Foreword

It was a long, long time ago since I lived that first life of mine. So long that I am not able to count it or remember it exactly.

I was born in Japan in about 1993 of that world. I say approximately because, as I mentioned, it's been a long time since then, so I don't remember it well. At the same time, I am no longer able to recognize either my parents' faces or the one I myself had at that time. I keep in mind that I had a quiet life from the moment I was born until the moment I passed away. I always lived well. I had no great luxuries, but I did not live badly.

I don't think I ever stood out in school, but I never did poorly academically. What I do know for sure is that when I entered high school, I met the woman I would fall in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with, but I can't remember her face. However... I can't remember her face either. What did she look like? slim? what color were her eyes? green, maybe? or were they brown? If I'm not mistaken, she was very energetic, cheerful and good-natured. One thing I can't get out of my mind is that her smile dazzled me from the first moment I saw her. I always wanted to see that majestic smile. Heck... I just wish I could remember what she looked like. I just know that I liked her a lot.

During the course of high school I managed to get close to her and even establish close ties. As time went by, we got closer and closer, until we ended up having a romantic relationship.

In college I studied everything related to manga and anime, because I had always liked that kind of thing and because I was a pretty decent drawer. She leaned towards the studies of... What was it? I think she studied medicine... Or maybe business administration.

Anyway, we both got married after we finished college. I was finally going to live with the person I loved. With that person I loved from the depths of my being. Yes! With the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my days with! The love of my life! That person who was ideal for me!... Argh... Damn, if only I could remember something about her. Even if it was the name, or maybe the face, or that smile that I couldn't get out of my head. Just something that could bring back those beautiful memories of those nostalgic days.

Well, as I was saying. A few years after we got married, we found out that she had become pregnant. I still remember that great emotion I felt from the depths of my chest. That immeasurable joy that ran through the inside of my body, from my strong, beating heart to the tips of my toes.

Aside from joyful, I also felt nervous. Nervous of what lay ahead. Nervous about whether I would be able to raise this new life. Nervous of the great responsibility I had been given. But that nervousness was nil compared to the joy that surged through my body. I couldn't wait to start that new stage of my life. That stage where I could live with the woman I loved, with the job I loved and, above all, with the person I was going to love more than anyone else in my life.

I think it was after 6 months after we found out my wife had gotten pregnant when that happened. It would be around 2018. A few weeks shy of my 25th birthday.

It was a rainy day. Much more than usual. The streets were flooded and cars could hardly drive. There were really few people on the streets. Those that were, were really desperate to get to a roofed place and take shelter from the deluge.

The reason I had left home that lousy day was that I got an appointment with a company to see the manga I was developing. If everything went well, I would be able to work with them and get a stable and well-paid salary. This meant that I would be able to support my family with less worries.

However, it was at that moment that my life changed. There I was, waiting to cross the street. Behind me, about 10 feet away, there was a mother and daughter. The mother was carrying an umbrella and the girl was wearing a yellow raincoat. They were under a small awning so they wouldn't get soaked. They were discussing something. I imagine it was a minor issue, because the mother kept repeating things like "Stop complaining about such insignificant things, you're too old for that".

I could already imagine myself having those kinds of discussions with my own daughter. Because yes, the doctors had already confirmed that we were having a baby girl. A baby girl I couldn't wait to see and raise with as much love as I could possibly muster.

That's when it all happened.

As I waited for the traffic light to turn red so I could cross the street, a yellow silhouette came into my view. This silhouette was heading towards the street. A street where vehicles were still passing by. I knew very well who that yellow silhouette belonged to. It belonged to the girl who seconds before was behind me arguing with her mother.

-Wait, you can't cross yet!

Those were the words that came out of my mouth, as soon as I identified that the one who ran past me was that girl.

I don't know the reason for her flight into the dangerous street. What I do know for sure is that, as soon as I identified the yellow silhouette, I ran after it, with a desperation I had never felt before.

When I was a few centimeters away from reaching it, lights shone on me completely and I heard a noise that any human being would recognize. Tong-toooong. It was a horn, more precisely a truck horn. I noticed it instantly. I saw that the truck tried to brake, but with the weather in that condition, it wasn't going to stop in time. For that reason, I stretched as far as I could to reach the girl. When I did, I pushed her. I pushed her as hard as I could, to get her out of harm's way. However, there was no one there to push me out of this desperate situation.

That's how I died. Crushed by a truck. The last words that went through my mind were "Shit".

...

The only thing I remember after that was that I saw a big white flash. In the middle of the flash I could see a figure. A completely white one, so I couldn't make out its features in their entirety.

That flash lasted a few seconds. When I opened my eyes again, I was looking at the ceiling. One I had never seen before. Well... I guessed it was a ceiling, because I could see everything half-blurry. I didn't know why, but I couldn't see clearly. I remembered the accident I had just had with the truck, so I figured it could be the after effects of the crash. I also came to the conclusion that I was in a hospital, because I noticed that I was lying on a stretcher, and because, from time to time, people in white and some light blue outfits were peeking out.

Something didn't quite fit for me, though. I felt like I was lying on something soft, but it wasn't like a mattress, it was more like skin. I began to slowly turn my head to the right. What I found was something I wasn't expecting. I was being held by a woman. One I had never met before. I don't remember what her face looked like, but I do remember that she was staring at me with a smile. Even though I couldn't see clearly, I could make that out.

"It can't be" I thought at that instant. I continued by turning my head towards my figure to clear my doubt. My body, which should have been that of a developed adult male, was gone. Rather it was, but it didn't look like it should have. I had one much smaller than mine. One covered in a white cloth that didn't let me move. I began to move my tongue back and forth inside my mouth. I didn't have any teeth.

That was the moment I realized what had happened. I had obtained the body of a newborn baby. Or more precisely, I had been reborn.

When I found out, I felt great anguish. I knew that I could not go on with my past life. That I would not be able to continue living with the person I fell in love with. That I would not be able to meet my daughter. That I would not be able to get the job of my dreams. A wave of feelings washed over me, and immediately, tears began to well up in my eyes. I cried. I cried like I had never cried before. I unloaded all my feelings of resentment, sadness and anguish on that long, painful cry.

...

I continued my life as if nothing had happened. I never told my parents what had happened to me and tried to pass myself off as a normal child.

Years passed, and I noticed some intriguing things, which led me to the conclusion that I had been reincarnated in a world similar to my own, but different in small ways. First of all, I had been born in approximately the year 2000 in the United States, so I assumed that I was reborn in a time past my own. I ended up discarding that possibility because, as time went on, I noticed that there were small details of events that occurred that were different from what I had experienced. For example, the attack on the Twin Towers occurred on September 27 instead of September 11; or, for example, the history books mentioned the discovery of America in 1496, instead of 1492

No matter what world he was in, he had obtained the gift of reincarnation, so he intended to make ample use of it.

I decided to pursue my chosen profession in my previous life, so I dedicated myself to improving my drawings from an early age. All the other things in my daily life, such as school, were not a problem for me, since I had already been through it all.

I went on living in a way that I didn't regret, and trying to do all the things I couldn't do. I made great friends, worked at what I had always dreamed of, and married a woman I came to love almost as much as the one from my previous life. I had 2 children with her. They both grew up splendidly, and became men I was proud of. They married and had children, whom I spoiled as any grandfather would. I watched them grow up, and even marry. One of them had a daughter at a younger or younger age, so I got to meet my great-granddaughter. At the age of, I think I remember, 86, my wife died, and shortly thereafter, I died.

Yes, that was my life when I reincarnated. A quiet and carefree one. I had no regrets. I could die without the worry of leaving something unfinished in the past.

When I died, I saw a flash like the one I had seen in my first life, and the same white figure. After that, I opened my eyes again. My vision was blurry and I was in a hospital ward. I repeated the same process as the last time and came to the same conclusion... I had been reincarnated again.

...

"How is this possible?", "Did I reincarnate again?". That was what I kept asking myself. Once is already very lucky, not to say impossible, but twice? It didn't make sense.

As time went by, I noticed small changes in the world that differentiated it from my first and second life. Because of this, I confirmed the hypothesis I had formulated earlier: I had been reincarnated in a different universe.

Unable to do much else, I accepted my fate and went on with my life as normal. I graduated, studied a different profession and, although it was hard to leave my former life behind, I got married and started a family. I enjoyed that opportunity again to the fullest. There was nothing I regretted, and just as I came into that world I also left. I died once again.

A flash, a figure, a hospital and a new body. Everything was repeating itself.

...

It didn't stop there. I lost my life and was born again. It didn't stop there either. I lost my life and was born again. And it didn't stop there either. I lost my life and was born again. Nor there. I lost my life and was born again. And I lost my life and was born again.

Without realizing it, that cycle became a normality for me. I repeated the same process over and over again. I would choose a new profession, process leaving behind the previous world I had lived in, look for a partner and start a family. At no time did I know why I was being reincarnated, but I tried not to overthink it and moved on without questioning it too much.

I went on like this until, in what would be around my 25th reincarnation, I could not go on any longer. I could not bear to go on living. I questioned the reason for everything. It made no sense to me to live so many good lives, if the only one I wanted to enjoy the most was the first one. The one in which I couldn't be with the woman I loved and I couldn't even meet my own daughter. That was my biggest regret. I didn't want to continue with that farce. For that reason, I committed suicide. That's when I met him...

...

This time I was not reincarnated. I was in a completely white place. I couldn't see the end, if I had one. In fact, I couldn't see the floor I was sitting on either. My body was what impressed me the most. It was changing appearance in parts. I had no idea why.

Hello

I looked up. A few feet in front of me was a figure. It was the same white figure I had been seeing every time I died. I couldn't quite make out its features because everything was white, but I could clearly see that it was smiling.

Oiiiiiii, I'm talking to you

I stared at him. His words rang inside my head.

What happened? Don't you understand me?

-Where am I? Who are you?

Oooh, you can talk

Where are we? Mmmh. It is difficult to explain. Let's say it's a place out of space-time, a place away from all worlds. And as for the second question, let's not get ahead of ourselves. For now you can call me White

-Huh? I don't understand anything. What are you, a god?

Hahaha. You could say that I am a god, and it is normal that you don't understand what is happening.

I didn't understand anything. What the hell was going on? Was this guy really a god?

Several seconds passed without either of us saying a word. In the meantime, we stared at each other. He had a smile on his face at all times.

Now, tell me... Why did you do that?

As he said that, he twisted his head to the side and his expression changed completely. That carefree smile he had was completely gone. He now had a serious look on his face as he stared at me. A shiver ran through my body. I was intimidated.

Tell me, why did you do it?

Another shiver ran through me. He asked me the same question again, but I didn't know what he was talking about.

Why did you decide to take your own life? How did you come to that conclusion? Do you know what many would give to have a chance like yours?

Aah. So that's what I was talking about. Wait, so that means...

-Are you the one who gave me the gift of reincarnation?

Indeed. I was the one who allowed you to reincarnate all these times. Answer me, why did you do it?

-I... I couldn't bear to go on living. -I... I was suffering. I just want to be with the woman I left behind, and live with her and my daughter the life that I couldn't.

Huh? Were you in pain? What are you talking about? This is nothing. I thought this was actually going to give you a break and peace of mind for what's to come.

-What's coming? What are you talking about?

Agh. We're running out of time, I'll tell you in detail the next time we meet. What I can tell you for now is this: You're going to live a total of 100 lives, so you've got a long way to go. From the 50th, you are going to go through hell. Therefore, I strongly recommend that you enjoy every single one of them until you get there.

His smile reappeared. Everything around me began to darken, that place, which was completely white, began to turn black.

Well, it looks like this is where we say goodbye

-Huh? Wait. What does that mean? -I reached out my hand as if to grab it, but I couldn't move from where I was.

As I said, we'll save it for next time. But I warn you, do not take your life again. If you do, I will begin such suffering immediately.

The darkness spread on a grand scale, until any slightest presence of the flashing white that surrounded me was no longer there. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, I was in a hospital bed.

...

After that, I didn't know what to think. "Was that really a god, 100 lives I have to live, I've got more than half of them left!". However, no matter how full of doubt I was, there wasn't much I could do. So, I had no choice but to accept my fate and move on.

My lives were passing by. Each one I enjoyed less and less. I started to become a more serious guy, with less emotions even. The only thing that kept me afloat during that time was family. Those bonds I was forming with the people around me allowed me to stay on my feet. Little by little the word family became sacred to me. Something that could bring me out of my moments of agony and calm me down.

In this way, I reached my 50th reincarnation.

...

Hello, hello. It's been a long time

-...-. I stared at the white figure standing a few steps away from me.

I said hello, hello. How are you? How did it go?

-Argh, my near mental breakdown aside, I'd say good.

Oh, you're a bit of an exaggerator, aren't you?

I didn't say anything, I just stared at him.

-Well, now explain to me what this is all about. The last time we met you said that I had to go through a hundred lives, and that from now on I'm going to live through hell, right?

Mmh, looks like someone is going straight to business. Haha, I like it. Well, I'll tell you more details. You...

He paused briefly.

You have been selected as a soldier. More specifically as a champion

-What do you mean?

I'm sorry to tell you, but you're basically left in a dispute between two gods. I am a god from a different world than you. Said world has been in a constant dispute for control between two gods. Since neither can directly affect the world itself, each chooses people who will fight on his behalf, called champions, i.e. his soldiers. And you... have been selected as one of them.

-What the hell are you saying? Me? A soldier? You've got to be kidding me.

That's right, the idea of all these reincarnations that you are living, is that you prepare yourself for what is coming. This is the only way you will survive

-Huh?

Thus, from one moment to the next, I found myself involved in a dispute between supreme beings, and an enormous burden was placed on my shoulders. Such a burden that I could not have imagined the future that lay ahead of me.

-I... I don't want to," I said as my voice trembled, "I don't want to take part in all this, I just want to rest and see my first wife, so I can apologize to her.

Mmmh... I'm sorry, but it's not that simple.

The mysterious entity scratched its head as it answered me.

However, there is something I can do to cheer you up. I propose this, you will now live 49 lives preparing for the 100th life, which will be when you will be involved in the fight between gods. When you fulfill your task in that life, I will let you reunite with your wife.

... I stared at him puzzled...

-Hey, are you serious? Am I going to be able to see her again? How is that possible? How do I know you're not cheating on me?

Well, I am a god after all, right? So, of course it's possible. On the other hand, you're going to have no choice but to trust me.

I couldn't believe it. I was going to be able to see my wife again. I was going to be able to apologize to her. Apologize for leaving her alone, for leaving her the difficult task of raising our daughter on her own. However, that was a long way off. I would have to work hard to be worthy of seeing her again.

-Okay, I'll do it.

Genyaaal! Not that you had much choice either, but it's good to know that you'll make an effort. We don't have much time left, so before you go let me tell you something....

I hadn't realized it, but the atmosphere began to turn black.

No surrender, okay? If I see that happen, and you escape by way of death, I won't let you see your wife. So, give it your best shot! Good luck!

Darkness flooded the atmosphere, and I opened my eyes again. Once again, the cycle repeated itself.

...

What awaited me in my next lives, I could never have imagined. When that god said it was going to be hard, he was very serious. From that moment on, I lived the real hell. Life after life, I was molded into a soldier.

Since then, I have been forced to live through different kinds of hardships that have put me to the test, such as wars, whether international, national, medieval, or I have simply had to go through marginal life, being someone who barely had enough to eat, having to make the most difficult decisions I have ever faced. In this way, little by little, I have been facing the cruelty of the world.

I was slipping further and further into madness and despair. My look began to become somber and my face expressionless. Every time I reincarnated, my close ones worried about my health when they saw me in that state. A few times I was able to form my own family in that situation. However, the only thing I could conclude from that was that it was a waste of time to form bonds. Sooner or later this world was going to break them by force. I had to face the death of my friends, colleagues, family members, and even my wife and children. Little by little, I was sinking into a pit, into deep, dark waters. I came very close to hitting bottom and giving up repeatedly, yet the desire to see my wife again kept me halfway sane enough to continue.

Thus, I was turned into the soldier of that god. One who lost almost all his emotions. One whose face is that of someone lost. One of someone tired, and with the only desire to die and rest in peace.

So, here I am today, sitting in a chair contemplating the view from a skyscraper. All around me, corrupt government officials whom my mission was to assassinate. From this building I was not going to make it out alive, which doesn't matter, after all, I'm just a replaceable pawn. Multiple footsteps approached at high speed, it must have been security. The doors opened and they entered. In my right hand I held a switch. I pressed it, and everything exploded, killing me and everyone in the room. Thus ends my 99th reincarnation.

...

Once again, I found myself in a white room and, as expected, in front of me stood the blissful figure.

-Well, it looks like the time has come.

That's right. It was a tough ride, wasn't it?

-No doubt, but as long as you keep your word, it will have been worth it. Now send me to that world, please.

Ohhh, so much excitement, what's rushing you so fast?

-I want to end this once and for all.

All right, all right. Anyway, before I send you off I'd like to tell you something. This world is not like any other you have seen. It may have similar traits to others you've already experienced, but it's going to be different. A little more... exceptional

-Huh? -What do you mean?

Well...

He stared at me for a few seconds.

Ha, you'd better figure it out on your own.

Oh, this guy really irritates me.

Well, without further ado, I bid you farewell, and good luck.

So, once again, everything went black, and when I opened my eyes again, I was in a new body.

Mental stability: 15%.