Chapter 20: If Only.

CALEB.

I was always used to getting what I wanted. From good grades, to popularity, to women, to money. Even as a CEO, I got contracts, the favor of shareholders, and political influence just as easily. Everything came as easy as I snapped my fingers. The struggle for anything was a foreign feeling to me. But there was one person I couldn't get to do my bidding, and that was Helena.

She was stubborn, kind, passionate, and patient. She was ferocious, tough, and had a fire I had never seen in a woman. She intrigued me, I was more than willing to find out what more she had in store.

I was with my friends that night in Hulvey, when we noticed a young girl getting mugged, and possibly, she would be raped as well. I don't engage in fights. I never have, and never will. But there was this inner drive to save her. To redeem her from their hands. And so I convinced my friends, and we followed them. I had rescued her that night, and meeting her would change my life forever.

I got to know her background, her struggles, and her fears. She was this naive little girl, and I had this urge to protect her from the ugly identities of this world. Life had taken a toll on her, and I vowed never to let her suffer again.I took her in, guided her and eventually, fell for her. She was perfect, like a ray of sunshine on a gloomy day. She brought out the best in me, and I was a better person around her. Her smile melted my heart, and her eyes sparkled even in the dark.

Of course, I let my selfishness get in the way of my reasoning. I let a good woman get hurt, because of my stupid actions. That night, I wasn't myself, I was someone else. Someone who didn't care about a thing in the world. Someone who would have killed in an instant. I hated myself for that. And I still do. If I'd never admitted I was wrong for doing something in my life, I was fucking wrong for hurting that woman. It was too late now, so I'd do the other thing that I loved, work.

Helena left my house in pain that night, despite my blindness, and I would probably live with triple that pain from now on.

Even as a CEO, handsomely rich and worthy of the attention of different women, I wasn't happy.

"Get the shareholders to hold a meeting by Friday." I said to my assistant, Jessica.

"Yes sir." She briskly walked out of my office. I had even forgotten how I hired her.

I was on the verge of drinking for the third time that morning, when the incessant buzzing of my phone forced me to glance at the caller ID. Kyle, my younger brother, was on the phone.

"What?" I spat the moment I clicked 'answer.' He never calls me unless it's to spite me, or piss me off. And I wasn't in the mood for either.

"Before you get all 'Mr Grumpy' on me, I just wanted to say I'm returning to Hulvey this weekend. I have a function I'm attending and want us to talk." His tone was serious, so I assumed it was something important. I bit my lower lip in annoyance.

Once in a blue moon.

"Where?" I wasn't one for long talk.

"The Castle Hotel. I'll be there. Friday night, 8pm. Bill's on me." That's suspicious. Today was Wednesday. Why would he want us to talk on such short notice?

"Like I can't pay for my own stay."

"If you would let your ego drop for even a second, I'll be damned." There was reluctant amusement in his voice.

"Fuck off, Gerome."

"You don't get to call me that."

He hated the name Gerome, mostly because it was dad who gave it to him.

"I have work to do. I'll text you on Friday, Gerome." I laid emphasis on the name, just to piss him off further.

My dad was a terrible excuse for a human. He was wealthy, charming, and had numerous tricks up his sleeves in the art of mastering humans, but he lacked those skills when it came to us.

Sure, he gave us everything we needed, he was generous to a fault. But as children, we needed psychological upbringing as well. And he neglected that. He was abusive to my mother, which attracted more hate from us.

I could remember a certain time, when she had forgotten to add an extra plate of cherries with his breakfast. It was me, Kyle, and my little sister, Brielle at home that day. We were preparing for school when we heard father hitting something with metal. It was so loud it reverberated throughout the house.

I could remember I ran downstairs, shouting, "What is making so much noise?" Only to see mom on the floor, trying to escape from my dad, who held an iron bat in his right hand. I was confused, scared and angry.

Why was he doing this to her?

Enough about my past, I'm getting a migraine again. I needed to relax.

I called my secretary, Harold. "Yes sir?"

"I'm leaving the office early. Make sure to lock up after you leave."

"Okay sir."

I hung up, grabbed my coat, keys and phones, and headed out. On my way, I bumped into Margaret.

"Oh good gracious Caleb! where are you going that's so important that you can't pay attention to where you're going?" She scolded.

Margaret was one of the oldest workers here, and she was basically family. She raised me after my mom left, and I saw her as my second mother.

"I'm sorry Margaret, I need some time off." I replied, brushing past her. She pulled me by the collar.

"Going to drink again? How long will you continue like this? One woman, Caleb. One!" She scolded me further.

"No, Margaret. She's not just 'one woman'. She is someone who deserved a lot better. I don't wanna talk about this right now. You'd better get back to work."

"If you love her so much, why don't you go find her? Why wallow in grief and misery for the rest of your life? You know your mother would have–"

"Don't talk to me about my mother. You don't know who or how she was. You have no right."

She widened her eyes at my retort, but didn't say anything further.

I sighed and headed out of the office.

'Just one woman.'

No, she wasn't just another woman. I actually loved her, and I hurt her. I should have just waited for her. I should have.

I steered my car to The Dynasty, one of the biggest clubs in Hulvey. They had first class service, with enough rooms, and I just needed somewhere private to drown out my sorrows.

"Booth 13, private." I said to the waiter. He nodded, gave me a card and let me on my way.

The club was practically empty. Booths were empty as I passed, and save for a few men who were already half drunk, and a couple making out on the far end of the club, it was…silent.

I got to booth 13 and ordered a Scotch whiskey. I needed something strong.

Slow jazz music played in the background, complementing my mood. My mind drifted to that day, three months ago, when Helena barged into my room, where I lay with a slut. Her pain filled eyes were ingrained into my brain, and her words, spoken with hurt and anger would replay in my head forever.

"You're despicable, Caleb. I hate you. I fucking hate you. Why would you do this to me? To us! It's been two years. All vanished into thin air. I hope you're happy, because I won't as much as look at you anymore. Stay away." She slammed the door. I stood there, panic-stricken and confused. I tried to talk to her, to ask her for forgiveness. To make her understand that it wasn't me talking, it was the drugs.

I will never forget that night.

I paid for my whiskey, and left. That's enough for tonight.

The club was already half filled by the time I left, and it was a good thing I came early. I drove home, suddenly craving a hot shower. I had meetings outlined throughout tomorrow, and there was my 'meeting' with Kyle on Friday. Why did he even want to see me?

I held a respectable level of seniority with him, so his request was rather..odd.

I turned the knob on my front door. I walked in. Lights off, kitchen window open, books stacked the way I left. Everything was the way it was, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. I checked everything, from my bar to how I kept my kitchen pots. I looked out the window, and saw a pair of brown boots, sprawled on the grass. I smirked, devilishly and picked up the phone.

No one trespasses me.