if I didn't obey him. I remember pushing her away with anger and running back outside. I think she fell and didn't get up. I killed her. I can never forgive myself for being so harsh towards her, and she'll never forgive me for cutting her life short. Just when I step into the hallway, the first person my eyes meet is Jeremy, who is sticking stuff into his locker. I'm confused and ashamed. I thought I was the better person, but it turns out that I'm the most horrible person on earth. I've been accusing him harshly all these years while he was busy taking the blame, my blame. I must be very lucky to know someone like him, someone who is willing to go to jail for me and doesn't care if his reputation is ruined. I guess that's why I didn't want him for someone else. I was supposed to stand by him, I was supposed to defend him when everyone talked trash about him, but instead, I put him in juvie by telling everyone in court that he killed Mikaela. I didn't even visit. I'm ashamed of how I hated him when he was proving how much he cares for me. I'm ashamed that I wasn't smart enough to see that he was protecting me because that's what he does best, he protects me. His eyes blink at mine, and we stare at each other in our way. He looks curious. His eyes are asking mine what's wrong? And mine doesn't exactly say, but it does give the expression that something is wrong. I blink down and manage to walk past him. 

Some of my classes seem to be interesting today, not for me but for everybody else. I feel like I'm the only one going through pain, and I can't believe the world still flows with me sad. Even Professor Sheldon is wearing a smiling face today. He greets everyone and finally announces that today is pick-your-choice day. I love pick-your-choice day, I usually squeal when I hear him say that, but today I'm unfazed, uninterested. While so many students are sticking up their hands and throwing names of books they would love to read, Mr. Sheldon scans around.

"Mr. Oscar," he calls, and that drags my attention. I look at Professor Sheldon with wide eyes, then at Jeremy. Jeremy seems confused as he looks around the class who are boring eyes of hope at him. I wonder what book he's going to pick. I hope it's not Harry Potter because that's the last book I want to listen to. He looks at me, and my heart skips, and I move my face away.

"Uhmm…I think I'd go for…" Just say it already. "Can I read a poem instead?" He asks Professor Sheldon, and I'm literally confused.