Chapter 85: Infiltration Plan

The next morning, the trio gathered at their camp, ready to formulate a new plan. The failure of their previous scheme lingered in their minds, but they were determined to find a way to infiltrate the bandits' stronghold. As they huddled together, Alice presented a bold idea.

"I'll use my beauty to seduce the bandits," she suggested, a confident glint in her eye. "That way, we can infiltrate their stronghold quietly."

Garret, always quick with a comment, raised an eyebrow. "Seduction, huh? But you might need to tone it down a bit. We don't want them suspicious. Just a regular civilian beauty should do."

Before Alice could respond, Flippy, their small, loyal creature companion, chirped in with a suggestion. "I can use a transformation technique to make Alice look less beautiful."

Alice glared at Garret. "I don't need a transformation technique to look like a civilian. And I refuse to let you mess with my appearance, Flippy."

Garret chuckled, patting Flippy on the head. "Good idea, Flippy. But Alice here is too proud to admit she might need a bit of downgrading."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I can handle this myself, thank you very much."

With a determined look, Alice perfectly disguised herself as a mortal beauty. She tore her clothes strategically, smudged her face with dirt, and ran breathlessly along the mountain path. Her appearance was flawless—she looked like a distressed civilian.

As expected, a group of mountain bandits emerged from the trees, blocking her path. There were four of them, each more rugged and scruffy than the last. They eyed Alice skeptically.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" the leader of the group sneered. "Another lost beauty in our territory?"

Alice tried to look helpless, batting her eyelashes. "Please, sirs, I need help. I'm just a poor woman trying to survive."

The bandits exchanged glances, unimpressed. One of them scoffed, "She's not even that beautiful. I've seen better."

Another bandit nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she's pretty average. Not worth much trouble."

Alice's face turned red with fury. Hidden behind the trees, Garret was barely containing his laughter. He elbowed Ruchir. "Can you believe these guys? They have no taste in women."

Ruchir shook his head, a smirk playing on his lips. "I think Alice is about to lose it."

Garret whispered, "Watch and learn, my friend. This is what happens when you mess with a woman's pride."

Alice, her patience snapping, clenched her fists. "Average? Did you just call me average?" Her voice was low and dangerous.

The bandits laughed, oblivious to the imminent danger. "Yeah, you're nothing special. Just move along."

Alice's eyes blazed with anger. In a swift, fluid motion, she unsheathed her weapon and lunged at the bandits. They had no time to react as she struck with deadly precision, taking them down one by one. Her movements were a blur, fueled by her rage.

In a matter of moments, all four bandits lay motionless on the ground. Alice stood over them, breathing heavily, her eyes still burning with fury.

Ruchir and Garret emerged from their hiding spot, stunned by the sudden turn of events. Garret, ever the joker, clapped his hands slowly. "Well, that went well. Who knew an insult could be so fatal?"

Alice turned to them, her face a mixture of anger and embarrassment. "They deserved it. No one calls me average."

Garret couldn't help but laugh. "I guess they learned their lesson. But, Alice, our plan was to infiltrate the stronghold, not to kill every bandit we encounter."

Alice huffed, crossing her arms. "They shouldn't have underestimated me."

Ruchir tried to suppress his laughter but failed. "Well, we might need a new plan again."

Garret, still chuckling, put an arm around Alice's shoulders. "You know, Alice, you really are beautiful when you're angry. Maybe we can use that to our advantage next time."

Alice shoved him away, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips. "Just don't get in my way, Garret."

Flippy, perched on Ruchir's shoulder, chirped innocently. "No transformation needed after all."

As they made their way back to camp, Garret couldn't resist one last comment. "So, Alice, do you want to give the seduction plan another try? Maybe this time without the killing part?"

Alice shot him a withering look. "Garret, if you value your life, you'll keep quiet."

The sun rose once again over the Blackwood Mountain, casting long shadows as Ruchir, Garret, and Alice sat around their campfire, brainstorming yet another plan to infiltrate the bandits' stronghold. The frustration of their previous failures hung in the air, but they were determined to find a way to succeed.

Plan A: The "Lost Merchant" Ruse

Garret donned the disguise of a wealthy merchant, complete with extravagant clothes and a fake mustache. Alice and Ruchir, acting as his guards, escorted him along a path they knew the bandits frequented. Garret, playing his role to the hilt, began loudly proclaiming the value of his "goods."

As expected, a group of bandits soon appeared, blocking their path. "Well, well, look at what we have here," sneered the leader. "A rich merchant traveling with his guards. Hand over your valuables!"

Garret, ever the actor, raised a hand in mock horror. "Oh, please, sirs! Spare my life and take whatever you want!"

Just as the bandits closed in, Garret's fake mustache peeled off and fluttered to the ground. The bandits burst into laughter at the sight, and Garret, trying to recover, tripped over his own feet, knocking into Ruchir. This caused Ruchir's sword to accidentally slice through one of the bandits' pants, revealing his undergarments. 

In the ensuing chaos, Alice couldn't contain her laughter and ended up slashing at the bandits with her weapon, killing five of them while the rest fled, their dignity in tatters. 

Plan B: The "Wounded Traveler" Deception

Alice decided to play the role of a wounded traveler, lying in the middle of the path with fake blood and a convincing groan. Ruchir and Garret hid nearby, ready to ambush the bandits when they came to investigate.

Soon enough, a group of bandits appeared. They approached Alice cautiously. "What happened to you?" one of them asked.

Alice, feigning pain, whispered, "Bandits... they attacked me... please help."

The bandits, surprisingly compassionate, started tending to her wounds. One even offered her a drink of water. Just as Ruchir and Garret prepared to strike, a squirrel scampered out of the bushes and startled Garret. He lost his balance and tumbled out of his hiding spot, crashing into Ruchir and sending them both sprawling into the open.

The bandits, initially confused, watched as Garret, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity, stood up and brushed himself off. "Just checking on my friend here," he said with a grin.

Alice, unable to keep up the charade any longer, stood and attacked, killing six bandits in the process. The rest ran off, shaking their heads at the absurdity of the situation.

Plan C: The "Bandit Imposters"

Ruchir, Garret, and Alice decided to disguise themselves as bandits to infiltrate the stronghold. They put on stolen bandit clothes and practiced their best tough-guy looks. As they approached the stronghold, they were stopped by a guard.

"Who are you?" the guard demanded.

Garret, trying to sound gruff, replied, "We're new recruits. Heard you needed more hands."

The guard, skeptical, asked for a password. Ruchir, thinking quickly, blurted out, "Uh, treasure!"

The guard laughed. "That's not the password, idiot."

Just then, Garret, in a moment of panic, blurted out, "Banana pancakes!"

The guard stared at them, dumbfounded. "What?"

Seeing the confusion, Alice tried to salvage the situation by attacking, but her foot got caught in her oversized bandit pants, causing her to trip and fall into the guard. The guard stumbled back, accidentally impaling himself on Alice's sword.

In the ensuing chaos, Garret and Ruchir ended up in a tangled mess with the other guards, inadvertently killing five more bandits in their clumsy attempts to fight.

As night fell, the trio sat around their campfire, exhausted and bewildered. Ruchir racked his brains, trying to understand why every plan they came up with ended in comical disaster. 

Garret, ever the optimist, grinned and said, "Well, at least we're thinning their numbers."

Alice rolled her eyes, but couldn't suppress a smile. "Next time, let's just keep it simple."

Ruchir sighed, looking up at the stars. "Maybe simplicity is the key. But whatever happens, at least we have each other."

And with that, they settled down for the night, ready to face whatever absurdities the next day might bring.