Chapter:5
"What exactly do you expect from me?" I asked.
She hands raised in a pleading gesture. "I want you to open up. Give me something to work with. Talk to me."
"I have nothing to say. My life is completely boring; it's void of any excitement, entertainment or any real pleasure for that matter. I exist. I go to school, hang out with my brothers afterward, play some video games, and do some homework...maybe read a little and go to bed. That is my day. Do you want to know what I ate for breakfast?"
She huffed. "Have you given any consideration to playing baseball in the spring?"
Awww, she's gonna start this shit again?
"Uh, no. I'm done playing ball," I responded curtly, letting her know this was not a topic that was open for discussion. Not that any particular topic could necessarily be considered as open, but this one specifically was none of her fucking business.
"Why is that, may I ask?"
I shook my head, leaning my elbows on my knees. Topic closed.
"Edward, I think that this is something of importance that we should discuss. It would be insightful to-"
I cut her off sharply. "It's not who I am. I'm not that person anymore, alright?" The popular, all American, baseball playing, good boy next door that every girl is dying to bring home to their mother died the night I was with What's- Her –Face.
Done. Gone. History. Eddie Masen is dead. Now get the hint and change the subject before I throw that picture of your ugly kid at your head and walk out of this office.
"How are your panic attacks?" she asked, changing the subject. I suppose the growing hostility in my voice and my obvious tensed posture discomfited her. I knew I could be intimidating at times. I think that's why my whole damn predicament happened in the first place.
"Fine. I haven't had one in six months."
"Have you thought about going back on the medication?"
"Why would I do that? I don't need it anymore." Jesus. This woman…
"Well, I think perhaps it would help your anger a bit, maybe lead you to put some perspective on things."
I dropped my head in my hand out of frustration, running my fingers through my hair. I really wanted a cigarette and a cup of coffee and to get the hell out of there. "No, I don't want the meds anymore. It's nothing but a crutch and I am doing much better." I didn't need to tell her that the primary reason I went off the meds was because mixing alcohol with anti-depressants was a definite mix for disaster. I was not about to have my weekends messed up too.
"If I may change our focus back to your new neighbor. Do you have plans to get to know her as a friend?" she asked, presumably working to gather some insight on my damaged psyche and my apparent feelings of distain toward women in general.
"Sure. I think it might be nice to get to know a sweet young lady and then have to explain why I am so distant only to have her run away from me screaming," I replied, sarcasm dripping from my tone.
"Edward, you don't need to be physical with a person to have a relationship with them. There are many ways to be intimate with a woman without actually touching. There's no need to have bodily contact with a friend."
Don't lunge across the coffee table at her. Don't do it. I took a calming breath, my fists balled at my sides. "You see? This… This right here is what I am talking about. What you're basically saying to me is, 'Edward, you can have sex with a girl without forcing yourself on her.' You want to see my reaction to it. You are waiting for me to get angry, so I do what? Admit to something I didn't fucking do?" I stood up, kicked the leg of the chair and spat, "I'm done with this."
Slamming the door behind me, I didn't even need to look back to see her horrified expression. Carlisle would definitely be getting a call. I took the elevator down three flights to the lobby as I texted my brother Jasper. He was at Starbucks across the street, so I crossed, glaring at him while I ordered a double espresso. Leaning against the brick wall facing my car, I waited for him outside with a smoke while he finished up his conversation with the blonde sharing the table with him.
As he approached my car, I paused, staring disapprovingly at the cup in his hand. Without saying a word he tossed it in the trash. When I pulled away from the curb, he asked, "You have papers?"
I nodded toward the glove compartment, where he pulled out the package of rolling papers and began to empty the contents of a zip lock into the waiting sheet.
"You okay, bro?" he asked. I nodded, still highly agitated. My brothers, Jasper and Emmett, were the only people who really knew me. My parents got the G-rated version of Edward Cullen, and as far as I was concerned, my mom was the only woman I could trust. I hated feeling like that, but I had no choice on the matter really.
Once we got into the town of Forks, Port Angeles a distant memory, I had calmed down and all but forgot about the shit therapy session that I may or may not have overreacted to.
We were idling at a red light, while my gaze focused on a cute little brunette walking down the street. She had a great ass. Jasper noticed her too, though neither of us said anything. She had her head down distracted, her eyes focused intently on her phone when I noticed she was about to walk off the curb right into a huge piece of wood hanging out of the back of a beat up old red pickup truck.
"She's gonna walk right into the board," I said flatly.
"Yeah?" he countered. "Fifty says she'll pick her head up at the last minute." My instinct was to honk the horn to startle her into looking up, but I didn't want her or anyone else for that matter, thinking I was honking at her because she was cute. A sexual harassment accusation was all I needed.
"OOOOHHH!" We yelled simultaneously as she cracked the bridge of her nose right into the wood, causing her to literally stager back a few feet. Her phone dropped from her hands, the battery cover popping off onto the sidewalk.
"All beauty, no brains," I commented flatly.
"It's a shame," he said, laughing, as he dug in his pocket for the bills. "It's a good thing for her that she has a great ass."
"No, I think it's a good thing for us."
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