Chapter 20

Lecia

I hate this room! I hate this bed! I hate it all, but most of all, I hate myself! I've been laying here for what felt like hours now regretting everything that had come out of my mouth earlier.

Actually, I regretted it the moment the words had come out of my mouth, but it was too late. This was all my fault. How could I have been so stupid? Gods, I truly am the absolute worst.

"Uh," I groaned out loud and it echoed throughout the room since there was no one here to talk to since even Brea seemed to be ignoring me. 

Gods, I have been resigned to this lonely existence and I have no one to blame but myself. This wasn't the first time I've let my mouth get me into trouble, but I've never felt as bad as I do right now.

Over the years I've snapped at my family, friends, classmates, and sometimes even strangers, but when I watched the way that Dylan's face fell, I knew I had gone too far.

Well, Brea had already been snapping at me when I saw the devastation on Nico's face and he practically sunk in on himself, but I knew he would forgive me.

Dylan was different though and it wasn't like I had spoken to her like that when we were alone. I had spoken to her in front of her brother and his friends.

Gods, I didn't just have to earn her forgiveness, I would have to ask for his as well. Like everything I had said in that room wasn't enough, I had practically accused him of being some kind of villain mastermind when he had followed me out to the hall.

Brea was practically threatening me at that point, but I not only couldn't stop myself from snapping at him, but I also didn't want to.

There was something about Roane Winters that I couldn't figure out right away, but it has been nagging at me this entire time.

I've heard of Aspen Communications and even did some research about the company when I had first started hanging out with Dylan, but there hadn't been much about Mr. Winter's online.

As a matter of fact, the more that I thought about it, the weirder everything seemed, especially after Dylan had come back from her visit to their corporate offices.

She had told me the whole story about who her boss really was and what she had come to find out, but then he goes and fires her, and now he helps Tristan to get her out of Blood Mist just because their friends.

No, there was something that he was hiding, besides the fact that he had a wolf. I had felt it when I had met him that first day. There was an aura about him that felt hurt or sick, but I didn't realize what it was at first.

It wasn't until he had taken Nico and me to our room that I had been able to finally figure out what it was. Since I've never come across anyone else dealing with whatever it is that he is, it took a bit longer to figure out the problem.

And maybe it isn't even a problem, but I can tell that he is not happy about the fact that he can't access his wolf. His scent would definitely be much different if that was the case. There was an insecurity he was trying to conceal.

So now that I thought about it, I need to get everyone's forgiveness, well everyone besides Micah. Thank the gods that he hadn't spoken up earlier. 

I had a really good feeling that if I would have snapped at him that I would not have liked what may have ended up coming out of his mouth or his hands for that matter.

A shiver ran down my spine as I remembered all of the stories that I've heard about the kind of magic that the fae can use and if I was being honest, Micah looked just like what I had imagined those fae from the stories looked like.

Brea seemed to grumble something about "deserving it," but I acted like I didn't hear her. If she wanted to ignore me, then I would ignore her right back.

It had taken me a while to get off that damn elevator and thankfully, Brea had still been talking to me at the time, but I guess it was only so that she could get me into the room.

Because as soon as I was in here, she had receded to the back of my mind and practically harrumphed as she threw her own little tantrum.

At first, I had cried on the floor. I cried out of anger and sadness and regret, but it wasn't just that. I was grieving and I needed to process this all.

There are so many things that have happened and so many things that I'm still worried about and I was handling it in all the wrong ways. But most of all, I cried for my stupidity and ignorance.

While Brea seemed to sit back and watch, I felt the peace and calm that she was trying to send to me as she silently tried to soothe my aching heart.

Dylan was right, who was I to try to say what Nico should be doing or how she was or wasn't feeling without even asking her about it. 

Cruz was my little brother and while I loved him and he owned a part of mine and Nico's hearts and lives, the loss that she was going through was completely different.

She had lost her friend and her mate all in one fell swoop, and while I had no idea if she knew that she had already started to fall in love with Eren or if she was now just realizing it, our situations couldn't compare.

The loss of a friend was one thing, the loss of a family member was much harder, but the loss of a mate is considered to be unimaginable. Somehow in my own despair I had forgotten that fact. 

How had I not even thought to take that into consideration? Dylan's words had seemed to slap me as she admitted that she was not only sad, but afraid that Nico and I would blame her.

But it wasn't just that, it was the guilt, the pain, and the not knowing that seemed to be eating at her and if that wasn't enough, the threat and warning that she had let slip made me tremble as I heard the storm outside hit.

It wasn't just the fact that she had caused a damn thunder or lightning storm to manifest out of nowhere, but it was the darkness that seemed to fill her eyes as she spoke.

Whatever was happening to Dylan now that we had left Blood Mist was just the beginning because Brea and I both felt it getting stronger, that pull towards her.

It wasn't just a pulling sensation though, it was a need and desire to not only be near her, but to follow her, serve her, protect her and when her emotions ran wild like that, the desire only intensified.

Feeling like I needed a drink, a nap, and a personality transplant, I somehow managed to finally get myself up, drag myself to this room, change and then throw myself back onto the bed to finish crying out whatever fluid was left inside of me.

Eventually I cried myself out and I must have fallen asleep because I found myself dreaming of being back in Blood Mist. 

The dream was of a time when I was younger, maybe fourteen of fifteen and I was playing near the shore with the twins.

My parents had brought us on a trip to the beach since the weather was still so warm, and I recalled being at the age where I hated every idea that my mother came up with.

Nico and Cruz were playing in the water and my father and mother were sitting on chairs under some shade. I remember walking along the shore kicking up the itchy white sand.

Brea was trying to get me to go and enjoy playing with the twins, "time moves too fast, you can't let these moments pass you by, you may end up regretting it later in the future."

While her words had made the me who knew I was dreaming ache, the me in the dream only seemed to be annoyed and continued walking away from my family.

It was then that I noticed the girl leaning against the large tree trunk watching my brothers playing in the water.

I recognized her right away. Everyone knew who Dylan Solamier was, the orphaned wolf whose parents had been traitors and ended up finding grace from Alpha Rogan's kindness.

While I had never been part of the group of kids who taunted and teased her, I also hadn't made an effort to try to talk to her either.

As I stood there watching her, I remembered that I actually started to feel a bit sorry for the girl. She was all alone in a world that seemed to be completely against her and yet it hadn't broken her down.

I recalled thinking that she was probably a really strong wolf to be able to survive through all the things that have been thrown her way. It was then that I noticed how the weather changed quite suddenly and it began to rain softly.

Brea had gone quiet while we watched her, and I had considered going over and trying to introduce myself, but she had turned her head all of a sudden and when she saw me, she immediately turned and ran in the opposite direction.

When I walked back over to my brothers, I called them to the sand and helped them make one of the absolute worst sandcastles in history. While the drizzle disappeared quickly, I couldn't understand where it had come from on such a nice day.

The twins had laughed and thrown sand everywhere before tackling each other on top of the mounds that we had tried to pretend were a castle, but while they rolled around in the sand all I could think about were the tears I saw streaking down her face.

An ache in my chest roused me from my sleep and I woke to find myself lying face up in the same damn bed yet again. Remembering Cruz like that was hard, but I knew that these memories were a blessing and one day I will be able to see them as such.

It was the last part of my dream that seemed to replay in my head. That had been the first time that I saw Dylan in pain.

My chest ached a bit and I felt Brea coming forward again. I guess she was done being pissed off with me, but before I had time to say anything to her, I felt Nico's link.

"Lecia, you have to come down here now! We are in the lobby, tell Brea to find me. Dylan needs you!"

Brea was on high alert, and I had jumped out of the bed and sprinted out the suite and headed for the elevator, but Brea demanded, "take the stairs."

Opening the door that led to the stair well, I began to race down them faster than I thought I could, and I knew Brea was lending me her agility.

"Faster Lecia," she urged, and I ended up jumping from the last landing to the floor level without really thinking about it.

The moment I swung the door open, things began to look a little overwhelming. There were men and women in black suits everywhere and some of them were even armed.

Wolves were mixed in with them and I could pick out each one, but I didn't have time to deal with them. I scented the air, and Brea yelled, "left, go left!"

Sprinting towards a hallway, I picked up that same scent that I was now already associating with old silvery haired Winters, but I didn't have time for him now either.

There was a room at the end of the hallway I was heading down and when I was about to barge in, I not only heard her cry, but I felt it run through my entire body.

"No," I said a loud and practically shoved the tall bald guard who looked like he was going to try to block my entrance.

"Let her by Reg," I heard someone call from behind me, but I didn't have time to turn and thank them. Rushing through the doorway I almost collided with Nico, but it was the others in the room who made me momentarily pause.

To my utter shock, Noel, stood near the opposite end of a large, massive table, but no one besides Nico had even seen or cared that I had entered the room.

By the time I turned to face Dylan, the scent of her blood in the air had not only set Brea on edge it had made my blood run cold.

I had failed her once before, but I would not do it again, nor would I let her harm herself. Moving towards her, I did the only thing I could think of, I threw my arms around her and held on tight.

Imagines of her crying from my dream, the way she had broke in front of me when I recited Eren's words to her, how her face had fallen when I yelled at her all flashed through my mind.

Dylan was taller than me, but I wrapped my arms around her entire body and pressed every part of myself as close to her as I could possibly get. 

No one could take her pain away from her, but I wanted to, no, I needed to let her know that she was not alone and if this was the only way to get through to her right now I would do it.

Dylan wasn't fully in this room, or fully in control and I could tell by the words that were escaping from her mouth something strange was happening inside of her.

She was asking, so I would answer her. She was not alone; she would never be alone again. I'd be damned if I would ever let her cry alone again.

"I don't know Dylan. I'm sorry, I don't know, but if he is alive, we can find him. If he kept Vit alive, maybe he kept Eren alive to."

My face was facing up and our cheeks were pressed together, and I spoke loud and clearly to make sure that I would get my words to reach her and bring her back.

Tears were running down my cheeks and they mixed with the ones on her own, and it made me hold her even tighter.

 "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I whispered over and over, and I squeezed her with a little more force.

Her body flinched and I didn't know if it was because she had realized it was me holding her and she was still angry or if it was because she was in shock, but I felt her shaking body slowly still.

"He knew what you were. This whole time, gods, he f*cking knew," Noel had whispered then and I couldn't help but turn to look at him.

"He's alive," Noel demanded, and he said something else, but his words were drowned out by Dylan's racing heart beats, but I caught his last word, "princess."

I watched as he knelt before her, but we didn't have time to ask him what he was talking about because apparently the voice I had heard in the hall moments ago had in fact been none other than the infamous Mr. Winters.

"I don't know what let you think that you could just show up here and not only make demands, but cause a scene, but it seems like you have some important information sir, would you like to share it with the rest of us?"

I only turned to look towards him when he had finished speaking. I noticed that he was not alone where he stood. Micah and the man who had come to help extract us from Blood Mist stood beside him and none of them looked pleased.

Tristan, to my surprise had moved beside where I still stood practically binding my body to Dylan's, but he acted as if I wasn't even there.

"Let me see your hands, they're bleeding," he called as he reached for them. "She does that when she's trying to ground herself when she gets anxious or upset," I uttered without really thinking about it.

Both Dylan and Tristan seemed to finally realize I was there because they both turned to look at me.

Hesitantly, I looked at Dylan and waited to see how she was going to react. Would she push me away or yell at me to leave? If she did, she would have every right, but thank the gods, she just gave me a slight grin and said, "yeah, I guess I do."

I couldn't stop the tears that fell again, but I knew that this was it, our fight was over. She had not forgiven me in so many words, but I felt the ease leave my chest.

Tristan didn't smile or look pleased and was yelling to someone through the still open door to have bandages brought in.

Loosening my grip on her and stepping back, I let my arms slide down to her hands and grasp them softly. "Let's get you cleaned up so we can figure out what to do next, Princess," I said with a wink and watched the shock spread across her features until her grin turned into a true smile.