Lychee_02

Once, I was told, “Trust in Destiny, believe in what she tells you.” What a joke that turned out to be. Destiny has only ever brought ruin.
Six full moons have passed since I lost everything—six moons that have come and gone, indifferent to my suffering. They leave me behind, walk past me as if I no longer exist, as if I’m already forgotten. I’ve disappointed them, failed them, and I am powerless to ask them to stay. Who knew a voice could give up on you so easily? It’s pitiful. I am pitiful. Once, I was loved by all, and in turn, I loved so deeply it hurt. That love is a distant memory now, a phantom pain that refuses to fade. I still love, though it only brings more pain, more regret. I pray, even now, for someone—anyone—to love me again, to love me so fiercely that I can forget the pain I caused my people.

“Lilac eyes,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. “Your name is..."

"Elayne."

Destiny Tells

Every turn that I make walking down these streets, I feel constant eyes on me. Staring. Analysing my appearance and gossiping shamelessly. I've heard a few of their theories, that I'm a princess from a far away land, or a prostitute that claimed Caelestis' lust. Everyone finds it strange that he suddenly appeared with a woman, everyone finds it suspicious that I hide my face. I don't necessarily fit in with the appearance of the people either. I'm pale in this blazing desert, and my hair has grown far too long. But I'm afraid to cut it. Mother had always loved my hair, and she would spend her mornings combing it and trying different hairstyles. She would grace my hair using jewellery and flowers, and she found pride in her art.

I inherited my hair colour from my mother, as she did her mother, and so on. My father on the other hand, had hair the colour of golden rain in the sunlit sky. And his eyes an emerald forest. He brought radiance to every being, and he embellished Mother in love and adoration, because she was his starlight. Her ivory ash hair illuminated under the moonshine. Her eyes envisioned Neptune herself, a hazy blue mirroring a crystal clear sky one would only ever dream of.

The one person in this village that doesn't stare, is the owner of the stall filled with relics. I never see anyone purchasing things from him, I never see him selling anything to anyone.

But there is another thing that caught my eyes.

An ivory sword. It's scabbard ornamented with what seems to look like an emerald at the locket, and it's guard a solid gold.

It's hidden in the corner, but it seems to be cared for. I want it. Or rather, I need it. It would pass as a decorative blade, and I'd learn sword dance. I wouldn't be questioned on why I carry a sword, and it'll be on hand at all times.

It would be the perfect survival cost.

That way, perhaps I'll be less of a burden to him.

And if one day, Kallias comes back for me, and suddenly turns on me, I'd have a means of escape. I don't wish to clash with him, I hope to never have to. I simply hope to end this conflict, however if it comes to clashing swords, so be it.

It's been close to a year, yet he still hasn't thought to send word for me. Unless I just haven't heard of it yet, and he's still looking.

I don't know how I would face him. Knowing all the damage he's caused, is it right to still care for him? Is it right to still be in love with him, despite all that he's done to me. In all honesty, I've been deluding myself, praying that after everything he caused me, somewhere in his heart, I am there. After betraying me on our wedding day, leaving me to die, and leaving my family to rot, I tried validating his actions, as if perhaps there was a reason, and there still is a reason. Perhaps we were the terror, perhaps we were the ones inflicting the nightmares, the insanity. But I had yet to realise, that there was also the chance this was all part of his elaborate, exploitation of a plan.

I say knew because I don't know if I know him any more.

Chapter 15