Dylan
Rae was trying to calm me down and while I knew I should be listening to her words and following her advice, a part of me relished the surge of anger that had filled me.
A rush in my blood, a speeding in my heart that wasn't from pain or sorrow. That was a feeling that I could soak up and let myself, well, feel. I had never been able to get angry or upset before.
I'd never been allowed to do a lot of things before. When I was in the children's home, I had to behave so that I wouldn't get punished or sent to bed without supper.
When I was in school, I had to watch the way I acted in front of others because I was a pariah and both children and adults despised the idea of the traitors' daughter being in the pack.
Living on my own was when I finally found some sort of freedom, but Alpha Rogan still came by often to make sure that I was staying as far away from everyone as I could.
Unlike now, back then I had to constantly repress my feelings. I had to take the abuse and rejections that I was constantly handed. There were times I would stand up for myself, but that also came from living on my own.
Eventually I had even taken to standing up for others. That's essentially how I ended up starting my relationship with Lecia.
Here though, I had no such restrictions. There was no one to tell me what I had to do, and I would never let anyone tell me that again.
Tristan may be my older brother and only surviving family, but he was not my alpha nor was he, my father. I had neither anymore and I honestly didn't want one.
For a time, I had considered Rogan both of those things and I would never let myself be fooled by anyone ever again.
So right now, I was choosing for myself, and I was pissed. I had watched Lecia's words crumble Nico to a small ball and it hit me in a place that I hated to look at.
I had been made to feel like that, f*ck, my whole entire life. Never being allowed to show how much I was being hurt by others words or actions. Constantly living like I was the one in the wrong.
As I watched Lecia belittle him and then turn her wrath on me, a part of me yearned for it. Like a lick of dark flame that brushed along the inside of my chest, it filled me with something I didn't know how to describe.
My words had come out soft at first because this sensation was one that I hadn't known before, but as it grew inside, like a flame that received more kindling, it ignited deep inside and looked for a way out.
Gripping the hands of the chair I sat on was the only thing I could do, but as Lecia stood there, I wished for the words to come out and to not only hurt her but scald her.
How dare she speak like that to her brother? It was obvious that he was hurting. Maybe her own pain couldn't let her see that he was barely holding on by a thread, but I saw it.
I felt it. I felt them all. I don't even know when it started, but that connection that I had felt to them that first day here was stronger now somehow.
The sting from her words had bit into me and while I had seen her snap back into herself, the calm and collected Lecia. It was too late. She couldn't take back what she had said to Nico or to me.
Eren. I hadn't even let myself think his name none the less say it. How had no one realized that I had barely been keeping the pieces of myself stitched together as best I could? I was unable to think of what had or was happening to him.
Lecia had lashed out in anger, and it was only right that I respond in kind. I loved her, like I have never loved anyone. She is the first and best friend that I have ever had, and she knew it.
So, if I can one day forgive her for this outburst, then I hope that she can do the same for me. I let the words continue to flow, but this time I didn't keep the venom inside.
No, I let it all flow out of me the way that it seemed to wish to. I imagined myself as a dragon, clasping the arms of the chair, fire in my veins, and destruction flowing from my mouth.
Rae had stopped talking and was just trying to soothe me with soft whispers. We had both seen Lecia's face at the obvious pain and the threat I had let slip, and while I felt a bit guilty, I was unmoved.
It wasn't until Lecia had left the room and I watched Mr. Winters look at me with confusion and a hint of fear follow her out, that I realized what else was going on in the room.
I heard voices coming from behind me, but my eyes were trained on Nico. He was still slumped in on himself and I saw the sheen of moisture on his cheek, but he was just staring back at me.
Green eyes watched me and while I was still seething, I didn't speak. We just stared at each other for a few more moments until I heard Micah's voice come close to me.
Finally turning towards the voices, I knew were Tristan and Micah since they were the only two still left in the room, I saw the shock and awe written on their faces.
My body felt a bit stiff as I tried to relax. Somewhere in between grasping the chair and now, I had let my claws slip out and they had dig into the wood of Tristan's chair.
The fire and venom still slithered around inside of me and while I had a better handle of it, it still seemed to wish to be released. I felt Rae soothing those flames as well, so I left her to deal with it.
"Is that you? Are you doing that?" Micah asked as he stood by the bright red sofa in Tristan's massive living room. At first, I didn't know what he meant and then looked down at the arms of the now ruined chair.
I didn't know how he had seen what I had done from all the way over there, but I moved my hands and placed them under my thighs on the seat.
Tristan who had been standing near Micah, bumped into him as he walked past him and came towards me. "She doesn't know what you're talking about. Explain yourself better."
As he walked over towards me, I saw him smile softly, but I felt the trepidation there. He came to stand beside my chair, and I felt a little bit of the fire calm down as I inhaled his scent.
I still wasn't used to the way that his scent and presence affected me, but I couldn't deny that it did. Tristan ran his hand down the arm of the chair and laughed. "Don't worry, I could care less about this crap."
Smiling at him tentatively, I asked, "did I do what?" Tristan squatted down beside my chair, and we were at eye level. He seemed to be searching my face for something, but only for a second before he turned and pointed towards the windows.
"That." That? I thought as I followed his finger and looked past Micah and the couch and saw that the sky outside was dark and full of ominous looking clouds. There was lightening in the distance and a soft but steady downpour.
Dark and cloudy days were my favorite. They made me ache for a good book, a plush blanket, and some noodles and dumplings.
With everything going on the past few days, I hadn't even thought to look at the weather forecast, but I could have sworn that it had been sunny just a moment ago.
Looking back towards Tristan I asked a little confused, "what are you talking about? The rain?" He nodded at me, but it was Micah who spoke and called my attention away from my brother.
Micah was now back at the table, and he had taken the same seat that he had earlier, but he was leaning with his elbows on the table and his fingers clasped together.
"Yes, but not just the rain. The storm. I don't know if you recall, but it had been sunny outside moments ago, and as you can see, it's not anymore."
Turning my attention quickly back to the massive windows, I watched as the rain continued to fall. His words were now rolling around inside my head and I felt confused and anxious.
Could I have really caused that? I asked Rae, and she was quiet for a few seconds, but finally responded. "Yes."
"Sorry," I let out quickly. I was looking outside, and I rocked forward on the chair. I felt antsy and uncomfortable as I slowly moved my fingers up and down against the back of my thighs.
Tristan reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder. This time I didn't flinch away from his touch as I had earlier. I sensed that he was afraid I would and was glad I hadn't.
"There's nothing for you to be sorry about Dylan. Nothing!" Tristan squeezed softly and I felt the truth of his words settle on my skin. He was absolving me of any wrongdoing even if it wasn't his place to do so.
Finally turning my focus away from the storm, I looked around the table at the faces of the others. Nico was no longer slouched in his chair. He sat straight and tall and watched me with pride or awe maybe, I wasn't sure.
Micah, on the other hand seemed to be leaning harder atop the table as he watched me with clear interest. He said nothing though as my eyes moved from Nico to him.
The intensity of his stare didn't frighten me, nor did it make me feel uncomfortable. Actually, it made me feel strangely powerful. Micah looked at me as if I was something intriguing and I liked it.
I was about to tell them what Rae had just said when the door opened, and Mr. Winters walked back in. He seemed flustered or out of sorts. The few times I have seen him, he always looked so put together.
Even now, he wasn't dressed as casually as the rest of us who, now that I thought about it, were in different stages of nightwear. I took him in from head to toe and he looked like a model who just left a shoot for a men's department store catalogue.
In fact, he suddenly reminded me of someone else who always cared about the clothes he wore and how he presented himself to others. I forced myself not to let his face flash in my mind.
Mr. Winters stopped where he was and ran his hands through his hair while he spoke. "So, is this something that you do often or is it only when you're upset? If so, I can only imagine how you acted when your brother fired you from your job."
Confusion had filled me when he had started to speak and I felt myself trying to think back if something like this had ever happened before, but it was the last part of his statement that caught my attention.
Quickly turning to Tristan, who still had his hand on my shoulder, but now stood next to me, I couldn't hold back my question. "What does he mean? Why would he say that?"
"Wait, it's not what you think," he uttered hurriedly, removing his hand from my shoulder, and held both of them up in front of him palms out towards me. It was the worry on his face that made me pause and listen to his explanation.
"We were trying to come up with ways to get you out of Blood Mist and we thought," Micah cleared his throat at that moment, and I watched a pink flush fill Tristan's cheek before he continued.
"Sorry, I thought, that if we told you that your only option was to take the position here at Aspen, we could get you here easier." Tristan stood there looking at me as if he was waiting for me to react.
So, I did. I let out a soft laugh because as I sat here trying to figure out if I can truly control the freaking weather, having just gotten into a screaming match with my best friend, and trying to hold all my broken pieces together, that was actually funny.
I could feel everyone staring at me as if I had lost my mind. Even Tristan looked hesitant before squatting down next to my chair again.
I didn't know how to explain that this little tale, in the middle of all the madness, truly brought me joy. I mean how could it not. Tristan looked so beside himself as he told me what happened, and I had to admit it would have been nice had it have worked.
My laugh made my chest feel a bit lighter and I felt the tension in the room lesson, but no one else joined me. Tristan smiled at me and then placed his hand on the arm of my chair. "Are you not angry at me?"
I was definitely angry, but none of it was directed towards him and I suddenly felt the need to let him know that. Reaching out my hand, I placed it atop his own. "I could never be mad at you for trying to save me, brother."
Tristan's eyes seemed to get larger, and I watched as his pupils expanded for a moment and then one of his iris's changed colors. He now had one the color of honey and the other weak tea.
Micah spoke up suddenly, and I felt a whoosh of air hit my back before I realized that he had not only gotten up, but now stood behind me. "Dylan, meet Kesh, this is your brother's wolf."
Shock washed over me as I quickly turned my attention towards Micah and then back to Tristan or Kesh. Tristan's head was cocked a bit to the side, and I noticed that his breathing seemed heavier or deeper, but other than his eyes, nothing seemed different.
"I believe your words just now called him forward," Micah said softly, and I had to think hard about what it was that I had just said.
My response had seemed pretty mundane as I recanted the words in my head, but it was there. The last word that had come out of my mouth, and the one I said again aloud.
"Brother?"
Tristan's eyes, both of them seemed to shimmer and I had a feeling that Tristan and Kesh were speaking to each other. I waited a moment because I was unsure if he liked what I had said or not.
"Hello Kesh," I said softly and squeezed the top of Tristan's hand that I still had mine placed on top of. "Hello Dylan," came a much rougher voice than I was used to hearing come out of Tristan's mouth, but I smiled none the less.
"It is nice to meet you. Please be safe and be happy. We will watch over you from now on. You have my word." Unsure of how to respond to his request I just nodded. Tristan's other hand moved as if he was going to bring it up towards me, but in a flash, the oddly colored iris was gone, and two amber colored ones met mine again.
"Sorry, he was just really happy to meet you and I figured this might be the best time to let him out." Tristan didn't look bashful or nervous. In fact, he seemed genuinely happy right now and I was surprised how light I was beginning to feel as well.
I smiled at him and was about to ask him how he had done that when Nico spoke and drew all of our attention towards him.
"It is you," he said softly, but not meekly. "The weather, the storm I mean. It's you. Your mood has changed, and the storm is almost completely gone." It's just like," he trailed off and I felt everyone stare at me briefly and then all look away at once.
And that dragon that I had just imagined myself being, with the fire and venom coursing through her, was now silent. Rae seemed pleased by his words though, as if she had known all along and was waiting for me to figure this out.
But while I didn't understand how this could possibly be, that same sense of power that I had felt moments ago was there again thrumming and growing.
I had a feeling that this along with these other heightened senses and feelings might all be tied to something bigger. As I looked out the window and saw the last few clouds leave the sky, I wondered what else I might control.