Magic

About two years had passed since I had reincarnated in this world. Because I had perfected the art of walking in this body, I could roam the house at will, without the need for outside help. In this way, I went inside to investigate in more depth a room on the second floor. More specifically, the one where texts and objects that I had never seen before were stored.

It was full of dirt. In the corners there were leafy cobwebs and each of the furniture contained mountains of dust, highlighting the little cleaning that had been devoted to it in a long time.

Just like the room when I was reincarnated, this one had a window where sunlight entered, which was its main source of illumination. Thanks to this, it was possible to clearly contemplate each of the elements present there. On one side, there were long shelves that allowed a clear view of each of the objects placed there. There were various colored stones, some weapons, such as daggers or swords, and an old piece of armor. In addition to this, there was a small piece of furniture that sheltered a few books, which were in precarious conditions. Finally, there was an old trunk that was padlocked, so he did not know what was inside.

Everything around me caused me curiosity, and most of my doubts were likely to be quenched by the information contained in those neglected books. As is well known, the texts contain wisdom. Wisdom that helped me to discover the uncertainties of this world, such as the phenomenon of magic.

As I was not yet tall enough to reach the tomes on the furniture, I took a box from nearby and placed it in such a way that it would allow me to reach my goal. How fortunate that in this house there are several boxes that allow me to reach places I can't reach.

I took one of the books that were in storage and placed it on the floor in order to read it.

Several minutes passed, and the leaves passed one after the other. I stopped at each one to pay close attention to them. However, in each one of them there was a decisive factor that prevented me from reading. I...

-... I can't read them.

Something unheard of had happened. As with the tongue, I was unable to understand what was written there. Each of the symbols, harmoniously placed one after the other, seemed like simple scribbles to me. Once again, this world was imposing a linguistic wall on me.

This time, it would be impossible for me to figure out this challenge on my own. I needed help.

-Mommyisss. -I went to my two mothers and made the cutest face I could. I discovered a room that has a lot of books, but I can't read them, could you read me one please?

Wow, I have really stooped low. Who would have thought I would have to resort to such a humiliating remedy?

They both looked at each other and after a few seconds Catelyn answered me.

-Of course, honey, no problem. We can take turns with Alice reading to you.

In this way, as they narrated to me what was written in the texts, I learned how to read this new language. I also asked them about certain words that I did not understand or about some of the wording.

...

With this routine, after a year of that, I learned to read fluently and no longer required his help.

I found it helpful to find the pattern of each symbol. They resembled, to some extent, the letters I was used to. Once I deciphered each symbol, it didn't take me long to match them to words.

As my visit to the dusty room became frequent, we gave it a cleaning so that I could come in whenever I wanted.

Of the books they had stored, 3 of them stood out:

Our World, a book that gave information about the continents and their characteristics.

Las luces y las sombras, a children's book, with which my mothers taught me to read.

Manual of Magic, a manual that explained how magic worked and contained some spells to learn.

The latter was the one that interested me the most, as I had never witnessed magic in person. I had seen people sent to the stake because of rumors that they were witches, but never a real one.

By reading it, I was able to learn the basics.

First, there were three types of magic: Attack, Support, and Summon.

Within the Attack Magic, there were 4 main types of elements. Water, fire, earth and air. The rest of the existing elements were variations or combinations of these. As the name implies, these were incantations that could harm others.

Support Magic consisted, basically, of status change spells. Its domain ranged from healing wounds to strengthening the body, boosting stats and abilities beyond natural limits. It was not a direct combat magic, but in the right hands, it could make the difference between life and death.

Finally, Summoning Magic was, as you might imagine, about summoning things, be they spells, living things or spirits.

The book also said that mana was required to be able to use the spells. Mana dwelled within all beings, to a greater or lesser extent. It seemed that magical potential was determined at birth and, although it could be increased with practice, its maximum was reached at the age of fifteen. To tell the truth, it felt a little unfair that it was chance that delimited this. How much potential would I have?

Even so, there was mention of the existence of magic items that allowed you to reduce the amount needed to cast a spell.

On the other hand, there were two methods of conjuring magic.

The first was through incantations, like the one Alice had used on me with her healing spell. It was enough to utter the right words and channel the mana.

The second method involved the use of magic circles, which were a kind of runes or patterns used to recite spells. To draw them, a special ink was required, which could be purchased or manufactured. Once drawn, these circles needed a source of mana to activate, either from oneself or from magical stones. These circles must have been the explanation of how the flames used in this house for cooking came about.

It also stated that there were a few wizards who were able to develop the ability to create spells without the need for incantations, and even in some cases, without the need for circles. Although it did not say how that was possible.

In the book were spells of Attack Magic and some healing spells. I also had a few magic circles, but I didn't have enough ink to test them.

...

With all this known, I decided to try reciting a basic attack spell, which seemed to be the most accessible to me at the time.

With that, I stood in the middle of the room and grabbed the book with my left hand on the corresponding page, and stretched out my right hand. I decided to start with a water spell, as it seemed the safest option.

-Eternal river, hear my call and flow, bring to my hands your sacred water and give me your strength, Water Ball!

From my right hand I felt energy begin to flow, as if my blood was concentrated at that point. Then, a small sphere of water manifested. However, instead of flowing forward, it fell to the ground, wetting it in the process.

I dried the floor with a blanket that was lying around and approached the book again.

Why didn't the Water Ball shoot out? I checked the book to see if there was any explanation, but I found nothing.

I recited the spell again to see if anything changed from the previous time but, once again, the liquid sphere fell to the ground. It wasn't the only thing that fell, though. Suddenly, I began to feel dizzy and collapsed myself as well.

...

Reading one of the written explanations, I discovered that what had happened to me was that I ran out of mana. When that happened, one used to faint. However, it was nothing serious, after a while the mana recovered itself, and you could go on as if nothing had happened.

However, that meant that I did not enjoy a large amount of mana, as I was barely able to recite a basic incantation twice, which hinted that I would not be able to with higher level ones. This fact was troubling to me at first, but I tried to console myself by coming to the conclusion that it must be because I was still at a young age.

When I came to, I continued practicing until nightfall, passing out again and again in the process. The next day I continued with the exercise, but at no time did I succeed in getting the Water Ball to shoot out. After trying a couple more times to no avail, it occurred to me to ask Alice how to do it, as she seemed to know all about it.

At first he would just tell me not to worry, as I was still too young, but after a lot of prodding, he gave me the answer.

-Mommy Alice, I wanted to ask you to help me with something," I said, looking at her with tender eyes. How many more humiliations would I have to go through before I could get information about what I wanted?

-Of course, Al. What do you need? Do you want me to read you a book?

-No, thank you. Not this time. I saw that you were very good with magic, and I was wondering what were the steps you followed to cast a spell.

He had to ask the question in an unconventional way. I couldn't tell him that his three-year-old son could read, let alone that he was trying to use magic. I didn't want to imagine her reaction.

-What's with this question all of a sudden?

Shit, it didn't land. I must tell him something suitable to make him respond. Think, think.

-I just... I think you're really cool when you do incantations, and I was wondering how I could be as awesome as my mom.

-....

There was no response from him. Hell, it didn't work! I blew it!

-Well, well, what a beautiful boy we have! Who knew this was my son? Of course, I'll tell you what I do when I use magic.

Huh? It was effective. From one moment to the next, Alice found herself blushing and with her hands on her cheeks as she shook her head sideways.

-Well, you see, at first I had a hard time being able to use it, since they always remained static, but eventually I managed to do it. It helped me a lot to visualize the spell.

-Visualize them?

-When I focus on what I want to recite, and imagine where I want to expel it, it becomes possible for me to achieve it much more easily.

-That is to say, you use your imagination.

-Correct.

-I see, thank you very much, Mommy!

-You're welcome, sweetie. And don't worry about being like your mommy right now. Magic is very complicated at such a young age.

-Yes, thank you," I replied, and went back to the room.

With the data acquired, I decided to try one more time.

Again, with book in hand and arm outstretched, I recited the words again.

Before my eyes, the air vibrated and the water took shape, condensing into a crystalline orb that floated with a faint glow. Its surface trembled, contained by an invisible force.

Once it manifested itself, I closed my eyes for a moment and imagined it flying through the air until it crashed against the wall.

And at the very instant the thought crossed my mind, the orb obeyed. It shot out with speed, leaving a fleeting trail before impacting with a wet bang.

He had succeeded.

So, day after day, I kept practicing the same spell without rest. For a whole month, repeating it until every gesture, every flash of energy, became part of me. With each attempt, my mastery grew, and with it, my mana.

At first, I could barely summon two Water Balls before I felt exhausted. Now, after countless repetitions, I could create up to forty before reaching my limit. The difference was abysmal. I had evolved.

However, something was still bothering me. So far, I had relied on incantations to conjure. But according to what the book said, there was another way: magic without words. Before moving on to new spells, I wanted to take my understanding of the current one to the next level. After all, what was the point of accumulating spells without really mastering them?

Since the book gave no instructions on how to do this, I was going to have to figure it out on my own.

I closed my eyes and reviewed the process in my mind.

To do this, I had to think about the sensations I experienced and what happened each time I recited it.

First, I intoned the incantation. Then, a strange sensation built up in my hand. While that was happening, my mind visualized the liquid sphere taking shape, suspended in the air. Finally, I would project it toward its target.

Now, he had to be able to perform the same process and arrive at the same result, without the need to enunciate the "magic words".

In this whole process, the most important thing, as Alice had said, was visualization.

I straightened up, stretched out my hands and let my breathing calm down. I had to feel the magic, not force it.

I closed my eyes and imagined it. I visualized the flow of energy coursing through my body, channeling into my hands, transforming into water. I felt it as if it was already happening.

The seconds dragged on. A minute passed.

My concentration intensified. Suddenly, a strange sensation coursed through my veins, a warm tingling that pooled in my palms. My blood was throbbing.

I opened my eyes.

In front of me, floating in the air, was the Water Ball. I had made it.

...

Another month passed since that triumph. With each passing day, my mastery of magic grew, and my mana expanded even more, as if my body began to adapt to the constant flow of energy.

Now, conjuring Water Balls without incantations had become almost second nature. But I didn't stop there. During that time, I also practiced other Beginner level spells.

One thing I learned was that magic was divided into different levels, taking into account its complexity and potency. The order would be as follows: Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, Holy, Royal, Emperor and Divine. From the Advanced rank, someone was considered to have crossed the line between apprentice and master. But reaching the Holy rank meant something more: it was a status, an affirmation of power that could not be ignored. And the higher the level, the fewer were those who reached it.

Since I was only learning Beginner spells at the moment, I had a long way to go. The Manual of Magic was very useful to learn, but it only contained spells up to intermediate level, so it was only good for initiation. If I wanted to learn something even better, I would have to resort to other means.

...

After a few months, Poe began to teach me swordplay. I considered it a bit hasty, considering that I was still a child. I was already well acquainted with the sword, thanks to all that I had used it in my past lives.

Despite that, I still couldn't land a blow. Although my childish body was not fully developed, my skill was still above average. But against him... it was useless. Every attack I launched was dodged, every attempted blow thwarted with humiliating ease.

Before starting with the practical part, my father had given me a theoretical lesson. First of all, one's level was divided into the same ranks as with magic.

Then, there were 3 styles of sword fighting. The first one was called the God of War Style. An art of pure attack. Each move is designed to strike with maximum power and speed, destroying the opponent's defense before he can react.

Then there was the Water God Style, which focused on defense, using the opponent's attacks against him, provoking and taking advantage of openings.

Finally, there was the Mountain God Style, which was the most unpredictable of all. It was based on using all kinds of tricks to win a battle. This style of fighting included the use of other types of weapons, not only the sword.

Poe had an advanced level in all such styles, and Catelyn had an advanced level in the God of War Style. Both were strong, respectable warriors of high caliber.

During the mornings, I would train with my father the sword, and the rest of the time I would learn magic. While I wanted to learn it in secret, so as not to frighten my parents, there was one occasion when Alice entered the room unawares, and caught me reciting a spell. Contrary to my expectations, she was neither surprised nor did she find it unnatural, but was thrilled. I kept practicing in the room from then on, but I used to ask her for help with the whole healing thing because I had a hard time understanding how they worked.

He had been a doctor many times, and he understood how the human body worked, but once again, this world surpassed the laws of nature. A simple beginner level healing spell could heal small wounds in a few seconds that would have taken a week to heal normally.

Magic amazed me more and more as I learned. If beginner spells were that impressive, what would spells at a more advanced level be like?

Just thinking about it made me excited and my heart beat faster. This was going to be a very interesting world. I couldn't wait to see what the future held.

...

Two more months went by and I had learned all the beginner level spells in the book. Once I got the hang of it, the rest were easy to learn.

As expected, my amount of mana increased even more. I wondered if with this practice I could increase my potential and not be held back by the chains of fate and luck.

Whatever the case may be, this time, I decided to try reciting an Intermediate level spell. I had already mastered the first level, now I had to increase my abilities and advance to the next step.

To do this, I went out into the courtyard of the house, for any incident that might occur inside. As I had never tried them before, I didn't know the power they had, and I didn't want the house to suffer the consequences of my carelessness.

Since the incident, my parents were aware that I was practicing magic on my own. However, they did not expect me to have advanced so far in such a short time. Magic was difficult to learn even for adults. Not only that, but I could read, and I deciphered a book that had little information on how to use it. That wasn't normal for a kid my age. I guess I was careless in that respect.

But what could someone who had never seen magic do but get excited? My parents would surely think I was some kind of genius. I just hoped they wouldn't send me to some kind of gifted school or something. It had happened to me before, and I could tell they were suuuper boring.

Well, as I was saying. I was in the garden of our house. It was of considerable size and well kept. At one end, there were some trees that Catelyn took care of. They were not very tall, barely reaching six feet, but their branches bore an exquisitely sweet fruit. At the other end, there was a crop of flowers, which Alice took care of with great care. In the center of the garden, there was a dummy with which Poe used to practice his sword techniques.

On this occasion, I asked Poe if I could borrow his doll to practice this new spell.

-Remember Al, this spell is going to require you to use more mana than you're used to. So don't panic, okay? We're here for anything that might happen.

Behind me were my three parents sitting and looking at me. The one to give me the warning was Catelyn, while her sister nodded with a worried face.

Since I was advancing steadily, they decided to watch my attempt to learn a higher level spell. That is why I would have them as spectators this time.

-Yes, also, don't worry if you don't get it right the first time. This spell is going to be more complicated than what you've already done. You can try it again as many times as necessary.

Now Alice was warning me. I guessed they were nervous. I didn't blame them. I turned around and with a smile I answered them:

-Yes, thanks for the warnings, but there's nothing to worry about. I'm going to be fine.

I looked ahead again and opened the book to the indicated page. I was going to try a water one first, for the same reason as the first time. If something got out of control, it might as well be water instead of fire and burn everything.

In this way, I spread my legs at shoulder height, held the book in my left hand, and extended my right hand. With that position, I began to recite:

-Deep and turbulent waters, answer my call. It surges with impetus, in a single instant, launches a fierce and fleeting torrent....

As the words left my mouth, a surge of energy began to concentrate in my palm. I could feel the mana building up, absorbing in much greater quantities than usual. It was as if I was casting several Beginner level spells at the same time.

The feeling took me by surprise for an instant, but I could not allow myself to hesitate. I had to go ahead.

-Like a cannon, unleash your fury, break down barriers, with force and haste. Water Cannon!

From my right hand emerged a Water Ball, but this one was not like the previous ones. Its size was colossal, at least four times larger than any I had conjured before.

However, that wasn't over yet, if I wanted it not to stay static, I had to visualize its trajectory.

As soon as the image formed in my mind, the liquid sphere shot out at a terrifying speed. As soon as it did, the doll in front of me instantly disappeared. Not only was it bigger, but it was faster and stronger than any spell I had tried so far. This was the intermediate level.

The impact was so powerful that it made me lose my balance and fall on my butt. As I traveled the distance, the Water Cannon gradually dissipated, leaving a rainbow in its path.

I looked back and there were my parents, dumbfounded. They were amazed. Not only had I cast an Intermediate level spell, but I had succeeded on my first try.

-Hahahahahaha! That's my son. -Poe stood up and lifted me onto his shoulders. He looked happy and proud.

-Impressive... I'm speechless. -Alice still seemed to be taking it in, but she came up to me with a gentle smile and congratulated me.

-It was to be expected. After all, he has my genes coursing through his veins. -Catelyn smiled smugly, crossing her arms with a triumphant gesture.

Everyone was happy, including me. I had taken another step forward in this world.

...

It was a happy day for the family. My three parents were restless and kept preparing things around the house.

The reason is that it was my birthday. More specifically, it was my fifth birthday. The previous years, we also celebrated this date, however, on this occasion, it was a much bigger preparation. The reason was that my parents decided that they were going to prepare a big celebration for my fifth, tenth and fifteenth birthdays, as they considered these to be much more special occasions.

My birthday was to be celebrated with just the four of us. My parents didn't get along very well with their families, and they lived far away. Besides, since I came here, I hadn't made enough friends to invite.

Catelyn was cooking what looked like a giant rodent, which Poe had hunted. She was throwing all sorts of condiments on it. Alice had taken care of decorating the house. She put some sort of patterned fabrics and a tablecloth on the table, which I had never seen before. "This tablecloth I keep for special occasions," that's what she had told me.

It had been a long time since I started learning magic. I could already master all the spells contained in the book. There were some that cost me more than others, but eventually I was able to master them all.

According to my father, if I continued like this, I could become a great adventurer. If I could learn higher level spells and join a good group, I could make a good name for myself and make a living out of it. Alice didn't like the idea very much because she said it was dangerous, but it sounded interesting to me. I still didn't know much about adventurers, so I would have to look into it later.

On the other hand, I had not been able to make much progress with the sword. I couldn't even come close to Poe in terms of strength and technique, let alone speed. And to think that in the past I was considered one of the best swordsmen in the world. No, it must be because of my current body. Yes, it must be because of that, I shouldn't worry.

I loved to sit and watch him and my mother train. Their striking exchanges were so impressive that I never tired of watching them. I wanted to watch someone of an even higher rank fight. It must have been amazing.

After a long time of waiting for the food to be ready, we sat down at the table to enjoy our dinner. As always, we joined hands as if to pray, and gave thanks for the food that was present. This was something that I was very pleased that my family had as a custom. I, in particular, had experienced first hand what it was like to go through extreme hunger. It seemed right to give thanks for the possibility of having something to eat.

I enjoyed the dinner very much. I don't know why I enjoyed this particular one the most. Maybe it was the fact that it was my birthday, or I just felt more relaxed. It had been a long time since I had been able to relax and enjoy some family time.

When we finished eating, the three of them approached me to give me a gift each.

First Poe came and gave me a great double-edged sword. When he gave it to me, he said, "While you are very good with magic, in the future you will have a family, and you must be skilled with the sword to be able to protect them. Magic is useful, but it is also slow, you must have several skills if you want to protect someone."

He was right about that. In fact, he had said something very wise. One cannot consider oneself strong or satisfied just by mastering one or two skills. One must go beyond and perfect everything within one's reach. One must not be content with what one already knows, one must seek new possibilities and broaden one's horizon.

Then, my mothers came together.

-Here son, Alice and I want to give you this as a gift. We know you've been making a lot of progress with magic, and we wanted to give you some new options to practice.

In this case, I was given a book, a pen and ink. The title of the manuscript was "Magic Circles".

-We asked a contact of ours to bring us these things from a nearby city.

It seemed that this was the special ink that would allow me to make magic circles. Not only that, I now had a detailed book on how these circles worked. Without a doubt, this was going to be of great use to me.

-Thank you very much mothers! This is going to be very useful for me.

-Aaaaay, but what a beautiful child we have.

They both rushed over to hug me. My dad in the background looked a little frustrated. I guess I didn't look very enthusiastic when I thanked him for his gift. It's not my fault, I still get a little frustrated just thinking that I don't approach him in skill. It makes me nervous to think of my sword techniques being useless in this world. Be that as it may, I'll have to show him more gratitude later.

Catelyn looked at him with a mocking tone. He simply looked away. He thought he gathered that they had argued about this beforehand and she had won.

-Well, I think it's time to tell him, don't you?

Poe walked over to us and looked at my mothers. They both looked at each other and smiled.

-Yes, I suppose that's true.

The two stood up and approached him.

-Al, listen well. You're going to be a big brother. Cate and Alice are pregnant.

-....

Huh? Pregnant? I didn't know what to say. I supposed it was bound to happen sooner or later, after all, they were quite active in the evenings. But... Why... why was my chest warmer? Why was my heart starting to beat harder? Why... was I so excited?

I had already had siblings before. I had already formed my own family, even. But... Why, it wasn't something I hadn't already experienced. I didn't know if it was because of the environment I was in. If it was because I felt so comfortable there. Maybe it was because I hadn't had the feeling of belonging to a family for a long time.

Whatever the case, I was happy. I was slowly leaving my past behind me. I was starting over, and integrating myself into a new family.

-Incredible. Congratulations!

It was the only thing I could respond to the news. They were the only words that could come out of my mouth. I was happy.

Mental stability: 40%.

...

However, happiness was not really something for me. Just when I was beginning to forget about my past, it appeared before me again. Night was falling, and with it, the weight of a destiny I could never escape.

As I was about to go to sleep, he appeared before me. Or rather me.

Ever since I had begun my fiftieth life, its presence made itself felt from time to time. A specter of myself, a relentless figure that emerged from the darkness only to remind me of who I was and what my mission was.

Maybe I was delirious. Maybe my sanity had cracked after so many lives, after so much suffering. But there it was, as real as the world around me.

He was a figure of one meter seventy-five. His facial features were indistinguishable as darkness emanated from his entire body. It was like looking at a three-dimensional shadow.

-What do you think you're thinking? Did you really think you could be part of a family?

His voice was a distorted, resonant echo, like a wail that crawled from deep inside me.

There he was.

Standing next to my bed, his imposing silhouette projecting a presence that chilled my blood.

I, on the other hand, remained seated, my fists clenched on the sheets.

-I... I thought... nothing would happen if I just joined them.

-Oooh. You thought.

His tone dripped with contempt.

-You can't believe that kind of thing.

He stepped forward. The room seemed to shrink.

-You are a soldier. And a very important one.

Another step.

The air became thick.

-One with a mission.

My lips trembled. I tried to respond, but my voice choked in my throat.

-Do you really think you can ignore your past? Erase who you really are?

My mind was twisting at his words. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him he was wrong, but.... was he really?

-Tell me, do you think that, just by closing your eyes and playing family, you will one day be able to be reunited with your wife?

My insides shrank.

-Eehhrmm. I... I....

-Let me answer you.

His voice cut the air like a knife.

-NO.

A sharp blow to my chest. As if his word was a direct hammer blow to my soul.

-You can't be part of a family.

I felt cold. An eerie emptiness that spread from my chest to every corner of my being.

-You are currently an object.

Each syllable fell with the weight of a sentence.

-An object with an objective.

The pressure on my shoulders was unbearable.

-Developing feelings for those around you is a waste of time.

My breathing became agitated. My hands shook.

But something inside me refused to give in.

I gritted my teeth. I raised my face.

My voice came out, shaky but firm.

-That... is... not... true.

-Mmmmh... Isn't it? -His voice echoed deep inside my head, reverberating in every corner of my being-. Let me remind you of something: feelings have only brought you suffering. Do you even remember what happened to John? How much his death made you suffer.

-Don't you dare mention it! -I growled angrily, but he didn't even flinch.

-Ohohoh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... -he replied in his mocking, insincere tone-. But you can't deny it, can you? And you know what's even more interesting? He's not the only one. You've lost countless people in your past lives. How many times have you cried for someone? How many times have you watched the ones you loved die? And yet... tell me, how much do you remember about him?

-¡...!

The blow was sure. I wanted to respond immediately, but my throat closed. My mind desperately searched for images, memories, moments... but found only shadows.

John.

The name was familiar. It hurt to hear it. I felt a heartbreaking emptiness when I recalled it, but...

I could not see it.

I could not remember her face, her voice, the way she laughed, the moments we shared. Only an echo of her existence remained, the scar of her absence, but not the memory of her being.

-You can't, can you? -His voice deepened, implacable-. Think about it. Really, how much are you capable of remembering?

Shit. Shit.

He was right. It wasn't just John. There were more. Many more. My mind felt like a book with pages torn out, like a photo album where only empty frames remained.

Yes, I knew I had loved them, I knew I had lost them. I remembered the sadness, the despair, the hatred. But not their faces. Not their names.

Only emotions remained.

-No one could remain sane after all you've been through,- he continued, slowly approaching-. That's why I'm in charge of containing all those memories.

I knew right then and there what he meant.

I had not forgotten them.

He had locked them in.

-You may eventually recover some fragments, -he continued-, but if it weren't for me, you wouldn't even be able to smile right now.

My breath hitched. It couldn't be true. I didn't want it to be true.

I felt his presence leaning toward me. I couldn't see his face, but I felt it. So close that his voice seemed to be whispered directly into my mind.

-It doesn't matter what you want here. It matters what you must do.

A shiver ran through my skin.

-If you want to see her again... -his voice became grave, steely, like the blow of a hammer on an anvil-, you must put your feelings aside and become the soldier you are.

"Back to see her".

My heart pounded.

-Don't let this world make you soft, or you won't be able to achieve your goal.

I remained silent.

-Remember what you are and what you have lived.

And with those last words, he disappeared.

The shadow dissipated, as if it had never been there.

But the weight of his words remained.

I found myself alone in the gloom of my room, my hands trembling and my gaze lost on the floor. Reflecting.

He was right.

I could not afford to forget.

I could not afford to be weak.

If I really wanted to reach my goal...I had to remember who I was.

The door to my room opened with a soft creak, breaking the heavy silence that had settled in after her departure. The light from the hallway filtered through the threshold, and Catelyn's silhouette appeared in the doorway.

She wore a radiant smile, the kind that always gave me a warm feeling in my chest, although now... now it hurt.

-Hi, Al, -her voice was sweet, full of tenderness-. I was just coming to say goodbye.

She approached with soft steps, and before I could react, I felt the warm touch of his lips on my forehead.

-I am very proud of you. -Her eyes reflected a sincere, pure affection, something I didn't think I deserved. It makes me so happy that you are my son. I can't wait to see you and your little brother play together.

My fingers tightened against the sheets.

My little brother.

The mere mention of its existence brought a pang in the chest.

I forced myself to smile. To show her the best expression I could muster at that moment.

-Me neither. I am very excited.

Catelyn let out a soft, crystalline laugh.

-Hahahaha. Good night, son. I love you very much.

-Good night, Mother.

She turned off the light in my room, and darkness spread around me like a thick blanket. I heard his footsteps walking away, the faint click of the door closing, and then... silence.

I lay there, motionless, staring at the ceiling, as if it hid answers I couldn't find in my own mind.

There was something comforting in his words. Something that made me feel part of this family... but it was also what made me more vulnerable.

I... could not hesitate.

If I wanted to be happy, I had to fulfill my goal. And to achieve it, I had to be strong. In every sense of the word. I had to perfect both my technique with the sword and my skills with magic. And not only that, I also had to put my feelings aside, so they wouldn't get in the way.

I could not allow them to become a distraction, an obstacle. Happiness was a luxury I could not afford the privilege of pursuing.

I was no ordinary child.

He could not be an older brother.

It could not be a son.

In my current path, it didn't matter what I wanted, but what I had to do.

After all I had lived through, I was not clear who I was. All my lives had corrupted me little by little to the point where I didn't know exactly who I really was. Only two things were clear to me. The first was that my goal was to see her again. The only thing that kept me alive was that. And second, that I was...

A soldier.

Mental stability: 18%.