Chapter:12
Looking in the mirror, I smiled a bit wider, knowing that moving to Forks may have just been the best decision I could have ever made.
Later on, I thought of Edward's face as I drifted off to sleep.
That was the first night I had my way with Edward Cullen.
I've Been Watching You
I stand at an open window I see everything there is to see
I've been watching you
Isn't it true the fool keeps taking you down down taking you
I' ve been watching you
Isn't it true the world keeps taking you down down taking you
I've Been Watching You
~ Natalie Imbruglia
~Edward~
My head was fucking killing me. I woke with what felt like a giant pickaxe wedged between my frontal lobe and my skull. Occasionally, I was plagued with these horrific migraines; binding, deafening, completely debilitating headaches that nothing but strong painkillers would relieve. I would spend the day in bed, under the cover of complete darkness, and a shroud of Percocet. Unfortunately, I had an English exam fourth period and I never missed an exam. I was somewhat admittedly anal about my grades- amongst other things.
Carlisle said that was the result of stress and anxiety. I was a sixteen year old kid with the ailments of a forty five year old man. I suppose it could be worse. At least I didn't have acne or dandruff, so I guess migraines paled in comparison to that shit.
"Hey, no more driving Xanax to school." Jazz said excitedly. He rubbed his hands together, distracting me from my pathetic reverie. He popped down next to me at the kitchen island as my mother placed a plate with a buttered English muffin in front of me. She patted the back of my neck affectionately. I picked at the muffin, making a face that clearly showed my disgust.
"Edward honey, why are you taking Xanax? Are you having attacks again?" Esmom asked sweetly, always concerned about my anxiety attacks. I loved her dearly, but sometimes she was a little "out there."
"No, Mom," I responded with an exasperated sigh. "Xanax is Jazz's nickname for the little crack head down the street." She looked at me quizzically for a more elaborate explanation. "She's a little energetic, mom... Xanax relaxes you…" Esmom picked up her plate and left the table shaking her head. She strongly disapproved of us calling people names, and using pharmaceutical references to bat.
"Stop picking at your breakfast, and just eat it," she scolded.
"Ma, what the hell is this?" I asked.
"Organic spelt and flax seed muffins with unsalted soy butter." On the counter next to the coffee pot sat a container of organic enriched rice milk that I narrowed my eyes at bitterly. Where in the hell was my goddamn Half and Half. I was about to go into a full on rant about my shit being used and not replaced, but I just didn't have the energy for it.
Jasper mouthed, "Spelt?" I shrugged my shoulders, pushing the plate away. I was so not in the mood for the Hippie Gourmet today, not that I had much of an appetite at all.
"Why can't we be a normal family and eat Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast?" Jasper asked.
"Because I don't want my children ingesting dyes and artificial preservatives. Besides, have you looked in the mirror lately, either of you? Look at my gorgeous boys. You think that comes from Cocoa Pebbles?" She squeezed Jasper's chin and placed a kiss on top of his head.
"Well it sure as hell doesn't come from spelt," Jasper mumbled. "Hurry up, E. We're hitting the Coffee Bean drive through on the way in."
I nodded in agreement. "So, did Alice get her own car?"
"Nope, apparently Charlie's daughter's starting school today. Her name is Bella," he said with a terrible Italian accent. "Xanax said she's getting a ride with her from now on." I nodded, not really caring either way. Alice, or Xanax as we unaffectionately dubbed her, was a cute little girl, but she could definitely get on my nerves. I'm pretty sure she had a crush on Jasper, because whenever she was around him she seemed to go off like a frayed electrical wire. Around me, she was silent and seemed like she was petrified of my presence. I wasn't sure if that bothered me or not.
So evidently, the new girl with the great rack was taking little Alice off our hands. Fine with me. Even though Alice was cute in a Chihuahua sort of way, her incessant yapping at seven in the morning made me nuts.
We grabbed our bags, as Esmom endowed us with her good bye forehead kisses. I respectfully waited until she turned away to wipe at it, my OCD kicking in. I knew it was a problem, not only for myself, but it clearly affected everyone around me. Most times I could keep it at bay, but things out of order, messes and stupid things like unkempt fingernails, body hair and wrinkled clothing made me fucking crazy. And messy kisses. Messy anything, really. I had always been neat and organized…the typical type A personality; competitive, overachieving, hardworking, perfectionist…but when we moved to Forks it grew progressively worse.
I asked Jasper to drive that morning, even though it was my turn because I was afraid I couldn't concentrate from the headache pain. We watched from our driveway as Alice and the new girl, Bella apparently, greeted each other on her driveway. Jasper and I shared a knowing glance as they got into her car and tore down the road.
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