Chapter 19

Dylan

I knew that I shouldn't have let my hope run wild because I wasn't sure if I could live with the disappointment that was setting in. The man stayed sitting for only a moment longer, but I could take no further steps.

Damn it, I couldn't even take a breath. I stood there staring as if maybe, just maybe if I looked hard enough or willed him into being that he would change form and be the person I so longed to see.

I felt Tristan move in front of me to block my body with his own and heard Ezra whisper something to him over my head, but I didn't catch it. Because the man was moving to stand, and I didn't know what to do now.

Rae was on edge and picking up all of the scents and things around us, but she wasn't trying to force me to leave, so I just stood there and watched him move.

Noel, who's grey eyes had always looked at me with so much kindness, stared back at me as if seeing me for the very first time. There was something about the way he looked at me though that kept me rooted in place and unable to look away.

Since he was one of Alpha Rogan's private guards, I had become somewhat familiar with this man. He was much older than Alpha Rogan and most of the other guards, but he was one of the last people I expected to see here.

I watched as he stood, bowed low to me, and then just stood there watching me. I watched him right back and took in his appearance since I couldn't manage to do much else.

Noel wore the usual all black uniform that Rogan's men practically lived it, but his salt and pepper hair looked a little longer on top then I recalled ever seeing it.

"What business do you have here," Tristan asked. "you told the guards you would speak to no one but Dylan. How did you even know that she was here?"

For a few seconds Noel didn't respond to Tristan's questions, and his gaze never once left my own. 

Ezra seemed to be busy doing something with his hands or with a phone maybe. He was beside me and I felt when he stepped close enough to be able to feel the warmth coming off his skin, but he did not touch me.

It wasn't until Nico spoke up and I turned to search for where he stood that I felt a soft pull or tug at my thoughts.

"Noel, why are you here? Did he send you here? Do you know if my parents are okay? Do you know if E," he cut off looking at me and then quickly turning his attention back to Noel.

I knew what he was about to ask, but I'm glad he didn't. I didn't want to know or maybe I did, but I couldn't handle hearing anything about him right now. Not here. Not like this.

Rae was talking to me again and this time I felt a burst of something from her fill me momentarily. "You can do this precious girl, you are stronger than you think, I know you are."

Taking a deep breath, I let all the scents and feelings that I was still getting used to sink into me and envelop my senses. 

Noel smelled of salt and sweat and had an earthy scent that reminded me of the soil that I used to plant the tiny little flowers in that I used to have on my porch.

I didn't want to think about that place or that house or that life right now. All I wanted was to find out why he was here and find something to take away the ache that was building in my head.

Ezra who was still fiddling with his hands spoke up then and I felt the tension build quickly. "You come here and demand to speak to Dylan, yet here she is, and you still haven't said a word. Either speak or she will leave this room."

I saw the flash of a darker steely grey flash in Noel's eyes, but his features didn't give anything else away.

"Yes, I came here to speak with the little miss, but no one else," Noel said swiftly and with little emotion in his voice at all.

A growl and snarl erupted from beside me, but it was Nico who spoke out above them. "Noel, be serious for a moment. You should be thankful they even let you in this room, there is no way we will leave you here with her alone."

Noel's gaze left mine for the first time and when he looked over to Nico, I saw a crack in the act he was putting on as he said, "To see if she is here. No, and no."

I realized, I think before the others, that he was answering Nico's earlier questions. Maybe I should have let him finish that last one. An ache in my chest both wished for it and were grateful he hadn't at the same time.

Damn these warring emotions, I felt almost exhausted at this point from all the back and forth of my own thoughts and feelings, but Rae was right, I need to do this.

Stepping to the side so that Tristan only covered a portion of my frame with his own, I found my voice. "Noel, why did you come to see if I was here? Did he send you here to look for me?"

Noel's throat bobbed once, then twice, before he finally spoke directly to me, and I suddenly wished that I had asked the others to leave the room.

"Ay, I did come to see if you were here, but not because he sent me, but another. Blood Mist is not safe for you or anyone right now, but are you truly safe here little miss?"

I didn't take my eyes off of Noel, but I felt and heard the others both in and out of the room whispering to each other.

"Why did you come searching for her," Ezra asked.

"Who is he, who sent you here," Nico demanded.

"Of course, she is safe with me, it's you animals she was never safe with," Tristan snarled, and it was his voice that rang out the loudest. 

I felt everything that he put in those words, the pain, the anger, the regret, and so much more, but it was the truth that I felt in both his and Noel's words that pushed me forward again. Placing my hand on Tristan's back I spoke again.

"I was never safe there, and while I may not know everyone here well, I know that Tristan will keep me safe. Tell me who sent you to find me and what they want from me, but I am telling you now that I will never go back there."

Tristan seemed to stand a bit taller, and I was almost positive that I was picking up the scent of caramel coming from him, and I thought that he might be smiling.

Noel was still watching me, but he seemed to be ready to talk because he was answering the questions the others had asked and giving information for ones that no one had but should.

"I was sent to Willow Winds to deliver a message. Rogan has not been himself since everything that has happened and there are few if any he trusts right now, but he asked me to come here right before I left. I have a feeling that he knew what I would find though."

Ezra's hand began to vibrate and flash, and I realized that I had been correct earlier, and he had been messing with his phone which he still held in his hand. 

He didn't excuse himself to go and answer it, but instead answered it right here in front of us all. "It's about damn time, where the f*ck are you? Yeah yeah. Get your a** back here. One of Rogan's dogs is here."

When he hung up his phone, we were all looking at him, but he had a huge grin on his face as if proud of himself for the little jab he had been able to get in before getting off his call.

"Who was that" Tristan asked, and I wondered for the first time, if he was choosing to speak to him aloud so that I could hear what he was saying and not leaving me out.

'Blane,' he said sounding both annoyed and almost giddy, "he took Gabe for a drive, and they are on their way back now. I didn't want him to miss any of the fun."

I didn't know what about this was fun right now, but I also knew very little about Ezra and for all I knew this could actually be quite entertaining to him.

I still didn't understand what it was that Noel wanted from me. Did he just want to confirm that I was here or was he sent here to find me to report back to Rogan so that they could come and retrieve me.

Rae was talking animatedly then, "that will not happen young one, we will not go back to him, I will not let him keep you."

"Noel, can you tell me what you meant when you said that Blood Mist is not safe for anyone right now? While it was never safe for me, I don't recall others having any issues."

This time when the shame rolled over Noel's features, he wasn't able to hide it and though it shouldn't have brought me any kind of satisfaction, I couldn't deny that it did.

"You're right lass, and for that I will go to the gods with all the shame I bear for not doing enough to stop it, but our alpha is not in his right mind right now and more than you know are in danger."

"What do I care for the others of Blood Mist. That was never my pack. Those were never my people. I was hated and despised and ridiculed there. Why should I care what Rogan does with those people?"

The words had slipped from my mouth without any thought or consideration, but they were true. Why should he come here and try to make me feel sorry for Blood Mist?

Had any of them felt sorry for me, the poor orphaned wolf whose parents had left her unbound and unbonded to the pack they had supposedly betrayed?

A flutter in the tips of my fingers had started and while I wasn't exactly sure what was going on inside of me, I didn't run from it or try to squish it down. 

No, I welcomed it. I welcomed this feeling, this presence. Thoughts of what had happened this morning with Lecia were coming back to me and so was it.

That fire and poison, the image of the dragon who could not only shatter but destroy. She was waking up and I didn't just let her, I welcomed her.

Noel's eyes met mine and I saw the look of confusion cross over his face for a moment. "You are correct lass, you did nothing to deserve the things done to ya', but neither did he, and I know he helped ya' get out of there and that is why I am here."

"Noel," Nico said quickly, "who sent you here? Why are you looking for Dylan? Are you supposed to report this back to Alpha, I mean Rogan?"

At the sound of his name on Nico's lips I felt the fire building. That man had not just hurt me, but he had hurt him and Lecia as well. We had all lost something precious on our way here and for that alone I would never forgive him.

Noel seemed to get what Nico was asking and he rubbed his big, scarred hand down his face as he took in a few deep breaths.

"No boy. I was not sent here by the Alpha of Blood Mist. In fact, I'm surprised you haven't seen his scouts by now. They must 'a not come looking here yet."

But before anyone could ask, he continued. "I went to the dungeons before I left, and Vit sent me here. He was caught that day, trying to help the boy and Zane had him beaten and thrown in the cells."

Tristan had walked forward and went to stand on the opposite side of the table to where Noel stood.

"What happened to him, is Rogan going to kill him? Did he find out who he is," Tristan asked or more like demanded.

Visions of Vit coming to see me both in my house, and in the hospital filled my mind and I felt a small ache. He had sacrificed himself to get me out of Blood Mist. Was he going to be another death that I would have to take responsibility for?

The fire dulled a bit, and I used my right hand to rub at the pressure I felt in my chest. Guilt was just as painful as regret and right now those two were warring with each other on who would do me in first.

"I don't know," Noel answered solemnly. "I thought he had already killed him, but when I found him in the cells, he didn't look too good, but he is the one who told me to come here to see if she was okay."

Tears filled my eyes and I had to hold them back. If I let them fall now, there would be no stopping them and I needed to know what else Noel did.

Tristan was bombarding him with questions, and I heard rather than saw Ezra messing with his phone again. 

Nico came to my side and while I wished to reach out to him, I was filled with those same thoughts as before. What if Nico and Lecia's parents are no longer safe there? It was the desire to ask that final question that kept my hands at my side.

I could feel my heart racing as I built up the courage and strength to do what I still needed to.

Squeezing my fists into my palms and letting the nails rip and tear at the skin was helping me and I finally blurted out my question above Tristan's voice and Noel's answers.

"Is he alive?"

I felt everyone look at me, but when Noel's gaze met with mine, I knew that he knew exactly who I was speaking of. 

As the seconds ticked by and I waited for him to give me the answer that could possibly damn us all, I felt Rae brace herself.

"I do not know las, I'm sorry," and the unshed tears that filled his eyes let me know that he truly was sorry.

This time I let the tears fall, but I dug my fingernails in deeper as I braced myself for the onslaught of emotions, I knew I couldn't yet control.

I felt my chest rise and fall quickly. The blood that trickled down my hands and between my fingers felt so hot that I wasn't sure if my blood was truly boiling, but I honestly didn't care. SHE was awake and she was a living, breathing beast.

A cry ripped from my throat, and I imagined that it was carried up towards the heavens and straight to the gods who had never helped me before.

I imagined the sky ripping open and piercing the clouds. The not knowing was worse than I could have imagined, and I was done with it.

Voices were calling out to me, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. The only thing I did was push my nails harder and deeper into my palms.

The pain was grounding me just enough to keep me from going over the edge, but I knew I was close to the tipping point.

Why? Why had this happened? Why hadn't we left sooner? Why hadn't I realized sooner what he was to me? 

"Why? Why? Why?"

It wasn't until I not only heard the response to the question, I hadn't realized I was saying aloud, but felt it breathed along my cheek and whispered in my ear.

"I don't know Dylan. I'm sorry, I don't know, but if he is alive, we can find him. If he kept Vit alive, maybe he kept Eren alive to."

When I opened my eyes, I realized it was Lecia holding onto me. She was wrapped around me, and I felt the damp tears on her cheek that was pressed against mine.

I couldn't tell if they were hers or mine, but I felt the tremble in her body as she shook. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she whispered again, and I felt her squeeze me a little tighter.

About to wrap my arms around her, I remembered that they were full of blood, so I left them hanging at my sides, but it was Noel's voice that caught hold of me again.

"He knew what you were. This whole time, gods, he f*cking knew," Noel whispered almost like a curse.

"He's alive. I know he is because if he had killed your mate, I guarantee we'd all be dead by now las, I mean little Princess," Noel said before he knelt on one knee before us all.