Chapter 13

If the Goddess is looking down on me at this moment I wonder what she would think. I wonder if I'm just a placement for a better priestess out there. Perhaps out there, beyond the azure horizon, painted golden by the dunes, there is a girl, a young girl, purer than the sunlight seeping through floral lace, purer than the warm glistens of light reflecting in an ever-lasting oasis. My heart grows in pain and torture and the burden of a future makes me want to scream. but I can't. I wonder if there is a girl out there who can. A girl who can scream, who can cry, who can laugh. A girl who can smile, and a free soul reflected in her soul.

I truly wonder if such a girl exists.

I don't dare to believe that one day, one day, that may be me.

"Elayne?"

A hesitant voice pauses my thoughts and I realise how much time has passes, and it's almost sunrise.

Her head peaks through a curtain framing the door and a mellow knock follows. I examine her and nod slightly letting her in. She looks slightly older but her skin a glowing tan, and her hair almond brown with ethereal, glossy waves. She's wearing a simple, long white dress with thin straps over her slender shoulders, and her ears adorned with humble gems which look to be sapphire. Her eyes are a gentle hazel with hints of honey and overflowing in sympathy and affection. Her eyes are the kind of eyes that look like a person is on the verge of tears, the starry-eyed kind. Her eyes are the opposite of the kind of eyes that Caelestis has.

His eyes are a forgotten rain, misted over and condensed by the fake hope he gives others in his fortunes. His eyes are a sapphire nightfall, illuminated by a lone moon searching in her reverie for a reason to live.

His eyes reflect a lifeless soul, but somehow he brings me life.

I'm brought back to focus when I hear my name echoed again and again, and I see the woman twirling her hair around her fingers, her head tilted and above me.

"Elayne dear?"

I nod and shy an attempt at a smile, I'm fighting back tears at the reminder of Mother.

"My room is right next to yours, my dear, if you ever need me. Cal asked me to take extra care of you so don't worry, you're safe here."

She's smiling tenderly, and her eyes show no intent to harm me. But she called him Cal.

I wonder how close they are?

I wonder if they're perhaps lovers?

I mean, it means nothing to me, but if so, then I should distance myself from him.

After all, I also have a lover.

Her earrings match his eyes.

They're beautiful. And she has such a majestic aura it seems like she's glowing. She feels like a ray of sunlight, and the soft scent of coconuts lingers in the air.

I hope I don't bring bring danger to her, I should probably leave this town soon. Everyone close to me ultimately dies, and I don't wish any more sadness upon Caelestis, not when I've already caused him so much trauma.

"You know Elayne you're welcome to join me in eating meals, I'd appreciate the company." She lets out a reserved chuckle.

"Cal only comes by every few months, but he was here only the other day. So I was quite taken when he brought back such a gorgeous girl. Gosh! He must have been such a bother." And she's going on, but I sort of enjoy this. I think I'm going to grow too fond of her. I shouldn't really, but she reminds me a bit of Lyra, I can't help but want to be closer.

"Ah, I realised I haven't introduced myself yet! My name is Nicia. Cal helped me set this village up, along with help from a few others, and I try to gather anyone I find astray. I understand the situation you're in, and I know you meant no harm, even if others said otherwise. So I hope Elayne my dear, you're able to rest."

I hate the fact I can't answer. I hate how I can't say how grateful I am for helping these people, and I don't dare to call then mine.

But then she signals to me.

Destiny will prevail.

Sign language was ceased to taught be decades ago, and was only ever taught at monasteries. The priestesses would learn to communicate with those who were mute or deaf, and those children were also taught.

"I learnt back when I was younger, my younger brother had lost his hearing in an attack, and the shock had created some sort of trauma he was never able to recover from. We were too poor to get him treated, and he passed away a couple years later from an illness. I wondered around alone until I met Cal."

So she met him the same way I did. Perhaps it's in his nature to help others, and he simply acts spiteful.

He has reason to show me hatred though.

"I'm sorry, I've been rambling. Well then, Dear, I'll see you tomorrow?"

I smile at her, wholeheartedly, and nod. I hope that I'll be able to keep her company for a few more nights at least.

As she's leaving, I tug at her arm to tell her what I wasn't able to convey. I sign to her my gratitude, and I confess that I relished her company.

"I enjoyed talking to you too. It's nice to have someone a similar age to me."

And she smiles so tenderly after saying goodnight and disappearing though the lace curtains.

Her facial expressions make me wonder how she is able to express such happiness after losing her brother, I wonder, if perhaps it was my fault he died.

I wish I could bring myself to apologise.